The darkness outside, as the sun went down, was similar to the darkness of the emptiness inside of her, it was like falling in the dark, you didn't for how long you were going to fall and when you'll hit the ground, but you just knew that you were falling, and now she was feeling like that, and the place didn't help either, her compartment was completely dark, and as outside was quickly going fark, her compartment to will be even darker; the sun was quickly going down, the sky was losing the bright orange and yellow and was replacing them with the night blue; soon only the night and the many stars would illuminate the landscape.
It was just like her, she thought to herself; like the old Anastasia, the joyous, hopeful, innocent, and naive girl with a big heart, who now was down like the sun, and like the night after the day, a new version of herself was rising, but this one was just an empty shell without any feeling, any desires; who had now forgotten the hours spend on daydreaming a life in the peaceful French countryside, with Dima; those things were for the old self, the one who died in that basement, killed by the bullets; alongside her family.
Before for her death was a shadow, that you knew was there but you could never see, while now, that shadow rather than being behind you, was a projection of yourself in front of you, as if you were the shadow; and it stood there as a constant reminder of what had happened; she wasn't afraid of death, well, not anymore, in truth she didn't care, she might have decided to help the whites, but this doesn't mean that she had a goal to reach, or a person to love until the end of time; well she does love, she loves Dmitry, she just doesn't want to burden him with the care of somebody alive only physically, she knows that he would follow her everywhere, he is extremmly loyal to the ones he loves; but in this case, it would be wrong, to be loyal, and to follow somebody who in the end would act as reckless as possible just to die; she smiled bittersweetly; it was ironic, how fate could be, at first it was him going to war, just so that death would extinguish the love for her and now, ironically, fate with his cruel smile had changed the roles, it was now her, running away from him just to meet her death, so to exitinguing the agony that living had become.
And now she is even questioning his love towards her, is he in love with an innocent naive girl, who was the opposite of what he had seen in the trenches during the war, or was he in love with her, with Anastasia, the changing girl, soon to be a woman; is he in love with an idea, a porcelain doll or with a living, breathing person?
It surprised her to know that she still had tears, with whom cry, with those depressing thoughts she had put to sleep, the fiery energy that had kept her going for all of this time, and now as it left her, she began to feel what before was covered, the hungerness, the thirstyness and the tiredness, now hit her with in strong wawes, but none of them could be compared to the pain of her injures, which was now overwhelming her like an avalanche; the gems when they were hit by bullets, riflected the bullets, but out of the force of the impact, the were pushed inside of her, this and also she injuries made by the bayonets, made her torso hurt more than everything, more so then the coldness of her feet, that cpould be felt even in the bones; she didn't feel anything but cold on her feet, she is lucky that she can still move them al little bit, walking on the snow without proper shoes, or even just shoes, can be extremely dangerous, one can lose his feets and never walk again; all of this groupht tears of pain, resting her head on the cold glass, of the compartement; her hot breath, which was the only thing hot in the compartment, fogging up the glass; she closed her eyes and as tiredness began to get the better of her, and soon she was drifting off to sleep.
She was awoken by a hand roughly shaking her shoulder, she opened her eyes, at first sleepy and more closed than open, but after understanding that somebody was waking her up, and not so kindly, she jolted awoke with a small shout, and immediately turned her head; in from of her was a man, with a lantern in his hand, illuminating the cabin, he wore a uniform with a red star; shit, he was Bolshevik, she thought to herself, his eyes looked soulless and with a harsh glare on her.
"Show me your ticket" he demanded, coldly, and stretching out a hand.
"T-ticket?" She whimpered, she was scared, having him so near her, made her felt like back in the basement; like an animal in a cage, if she could she would run, but unfortunately, she couldn't, because he was blocking the exit, she retreated from him until she was tightly pressed to the glass, he smirked at her response.
"So you don't have one, well we can find other ways," he said with a small chuckle, shrugging a little, he now looked at her like all of the other guards, in the same disgusting way, of which they looked at her and her sisters, as if they were prize just to be taken, and she hated that, it made her feel like being naked while still having clothes on; all of the guards that had been assigned to them after her papa had abdicated, weren't nor kind nor good to them, especially to her and her sisters, they loved taunting them and make dirty talks, and they couldn't do anything about it, and she hated being powerless; powerless to even defend her honour or even her dignity.
He approached her, always smirking evilly at her, she wanted to run away, but there weren't paths free for her to run away, and all she could do was be at his mercy; he cupped her cheek with his vile hand, it made her stomach turn on itself, by being touched by him, as his hand felt foreign and colder than the glass behind her, he again moved nearer her.
She struck him, kicking him in the shin and between his legs, she shouldn't be happy, but who cares, he deserves that and much more, for being the pig he is; he immediately cries in pain, losing his bravado; and this moment of weakness she shoves him against the seat and makes sure that his head had hit hard the seat, by purposefully shoving his head numerous times against the seat, thus by knocking him unconscious.
"What is going on there?" Shouts a voice not far away, somebody must have heard his comrade's cries of pain.
She has to get out here, as she opens the door, the other is out there too, and for a brief moment they lock eyes with each other, she has the time to see his eyes widening like his mouth as if he is trying to formulate a question or is ready to ask it, but she has no time to find out which is it and also she doesn't have any interest, so she punches him in the head, thus removing him from the doorway, he falls backwards, and lands roughly on the carpet; he isnt knocking him out, by the punch or by the fall, and now he is blocking one path, she has no other choice than to go for the other one, she runs to the door and quickly opens it and jumps to the other coach, by the time she is opening the door, the officer has regained himself and has started running after her, as he Is opening the door of the previus coach, she is closing the door of the other coach, they briefly lolk eyes with each other, and the hate is his eyes is unmistacable; so she runs faster this time, she has to put much more distance between them, if she wants to escape; the coach she has entered has all lights turned off, and this immediately worries her, she runs through it, and as she opens the last door, she understandss what was wrong, that was the last coach of the train; she curses, she is now in trap, but somethng on her left caught her eyes, it was a ladder, that leads to the roof of the coach, she has no time to decide, as, through the small window of the door, she sees, the other door opening and a shadow moving, its him, she has to move quickly, she wents up the ladder, and jump on the roof, the thud is audible even inside the coach, the steel is not so tough, and only deaf wouldn't have heard it; it is very difficult to walk over it, the trains travel as fast as ever and the strong wind that hits her in the face is cold, and it makes it hard to stay straight, so she has to crawl; the other has arrived to, and he to is now on the roof, and now, he trying to grasp her with his hand, he is unsuccessful in his attempt, at first, but then he grasp her ankle and be now starts trying to take her down from the roof, she won't have any of that, and starts fighting back, by moving her foot as much as she can and in various direction, he strengthens his grip of her; but after much fighting, she is able to free herself by kicking him in the head, he grumbles and tries to retake her, but now she has already crawled away from him, she is now in the middle of the coach and has to decide what to do.
Well, the choice is simple, the only curse of action possible is jumping off the train, and she likes this, she likes the excitement, the thrill that this brings to her, it almost makes her feel alive, and for an instant, the agony vanishes into nothing, leaving only the thrive for survival.
She was now trying to stand up, after almost falling numerous times, she was now standing on the roof, she wasn't standing completely straight, as standing was a problem big enough on its own; she was now waiting for an interruption of the forest, where there wouldn't be any trees, she might have been crazy enough to jump off a train, but this didn't mean that she wanted her neck broken, or other parts of her body, after all, she was on her own, there wouldn't rescues, searching for her if she broke a leg or an arm, it was her problem, and if that happened that she would join her family pretty soon.
"Don't jump, I mean you no harm" he pleaded with her, he had understood what she was about to do, and now was trying a different approach in capturing her, maybe talking would solve what brute force couldn't.
She laughed coldly at him; his pathetic attempt in stopping her was laughable; what was he thinking, that after his comrade harassed her, and he had demonstrated his desire to capture her, she was simply going to shrug and say "Ok, I tried" and then let herself be at his mercy. She shared her head, and ignored him, and waited; he didn't move an inch, maybe he too was waiting, but for their arrival in Perm, or maybe he was still believing that she wasn't going to jump, but that was completely wrong; now time seems to have slowed down, the fast tempo that had followed her among the runs and fights, had left, and like in a symphony after the allegro, comes the adagio, and like that here now was all a matter of waiting.
At the first clearing, she jumped, there was no preparation for this climax, and as an audience in the concert, he too was shocked, in fact, he instinctively outstretched his hand, but it was to no avail, she was too far away for him; and as she jumped, she said something that greatly confused him, she said in an ominous tone and with her eyes looking at something beyond this world, this:
"They said the same thing"
"So where should she be?" asked Nikolai, looking around, before looking at them; it has been three or four hours since they started their search, and they had zero results this far; well that was mostly because they hadn't yet arrived where she jumped; she jumped something like thirty or forty kilometres from Perm, and if she had gone to Perm, they would have already found her.
"She should be around here, I saw her jumping near here, near the railroads there should be a clearing," answers the one without the bandages on the head; after speaking to him, Nikolai had discovered that his name was Leo Victorovich and the other was Ivan Victorovich; they were brothers although they acted the opposite, they act as if they were friend only because of a common goal, and that goal that was the victory of the communist party, in the civil war; and that is pretty ironic, as they both are just officers patrolling trains, and neither commissars nor soldiers.
When Leo answered him, he wasn't looking at him, because Nikolai is behind them, and the brothers are in front of him, riding their horses, while he is instead is one or two meters behind them, riding to a horse; he wasn't before them, as he didn't trust them, in fact, he was going to betray them, and in his mind, if they were smart enough then they too would be plotting to betray him; it was common knowledge that members of the Cheka were untrustable, but rather than act with a grain of salt, or with common sense, they instead are looking around and moving their torches in the air in every direction, so, as to see much further away; Nikolai is behind them and is searching too; he took an oil lantern rather than a torch, like them and he can see much further than them, without acting like a clown.
"Here is the clearing," said Leo, arriving at a clearing; it was very near the railroads; there weren't many trees, maybe they had been used for the construction of the railroad or maybe for some house, the land was as white as ever, covered in snow, it wasn't the thick snow, but instead a softer one, that in the next month would melt and the terrain would be covered in mud.
"We should split up, to cover much more area," said Ivan, looking at both of them and before they could answer to him, he has already turned his backs on them and has gone for his road; the other audible sign; maybe this has been a common accurate between them, thinks Nikolai; not long has passed before both of them have left for their area
"I HAVE FOUND HER" shout's joyously Ivan, he wawes his torch up in the air, as to signal his position to both of them, before he got off from the horse and kneeled on the ground checking on her, he checked her pulse and found out that she was alive, before shouting it on the air, as to say it to his comrades.
Nikolai has arrived there, with Leo, they both galloped to his position; and his shout wasn't needed as they were just two meters from him; Nikolai sees her for the first time in many years, about four or five, and she isn't the girl he had once met she is now a little bit taller, but that is hard to understand as she is sprawled near a tree, obviously unconscious, her strawberry blond hair are dimmer than what he remembers, and shorter too, they barely reach her shoulders; maybe is the snow that covers her hair and the rest of her body, but he isn't that sure about it; what he is sure instead is that she is very thin and pale.
He is the last one to descend from the horse, as he had been watching her, while the other two are already there, whispering among themselves towering over her body, they only acknowledge his presence only after he has descended from the horse, he still has the reins in his hand and the other hangs freely on his side, dangerously close to his gun.
"Thank you for your help, now we'll take it from here, so you can go for your road," said Ivan, almost in a dismissal tone of voice; Leo nods too, approving his brother's words, it is the first they agree on something, after all, they both think their deal is over.
The time stops, and nobody dares to make a move, and the tension rapidly growing; all of them now understand that this was a fragile alliance, something that shouldn't have happened in the first place at all, and now they both understand that Nikolai's presence wasn't necessary at all, even his decision in going all by himself was very suspicious, everyone there had a gun loaded, and ready to fire, the only question unspoken and still unanswered was, what wanted Nikolai out of this, this was the question in their minds, was he helping them because he wanted or because he had a secret gain from all of this; Ivan who was crouched on the ground was slowly moving his hand towards his gun, maybe they would be able to arrest him and thus by proving themself and finally leave their jobs as officers.
"I have other plans for her" Nikolai said dangerously low, smirking, they had finally understood that you should never trust someone just because he was of the same party, but they were too late; this confirmed their suspicion, but before they could react or took their guns, he has already shot at both of them in the head; they both dropped dead on the ground, covering her with their bodies. They made just one mistake, they forgot that you can deceive the deceived, but you cannot deceive the deceiver, and members of the Cheka are known for being deceivers.
He removes their bodies from her and lets them there, he won't bury them, he would just let them there, nobody would miss them, the snow and this clearing with its few trees would be their tombs, a very natural one.
He removes Anastasia from the snow and covers her with his coat, as to warm her, since she is cold; he doesn't know how to treat injuries, or how to heal her wounds, one of the few things he doesn't know how, but he knows that she is injured, she didn't survive the massacre and jumped from a train, remaining unscratched, he doesn't know the extent of the injuries, but she must be brought to a medic or a nurse, or somebody who could treat those wounds.
He frees the two horses of the officers, and let the saddles on the ground; he gets on the horse and places Anastasia near him on the saddle, he puts her in front of him, with an arm around her, so to keep her firmly, her head rests on his shoulder, while her legs swing freely on one side, and with a lantern in his hand and the reins in the other, he starts, to his destination, which is a convent, near Perm there are many churches and monasteries, and the nearest one is the convent of Saint Olga; nowadays convents, churches, and monasteries have become hospitals for many people since all medics and nurses are on the frontline healing and caring for soldiers, as everybody seems to have forgotten about the common people, and in this neglect, the convents, monasteries and the church, have stepped up for the task and have cared for them when nobody else did that, fulfilling their role as helper of the poor and weak.
It takes a few hours to arrive there, to the convent, and by that time it is almost sunrise; the colour of the sky has changed, from the night blue, to the orange and yellow of the sun, before taking its usual light blue colour; the lantern has become useless, so he turns it off, and place it on his belt; the convent is located on the top of a hill, in the distance, you can see Perm. Truthfully told he doesn't know who controls the city, or should be controlled by the Soviets, but the loyalty of the cities if it has not won with blood, then it alternates as fast as day and night.
He knocks three times on the iron gate, using the metal ring on it, which has the Greek cross on it; the metal sound echoes across the landscape. He is surprised that the Reds hadn't taken the metal, after all, they didn't refrain from doing the same to other churches in the major cities, they melted the gold, took the precious gems, and went as far as to take even the gates in gates in iron, so to melt them, luckily only is a handful of churches they did all of that. A nun appears, she wears dirty white clothes, and is understandably shocked by his appearance, he still wears, after all, Cheka's uniform, and that alone could cause a stroke to those who knew them.
"I mean you no harm, please I need your help," said Nikolai at the nun, he almost shouts at her as they are far away, she is visibly reluctant to even approach him and still keeps the door a little bit open.
"She's injured and you're the only ones who can heal her, please," he raises Anastasias body, as to empathize it, "I swear in the name of God, that I mean you no harm, if I wanted to harm any of you, I could have already done that, but I didn't and that is because I mean you no harm, please believe me" he is almost pleading with her now, maybe he shouldn't have told her, that if he wanted he could harm her, but he wasn't going to do that and this curse3 of action could be taken as proof of his honesty, but maybe this logic, still with its flaws would convince her, hopefully; after much time she signed and goes to open the gates of the convent.
Hello, there; thank you for reading this chapter, and thank you all for the many views; feedback is always appreciated hope you enjoy it and bye-bye.