I wasn't expecting to expand on the story, but I guess this is a little bit of a rewrite. It was stuck in my head so we had to make it a reality. As the title of the chapter suggests, this is the story through Towa's eyes.
"ugh..." I covered my nose at the scent of the industrial strength cleaner. It was enough to make your stomach churn, but that is beside the point today. Today was all about Mama. You see, Mama's been in hospital for about nine years now, the doctors have told us that however small the chance is, she could still wake up at a moment's notice. And I wouldn't miss that for the world, "Right Mama?"
I fix her hair, and clothing, make sure she's comfortable. She looks so peaceful there... like she's sleeping. My eyes sting with tears I force back down, 'Wake up, Mama.' Look out the window hoping that the view might settle me down, when I caught sight of Mama's favorite flower. A lone small faced sunflower in a petite red vase.
A snapshot of the past flashed before her eyes, Her mother's hands making quick work of the family's dishes. A masculine hand placed on the woman's shoulder, a gentle kiss on her temple, the sweet twinkle of her laughter. A gentle gaze from him as he presented her with a baby sunflower.
"Towa... What brings you here?" My back stiffened, of course, Setsuna never came anymore so the only other logical person was Him. I turn around to face him, my hand shaking beside me,, quickly hide it behind my back. He was dressed for success, navy blue suit and matching tie. Those cold dead eyes looked as if they were glaring at me. I'm sure the great Sesshoumaru Taisho was greatly disappointed in having a failure like me as a daughter.
"S-Sorry, I just wanted to see her before I had to go to school, Father." That word... It left a horrible aftertaste in my mouth. I watched him as he placed his cup he'd been holding, my guess was the shitty coffee they gave out here at the hospital.
"Go." The energy coming off of him was just so nauseatingly hostile. It wasn't that hard to be intimidated. Gathering my things, and without looking back, I ran out of there.
My lungs were burning, how could they not after running down three flights of stairs. Jeez, I really need to work on my stamina. "I don't know why you insist on coming in the morning. You know how he is." I take the offered beverage from my sister, finishing it quickly.
"I just wanted to see her, Setsuna." I honestly thought I would be able to pop in, talk to her a little bit and slip out before he would make his visit. I know, of course I know all too well that he will never love us the same again. Or should I say ever love me again, after all, I'm the reason we're in this mess to begin with.
Setsuna took my hand and I smiled at her, we were walking now, to our destination. We stopped infront of an older looking school, kids all around us were dropped off in lavish town cars, limos and such, their drivers or parents sending them off to another day in paradise. I felt my sister's grip squeeze bringing me back to the matter at hand. "See you at lunch, sister?"
Flashing her a smile I let out a small chuckle, "Yes."
As soon as I was able to close the door, I sat beside her, practically jumping for joy with news, "Mama, you won't believe the good news." I squirmed in my chair, unable to hold back any longer, "Setsuna made first chair!"
"That's amazing, Sweetheart." Her voice echoed in my ears, and it was as if by magic I could see here sitting up and clapping her hands together, joining me in my excitement for Setsuna's accomplishment.
"I heard that the instructor was blown away by her talent, it was really nice of Moe-Mama to teach her how to play." I placed my hand on hers and squeezed. It had been years since our supposed friends and family had stopped visiting. Setsuna had not been able to take a single step inside of the room since that unfortunate day. I wiped my eyes, clearing my throat while I was at it. "Oh! I joined the kendo team, they just have me cleaning the equipment right now, but I hope to be able to join in on the training soon."
My phone started to beep. It was Souta-Papa, asking if I was going to join them for dinner. Giving Mama a kiss good bye, I left the hospital. A chill ran up my spine and I sneezed, 'Oh, man, I better get home before I catch a cold.' I couldn't believe of all days I forgot my jacket today. It's probably still sitting there on my desk at home. Now is as good a time as any to focus on my stamina, one after the other, then pretty soon I was sprinting down the street. My thought's focused on just my breathing and the thrumming of my heart in my ears.
I flung open the door, when a small figure rushed me, gripping my shirt as they whined, "What took you so long? I thought we were gonna play as soon as I got home."
"I'm so sorry, Mei, I must've forgot." That's right, It completely slipped my mind that we had promised to play the night before. But honestly, her pouting game has gotten pretty perfect, she could probably ask someone for the shirt on their back and they would happily oblige. "What did you want to play?"
Ten hands of Uno and one brutal game of Monopoly later and I was ready to rip my hair out of my head. "How?! Tell me your secrets!"
"Never!"
"Girls, come wash up, dinner is ready." Souta-Papa popped his head into the living room, while Mei and I replied back in unison. We cleaned our mess as quickly as humanly possible and headed in the direction of the delectable scent.
We all gathered around the dinner table, Souta-Papa at the head, with Moe-Mama sitting opposite of him and Mei and I at either side. The pleasant scent awakening the hunger inside of my tummy. Grilled mackerel, fresh pickled daikon, and bowls of rice were all set for each person, but I could see that an extra large portion was set aside for me. Looking at the bowl of rice brought up an old memory of when I first came to the Higurashi household. Don't get me wrong, it was a pleasant one. It was just before Mei was born and just like now, we had all sat down for supper.
I had slowly finished my meal, but seeing as how in my family we all had huge appetites, Both Moe and Souta could practically hear my stomach growling for more food. From then on they always had a larger helping for me at the dinner table.
"How was school?" Souta-Papa took a big drink of his glass and Mei practically jumped out of her seat, she was so excited to share her day. She burned through the topic of her friends and classmates having art class outside, drawing flowers, and the different things they learned in their other subjects. I couldn't help but sigh in relief. The heat was off of me at least for the moment. In the middle of my bite of rice, Souta-Papa asked me the same question. I hit my chest, the food had gotten stuck, but shrugged. "It was fine, Souta-Papa."
"Just fine?" He asked, but with a shared look with Moe-Mama he let it go. He must've felt the shift in the air because shortly after, Souta-Papa changed the subject to how his day had gone.
"Thank you for the meal." I gathered my dishes and soaked them in the sink, bowing to my family, I took my leave. As soon as I was in my bed I let out a large sigh. The day had been much more exhausting than normal, my thoughts going back to the day before when he had caught me in Mama's room. 'Father...'
"Ma-Mama? Papa?" Little Towa woke up startled, her whole body ached, her bottom lip quivered. What are all these machines, god that smell? She covered her ears, the constant beeping of the heart monitor hurting her ears. "MAMA! PAPA!"
A loud thump sounded against the outside of her room. Rustling, someone screaming, She walked slowly to the door, the familiar cadence of her father's voice, but the tone... it scared her. "I said FIX HER!" She opened the door a crack to see her father holding the doctor by the collar of his shirt, up against the wall, the nurses just a few feet from them both trying not to agitate him further.
"I-It's as I said sir! Everything went well in surgery, we don't know why your wife isn't waking up now." Sesshomaru had his hand in the air as if ready to punch the incompetent man before him.
"P-Papa?" She asked in a small voice, his head whipped around, the pure unadulterated rage unleashed on poor young Towa.
I shot up from my sleep, cold sweat dripping down my face, heart racing as if I had just ran a mile as fast as I possibly could. His eyes flashed in my mind again. I doubled over and held my knees willing this to go away, wanting nothing more than for the nightmares to stop. 'It's okay... I'm okay... We're fine now.'
It had been exactly two weeks and one day since I was able to come here and be with her. "Hi, Mama." I moved a chair closer to her bedside, keeping my school bag close to my chest. A lump grew in my throat as I forced out my next sentence. "Forgive me for not coming every day like I promised. Life got a little busy." I focused on her sheets, and making sure that her pillows were fluffed, the memories of her fixing my hair, of her laughter, smiles, the kisses that I missed so much became too much for my heart. The lump in my throat swelled, as hot fat tears blurred my vision.
I rubbed my forearm against my eyes furiously doing my best to wipe away my sadness, but the loneliness, the fear of the unknown wracked my body. "Please, Mama... wake up. Setsuna needs you... I need you." My friends, they spoke of their families so fondly, the kids in the park that had their parents there if they ever had a bruise or something wrong with them. Why? Why did it have to be her?! "I should have never... You wouldn't be here if we never begged you." My voice cracked, seeing here there, just laying there and not moving nearly broke me all over again.
The door opened and the only other person who came in, save for the staff, made his presence known. I forced my tears down deep inside, the tale tale signs of my episode clear as day on my face. I wasn't about to let him say a damn thing so, grabbing my bag, I started for the door. I felt his thunder grip on my forearm, his only words: "How unbecoming of a Taisho."
Yes, okay, I was the failure of the family, I will never be able to live up to that prestigious name. I ripped my arm from his grip, "Then it's a good thing that I'm no longer a Taisho." The tension in the room grew thicker with each passing moment, He and I having a battle of the wills as neither was wanting to back down.
"Watch your tone, Girl."
Girl? Girl?! Did he seriously just fucking call me that? As if I was just no one to him. Of course I'm someone to him, the one responsible of his wife's condition. I turned away and slammed the door, willing myself not to think until I was safely away from the building.
Standing outside of the hospital, My tears fell, like the little traitors that they are. Fuck him. An old memory flashed infront of my eyes, It was fuzzy around the edges, I couldn't really see anyone's faces. It was back when Setsuna and I had just become three. Strong arms embraced me, the ghost of his chuckle rumbled in his chest, making it's way through mine by proxy. The only other thing... Daddy was happy. The warmth of his hand, those embraces...
I was lost in my my train of thought, or should I just say shit show? What the hell am I even doing here? At the other end of the theater I entered was Setsuna, and just the sight of her was enough to ground me. She was in a lesson and so I leaned against the wall, watching silently. The way she handled the instrument was art in of itself, the music dancing around the room, a sad sweet song.
"The girl belongs with her father!"
Impatient hard knocking on the door, Towa hid under the kitchen table covering her head, Moe-mama stood on the other end attempting to coax the little one out from under the furniture. Souta came out from his study, before he was able to walk any closer to the door, Towa gripped his pant leg tightly. "D-Don't go Souta-papa."
Souta turned a kind smile to the pretrified girl, he tousled her hair, "There's nothing to fear, Towa. Moe-mama and I will keep you safe." Towa hesitated, she was lifted off of the floor by Moe, who held her close. They both took refuge in the furthest room in their home.
Muffled noises, The stench of liquor... It sounded as if someone was having a heated argument. It wasn't long before Souta returned with a shiner on his left eye and blood dripping down from his mouth. He wiped it off and smiled brightly for his trembling ward who threw herself into his arms. "Souta-papa!"
"You never come to practice." I didn't even make any noise and you're telling me she was able to hear me sneak up on her? I don't know how she was able to do that, but that was beside the point. Nerves were getting the best of me, scratching my neck I managed to squeak out "What? How can you say that? I've come before." Oh, god, how do I turn myself off. The lilt of her laughter caught me off guard, and OW.
"Out with it, why are you here?" Rubbing my poor abused forehead, pouting even. We shared a look, and she was able to see just how broken I actually was. Do I tell her? When it comes to Mother, Setsuna would rather not hear it, as she's told me countless times before That person whom I visit is no longer the person we all love. And so, I told her and she did not disappoint and yet it seemed with all the garbage that had happened today, I seemed to still have some tears to spare. I clenched my fist, choking back a sob. Setsuna wrapping her arms tightly around me. "...Sorry..."
It was just another blissful day in suburbia for myself, here at school. Plently of people around to talk to and yet here I found myself fighting with humidity while polishing a pieceof armor for the kendo team. Regionals were just a few short weeks away and we had finally been able to get a coveted spot. I rubbed the spot furioiusly, when the captain startled me. Practically falling out of my seat, our Captain reached her hand out, helping me back. She was laughing, her guard slipping for a moment and softening the features of our beloved hardass.
We exchanged words, she poked the bear, all in good fun of course. I found myself admiring her features, the softness of her jaw, those stunning, rare lilac eyes, the way she chuckled when she knew one of her subordinates were being silly. Fujimoto-senpai helped me up to my feet
"How about a match?"
...What? Need I remind you that there is no, I repeat, no air conditioning in this room. But how could I refuse? We sat about ten feet away from eachother, both of us suited up from head to toe in the black armor, Fujimoto-senpai was wearing the one I just cleaned. It kinda made me smile a bit, Shaking my head I did my best to keep my head in the game, let's see. Shoulder width apart, make sure my elbows are level...shit no, that's baseball. Fujimoto-senpai had no trouble at all, stood with commanding grace, looking as if she were on the battlefield about to lay her life on the line for the last time, her sword taking the lead for her. I decided that the best stance for me would probably be to have both arms over my head, the foil was surprisingly heavy.
The only way I'll have any sort of chance against the captain is if I make the first move. Maybe.. there!
"Start!"
A blur, we both yelled at the top of our lungs, my foil was ripped out of my hands, and she with her's pointed at my neck. My eyes were glued to hers, I could feel my face beginning to heat up.
"Your footwork has gotten a little better."
"I still have a long way to go, Fujimoto-senpai. I couldn't even touch you!" She smiled, and blushed, I couild feel my own face reddening too.
With practice being over and finals nearing closer, I wouldn't be able to visit Mama as much as I would like. Lost in thought, I guess I was just trying to kill time before I had to go back and be chained to that damn desk.
"Higurashi, wait up!" That was the Captain's voice, turning around and sure enough there she was, waving me down. In the confusion of the moment, Fujimoto-senpai was able to swiftly close the gap between us.
"Captain, What's up?"
A swift smack on the back, for a short girl, she could really be heavy handed. "C'mon Higurashi, we're not in the dojo! Call me Sara."
"Uh, sure, Sara-senpai."
"That's the spirit. Hey, would you like to join me on an adventure?" I would love to join in, but I really need to study too, but it shouldn't be too bad, right? Souta-Papa and Moe-Mama are always on me about spending some time with kids my own age. Maybe I'll take their advice this time around.
I lost count at how many shops we visited, Sara-senpai even had me try on a few outfits, some masculine and some feminine. Like this particular dress, a soft lilac color, something like this was not all that suited for me, "This would look much better on you, Sara-senpai." I muttered meekly. "It matches your eyes." I ran back to the dressing room, changing back into my school uniform, when I returned, Sara-senpai was holding a flier. It was crumpled, as if she had shoved it into her bag several times over.
"What is that?"
"Ah, Higurashi, it's just something I've been wanting to do, but haven't been able to find the courage to go alone."
It wasn't long until we were inside of a cafe, two extremely attractive individuals were bowing and welcoming us home. The inside of the cafe practically gave me whiplash, you couldn't hear the goings on of the outside world, and although she had never been there before it felt just as welcoming as the Higurashi household. The male employee escorted us to our seats, Sara-senpai pulling ahead of him photographiong to her hearts content. She seemed super excited about visiting this place. I brought my hand to my lips covering the smile that made it's home on my face.
It must've been against the rules, Sara-senpai was apologizing for her actions, if she turned on the charm then it was probably... The butler's ears were red, he couldn't pull his eyes away from her, it seems she was able to get away with something once again. He handed us our menus, but I didn't bother. I didn't have much of an appetite right now. "Just a water for me, please."
Sara-senpai, with out missing a beat, had not opened her menu as well. "That won't do, Higurashi." She grabbed both of our menus and handed the m back to the gracious butler. "We'll take one of each dish and a pot of tea, your house blend, please." The employee bowed, leaving us both alone at the table as he probably got our order ready.
"Senpai, I can't it's too much."
Sara-senpai waved away my concern, but literally she just dropped a few hundred dollars on food for the both of us. "Don't mention it, Higurashi, I'm just glad that I'm able to enjoy it together with someone." The cafe was filled with a warm, refreshing scent, it would seem that our tea was ready to be served. Our cups were quickly, skillfully filled. My mouth watered and after just a taste I could feel the delicious earthy blend of tea, warming me inside and out, relaxing in our seats, Sara-senpai gossiped the night away.
It wasn't long after that our table was filled with cafe staples, the various dishes looked impeccable, not a single ingredient out of place, my stomach roared in complaint. Did Sara-senpai hear? Taking a peek at her. She simply smiled and told me to help myself and so we did.
I was only able to get a few bites in, when my phone vibrated beside me. "Hello, Setsuna?"
"You need to get down here."
"Wh-what? What are you talking about?" I felt as if my stomach had been twisted into a thousand consecutive knots. She hesitated on the other end of the line.
"I-It's Mother..." A shockwave, no, a bucket of ice water, yeah, that's the feeling. It had felt as if someone had cruelly dropped a bucket of ice water over my head. I sat there dubfounded, Sara-senpai must've been asking me something but I couldn't hear her.
"I... I-I have to go.." Grabbing my stuff and running out the door definitely do not mix, I was dropping shit all over the place, my hands were a shaky mess. I closed my eyes, steeling myself, breathe in, breathe out... yeah, just like Souta-Papa showed me.
My lungs were on fire, legs were burning, screaming from the crazy run I just put them through. There it was, Mama's Room... I opened to doors to find Him standing at her bedside, the doctor was infront of the machines he was going through the motions and it seemed as if he was going to turn off her ventilator. Anger from deep inside of me, bubbled to the surface, my voice for steady, "What the hell do you think you're doing?"
That son of a bitch didn't even take his eyes off of Mama to address me. "It is time..."
My body reacted before I was able to fully register what he had said to me. The palm of my hand hurt like a motherfucker, and His cheek showed signs of contact. "You fucking MONSTER." My hand raised in the air, and he stopped it, my wrist was hurting. He can't do this, I have to protect her. Mama! They got closer to her, pulling out the ventilator tube. He held me back, and I screamed "LET ME GO!" The noise, her heart slowed, until it just finally gave in. I couldn't even see her face clearly, she was gone and I was unable to tell her goodbye. I felt someone's unfamiliar grip tighten around me, they told me something, but my grief was too loud that I was unable to hear the words that were saying. I cried, and cried into their arms, How could you?! I'm so sorry, Mommy. Mommy...please... don't leave me. Please...
Sleep became increasingly hard to come by. That's what I kept telling myself, at least. But in reality, that night kept playing over and over in my head with no way to stop it. It didn't have to end up this way, if I had just been patient. Mama would have never been injured. If I had just been a good child Mama would have never been hit. If I had just paid attention maybe He would have never left us to fend for ourselves.
My spiral had been brought to a halt by a sweet, cautious little voice. "Towa nee-chan, will you eat with me?"
I couldn't answer her. I had no way of being able to answer her, though whatever she brought with her smelled pretty good. Tears of frustration prevented me from seeing her clearly. Her little arms wrapped around me, her little heart couldn't take much more she was doing her absolute best to hold back her tears, a sniffle or two escaping her. "Towa nee-chan, Mei knows you're hurting... Papa and Mama told me. Nee-chan..."
"Sorry, Mei." I held my pillow that I cradled closer to my person. "I'm not hungry right now." Mei was able to let me go long enough for her to clean her face with the sleeve of her dress. Souta-papa joined us a little after, he comforted Mei, gathering her and letting her little head rest on his shoulders.
"Mei worked really hard in making this for you." Souta-papa pet the top of my head, comforting me as best as he was able to. "Try to have a bite or two when you can."
Mei shoved her pinky finger in front of my face a stubborn watery pout to match, "Promise Mei, Promise that you'll taste Mei's cooking!"
I mustered the best smile I could and wrapped my pinky around hers, nodding. "I promise."
Souta-papa and Mei left my room, leaving me alone with my thoughts. Everything was crashing down at me at once, Mama was gone, and without her, we would all be going our seperate ways. I feel horrible and relieved at the same time. But above all else, just numb... I could feel my eyes growing heavier by the second, that little visit from Mei must've drained me of what little energy I had left.
I woke up in a familiar place, my head was resting against my arms, I stretched my arms high before laying my head on the cool countertop. It was then when I heard the skillful sounds of a blade chopping down and prepping various veggies. My eyes widened, it can't be.
"What is it, Sweetheart? Do I have something on my face?" She wiped her hands and made a silly face, one that I hadn't seen in ages. I could feel my tears running down my face, I made no move to hide them.
"No, Mama... I just... I've missed you." Mama made it around the kitchen counter, she was wearing normal clothes, her favorite outfit. In the same old hair style she loved to keep when she was busy making dinner. Mama placed her hand on my cheek, and I cried even more. I placed my hand on top of hers, leaning into the touch that I so craved all these years.
"I've missed you more, Love Bug." Mama wiped my face clean and I held her hands tighter, "Don't cry, Towa, I'll always be here..." She pulled her hands from my grip to gently touch my forehead, she then rested her entire hand on my chest, just over my heart. "And especially here."
We sat there, reminiscing, I caught up Mama on our activities, she chimed in when she could, reminding me that she had been listening always. I smiled like an idiot, I'm not sure how long we were there at the counter, but it wasn't as if either of us was in much of a hurry to leave.
Our conversation was cut short by a blinding light to my right, Mama got out of her seat, I could feel a knot at the pit of my stomach, I reached out desperately for her hand. "Mama, do you have to?"
"Oh, my love, I do, but don't worry Towa, you have your father and Setsuna by your side."
"He never cared!" Those pesky tears threatened to fall again as I angrly expressed my frustration. "He still blames us for what happened to you... I just know it." Mama touched the top of my head, the sensation didn't linger.
"Your father was never good at expressing himself, Towa" Mama's eyes darkened and her laugh sounded so lonely. "Oh, Love Bug, he cares for you so much. Broody Mc GrumpyPants just doesn't know how to show it." Mama held me, close. A hug I had almost forgotten. I wanted to hug her just as tightly, tighter even, but my arms were useless by my side. "Now you listen to me... what happened was an accident. It was nobody's fault."
The weight on my heart felt as if someone had just lifted it off even if just for a moment. My arms gripped her shirt, the scent of her favorite perfume permeated my senses in the best way. My head lay on her chest, it felt like home. Mama ran her hand through my hair, humming sweetly. Time felt irrelevant.
That blinding white light grew brighter pulsating with increasing demand. Mama whispered to me, kissing me on my forehead, and I panicked. It was a place that she only ever kissed when she was leaving home. "I'm so sorry, Towa... I have to go." I'm sure both of us were broken, just as the embrace was, Mama followed the light and I chased after. I was so close 'Just a little more' and she just disappeared.
"Mama!"
I gasped, sitting up in my bed. I could smell a familiar scent and scanned the room, holding out hope. 'Please...'
Mama was gone.
She'd never wake up again.
Spent, I walked over to the meal grown cold. They must've come into my room while I was asleep, because there were now two meals. I forced myself to take a swig of the porridge, I polished off the bowl, but my stomach still groaned in complaint. Finishing the second bowl, I brought my soiled dishes to the sink.
"Towa-nee-chan?" Mei was steadying herself against the door jam, she looked so precious in her little bunny footie pajamas, holding her teddy in one arm and rubbing the sleep from her eyes with the other. "Did you like it?"
"Yes, Mei. It was delicious." I mustered my best smile for her. Being half asleep was no handicap for Mei, not that it ever was, she closed the gap between us. Hugging my leg tightly, comforting me the only way she knew how.
My eyes never left her, even if she couldn't see me, In this sea of black I knew most of all what she meant. What kind of person she was. Setsuna touched my shoulder, He was on the other side of me.
A large portrait of Mama holding a sun hat at the top of her head, her large smile and eyes staring at the camera lovingly. Or perhaps not the camera, but the person behind it. The service was simple enough, I think. To be honest I can't remember much of it. A parade of people walked up to us after paying their respects to Mama.
"We're so sorry for you loss."
Liars.
"At least she can be at peace."
Shut up.
"She would be so proud of you."
SHUT UP!
They lowered Mama. I felt my stomach flip inside, in the worst of ways. "-owa?"
"Hhmmm?" Setsuna;s hand broke me out of my trance. "What did you say?" My gaze gravitated back to her. They just finished sealing her plot.
He stood just a few feet from the both of us. His melancholic frustration plain to see on his face now that everyone was gone but the four of us. Was that a smile? I shook my head, no it had to be my imagination. He took a step forward, a misstep? He checked behind him and on the floor, but he couldn't see. Mama placed a finger over her lips and with a final wink, she left.
I don't think anything would have prepared me for his next words. "Would you care to join me for lunch?"
This is hopefully the final addition to this fic. I'm grateful for those of you that took the time to read and get this far. Let me know what you think.