Chapter 5

Mary could feel the pressure heavy on her shoulders as she stood in the doorway with Richard Carlisle in front of her. A lump at formed at the base of her throat and she was struggling to keep her breaths steady and even. She would not allow Richard to see that he had unsettled her. She would not allow him that satisfaction.

Standing up straighter, Mary's lips pursed into a thin, unamused line.

"If you are about to say you want me to sleep with you, you are out of your damn mind, Carlisle! That will never happen."

Richard only laughed.

"What kind of man do you think I am, Mary? Do you really think I would go that low?" Mary huffed, because yes, she did. "Also, I've already been there and done that. Remember that night in Dubai?"

Mary shuddered at the thought. It was many, many years ago during their brief stint in a relationship. The trip had been the highlight of their time together. It was a last minute idea to go and Mary had loved being able to explore. However, she and Richard had argued the entire time, though that was typical no matter where they were. Truly the only reason why Dubai was the highlight was because they were able to argue somewhere exciting.

"What do you want Richard?" She bit impatiently.

"Aren't you going to invite me into your home?"

"Absolutely not." Her arms crossed firmly over her chest and she inched herself over so that she was blocking the doorway. This only amused Richard more and there was a glint in his eye. He had always loved flustering Mary. "What. Do. You. Want?"

Richard shifted on his feet.

"I want Grantham House." At that, Mary burst into a fit of laughter.

"You must be kidding." But Richard didn't even flinch.

"I'm not, Mary. I want you to sell me Grantham House at a fair price."

Mary inhaled sharply.

"Grantham House is not mine. It won't be Matthew's until my father has passed. I'm not sure how you expect me to get my father to sell you his estate."

"Oh, I'm sure you can find a way, Mary. You're cunning. You know how to get what you want."

"But this is not what I want," Mary harshly replied. "One day it will all belong to my son. I will not have you take that from him."

"You will," Richard disagreed. He stepped forward, making Mary step back. "You will, Mary, if you want your little secret to be kept. What do you think would hurt your son worse? Losing a piece of property or knowing all the little dark secrets of his mother? Think of the scandal this would cause."

"You and Kemal would have gotten along wonderfully," Mary seethed. "You are both despicable human beings."

Richard smiled. "Have your parents sell me the house."

"I won't do it."

Richard didn't flinch.

"You will," he repeated. "You have one week for me to hear something, before there are consequences."

Mary took in a deep breath. Then she stepped back and slammed the door. Once she was safely hidden behind the wood, Mary's head fell against it and a loud sob escaped her lips. What was she going to do?

-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-

There was a harsh pounding between her eyes and Anna brought her hand up to message at her temple. Over the past couple of days, the headaches had gotten worse, as well as the morning sickness. The tablets that the doctor had prescribed to Anna were now barely touching the sickness and she didn't dare up the dose. The last thing she wanted was for any harm to come to her babies.

Her hand came to brush over her stomach and she looked at her refection in the mirror before her. Her cheeks were pale and her lips chapped. Bending over, she splashed her face with water and hoped that would help her to feel better. The last thing she wanted was for John to worry.

As she stood back up, Anna pulled the letter back from her back pocket. She now carried it with her wherever she went. Part of her wondered if it wasn't the cause of how deathly she felt. It pestered at her very existence. It was all she could think about.

She crumbled the paper up within her hand and threw it into the waste bin at her feet. But the moment it hit the rubbish, she bent over and lifted it back up. Nearly frantic, she started to rub her hand against the paper to straighten it. She felt weird about her obsession with this piece of paper and the words that were on it. Tears sprung to her eyes, as she folded it back and placed it into its place in her pocket.

Then she stepped forward and opened the blinds in the bathroom, unsurprised to find her mother standing below. She was always here now, every day, for an hour in the morning. Her mother never left that one spot. Like clockwork, Anna knew where to find her.

-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-

John stepped up the stairs, frowning when he saw that Anna's breakfast was untouched at the table. He had noticed that her sickness had begun rearing its ugly head back again. It was worrying to him. He knew Anna to minimize when she was in pain and not wanting to worry him, but it only seemed to concern him more, because he couldn't be quite sure just how horrible she truly felt.

He wanted to suggest they hire a new full time worker for the restaurant. They had the funds and he didn't want Anna overdoing it right now. But he knew his wife. He would have to be careful with his wording or else she would get offended and suggest that she was perfectly capable of handling all of the full time duties at Servants' Hall, as well as caring for Jack and the two babies.

When he entered the bathroom, he was surprised to find Anna standing at the window, peering out of it. Her shoulders were tense and her entire body was rigid. She was so intently into her viewing, that she hadn't heard John step behind her. When his hand touched her shoulder, she nearly jumped out of her skin.

Turning to face him, John saw that her skin was pale, nearly white as the tile on the countertop.

"Anna," he breathed, concerned. Anna only shook her head.

"I'm sorry," she murmured.

"Perhaps, you should rest today."

"I'll be fine," Anna ensured him. "I just need to eat my breakfast."

"Alright," John replied, knowing that now was not the time to argue with his wife. Anna kissed his cheek and then walked out of the room. It was then that John glanced out of the window, finding Sandra standing where she always stood. Immediately, his blood boiled. How dare that woman come here, day after day, and just stand there like that? He was tired of letting it go and tired of letting that woman hurt his wife.

John furiously shut the blinds and then turned. He saw that Anna was sitting on the couch next to Jack, chewing on a cracker. He kissed the top of her head and told her that he had to speak with Alfred about something on the menu.

When he was out of their home, he headed right down the stairs and outside to walk toward Sandra. His heart was racing and he had to control himself from screaming at her right as he reached her. She seemed surprised by his presence and she stepped back slightly, swallowing hard.

"Why are you here?" John spat. "Actually, no, stop coming here. I don't care why you are here. We don't want you near us."

"This is public property. You don't own this street," Sandra simply replied. Though she acted as though she was not afraid of John, he could tell that she was. She had stepped further away from him and held her body tightly.

"No," he agreed, trying to remain cool and collected. "I do not. But this is upsetting to my wife. You and she do not have a relationship. And I can ring the police about you stalking her."

"She is my daughter," Sandra snipped back. "I have a grandson. I deserve to know them."

"Jack is not your grandson," John tightened his lips. "Maybe by blood, but that doesn't automatically mean he is yours."

"I will come here daily until Anna responds to my letter," Sandra then said, her eyes on the building before her.

John felt as though cold water had been splashed against his face. "What letter?"

"I wrote her a letter a week ago, asking her to let me back into her life."

A feeling of betrayal seeped into John's bones. Anna had never mentioned any letter to him. Hadn't they promised not to keep any secrets?

"She must not have gotten it," John said, though he knew it wasn't true. There had been something off with his wife this past week, something he hadn't been able to put his finger on. And now he knew. It was the letter.

"She did," Sandra disagreed. She glanced down at her watch. "I won't leave it alone until she responds." Then she turned and walked away.

John remained locked in his spot for several minutes, this news whirling around in his head. His first thought was to rush upstairs and demand Anna tell him what the letter said. But his sense was knocked into him and he knew that would be the wrong approach. He understood why Anna might want to keep this from him. He was already concerned enough about her and the babies; he knew how she didn't like worrying him. He also knew that Anna still struggled with her past and didn't like to speak about it, even with him. Her relationship, or lack thereof, with her mother was a sensitive subject.

He sighed.

Taking in a deep breath, John made his way back inside their home and saw Anna helping Jack put on his shoes. He smiled and stepped forward, sitting down next to them. He knew Anna would tell him when she was ready.

-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-

"That bastard," Matthew fumed, pacing the length of their bedroom. When Mary had called him to tell him of Richard's appearance, he had headed right back to their home. He found Mary sitting silently on the couch, almost as though she was lost within her thoughts. The moment he touched her thigh, she had broken into sobs.

Now she was silent again, watching him, as he lost his temper before her. He couldn't believe that this was happening. It had been several years; Mary had gotten better. While he knew that this was not something she could ever fully heal from, Mary was a warrior. But this was taking her back to where she had started. He could see the shame on her face, shame that didn't belong there. This was nothing for her to be ashamed of. Kemal, and now Richard, were the ones who should be ashamed of themselves.

Matthew inhaled, before taking a seat beside his wife. She was slowly crumbling before him, while still trying to keep up her calm, cool demeanor. But she had never been able to deceive him. He always knew when she was struggling.

"What do you want to do?" He calmly question. He realized he hadn't asked Mary what she wanted. If she wanted to sell Grantham House, then they would find a way to convince Robert and Cora to do it. If she didn't want to, then they would find another way to shut Carlisle down. He would not allow that man to hurt his wife more than he already had.

"We can't lose Grantham House," Mary cried, her voice breaking. "That's to be yours and then George's!" Mary's breaths began to come in uneven pants. Matthew hadn't experienced one of Mary's anxiety attacks in many years now. She used to get them often after they married and then even more so after his accident that nearly took his life.

Giving her some space, Matthew helped her through the attack. He knew just the right words to say and how not to overwhelm her while she was in one. Finally, she settled and her head rested against Matthew's chest. He held her tightly and kissed the top of her head.

"We'll figure it out," he promised.

Mary didn't speak. His hand pressed against her back and he then ran his fingers up and down the length of her spine.

A knock came at their door and he glanced up to find Nanny and George standing in the doorway.

"Is everything alright?" He questioned Nanny.

"George insists his stomach hurts," Nanny informed him and Mary. "He's been crying for about twenty minutes now. He doesn't have a fever, but he says he wants his mummy."

Mary looked up and wiped under her eyes, reaching her arms out for her son. George unlatched his hand from Nanny's and rushed to Mary, jumping up into her lap. Her lips pressed against his temple and she began to rock him back and forth.

"Thank you, Nanny," Matthew said, dismissing her from their room.

"What's the matter, darling?" Mary asked down to George. The little boy glanced up and shook his head.

"It hurts, Mummy."

Mary's brows furrowed. "This is the third time this has happened. Perhaps, we should ring for the doctor?"

Matthew nodded in agreement, though he was starting to see a pattern to George's upsets. For now, though, he decided not to mention it to Mary. Plus, it would be best to have a doctor's opinion in case it was something more serious.

-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-

Mary entered the empty Servants' Hall, happy to find Anna alone at the front counter. It was a Monday, and so the business was closed for the day. Mary had hoped to see her friend alone. They had plenty to discuss since it had been over a week since the two of them had seen each other last.

"Mary," Anna warmly greeted. She placed the rag on the counter top and walked around, pointing at a seat for Mary to take. Then she sat across from her. Mary instantly noticed how thin and pale Anna appeared. If it weren't for the obvious belly, Mary wouldn't know Anna was pregnant. She was losing weight instead of gaining it. This made Mary frown.

"You look awful."

"Thank you?" Anna sarcastically said.

"Well, if I'm not going to tell you, then who is? Do you want me to just let you look like that around other people?"

Anna laughed, but Mary's frown only deepened.

"Have you been to the doctor?"

"I'm fine," Anna brushed off.

"You don't look fine."

"I am. How are you? I feel terrible that I haven't called you more."

Mary sat back slightly within her chair. This was their lives now. The two of them were both terribly busy, but they always found themselves drawn back to one another when things got hard. They were family, after all.

"Well, a lot has happened," Mary began. She then explained to Anna about her visit with Richard and how the date of his blackmail was tomorrow. Anna sat quietly before her, taking it all in. Mary could see that her hands were balled in fists, but that she was trying to remain calm.

"But he wouldn't…." Anna trailed off, before shaking her head. "Of course he would. He's an ass."

"He is" Mary agreed. She let out a loud exhale. "I don't know what to do." Mary admitted. She pressed her fingertips against the bridge of her nose and tried to keep from falling apart. Mary hated to feel out of control, but it seemed to be all she felt lately.

Anna opened her lips to speak, but Mary interrupted.

"Tell me about you, please," Mary insisted. She needed not to think about Richard Carlisle and his threats right this moment.

"I'm fine." Mary knew she was lying.

"Now try the truth."

Anna sighed. She pulled a crumpled paper out of her back pocket and handed it to Mary. Quickly looking over it, Mary angrily twisted her lips.

"Who does that woman think she is?"

Anna only shook her head, as her eyes glassed over with tears.

"You told her no, right? What does John say about all of this?"

"I haven't told him," Anna confessed. "I haven't told anyone. I don't know what to do."

Mary's face softened and she scooted her chair so that she was closer to Anna.

"What do you want?"

"I want my mother to be sorry." Anna's face was full of disappointment.

"I know, but you can't control her actions, only yours."

Anna wiped under her eyes. "It's been all I can think about. I can hardly sleep. I can't believe I didn't just throw it in the bin. I did try once, but I can't let it go."

"Then don't," Mary simply said. "You don't have to have an answer today, but you should tell John."

Anna nodded and Mary knew that Anna already knew that she should. There were times when Anna could be just as stubborn as she was, trying to fix her own problems without any help.

"I am really sorry," Mary then said.

"I'm sorry too."

"Look at us, Anna. We sure know how to do the drama, don't we?" That made Anna laugh.

"We certainly do."

-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-

Walking into her office, Edith was surprised to find a thin envelope that had been slid under her front door. Curious, she bent over and lifted it up. When she opened it, her eyes widened. Inside was a list of the names from Pamuk's book of conquests. As she read over the list, she was amusingly surprised by the name right in the middle of the paper: Mary Crawley.

Why yes, this was interesting information, indeed.