January
They had both promised no form of communication.
Still, Marinette's finger hovered over Adrien's contact information. She pressed on it and held her finger there. The call didn't go through. If she released her finger…
Shit, it was ringing now.
She immediately ended the call and sighed. He probably didn't see it. It was too quick for an actual call to go through.
Twisting the glass in her hand, she watched as the brown liquid swished from side to side. She sat it back on her bedside drawer. She wouldn't get that drunk. Just a little tipsy. See if she was really drunk, she wouldn't have hung up on Adrien.
A part of her wished she was that drunk. Just so she could hear his voice, if he answered, at that.
11 months.
God, it was only January and she was a mess. Nobody needed her in New York. It wasn't that nobody cared for her, but her company, MDC, had a life of its own. It had grown up and didn't need her help anymore. It ran like silk. All her workers knew what to do and she had put people in authority positions who she trusted and who had done what she asked.
She wished they didn't. But that was a stupid wish. Marinette placed her phone on her counter and rolled over, facing her closed curtains. It was the last view she saw before she fell asleep.
Her head pounded, the second she opened her eyes. The phone beside her was blaring some standard jingle, trying to wake her up for work. Well, she was now awake. Marinette threw an arm over her eyes and fumbled with her other for her phone. If she could just find the damn phone.
Her hand hit something hard and she pushed it away. Clink! There was the sound of glass hitting glass, and Marinette felt a rush of something wet hit her hand. Her alarm went silent. She scrambled up in bed and groaned when her eyes opened once again. Her counter was covered in alcohol, as her phone was. The liquid seeped into the cracks of the phone her clumsy self had dropped too many times. She snagged the phone and tried to dry it off with her bedsheets. Pressing the side button, Marinette groaned when the screen remained dark.
January
Adrien wasn't drinking when Marinette's contact briefly flashed across his phone. He wished he was. It felt like it though, his head spun and everything felt numb.
He was just about to call her but thought against it. Something sparked in him when he realized she did, but that died when she ended the call.
His phone lay on his kitchen table. The same table that Marinette had sat at nearly a month ago. Beside his phone was a letter. A cream-colored, crisp, letter.
From his father.
A stamped label from the penitentiary, his father's new home, lay in the upper left corner. He didn't know how his father found his new address, but Gabriel had his ways.
He didn't care all that much.
Adrien purposely lost all contact with his father the second he was arrested and put behind bars. The letter remained flat on his table. He didn't dare open it, read the, "I'm so sorry, son," or maybe the, "You can finish what I started." Both options made him want to throw up.
Adrien knew he should call Marinette, she would know what to do, how to respond. She was there, when they discovered Hawkmoth's identity, when they defeated him, the trial when he was sentenced to life, all of it. Only she knew what he may be feeling.
So when he saw her contact breach his phone, he had hope. But then it was gone and his stomach sank. Mentally, he was kicking himself for asking Marinette to keep their relationship a Christmas-only situation. No communication until Christmas. Then, it seemed to be a great idea. Clearly thinking, he didn't expect him and Marinette to get back together. But now he was one month in and had realized how stupid he had been. No one understood like her.
June
The air was warm, and the snow was gone when Kagami confronted him, envelope in hand.
"This is from your father?" Her eyebrows were raised and she held a hand on her hip.
He scratched his head and peered up at her. The stamp in the corner had lost its mark, but the word 'penitentiary' still remained.
"Where'd you get that?"
Kagami shrugged. "The kitchen while looking for cups. It was on top of a bunch of other stacks of paper."
Adrien ran a hand over his face. "And you couldn't just leave it? Avert your eyes?"
"Why didn't you open it? It's not like he could do anything to you."
Adrien walked over to the couch and took a seat. "I just don't want to hear anything he has to say."
"It's a letter, Adrien, a piece of paper. You're not even talking to him. He doesn't even know you have the letter."
"I know," his head was in his hands. Kagami was right, but still.
"So open it."
"You don't get it, Kagami." She frowned. The letter lay at her side now.
"Yeah?" She asked.
Adrien stood. "No shit, yeah. Your mom wasn't some supervillain that wreaked havoc on a city because they wanted to kill the person you were in love with just so they could bring back your dead parent."
Kagami's lip pressed into a small line. "My mother was akumatized though, she wreaked havoc then."
"Kay, it's not the same. My father did that. Akumatized your mom. Akumatized the whole damn city." His voice came out in a whisper.
"Adrien," Kagami called. "Adrien." He looked at her. "Maybe it's a good thing I don't get it. 'Cause here I am telling you to open this damn letter instead of telling you, it's okay, and open it when you're ready. Cause that," she aimed the letter at him, "is bullshit."
Adrien didn't say a word.
"Your father sucks. Sucks. But he's still your father. No one said you had to go visit him. Read the damn letter. Throw it away if you want when you're done. But at least read it. He's the only family you've got left, even if you don't see him like that. But you have this power. The ability to read and never have him know. He rots in the cell all alone. But you, you're here and there's nothing he can do but sorrily write letters in hopes that you'll hear him. But you have the power to choose what happens next. You're in control." Kagami smiled softly at him before she dropped the letter on the coffee table and left.
Adrien stared at the letter. The fireplace was inches away. He could toss it in and tell Kagami he had read it and didn't care what his father had to say to him. He could lie to her face if he wanted. But that made him like his father-full of lies. Kagami just wanted what was best for him.
He picked up the letter and ripped it open. The handwriting was scrawled in his father's loopy cursive. His fists clenched the paper, nearly crumbling it. He didn't read it all and skimmed through the words.
There was an, I'm sorry, but also, an, I don't regret it. Then there was a, I'm disappointed and a, I'm all you have left. To his surprise and disappointment, there was also a mention of Marinette. I heard about your breakup from the designer. Another, I'm sorry, was fit in there and, one that made his grip on the paper tighten, we're similar in a way. Who am I without your mother? Who is Chat Noir without Ladybug?
Adrien paused and inhaled. Upon exhaling, he loosened his grip on the paper. He was near the end.
Visiting times are on Saturday from 4-6 p.m. You can always make an appointment whenever you want and we can talk.
We can talk. As if there was anything to talk about. He hadn't seen his father in years. He had heard from him, through his countless letters that no one, minus Kagami now, knew about. Adrien didn't know if he would be ever ready to talk.
What do you talk about with your father who became a supervillain in order to mess with life and death?
Sure, Kagami was right in her own way, but Adrien didn't entirely want to follow it. He wanted someone walk through this with him and not push him headfirst into the deep end. Someone who truly understands the situation. But that someone was a world away- physically. Adrien kicked himself again for his stupid rule. But Marinette hadn't breached it. The relapse in January was as close as he got to hearing her voice.
Screw it .
Adrien convinced himself that the only reason he was calling and breaking his/their no contact promise was because he needed to talk to someone who understood this situation. The fact that he also needed to hear Marinette's voice for the first time in months just happened to be a problem solved simultaneously.
Adrien scrolled through his contacts till he reached Marinette's. He hesitated before giving it his all and pressing call. His phone rang once before it automatically went to voicemail. He hung up and tried again. This same situation happened.
This couldn't be happening. Marinette had either blocked him or lost her phone. But either way, she was taking this "do not call" situation very seriously. And he hated her for that and himself for making her go along with it.
June
"Everything is set, Madame Dupain-Cheng." Her assistant handed her the clipboard and Marinette double-checked everything.
"Let the show begin, then." Marinette smiled and signed her approval on the sheet. Work had sprung back to life during the spring/summer New York fashion week. It was a blessing in disguise.
Her assistant nodded and left her to be on the side of the runaway. Marinette heard her call, "Okay, models, are we in order? We have a runway to strut!"
Marinette beamed as she heard the cheers from the dressing rooms. This was her art, her craft, her heart. A small voice in her head made note of the silence around her.
No one to share this with…
But that disappeared, for Marinette reminded herself she had made six months without him, and she'd make six months more. Also, the runaway lights sparked to life, and the music began.
Showtime.
Her spring and summer designs flowed miraculously as if they were hand-crafted by Mother Nature herself. The camera lights were bright and the cheers rang through the building. Pride flowed through her veins. When the time came for her appearance, her assistant followed her out, and a few of the models handed her a bouquet. Red roses. She was reminded of a time long ago when things in a way were simpler than they were now. She stood by herself this time, no longer accompanied by a certain blonde, who promised to stand by her side through anything.
It would be okay. She waved and beamed, tears flowing down her cheeks. A series of mixed emotions, of which she would always claim they were nothing but happy tears of course.
The lights and the music died as everyone went home. She drank her champagne and congratulated everyone, who in turn said it was all her, not them who deserved the credit. Later, Marinette locked the building's doors with a sigh, rubbing her hands over her arms, despite it being warm enough to walk in shorts and a tank top.
Now what?
July
"What if we expanded the company's reach?" Marinette brought herself out a quick daydream and glanced at a company worker who had proposed the idea. She didn't even need to be at this meeting but was only present at her own insistence.
Life had returned to her tired body. "You know, I've been thinking the same thing, lately. Somewhere international. I'll pitch it to the board."
A team member piped up, "Where exactly would we be expanding to, Madame Dupain-Cheng?"
Marinette gleamed, her smile truer than it had been in months, "Paris, of course. The fashion capital of the world."
December 1
When the same contact led to the same voicemail box and dead toned voice telling him, "This customer is no longer in service," Adrien pushed down his frustration and made an impulsive decision.
Adrien held his phone, "Would you come with me today?"
Kagami's voice filled his ear, "Of course, Adrien."
The letter resided in his coat pocket, a small item that felt like a million bricks. He'd blame it for his slow steps to the penitentiary. Kagami was beside him, her arm interlaced with his.
The guard let them in and, both of them had to undress to their primary layers as they were searched for contraband materials. The metal detector cleared them and suddenly everything felt so real. The guard reached to open the door to the inhabitants and Adrien held up his hand.
"Wait."
A window prevented the inmates from seeing them, but he could very well see his father. Adrien couldn't read him. He looked terrible, but also fine at the same time. His pale hair was neatly combed, but dark bags lay under his eyes. His prison attire was neatly ironed, but his glasses were gone.
"Adrien?" Kagami called him.
"Mar-," he stopped himself before he could finish. It didn't look like Kagami knew what he planned to say.
"My father," he corrected, "looks different."
"I mean, he's been living here for several years so," Kagami rubbed his arm, "you probably shouldn't expect the best."
It hit him.
He couldn't do this with Kagami here. He should've waited. He needed someone else. And that someone else was an ocean away. Kagami didn't understand, and that wasn't her fault. It was his for bringing her into it. It was Marinette's for, he didn't know what yet, but a part of him was angry at her.
Kagami wouldn't understand that when he saw his father, he saw someone he had never actually known. Yes, he'd grown up with this man, but this man was manipulative and deadly. He killed people for God's sake. Was this the same man? If anything, Adrien was scared. His father looked well-kept. Did that mean he wasn't remorseful? He looked partially tired. Did he regret it? He wasn't up for answering those questions today. No, not without Marinette. Marinette knew everything. Marinette, who wasn't here.
He wouldn't hurt Kagami.
"I don't think I can do this today." He turned away from the door and walked out of the penitentiary.
Kagami trailed behind him, "Adrien, wait. Why don't you just-"
Adrien swiveled, trying to keep his voice calm. "Kagami, could we maybe just talk about this at home? I just can't be here right now."
She froze and her raised eyebrows. "Of course."
They were half a block from his front door when Kagami stopped and stood in front of him.
"I'm sorry if you thought I was pressuring you, back there. That's not what I meant. I was just trying to help-"
Adrien shook his head, silencing her. "I know, Kay. It's okay. I guess I wasn't ready."
Kagami exhaled and her breath turned to fog before him. "Can I tell you something?"
Adrien peered at her. She continued, "I want you to know that you can always count me, Adrien. And you probably already know that, but I just wanted to reassure you that I'm here. You can talk to me, tell me anything. What's in your head, and all."
Adrien smiled, "Thanks, Kay, I really appreciate you for that."
She returned the gleam, a twinkle in her dark eyes. "You're welcome."
She took a step toward him and reached for his cheek. She clasped it softly and felt the heat from her palm mingle with his cold cheek. Adrien's gaze lingering on hers was her last sight before her eyelashes fluttered closed and she rose to meet him. Movement sounded from behind her and her palm was empty. Adrien had turned swiftly, sending a wave of cold air toward her. She was wide awake now and sidestepped around Adrien to follow his gaze.
Marinette stood on his front doorstep, boring her eyes in his. He couldn't translate the meaning of her gaze as she glanced between the two of them.
December 1
Marinette had come home early. A whole 22 days give or take, early. She couldn't help it. Her hands itched for his touch, her body ached for his presence. She had suffered long enough, and maybe now would be a good time to tell him the news.
MDC was expanding. Expanding their reach into Paris.
Maybe he'd accept her now, especially now that she had a reason to stay.
But right now, watching Kagami rise on her toes to kiss Adrien, Marinette didn't feel like she should stay. Voices in her head agreed and disagreed with that. Adrien caught her gaze and said her name. She didn't know what to do. He drifted away from Kagami and walked slowly to her.
"You're here early."
"Yea," Marinette's voice was soft and full of vulnerability.
Kagami followed Adrien until she stood by him, "It's a surprise to see you, Marinette."
That was putting it nicely.
"You too, Kagami." The girl nodded curtly at her.
"So," Marinette shoved her freezing hands into her pockets. "What have you two been doing?"
"Just hanging out," Adrien said at the same time Kagami said, "A lot of stuff."
Adrien glanced at her and gave her a weird look as if he thought she had told a strange joke. "Little errands here and there," he clarified.
"Oh, okay." Marinette had no idea what to expect next. Were the three of them simply going to sit out here in the cold?
Adrien spoke up, but not to her. "Kagami," he said, "thanks for walking me back. I appreciate it and you."
Marinette smiled at Adrien as he spoke and noticed Kagami's icy exterior melt a bit.
Adrien returned his gaze to her and Marinette watched as Kagami's face fell and then hardened.
Adrien took a step toward her, "Marinette, I-"
Kagami interrupted, "Let me know the next time you want to see your father again, Adrien. I'll be here." She turned a heel on her boot and left.
Adrien and Marinette froze. The air between them now was not only cold but full of questions and hurt.
"Your father?" Marinette whispered.
Adrien sighed and stared at the icy sidewalk. He didn't want to talk about this now.
"Can we go inside?" He watched Marinette, waiting for her response. She nodded curtly and he caught her wiping her cheeks before she turned to his door.
"It's open," he called.
Marinette whipped around and Adrien got a quick glance of her features. Her cheeks were rosy but damp, her hair was tousled with frays sticking out, but her eyes were a cloud of emotions Adrien couldn't decipher.
"Why?" Marinette asked. "People could break in or something."
Adrien made sure to hold eye contact with her as he said, "It's December."
Marinette closed the door behind her and relished in the warm heat of Adrien's apartment. Few decorations were up a few Christmas lights here and there, and a bare tree with a box of bulbs beside it. Her bones were shivering from standing out there for so long. Adrien strode into the kitchen, and Marinette heard him turn on the stove.
Tea, she hoped, if he had read her mind well.
"I put some tea on," Adrien said as he returned to her.
Marinette smiled and her heart fluttered. She still leaned against the back of his door, anxious and awkward. It had been so long, did he still feel the same?
Adrien slowly walked toward her, stopping when his shoes toed hers, and Marinette sucked in a breath.
"I missed you," he spoke quietly.
Marinette felt tears spring to her eyes. Sad and happy tears both. She missed him so much over this past year, so much her heart broke and melded itself right here and now.
"I love you," she replied as the tears started to flow.
Adrien bowed his head and cupped her cheeks with his palms. He brought his lips close to her cheeks and briefly glanced at her, asking if this was okay. Marinette nodded. His lips brushed her cheeks as the tears rolled down, and he kissed them away one by one, muttering sweet words of care in between.
There's no way she could keep doing this.
Marinette awoke to a lonely but slept in bed. Adrien wasn't there, but his shirt and her sweater were both on the floor. Marinette burrowed her face in his pillow, smelling Adrien's scent. The sound of footsteps up the stairs had her scrambling upwards. The sheets fell from her body and she scoured the room for a top. A dresser stood beside the bed and Marinette grabbed the first shirt atop it- a grey shirt with some sort of action figure on it.
Adrien nudged open the door slowly and peered inside. When he saw she was awake, he strode in confidently with a tray in his hands.
"The tea cooled, so I reheated it again. I hope that's okay." He set the tray down on the dresser and crawled into bed with her. He took in her appearance and laughed.
"What?"
"You're wearing my shirt."
"Yes, and?" Marinette wasn't understanding something.
"Well, I meant to say you're wearing our shirt."
Marinette raised her eyebrow and studied the shirt she was wearing.
It was a Ladybug and Chat Noir shirt.
Marinette scooted away from him on his bed. "Why the heck do you have a shirt with our faces on it?" She tried sounding as serious as possible.
"Well, because, my lady," he crawled toward her, "I'm a big fan of those superheroes. Ladynoir all the way." His hand reached out and snagged her to him. Marinette screamed and tried to escape.
Adrien held her and smiled. "Don't try to escape me, Bug. You're mine for life."
For life.
The words imprinted themselves on her mind and replayed over and over.
For life, for life, for life.
"For life?" She wondered aloud, hoping her voice didn't sound too full of hope and ignorant of reality.
Adrien didn't seem to notice. "For life," he assured her.
They sipped tea in his bed and somehow managed not to leave a stain on his white sheets.
"So tell me," he starts, "how has your year been?" He looks at her with interest and awe, as if she has the sun and the moon up in New York, but that's a lie. The sun and the moon have always been here.
She tries to find the words that showcase that she's been fine with all of this, but she can't. She tries for a vague truth, "Uneventful, really. Boring even. Fashion shows have run smoothly. In fact," she states, "everything has been running smoothly. It's almost as if they don't need me there anymore."
She hopes he interprets that as an opening. A way for him to press on that thought, so she can expand on it.
"I'm sure you're wrong about that. How would the fashion world function with Marinette Dupain-Cheng?" It's rhetorical, but she knows the answer.
It would function just fine.
She holds off on the expansion news though, as they have all month to update each other.
"What has your year been like?" She knows she shouldn't press on that subject, but they've danced around it for far too long.
"Like shit," Adrien says, running a hand through his hair.
Marinette slides over closer to him and rests a hand on his knee.
"Kagami said you went to see your father." Marinette tried to leave all the resentment and hurt out of her voice.
Adrien felt her rejection and met her gaze. "I couldn't. We didn't. I couldn't do it with her, without you."
Marinette nods and reaches to lay her teacup on the dresser. She returns to him and wraps her arms around his neck.
"I'm sorry," she whispers into his neck. "I shouldn't have left."
Adrien shakes his head. "You had to leave."
Marinette bites her lip because that's not true. She doesn't need to. But this moment isn't about her, it's about him.
"If you ever want to try again," she trails off and he understands.
"If I ever see him again, I only want you there." Marinette nods and pulls him toward her again. Adrien presses a kiss to her forehead as they rest in each other's embrace.
The gloomy, grey penitentiary stared at them as they stood before it hand in hand. Adrien's face glazed over, so Marinette gave him a couple of squeezes to bring him back. He shook himself and stared at her, the ghost of a smile coming and leaving his face.
"You want to do this?" She asked, noticing the uncertainty in his face.
Adrien shrugged, "Now or never." He pulled her toward the doors.
"He's waiting over there," the guard pointed to the pale man with gray, dried hair and a wrinkled face through the window. He unlocked the door and opened them for Adrien and Marinette.
The guard did a once over. "You're," he seemed to recognize the two of them, but Adrien pulled Marinette through the doors quickly to avoid any more confrontation.
His father didn't look up till they stood in front of his table. He scanned Adrien's grimace and Marinette's mouth pressed in a straight line. Her hand on Adrien's arm seemed to hold him back from lashing out.
"Take a seat, if you please," Gabriel said.
The two of them sat across from the man who single-handedly almost tried to ruin them and Paris. The air was taut and Marinette wondered who would make the first move.
Adrien did. "Father," he stated, "how have you been?" His voice carried frustration and Marinette could tell he still clung to his anger. This wasn't off to a good start.
Gabriel accepted the low blow and answered, "I've been alright. Miss the mansion though."
Adrien's jaw tightened then relaxed as if realized something. "It's been burnt down, all of it. Everything to ashes."
Gabriel looked away and stared at the glass that he couldn't see out of, but others could see in.
"I heard that. What a shame."
"A proper funeral for Mom occurred." Marinette remembered. She was there.
Gabriel's mouth formed a taut line. He directed his attention to Marinette.
"How is the designing world, Miss Dupain-Cheng," he quickly glanced back at Adrien, "It is still Miss Dupain-Cheng, right?"
Adrien glared and Gabriel seemed to accept that as the answer.
"It moves along," was all Marinette said.
"She works in New York now. Her own company," Adrien said. He squeezed her hand under the table.
"And what does that do with the two of you?" Gabriel appeared truly interested. "I thought I heard of a break-up a year or so back."
Marinette wondered what Adrien would say. They weren't together, but they were together. Just not like before.
"Marinette and I are doing just fine," was all Adrien said.
Gabriel nodded. "Not together," he stated. "Over five years and still not married, hmm."
Marinette felt as if the ring around her neck had grown cold.
"Still living in different cities-different countries, at that. You haven't grown up at all, have you?"
Adrien's grip on her hand tightened as well as his jaw. She saw anger in his eyes.
Gabriel pressed, "Over 15 letters I've written you, son, and you decided to show up now."
15 letters?
"Let's go, Marinette," he said, sliding out from the table. "This was stupid." They turned toward the door.
"Wait!" Gabriel called out, his head in his hands. "I apologize. To the both of you. It wasn't my place."
Adrien dropped her hand and strode to his father. "It wasn't your place. But still, you made it your place. You have no right to suddenly barge into my life and demand answers. Answers that you don't deserve."
Gabriel stood up and the chains on his feet clanged together. "I apologize, son, I do. I was out of line and I understand why you are upset. I will make no further comments about you and Miss Dupain-Cheng's relationship."
"Oh, I know you won't," Adrien said, "because we won't be coming anymore."
Gabriel's face fell for a second, but he remained stoic and kept his composure. "I don't believe you, but say as you will if you must. Sooner or later you'll realize that we're all that's left," Gabriel glanced at Marinette, "and soon enough it'll just be you, son."
Marinette strode to Adrien's side and held his hand. She eyed Gabriel up and down. "You, Gabriel, are all alone. Adrien is loved. You made your decision. And that's how it will be for the rest of your miserable life."
Marinette turned to go and Adrien started to follow before he turned around again.
"It's not "son". I'm not your son anymore. We may be related through blood and DNA, but that's all it will ever be. I don't why I came here expecting a changed man. You're the same pathetic soul who sold countless lives to bring back my mother. And I think if she saw you right now, she'd be disgusted."
Marinette watched as Gabriel flinched and his body tightened. Adrien turned away again and out of the door before he could see his father's reaction. Marinette followed.
Adrien remained silent the rest of the way home. When Marinette closed the door behind them, he turned to look at her. His face was wrecked. She opened her arms and he clasped her to him. Sobs wracked his body, and he gripped her like a lifeline.
Marinette replayed the events earlier in her mind. So, this was what he was going through. She didn't know Gabriel had tried to reach Adrien earlier. She wondered how earlier. Why he didn't tell her. It hurt, but she knew she was most likely at fault.
Adrien's sobs seemed to die down, and he pulled away from her.
"I'm sorry," he said.
Marinette reached to cup his face. "Don't be." She gently pressed a kiss to his lips.
Adrien trudged to the couch where he took a seat. Marinette followed him. They basked in the silence and blinking holiday decorations for a few minutes before Marinette asked, "You'd been going through this all alone." It was more of a statement than a question.
Adrien rested his face in his hands. She heard shaky breaths coming from him.
"Yes."
"Why?" She reached to rub a hand on his back. He flinched. "You know you can always tell me those things, right? I don't want you to be alone."
Maybe it was visiting his father. Maybe it was the unnecessary insinuation that Adrien didn't have his life together. Maybe it was the ticking countdown in his head reminding him that Marinette was due for New York soon, and he wouldn't see her for another year. Maybe it was the fact that he was no realizing how stupid their arrangement was. Perhaps it was several countless things that Adrien had pushed down year after year that bubbled and burst right then.
Adrien stood and peered down at Marinette. "But I am alone, Marinette. You're never here 11 out of the 12 months. And I've tried, but you're also unreachable at that," Marinette opened her mouth, but Adrien spoke before she could utter a word, "My so-called father is in prison, my mother is dead, Plagg and Tikki are gone, and our friends have moved on with their lives. But I'm still stuck here. Dealing with Hawkmoth crap and with us."
Marinette flinched and gazed up at him. Her eyebrows furrowed briefly before tears started to fill in her eyes. She stared at the floor. "I'm sorry I'm such a bother."
Adrien almost sat back down and comforted her. He didn't mean that at all. Everything was just too much right now. He tried to take it back, but the attempt was half-hearted.
"It's not that you're a bother, Marinette. It's just that we're not working anymore. We have been together for over five years and our relationship has gone nowhere. You come down here once a year, roll around a few times with me, and then leave." Marinette flinched as if he had slapped her. "We don't talk throughout the year and the cycle repeats itself. Breaking up officially has changed nothing!" Adrien felt his voice climbing and he paused for a second to stare at Marinette, whose tears were streaming down her face.
He regretted it now, truly. He started to bend down to say something, but Marinette stood from her spot on the couch, tears glimmering in the holiday lights.
"Let me remind you that this," Marinette gestured between them, "was your idea. Your idea to start this back up again."
"You showed up at my house that year! You keep coming back!" His voice was snappy and he watched as Marinette's face cycled through a loop of anger and hurt. "What was I supposed to do?" He whispered.
"Tell me! You bottle all this crap up until it unleashes itself like this! I love you, Adrien. And if you don't want to love me anymore, tell me. But don't blow up at me like this saying I never call because it was your idea to withhold contact. God forbid I respect your wishes."
Adrien glared at her and mumbled, "God forbid, I hope the love of my life would see through my facade."
Marinette flashed him an angry look as well. "God forbid, my phone breaks and I don't bother to replace it because the only person I ever would've talked to doesn't want to hear my voice."
They were at each other's throats.
Adrien opened his mouth, "God forbid-"
Marinette shook her head. "Can we just stop," she nearly screamed, "This argument is so stupid. I come here to make this work because I know I didn't try as hard as I should have a long time ago, and I'm sorry for that. But the more I try, it's as if you don't want me to. You're mad that I'm never here, but you push me away, Adrien. Do you want me to stay? You never ask me to and it's if," she trailed off.
"Do you think even if I asked you, you would even do it?" Adrien exasperation bleeds through his question.
"Of course I would. That's why I'm here. I want to stay. With you. Here." Marinette nodded her head and stepped toward him.
Adrien took a step back and watched as Marinette's face fell. "You can't, though," he whispered.
"Why?" Marinette's voice was full of frustration. "You see what I mean, Adrien? You're so wishy-washy. You can't say that you want me here and then say-"
"I'm wishy-washy?" Adrien shook his head. "I want you here, Marinette, I do. You can't stay because you won't stay. You always say you'll stay, Marinette, and you do for a couple of days, but then something would happen- designs are due, meetings must be met, and I'd wake up all alone with a note on my dresser and you on the next flight to New York. That hurt, Marinette. It still hurts. And I understood-still understand," he dared to glance at Marinette's face, which had heartbreak written all over it, "but I, I don't think I can deal with that anymore."
"Adrien," she whispered. "I'm sorry."
Adrien shrugged. "Sometimes I blame you," Marinette frowned, "and sometimes I don't."
"I regret those times so much. But now, I haven't even been that busy. I can come back. We're expanding-"
Adrien cut her off, "Which requires a lot of work. The reason we're going in circles is because there's no way out. We have had years to try."
"What about one more year?"
"Marinette," Adrien sighed and took a seat on the couch. He placed his head in his hands.
"No, Adrien, please." Marinette sat beside him and placed a hand on his knee. "You say you can't trust my words and that's my fault. But trust my actions. You just have to wait for them. Please. Please wait."
Adrien shook his head. His hands were becoming wet from his tears. "I can't. I can't keep dragging us through the mud. This isn't working."
Marinette shook her head. "No, please, Adrien. Wait. Please." She placed her hand over his and tried to pull his gaze to hers. "Tell me you'll wait. Don't do this now, please. I can't lose you again."
Adrien slowly pushed her away, "Marinette-"
She abruptly stood up and removed something from her neck. She crumbled it in her fist and shoved it into his hands. He clasped it with an inkling of what it might be.
"Keep this and wait for me, Chaton." Marinette brushed a kiss on his knuckles and stood. She scoured the room for her sparse belongings, found them, and opened his door. He watched her turn back and mouth, "Wait," before closing it behind her.
Adrien opened his fist to find a silver necklace chain. He peered in the center of the crumbled platinum and felt his heart clench. A gleaming silver ring with tiny decorated ladybugs around it lay in his palm, the band warm from resting over his lady's heart.
end of year three