Hello again...
We are in the month of July and also in the middle of this year and we are still in a pandemic. Aren't you surprised by what happened this year? Well, I am no longer surprised by what happens in the world for the first time, I am focused on something much better. I also took advantage of these last few days to see the movie that I had been waiting for so long to see "The Boss Baby 2" I really liked that I felt very identified with Tim, despite being an adult and father of two girls. , his imagination has not disappeared. I also saw the movie "Luca" that left me a nice message about the friendship and interests of each one (I did not understand why many people consider Luca and Alberto as homosexual couples if they are only children with the interest of knowing the world) silence Bruno! I can't stop thinking about that part of the movie.
Anyway, I already told you what I did these weeks so I bring you the latest episode of Jaqui with the special group. Now if I focus on Blu and Jewel after this post
With nothing more to say I'll let you read chapter 20
This is me
(Two days later)
"And now Matthew's father knows that he is gay and instead of reacting in a disappointing way I accept his son as he is, although the mother disappointed me in that chapter I assumed that he would support his favorite son," said Martín in a series that he I had seen, entering the classroom with Jaqui
"That must have been painful" Jaqui replied taking a seat
"I wish my father was like that boy, we would understand each other better and share many things" Martin realized that his friend was not paying attention to him since she was very thoughtful "hey what's up, you've been very quiet and that's not normal with you"
"I'm worried about my friend Blu" confessed Jaqueline
"The dead boy?"
"He is not dead, he alone had a strong blow to the head" clarified the Spix woman, trying not to raise her voice
"Uhhhh ... someone is in love" replied Martin with a mischievous voice giving his friend a nudge.
"What?... you're crazy I don't like Blu at all!" Jaqueline denied trying not to shout in front of the others
"And who said he was referring to Blu?"
"I am not attracted to ok ... I still do not discover what kind of sexual attraction I want"
"Okay, reserved woman as soon as you stop thinking about Blu, tell me" Martin continued with his game, teasing Jaqui for what he had said.
"Guys, I have good news and bad news for you," Soledad interrupted, entering the classroom. "The good news is that the director liked our ideas for the Valentine's festival and the bad news is that the sex class is suspended because we will receive another new boy in the group."
"Another new guy?" I speak tiny in a low voice
"Thanks to Christ the redeemer that we will not talk about sex" I celebrate Tomada in a low voice
"So today we will share what we did on vacation so that our new member feels comfortable" announced the teacher the new activity of the day
"But we always share our activities on Tuesdays and Thursdays," Vicky commented.
"Do you want to talk about feelings or sex?" Angel whispered in the ear of the cardinal, who in response remained silent since it was a subject that not all adolescents dare to talk about.
"It's okay Jerry, you can come in now" Soledad asked the boy to come into the classroom
"Jerry?" Jaqui and Tiny were surprised to hear the name
"Do you know him?" Martin asked after hearing Jaqui's astonishment.
"He's a student from my previous group" Jaqui replied looking at the nymph cockatoo entering the room "What is that smug fool doing here?"
"Guys, this is Jerry and he will be with us from this day on" Soledad introduced the nymph cockatoo to all of her students.
"Hello" all the students greeted and Jerry responded by waving his hand
"Okay Jerry due to your arrival today we will not do anything, we just relax so you can meet everyone"
(voice of Jaqui)
Jerry never turned out to be a disabled or sick child (at least that's how I saw it), much less a troubled kid like Nigel. His eyes showed that he was nervous and uncomfortable but I don't blame him, that's how I felt when I got to the special group.
"After several days taking care of my neighbor's cat, I received candy as a reward when I was actually waiting for cash to buy the shiny boots I saw downtown," a black cockatoo with vocabulary difficulties (to be revealed later) spoke with a small weight overdose "so if you want to help the elderly, think about it because even the elderly themselves can be stingy"
"Great story Raquel, although from my point of view it was not bad for you to take care of that little animal" Soledad answered after listening to her student's story while the others laughed silently at what her partner had told her "Okay, who wants to continue? Do you want to be the next Jerry? "
"Did I really want to know, why do they do this kind of thing?" asked the cockatoo that has been quiet since he entered the class
"It is up to each of us to learn from each other," replied the teacher in a calm voice.
"Yes, I know but ... why do we have to tell our private things that it is very personal, don't you think?"
"It helps us to feel better and at the same time to think that we all make mistakes no matter how much we have or do not have a difficulty" Martín answered the question of the new boy.
"Exactly Martin because not all of us are perfect" Soledad concurred "our achievements and mistakes make us learn more things for example ... what activity do you love to do?"
"None" Jerry answered
"And you don't have any hobbies ...
"Teacher with all due respect I think this is very uncomfortable" Jerry confessed "not everyone feels comfortable talking about her private life"
(voice of Jaqui)
Jerry's words made the rest of the group feel offended, I understand that it is not easy to talk about your problems but now that I knew Sol and the other boys I changed my way of thinking. Hours later it was time for lunch no one wanted to approach Jerry everyone looked at him with contempt after what he said everyone focused their eyes on the bitter nymph cockatoo
"What does that boy think, how dare he judge Sol's education" Angel criticized the behavior of the new student who was away from everyone else enjoying his breakfast
"I understand that they are upset but I don't blame him" Jaqui answered "when I got here I felt uncomfortable it is not easy to change the environment"
"We all feel uncomfortable entering another group, Jaqui, but judging a teacher that you hardly know is not correct," Jenny replied, taking a little of his juice
"They know I'll go talk to him" she gets up from her seat taking her plate of food.
"Is seriously?" the toucan asked, still annoyed by what had happened while the others were amazed by Jaqui's decision
"I don't know about you guys but Jerry has a very sexy chest, will he exercise?" asked Martin discreetly looking at the body of the nymph cockatoo
"Here we go again" whispered Tomada when she saw another of her friend's flirtations
"Hi Jerry, do you mind if I sit here with you" Jaqui asked before taking a seat with the cockatoo
"What are you doing, Monroy?" Jerry asked with a bit of seriousness
"I understand that it is not easy to be here" he sits in front of him "when I arrived I was not taking with anyone from ...
"I'm not like them" interrupted the cockatoo showing his serious side "just because I suffer from epileptic seizures means that I am abnormal"
"You are not abnormal, you just need ...
"Help?... Ha ... I don't need help with anything because I have no defects" she bites the sandwich they had given her for breakfast to show that she was not weak
"So why did they send you here in the first place?" Tiny asked entering the conversation.
"They know it is better that I get out of this madhouse" she gets up and walks away from the place "I can't tolerate being locked up and quiet"
"You can't leave without permission from ...
"School is for everyone Tiny, that's why they put it in public" Jerry got tired of hearing more rules
"But…
"There are no private groups, just different boys with different minds and I will not be the exception" were the last words of the cockatoo and he left the cafeteria.
(voice of Jaqui)
Jerry's words silenced everyone in the dining room, even I was thoughtful, it is true that the school is public but not everyone accepts the differences of a sick or disabled person. For the rest of the day I was thinking about Jerry's words and I think everyone was thinking the same thing and more when Jerry didn't show up for the next class.
"Have you guys seen Jerry?" Teacher Sol asked her students "I haven't seen him after they served breakfast."
"He must be wandering around the school like the idiot that he is," Angel replied sarcastically.
"Angel that vocabulary" sun soothed the adolescent toucan "I'll go look for him. Tomada you are in charge until I return" he leaves the room
"It's not worth looking for an idiot who feels superior to others" the toucan cursed again
"He's not an idiot, he just feels uncomfortable," Tiny replied.
"Those are excuses"
"Do not pretend to be a saint, you also felt uncomfortable when you arrived" Martín entered the conversation
"At least he didn't stutter when he talked to others," Angel reproached one of the actions that Martín did when he arrived at the private group.
"At least I didn't arrive crying the first day." Martín responded to Angel.
"They both behave like kindergarten children" interrupted Raquel the black cockatoo
"Look who says it" this time Martín began to discuss "the girl who cannot sleep without her panic doll"
(voice of Jaqui)
Everyone started arguing about who had the biggest flaws of all. Tomada tried to calm all the boys but when he least expected it he ended up arguing with Javier about the way he treated Jenny on her first day at Blu Sky, Tiny and I were the only ones quiet. The trust we had as a group was breaking and all because one guy refused to stay here
"They want to shut up the damn time!" Tiny yelled loudly causing everyone to shut up and be amazed "everyone has a damn defect that makes them ridiculous but not because one refuses to accept it means that we are all going to go crazy!"
"Tiny did you raise your voice?" Tomada was amazed by the change of emotion of the little bird like the rest of the boys
"Yes and what ... Some problem with that" Tom was silent and let him continue talking "it is not easy to face our defects it happened to me, it happened to each one of you and now it is happening to this boy so please They want to save their damn comments! "
"Why is there so much fuss?" Soledad interrupted entering the room looking at all of her students focused on Tiny "from the office you can hear her screams"
"Sorry, teacher Sol" Tomada apologized (as she was in charge) it's just that everyone went crazy for Jerry's behavior"
"Everyone?" I speak in a low voice Angel looking at Tiny receiving instead a pinch from the same green bird "hey, that hurts"
"Well, what he did was unexpected but it's because he was a little nervous" Soledad replied "so don't worry, remember that the same thing happened to us."
"Master Sun we are already looking everywhere and there is no trace of the child" interrupted one of the teachers the conversation of the macaw
"Now he is a rebel without restrictions?" Jenny wondered softly
"We better tell Chris" come back out of the classroom "you stay here and as punishment everyone will copy 10 pages of the reading book for not keeping quiet" everyone was upset by the teacher's request and to avoid a worse punishment everyone obeyed the order looking at each other seriously since everyone had insulted each other.
"I don't know why Tiny defends him. He was a jerk with his words." Angel was still upset by what happened and due to his anger he could not control his hands and ended up hurting himself with the pencil. "Stupid pencil."
"Angel, I also acted like a fool with you and even so you forgave me" Jaqueline had listened to all the conversation of her friend
"We all judge each other when we get to the group" Angel discreetly points to one of the students who was about to mention "I judged Raquel by her way of speaking when I speak like her anyway, Tomada almost hit Jenny in the cafeteria Now they are best friends and Martin takes me for a racist but I told him that I loved telling jokes and he understood me"
"Idiot" Martin whispered as he continued writing.
"Well, Jerry is right, the school belongs to everyone and we should not separate ourselves from everyone" Jaqui replied after listening to his friend
"He is not the first boy to say it" Angel remembers something from his past "as if we were close to the other students we would hardly go out into the hallways because they looked at us with disgust"
"It's because they are not used to seeing different people", Jaqui commented without stopping to write "it's like when you go to the hospital you don't know which of all the patients is the sickest."
"Anyway that boy went too far"
"I know but on the one hand he is right, school is for everyone"
(voice of Jaqui)
Jerry had disappeared from the classroom and they searched him everywhere, the principal assumed that he ran away from the school since from the beginning he refused to go to Sol's private lessons. The next day, as I was walking to the school, I ran into Jerry at the school entrance arguing with one of his friends.
"Are you implying that I'm crazy?" Jerry was having a conversation with Frank the Australian parakeet
"You're not crazy, it's just that you acted differently," Frank answered in a calm voice.
"The symptoms of epilepsy are not a big deal"
"But it's not normal for you to hit me in the hallway, like I was a threat to you" Frank remembers what happened the day of the earthquake (he remembers what happened in the third chapter)
"I will not go to a therapist anyway" Jerry was firm with his decision "just because the stupid director recommended it to my mother and she took it as a good thing means that I will do the same"
"Come on Jerry you have nothing to lose" insisted the parakeet
"You are not helping me at all, Frank!"
"I just want you to be okay, I care a lot about you" Frank tries to take his friend's hand but Jerry moves away from him.
"I won't go and that's my last word!"
"But…
"I said no!"
"Okay! ... but don't come looking for me when you're feeling bad!" Frank lost patience with his friend and continued on his way
"Umm... Jerry."
"What do you want Monroy?" Jerry replied dryly, recognizing the voice of the same girl who tried to speak to him in the dining room.
"Are you OK?" I ask with concern after having listened to the whole conversation
"Yes, I'm fine," he replied, turning his back to her, "why do you ask?"
"Well, because yesterday you behaved differently with the other boys and I understand that you are ...
"I'm not like them, okay! ... I'm sick in the head, I know, but I don't want to be treated like a vegetable"
"I know ... I know ... but what matters is why did they send you there?"
"I suffered an epileptic seizure for not consuming my medicines" confessed the cockatoo "it was not because of the shock of the earthquake how many times I have to say it"
"Why did you hide your illness?"
"They are just small faints that leave you unconscious for more than an hour and you recover in less than a week" Jerry did not take what he had very seriously "it is like getting sick with a bad flu and a cough at the same time"
"Do you play soccer knowing what you have that?" Jaqui asked, amazed by the value of the bird "it is very risky but at the same time incredible!"
"I say the same about you" Jerry replied turning around showing a small smile "how come you hurt your leg?
"I was born that way and I got worse when I was injured when I was five years old" for the first time Jaqui answered the question that people asked him so much. Without being afraid or ashamed to answer "I have hip problems, my leg is not the problem because I put all my weight on my left leg and that makes me walk badly"
"And you don't mind having that flaw as long as you do what you like best?" Jerry asked and Jaqui nodded to his friend's question "well that's what I think with what I have"
"How do you avoid thinking about that?" Jaqui asked with more curiosity
"That's a question with an answer that you know yourself" Jerry replied with a small smile.
(Bell ringing)
"Are you going to enter the class?" Jaqui asked once more, before entering the room where the special group was hiding from the others.
"I want to be free and be myself" Jerry replied leaving the place "I do not want to be in the dark all my life, people are afraid of me when I know that I am not doing anything wrong, so I will not hide" with his look, He points to the private group room and for the first time Jaqui looked down the hall as if it were a place without light.
(voice of Jaqui)
Jerry's words made me remember what I always tell myself when I want to learn something "you must do your best if you want to get what you want, fly, imagine and believe in yourself" but this something was not just any learning like reading and writing was much more than I wanted to see
During class everyone in the group looked at each other with a face of hatred and distrust, everyone had said things that they should not say that nobody wanted to say "a good day". Professor Sol noticed the change in mood of all of her students and wanted to talk with them or rather with us.
"Guys since I started class, no one has spoken or smiled during the day" Sol stopped writing on the board to talk to her students "Is everything okay?"
(voice of Jaqui)
No one dared to say the word everyone was thinking and I had no choice but to speak.
"Why are we hiding?" Jaqui asked, getting everyone's attention.
"Hide?"
"Yeah," he repeated again, "why can't we just hang out with the other kids at school?"
"Well ... because the director Chris knows how difficult it would be for the other boys to be with our presence" Soledad answered in a calm voice although inside she felt uncomfortable by the question since she did not know what to say about it.
"Nobody knows that we exist or that there is another type of study in the school," Jaqui recalled that few students knew of the existence of the special group "because they never mention your work or your name, Professor Sol? You are the school psychologist", others must know your work"
"It's because not all the boys dare to talk to me" Sol answered with a bit of nostalgia "like when you met me you didn't want to talk to me"
"Sol, with all due respect, I am tired of being locked up, I know that I have not finished with my therapies yet but I want to go back to doing the things I used to do when I started high school," Jaqui confessed in a friendly voice with no intention of insulting anyone "like playing soccer or having lunch with my other friends and I'm not saying I don't have friends here because they are all fabulous"
"It must be fun to practice soccer or athletics with another person", Angel was encouraged to speak, showing a smile after having argued with everyone "I always wanted to be the goalkeeper of a soccer team."
"Or walk the corridors", Jenny commented showing a smile "it's good to know more places" knowing that she couldn't see, she loved walking around the places
"Meet new students" said Martin feeling the same excitement as Jenny and Angel
"And be a part of public activities" Charlie felt the same spark as his friends through signs
"Guys I understand that you want to be part of the study but not all the boys and teachers have the same patience as me" Soledad answered without showing signs of annoyance, on the contrary, she did not know what to answer about it "also. There are no restrictions, security in the corridors like here"
"If you mean what happened to me, it's because I looked for it myself," Tiny commented, remembering the day Nigel tried to hit him.
"Sorry guys, but not everyone will be able to be a part of the school; there are things that teachers will not understand about you. I understand their weaknesses but the teachers will not have the same patience as me"
(Ringing of the bell)
"I suppose this is the end of the conversation" Sol ended the conversation that he never thought to do with his students, whom he did not have the courage to see because he could not help them with this new request "go out to breakfast"
(voice of Jaqui)
For a moment I thought that Sol would support our words, but I was afraid that they would hurt us. His words made me remember a saying my mother told me during her first days as a single mother "I will not always be aware of you, that's why you have to face life alone with or without my presence, whether or not you have a visible defect, be yourself. And fight for what you want as long as it is something that makes you happy"
(Jaqui begins to sing "This is me… by: Keala Settle, The Greatest Showman Ensemble" being in the long corridor that led to the main hall of the school where for the second time I looked at him dark)
I am not a stranger to the dark
Hide away, they say
Cause we don't want your broken parts
I've learned to be ashamed of all my scars
(Jaqui looks at herself)
Run away, they say
No one'll love you as you are
But I won't let them break me down to dust
(He turns around and looks at all his friends showing an honest and serious look)
I know that there's a place for us
For we are glorious
(Sing with more encouragement)
When the sharpest words wanna cut me down
I'm gonna send a flood, gonna drown 'em out
I am brave, I am bruised
I am who I'm meant to be, this is me
(He walks away from his friends to start walking to the main hall of the school)
Look out 'cause here I come
And I'm marching on to the beat I drum
I'm not scared to be seen
I make no apologies, this is me
(Everyone was convinced by Jaqui's words and walked behind her losing their fear of being seen by the rest of the school)
(At a distance from the scene, Jerry and some school children were watching the action of the special children. Jerry was glad to see their presence as they showed that they had changed their minds about being in hiding)
(Martín begins to sing with a feminine tone)
Another round of bullets hits my skin
Well, fire away 'cause today, I won't let the shame sink in
(Jerry is encouraged to sing joining the march)
We are bursting through the barricades and
Reaching for the sun
(All the special guys repeat the following phrase)
We are Warriors!
(Voice of Jaqui singing with more encouragement)
Yeah that's what we've become (yeah that's what we've become)
(They all start to sing and they all walk together)
I won't let them break me down to dust
(Some students felt awkward and amazed by the presence of so many special guys who walked away from the hall)
I know that there's a place for us
For we are glorious
When the sharpest words wanna cut me down
I'm gonna send a flood, gonna drown 'em out
(The scene where the special group rebelled against the director is shown)
I am brave, I am bruised
I am who I'm meant to be, this is me
(The scene where Sol supports his students is shown)
Be careful because here I come
And I'm marching to the beat of the drum
I'm not afraid to be seen
I don't apologize, this is me
(Special children are shown putting up justice and equality posters for the sick and disabled in the colors of the LGBT flag as a show of community support)
Oh… oh… oh… oh…
(Tomada's presence scared several people that even Nigel was hiding from him. Some children who were victims of his abuse were relieved by the presence of the Peregrine Falcon)
This is me
(A scene is shown about the special group hugging Soledad for the support she was giving them with her new application)
And I know that I deserve your love
Oh… Oh…Oh…
Oh… Oh… Oh…
Oh… Oh…Oh…
Oh… Oh…
(Jaqui's voice singing a little slow)
When the sharpest words want to cut me
(The scene where Jenny insults Felipe in the game of the chained with the presence of Jaqui and Nath is shown)
I'm gonna send a flood, gonna drown 'em out
This is brave, this is bruised
(A scene is shown where Tomada defends Sorrel and Tiny from Felipe by hitting him in the stomach)
This is what I'm meant to be, this is me
Look out 'cause here I come (look out 'cause here I come)
(The scene is shown where Nath and Jenny run towards the finish line where Tiny was waiting for them to announce the winner of the game of chains)
And I'm marching on to the beat I drum (marching on, marching, marching on)
I'm not scared to be seen
(The scene is shown where the director approved the request of the special guys and the special group celebrated)
I make no apologies, this is me
(The last letter of the song continues to sound)
Well, that's how my first days in the special group were, a great experience that I will never forget because now I feel good about myself, all thanks to the support I received from Martín and Soledad I am no longer ashamed of what I have. , I'm happy being myself and stuff. Nothing will change it, the only problem I need to solve is the connection between my mother and me, but that will be solved little by little.
Coming back to the present
"What else interesting things have happened to me?" Jaqui wondered looking at all his friends sitting on the grass living together until he saw Felipe walking at a certain distance from the place "Ahhh ... I know ...
And finally, I think I finally found out what kind of sexual attraction I like: men. I received my first kiss with the boy I least expected to meet on my way and he felt so hot, so fresh, that I liked rubbing ... Um ... a part of his body close to mine.
Although I didn't like that fool yelling at me and calling me crazy, I did like to brush my tongue with his. I wish no one had seen me kissing Felipe, if he had told them what happened, no one would believe me because what boy would want to go out with me? Are there guys who like women with hip dislocation?
One more thing since I started writing this diary, according to Martin, I must dedicate it to someone if I want to publish it as my book. I don't think anyone wants to read the personal life of a bitter, disabled teenager with a difficult life, but just in case I want to share it with a relative of mine, I think I want to dedicate it to my younger sister Cecilia. Her, that she is growing and learning many things.
If it will be dedicated to my sister and almost a daughter Cecilia so that she learns the most difficult challenges of a teenager
Based on a true story
(In honor of all the people who have suffered abuse for being different knowing that they are not doing anything wrong)
And we have reached the end of this chapter of Jaqueline with the special group. I want to thank Riodanjaneiro for permission to use his OC Martin and Tomada The Falcón for using OC Tomada from him and also all the people who had the patience to finish this phase of the story now if I focus on Blu and Jewel.
The song "This is me by The Greatest Showman Ensemble" has a beautiful meaning both for LGBT people and for me, because before I did not feel very good about myself due to my visible flaws, I had to fight a lot to be accepted in some places and in others I resigned because it was not worth being with people who will always judge you now I am happy with a man who loves me with my defects who does not consider something annoying or shameful in our relationship and very soon I will have another person who feels a strong love for me
The narration that Martín was doing with Jaqui is about a chapter of the Netflix series "Big Mouth". I recommend that you watch it because it is so much fun. I am not LGBT but with these last chapters about Jaqui in the special group I want to say that I support the LGBT community. Religion and the welfare of each are two different things
Your criticisms and comments will be heard (as long as they are related to the story) now if we return to Blu and Jewel, so do not miss it.
Atte: JAQUI (JMG, RIO)