Disclaimer: I do not own South Park. It is owned by Matt Stone, Trey Parker, Comedy Central and Viacom. It is my favorite adult show without question however.

Kenny walked home from Wendy's house, looking a bit bummed. Damn it, I can't believe I was so interested in playing with her boobs with my powers, he complained in his head. Now I don't get to touch any boobs at all today… he sighed. Then he heard a loud horn honking. He turned his head to see a truck coming right for him, its driver being drunk and crying, leading Kenny to assume he'd just been broken up with. Oh, FUCK! He quickly tried to use his powers to throw it far in reverse. It flew backwards into a telephone pole, and Kenny had managed to levitate the driver out of the truck so he didn't die…

…is what Kenny wishes would've happened. But sadly, his powers can't affect anything bigger or heavier than he is yet - if they ever will, that is. It can affect small parts of things that are heavier, or clothes heavy people were wearing, but not the things or people themselves

Kenny was hit by the truck, every bone in his body breaking, and the truck crashing into the wall Kenny stood in front of, the driver got out, having trouble standing up either due to being drunk or crashing. Kenny's vision got blurry, him seeing everything with a red tint as he looked at the driver who wore a trucker hat. The man collapsed. Kenny was hoping he was okay. He'd experienced death enough times himself to never wish that on anyone else.

Kenny woke suddenly the following morning with a scream, how he always woke. He looked around. He was able to move fine. Every time he died, he would check to see if he still had the injury that killed him. He never did, but he still felt sore in whatever place had taken the injury, so he would be in pain for some time unfortunately. At least it wasn't as bad as it was when he had actually been hit though.

Kenny got up and walked to a broken mirror in his room. Some asshole had once just thrown it away in front of his house (Kenny lived in a poor neighborhood, so a lot of people just used it as a dumping ground for their garbage), but Kenny figured it still showed his reflection - even if there was a crack in it - so it was still good at least. He let down his hood, since his face was normally difficult to see when it was up. His face still looked the same (Thank God. This was one of the things Wendy loved about him).

Kenny put his hood back up and walked outside of his room. He saw his sister in front of the bathroom, holding a towel in her right arm. "Oh, hey, Kenny. Do you have to use the bathroom before I shower?"

This seems like a setup for a lot of the porn I watch, Kenny thought. When talking to his sister, he usually tried to avoid making his typical perverted comments that the audience had trouble hearing, though because of how much he knows about sex, it was sometimes inevitable. In most cases when he was around her, he just thought these things.

"Hey, that's not very appropriate, Kenny," Karen laughed a bit.

"What isn't very appropriate? I didn't say anything?" Kenny answered.

Karen paused. "Wait, what?" she asked.

Is she fucking with me, or-?

It was at that point that Karen realized that her brother's mouth wasn't moving and that she heard his voice there with a more reverb effect on it. And that it also actually didn't sound like he was mumbling. Karen shrieked and then ran away.

"What the fuck?" Kenny questioned. He shrugged it off and went to get breakfast.

Aaaand there was nothing to eat for breakfast. He cursed his family's life of poverty, and then hoped Karen had gotten something to eat. He figured maybe he could visit Wendy's house and get something to eat there (thank fuck it was Saturday. While he could usually get food from the cafeteria at school, the food made by the man who replaced Chef was the worst). Kenny walked to the door, hearing his parents argue some fucked up shit like "You drunk asshole!" or "You fucking meth-head whore!" He didn't really ever like hanging around his house because of the violence that often ensued.

At Wendy's house, Karen was seen running by. "Oh, hey, Karen!" she greeted.

Karen stopped, and turned towards Wendy. "Oh, hey, Wendy," she replied. "It's been awhile."

"Yeah, it has. Have you been doing well in school lately?" Goddamn it, these things are fucking heavy. My back is constantly sore. Why did I have to get jealous of Bebe's when I was a kid?

Karen heard that. Her eyes suddenly stared at Wendy's chest, one of the rare times she remembered that Wendy had huge fake tits. This time, rather than running away from Wendy with a scream because she heard her thoughts, she ran away from Wendy with tears falling down her face because she now felt self-conscious (Karen had boobs, but because she was still growing, they weren't big yet).

"Hey, babe!" Kenny cheered, now entering the scene with his arms both extended to the side.

"Oh, hey," Wendy approached her boyfriend and they wrapped their arms around one another. After the hug ceased, she then asked: "Hey, Kenny? Has Karen been okay lately?"

"She has been," Kenny began to explain. "She's been maintaining a 3.6 GPA in school and she's stayed away from drugs to my knowledge."

Wendy smirked. "Have you?" she asked, as if she didn't already know the answer.

"That depends, do you consider reefer a drug?"

Wendy playfully punched his arm. "Seriously though, she just suddenly ran away crying after staring at my chest."

"Really?"

"Yeah, and right before she did, I had just thought about them making my back sore."

"They can't make it that sore," Kenny joked. "I mean, Cartman has a big pair and he never complains about it."

Wendy playfully punched Kenny's arm again… much harder. He grabbed the spot she punched with his opposite hand.

"I think she heard my thoughts, Kenneth," Wendy stated.

"Now that you mention it, she did seem to think I said a joke out loud when I had actually just thought one…"

"Fuck! We gotta find her then!" The two quickly sped off, splitting up in different directions. Kenny headed towards the playground, Wendy headed towards the school.

At the playground, Kenny found Ike, who still liked to play with his friends there.

"Oh, hey, Kenny," Ike cheered, his head flapping in the poor animation style for Canadians in this show.

"Ike, have you seen my sister, Karen?"

"I've seen a lot of Karens ever since 2020, but none of them were actually named Karen…" Ike said.

"Fuck!" Kenny complained. He then heard his cell phone ringing with the ringtone being Violent Pornography by System of the Down. That wasn't a ringtone specific to Wendy, though it was her calling him. He answered it. "Hello?"

"Kenny, I found her in front of the school," Wendy said.

"Of course," Kenny didn't think of it, but if Karen was hearing people's thoughts, she likely would've ended up at the school after hearing a lot of thoughts when running anywhere else, due to school being closed today. He hung up his phone and then looked at Ike. "Okay, she was found, Ike. Hope to see you later on in the story."

"I hope so too," Ike replied, as if either of them knew what they were talking about at that point.

When Kenny got to the front of the school, he saw Karen in a fetal position and Wendy a good distance from her.

"Kenny, this appears to be how far away you have to be from Karen for her to not hear our thoughts," Wendy explained.

"So, what? You expect me to stay this distance from my sister for the rest of my life?" Kenny complained.

"No, but we could maybe think of a way for her to control her powers like you learned how to do with yours," Wendy informed. At first, it only happened when Kenny's emotions were rather strong, especially when he was angry. Cartman insulting Wendy so much gave Kenny plenty of opportunities to better learn how it worked. The amount of love he had for Wendy also made it work more easily whenever he was around her. Nowadays, he understands it well enough for it to almost always work. Only exceptions being the previously mentioned size and weight being greater than his own.

"I guess… but she at first just heard me for no reason, meaning there were barely any emotions involved, so what do you think controls it exactly?"

"Well, it's related to thoughts, so… maybe we need to think less for it to help?" Wendy's suggestion made Kenny facepalm. "Oh, right. My bad."

"Wait… think less…" Kenny paused. "Karen, try clearing your mind."

"HOW THE FUCK AM I EXPECTED TO CLEAR MY MIND WITH THIS SHIT GOING ON!?" Karen screamed.

"Think about your happy place!" Wendy suddenly chimed in. "Take a deep breath and then think of something that makes you happy."

Karen did as she was told. She began thinking of her happy place - going fishing at Stark's Pond with both her brothers.

She then grabbed both sides of her head with her hands and shrieked. "MAKE IT STOP! MAKE IT FUCKING STOP!" she fell to her knees, millions of different thoughts coming to her head at once. Kenny and Wendy quickly ran to her, Kenny grabbing her by the arms.

"KAREN! CALM THE FUCK DOWN! WE CAN FIX TH-" Karen suddenly pushed both Kenny and Wendy out of the way and ran into the street with her eyes closed. Kenny shrieked. "KAREN! WATCH OU-" the same truck driver from yesterday suddenly ran her over in a different truck. Apparently, his license wasn't taken away because Officer Barbrady is incompetent. He continued driving until he would inevitably crash into something else. Kenny ran up to Karen, with waterfalls making their way down his face. "YOU BASTARD! YOU FUCKING, RETARDED, ASSHOLE, REDNECK, CUNT-FUCKING SHIT-HEAD BASTARD!"

Wendy walked up to Kenny.

"Kenny… I'm sorry," Wendy lamented with him, placing her hand on his back.

"I was supposed to be the one to protect her!" Kenny sobbed. "I swore it on the day she was born. I told my brother I would and he gave words of encouragement. I always stood up for her when people picked on her. She was the whole reason I began that stupid fucking Mysterion act! And now, I couldn't even fucking help her!"

"Hey, uh, Kenny…" Wendy realized something. "You know how you and Karen are related, and your Dad died when our parents were all pissed off about Terrence and Philip?" (If you don't believe me on that one, rewatch the episode Death)

"You- You don't think-!?"

The two of them raced back to Kenny's house and into Karen's room to find Carol and Stuart McCormick placing a new baby into Karen's bed.

"Great. Now it's fucking happening with two of our children! I swear to fucking God, Carol, your cunt must be the size of Mt. Everest at this point!"

"Oh, like you even fuck me enough to see for yourself you drunk asshole!" The two of them walked past Kenny and Wendy, seemingly not even noticing them.

"I guess we should wait to see if she'll be okay tomorrow when she's a kid again then?" Kenny suggested.

"Might as well," Wendy said.

After Wendy and Kenny slept in the same room (not in the same bed because even Kenny didn't trust himself to not try anything. Wendy slept on the floor in a sleeping bag), they were both woken up by a scream much louder than Kenny's always was through his hood.

"What was that!?" Wendy asked.

"I'll explain it later so you can write in your notebook," Kenny said.

Karen ran out of her room and into Kenny's. She stared at them and then sighed in relief.

"Don't get too excited just yet, Karen," Kenny said. "That reading people's minds thing is likely to come back."

"Reading people's minds!?" Wendy questioned.

"Yeah, and I think I figured it out since I had a few seconds of peace," Karen said. "Thinking less made me hear a lot more people's thoughts than I already was, right? Maybe me thinking more will help make it less of an issue?"

"At very least, it'll drown it out, I guess," Kenny answered.

"CAN YOU TWO STOP LEAVING ME IN THE DARK AND TELLING ME WHAT THE FUCK YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT!?"

Kenny and Karen both suddenly began laughing at Wendy's outburst there. Wendy was able to remember Kenny's telepathy at least without her diary thanks to the number of days he's gone without dying. Karen's mind-reading abilities would be memorized by her too eventually as well.

So, yeah, while my previous Chromebook was broken (this one has issues currently too, so don't be surprised if I end up relying on my phone to post chapters in the future), I came up with the idea that "Hey, Kenny's parents were in a cult to get free booze, so that clearly makes Kenny's relatives able to have the ability to die and come back, and therefore, it also would have the ability to give his relatives some weird abilities too, right? Well, that's what I decided to do here (and yes, I plan to give powers to Carol, Stuart and Kevin too). I didn't want to make them all Telepaths though because that would feel kind of lazy. I'll probably have to change the name of this story because of that, but I can't see myself doing it because then I'll forget what I changed the name to and wonder what happened to this story, ha!