CHAPTER 80: Spam Calls and The Apocalypse an Anthology (Fandom: TMNT)

Hy'gur eyed his surroundings warily, searching for something out of the ordinary. Scanning the trees, he spots something! Pulling back his spear, he thrusts forward and…!

Crunch!

The can caught on the tip of the trash picker and was subsequently placed in the trash bag by his side.

With a tune on his lips, Hy'gur strolled down the park streets searching for more trash. Just because the Void Birds ate it didn't mean you could just leave it out.

BRING BRING!

Hy'gur pulled out his phone and looked at the message that just came in.

His services were required.

He sprinted back towards home, eager to use his new bags of holding.

! #$%^&*()

It started out in a way no one expected. No one expects the end of the world to come by those "We buy HOUSES for CASH!" signs.

And yes, we could start at the beginning, but that would take too long, and time didn't exist then. So, a brief summary.

An ancient race of aliens were being tormented by an eldritch greed monster. They managed to defeat it and lock it in an impenetrable cage and sent it out into the unknown universe. As it so happens, several millennia later, it had made it to the milky way galaxy and crashed on a little dirtball called Earth. It crashed in what is now known as New York city. When it first crashed, the Native Americans saw it for the evil it was, and tried to destroy it. But before they could, a pretentious white colonizer European man named C. F. Volpehart stopped them and came under the Monster's influence. The Monster told Volpehart that it would make him rich and prosperous if he did it's bidding. And he did, for the next 200 years or so. Until it got on the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle's radar. They went into the dark catacombs, faced their worst fears, and defeated the Abomination. But, they had forgotten one key detail, those pods that they were trapped in didn't feed the monster, they fed the next generation of monsters. Those random skeleton warriors were there for a reason. So the Turtles went back home feeling accomplished while the world began its descent into madness.

The next eldritch greed monster didn't have the same plan that it's parent did. Similar, sure, but not the same. It first influenced a businessman, then a realtor, then, anyone that called and wanted to sell their home for cash. The Monster grew even more powerful than its predecessor.

But of course this wasn't enough to end the world, if it was, we would already be dead, wouldn't we?

In the base universe, the Turtles weren't meant to meet Sh'Okanabo for over a hundred years. Of course, the sooner the Dread Lord's plan to cause the Day Of Awakening started, the sooner the day would be upon them. What better way to fool the stupid Earthlings than to beat them at their own game. So calls started going out, "We've been trying to reach you regarding your car's extended warranty."

At first, neither creature had any idea that the other existed. But, as fate would have it, even businesses run by eldritch horrors get scam calls.

Yes, that includes Dollar General.

Now, both creatures knew about each other and were not happy. Their campaigns against the humans became more and more persistent.

It started out as a fine halloween night, little ghouls, goblins, ghosts, and furries were out enjoying themselves and getting candy. The turtles were out happy that they could walk among the humans for at least one night.

The ground shook.

Rain started, then hail, thunder boomed.

Then, emerging out of the ground, the eldritch greed monster RawrxD. Leonardo was about to start giving orders when Sh'Okanabo leaped down and began to fight the greed monster.

Within days most of Earth was unlivable.

But, against all odds, Michelangelo was still alive and doing what he could to help.

And then he saw a man carrying two large bags, stuffed to the brim, into Dollar General.

"Hey you! We need to work together, those things could help. Don't hoard them all."

Hy'gur, for that was who the man was, stopped and gave the terrapin a somber look. He opened his mouth as if to say something, but closed it again. Turning back to the doors, he said, "Universes die all the time, and someone needs to scavenge the corpses. Yours just happened to come by sooner than most."

He kicked open the door and stepped inside, but Michalangelo stopped the door from closing with a cry of "But it isn't over yet!"

Hy'gur placed the bags down and turned back to the final turtle. "All universes must come to an end, some sooner than others, some before their time. There is nothing we can do about it besides trying our best. Nothing is made to last. Memento Mori, Michalangelo, for what it's worth, I'm sorry."

With a mighty push, Michelangelo was thrown into the street. When he looked up, it was only an abandoned building.

(Author-san is tired and has had a TMNT hyperfixation for a year now. Author-san can only write TMNT and angst reliably. Author-san also mildly blames EclipseTheCat13 on AO3, but also thanks them. Happy (Halloween) Christmas.)