Despite all the media circus, the quidditch team was focused like a laser on winning the championship. Months of preparation had paid off. They treated the week like any other. And when it came time for Friday night, the team decided they could use a little break.

In her dorm room, Tanya was feeling conflicted. She loved Ronnie. Ronnie had taken her in, provided for her, and taught her magic. Yet against her best judgment, she was falling in love with Jerry. She wanted three more years at Hogwarts with him. But if she couldn't get three years, she would at least get one night.

Tanya trimmed her pubes, put on a special pair of pants, and went over to Jerry's dorm room.

"Knock, knock," Tanya said, as she pushed the door open.

There was Jerry sitting at his desk, with his pants around his ankles, an open jar of Jif peanut butter beside him and a smiling corgi panting nearby.

"I can explain," Jerry said as he fumbled for the Jif jar and tried to pull up his pants simultaneously.

Tanya had caught him before the act. His penis was circumcised, floppy, small. It reminded her of pink rolly-polly.

"It's a grower not a shower," Jerry said, pleading for Tanya to believe him.

"Oh, it's gonna grow," Tanya said, ripping off her tearaway pants to expose a perfect beaver shot.

As though a spell were cast on it, Jerry's penis began to rise up and grow. It was the most turgid he had ever been. His cock was throbbing. He was a grower, all right. Tanya picked up the jar of peanut butter, dipped her fingers in it, and smeared the peanut butter around her genitals.

"Chunky? Come lick this up like the dog you are, you little pervert," Tanya said.

Thus began an evening romp of sexual celebration that lasted well into the early morning. Jerry was elated. He was no longer a virgin. They talked long into the night.

"Why don't you ever talk about your family?" Jerry asked.

"Well, it's complicated," Tanya said.

"I want to know," Jerry said.

Tanya paused. She had spent years building walls of ice around her heart, but Jerry and his goofy smile were melting them like the warm sun. He drew little hearts on her skin with his index finger.

"So, I don't really have a family," Tanya said. "I have this woman who raised me. She's kind of like my mom. She took me in when nobody wanted me. I guess my real parents got rid of me when they learned I had magic. I was just a toddler. My 'mom' encouraged me. She used to be so warm and kind. But each year, her heart seemed to grow colder — especially when we moved from the bungalow to the skull-shaped island. Still, I would do anything for you."

"She sounds like a strong woman," Jerry said. "She's got to be pretty great if she raised you."

"Pssh, you. You're just trying to butter me up for 'round four,' aren't you?"

Jerry shrugged and winked. "Well, now that you mention it…"

Tanya laughed, pushed him back onto the bed, and climbed on top. She was still wearing her bra. It was an A-cup.

"Wait," Jerry said. "There's something I want you to know about me, too. Everyone thinks I love giant breasts. Big, jiggly jugs. But the truth is I don't. I love small breasts. And I think there ought to be more representation in media of hot women with small breasts."

"Oh, Jerry," Tanya said, unclasping her bra. "You really are the perfect man."

In between their lovemaking sessions, Jerry looked around the room.

"What is it?" Tanya asked.

"Did you happen to see where that corgi went?" Jerry asked.

"I think he ran out when I came in. Why?"

"Oh, no reason," Jerry said nervously. "No reason at all."

The corgi had, in fact, ran out when Tanya came in. It ran down the hall, past some classrooms, up and down a few staircases, and into another dorm room where it transformed back into MJ.