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Chapter 7

It had been over an hour since they had taken Anna back and John still hadn't heard a word about how his wife was doing. He paced up and down the small hallway, trying to keep from bursting through the doors to demand to know about his wife.

The ride in the ambulance had felt like a lifetime. He had held onto Anna's hand tightly, but she hadn't awoken. Her skin had been pale and clammy and her breaths had been uneven. The moment they had arrived at hospital, she had been pulled out and rushed inside. John was left behind, told to wait.

Fear consumed him. He knew there was a very real chance that he could lose both Anna and the babies. That fact made John's heart constrict and a lump form in the base of his throat. He didn't know what he would do if he lost them. What would he tell Jack?

Thinking of his son, made John check his phone. He had left so quickly that Alfred and Ivy had offered to watch him. He knew that Jack was in good hands and John was so grateful that so many people loved is son.

There were no texts about Jack, so John assumed his son was alright. But Jack had never been away from him nor Anna overnight. John did worry how Jack would do once it grew dark outside.

"Mr. Bates?" The voice came behind John and he turned to find the doctor. The doctor appeared stressed and concerned. Despite all of his years of training, this doctor was not able to cover up his worry about Anna. John's heart dropped.

"How is my wife?"

"Her sugar levels are very low," the doctor answered. "We are working on bringing those levels up."

"But you can bring them up," John asked.

"That is what we are trying to do, Mr. Bates," the doctor replied, then he sighed. "The efforts we're trying are showing some progress."

"Can I see her? I need to see her."

"Yes, Mr. Bates, right this way."

John followed behind the doctor. He realized he was being led to the maternity ward. They turned a corner and the doctor pointed into Anna's room. John's breath caught in his throat. Anna was hooked up to many machines and there was an IV in her arm. He was surprised when her head turned toward him and he saw she was awake.

With quick steps, he made his way to sit next to her.

"My darling," he breathed.

"I….John…" Anna's voice broke. He grasped at her hand, bringing it up to kiss along her knuckles.

"Take it easy," he murmured.

Anna pressed her other hand to her temple.

"I feel…" Anna could barely get the words out. John just shushed her and kissed her knuckles again.

"Don't overdo it. Just rest. I'm here," he promised her. Anna's eyes closed back and her head fell against the pillows. John inhaled sharply. He couldn't lose her.

-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-

When Matthew arrived home, he was surprised to find Nanny still at the house. Usually by this time, she had been let off duty. He walked into the living room to find George crying and Nanny attempting to console him.

"What's wrong?" Matthew questioned. Nanny glanced up and gave him a solemn smile.

"His stomach is hurting him again and he wants Lady Mary," Nanny explained. "But she's been upstairs for a few hours now."

Matthew's eyes moved up to the staircase and he felt his chest grow heavy. He hadn't heard from Mary since she headed off to speak with Edith several hours before. There had been something nagging him, telling him he should probably head home earlier. However, work had been swamped and he hadn't been able to leave.

Matthew picked up George from Nanny's lap and the little boy immediately molded against him. His little cheek pressed against Matthew's chest and he could feel the tears soaking his top.

"Thank you, Nanny," Matthew said. "Take tomorrow off." He knew Nanny had been stretched thin lately with all of this upset. They paid her a nice yearly salary, but even then he knew they didn't need to push her too much. They would be lost without her help.

Nanny gave George a loving pat on his back and then left through the front door.

"George, why don't we put on Bluey and I go upstairs and speak with Mummy."

"No," George determinedly stated, looking up. "I want Mummy."

"I know you do," Matthew soothed. "You are my empathetic little one, aren't you?" His brows furrowed. George shrugged his shoulders.

"I don't know what that means," George replied. Matthew only nodded.

"It just means you feel what others feel strongly." George still didn't seem to understand. "Just a few minutes of Bluey and then you can see your mummy, okay?"

George frowned, but replied, "Okay."

Matthew was able to set George on their sofa and then make his way upstairs to check on his wife.

When he entered their bedroom, he found all of the lights turned off and the blinds drawn closed. Mary was curled up away from the door. Matthew's brows furrowed. This was not his wife. She was not one to allow life to hold her down. She was one who fought tooth and nail to get what she wanted.

"Mary," he whispered, coming in further. He sat down on the edge of the bed and Mary lifted her head to look at him.

"I hate her," Mary only said.

"You hate….?" Matthew paused, it hitting him. "Oh. You don't hate your sister, Mary." He shook his head, scooting closer toward her.

"Yes, yes, I do."

"No, you don't."

"She has the list, Matthew. She told my parents that I was on it."

"She what?"

"As I said, I hate her," Mary nearly growled. As Matthew moved closer to his wife, he saw that her cheeks were red and puffy from all the crying she had been doing.

"That wasn't kind," Matthew agreed. "But she's your sister. You don't hate her. Angry at her, yes, but not hate."

Mary only grumbled and rested her head back against the pillows. Matthew was about to say something else, when he heard the doorbell ring. He patted Mary's foot.

"I'll be back."

Matthew made his way back down the stairs. Opening the door, he was surprised to find Cora standing in the doorway.

"May I speak with Mary?"

-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-

Nurses and doctors had been in and out of Anna's room several times to check on both Anna and the babies. Each time one of them came in, there was a look of worry and concern on their faces. And every time, that concern grew more. Yet, no one would answer any of John's questions. John was tired of being kept in the dark over his wife's condition.

Anna would wake up randomly, but only for a short while, before being too weak and falling back asleep.

Tears flooded John's eyes and he worked hard to keep them from spilling. He needed to know that Anna and his children were going to be alright.

"Mr. Bates," the first doctor he saw called to him from the doorway. John stood. He had seen so many doctors and nurses that John was struggling to remember any of their names. He followed the doctor into the hallway and watched as the doctor twisted his lips to one side before speaking. "Despite all of our attempts to manage Mrs. Bates' blood sugar, none of them are working. Her blood sugar will spike and then fall rapidly back down. We think that she may have gestational diabetes, but we can't be sure."

"Women have that all the time during pregnancy. I've heard of it. Surely, there must be something we can do."

"We're trying it all, Mr. Bates." The doctor frowned, causing the lines in his forehead to crease. "But if we can't get this under control soon, we will need to deliver the babies. Your wife's life is at stake."

"Deliver the babies? She's only twenty weeks. The babies wouldn't survive."

"No," the doctor gravely agreed. "They will not."

"There must be something else!"

"I promise you that we are working as hard as we can to figure this out. Here," the doctor handed him a sheet of paper. "I need you to sign this."

"What is it?"

"It's paperwork that gives us permission to deliver the babies if we determine it is needed. This keeps us from asking you when it is touch and go, so that we can just rush your wife for the operation."

The tears spilled then.

"I don't want to lose them," John whispered. The doctor's hand came up to rest on his shoulder.

"We don't want to either, but to give your wife the best chance, I need you to sign that paperwork. I'll come back for it in a little while, give you some time to read over it and make your decision."

-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-

Mary heard the creak of the door behind her and she sat up, guessing that it was Matthew. She was quite surprised to find her mother standing in the doorway. Mary took in a deep breath and sat up straighter.

"I wish you had told me," Cora only began, her voice soft and full of love. She made her way to Mary and sat down next to her daughter.

"Told you what? That I slept with Pamuk? That I am a slut?" Mary stated contrarily. Her mother only shook her head and placed her hand over Mary's.

"I never thought that," she strongly stated. "But I think Edith feels terribly for assuming the worst and coming to us with that information instead of you."

"So, you've come to take up for Edith then?" Mary tightened her jaw.

"No, I've come to tell you that I am so sorry about what happened to you, Mary." Her mother's words were sincere. "I wish you had felt like you could tell me."

Mary could feel her strong resolve fading.

"I don't like to speak of it," she then whispered. But she quickly slipped her mask back on and straightened her shoulders. "It really wasn't Edith's place to tell you what really happened to me, either."

"It wasn't," Cora replied. "But she wanted to make it right. She only told me the truth, not your father. I was going to see what you wanted me to do."

"I want it all to go away, Mama." Mary allowed the vulnerability to slip through again. "I was doing perfectly fine until this story broke about Pamuk and that damn book of his. And now Richard Carlisle is blackmailing me. He swears he's going to put everything Pamuk wrote about me in the papers."

"Richard Carlisle? What on earth does he want?"

Mary just shook her head. She wasn't sure she wanted to involve her parents that much in all of this. If they knew, they may just hand it over. Mary didn't want that.

"You know this is something that will always haunt me, Mama. But with Matthew's help and some therapy, I have been able to move forward. But now….it's like it's all coming back and I'm struggling to keep it together."

Cora's hands grasped at Mary's and she held them tightly.

"You're allowed to not be perfect every moment of every day, Mary. Perhaps your father and I put too much pressure on you when you were younger. But it is okay to struggle. It's okay not to be able to keep it together right this minute. However, you will come out on the other side. Your father and I will do anything that we can to help you through this."

A shaky breath passed through Mary's lips. Then her mother unhooked their hands and grabbed a paper from her back pocket, before sliding it into Mary's lap.

"What's this?"

"The list of names. Edith says she wants nothing to do with it, but thought that you should have it."

Mary made a face. Giving her the list was not going to suddenly absolve Edith of what she had done.

"I'm actually surprised I found you here at your home."

"Why is that?"

"I thought for sure you'd be at the hospital."

Mary's brows knitted. "Why would I be at hospital?"

"Bates called your father. Anna was rushed there hours ago. He said she was not doing well at all."

-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-

It took little time for Mary to find John. She found him sitting on the floor outside of the bedroom where she had been told Anna was staying. John didn't look like the John Mary knew. His hair was disheveled and his face covered in thick tears. He didn't even glance up when he heard footsteps near him.

Not knowing what else to do, Mary slid down on the floor next to him. Her heart ached. She was afraid to ask just how Anna was doing. Last time she had seen her friend, she hadn't looked great. Maybe she should have pushed harder for Anna to go and see the doctor.

"What are they saying?" Mary finally asked. John let out a low breath and looked at Mary. His eyes were full of heartbreak.

"They're struggling to get her sugar levels steady. We could lose her, Mary." Mary felt her breath leave her, as though she had been punched in the gut.

"What…. Surely…." She was at a loss for words.

"The doctor…he…." John shook his head and more tears spilled from his eyes. "He wants me to sign this."

"What is it?"

"It gives him permission to deliver the babies if Anna gets too poorly and there is nothing else they can try. But I can't sign it, Mary. If I sign this, I am signing away my children's lives. Delivering the babies now would be a death sentence to them. Anna…she'd never forgive me."

Mary took the forms from John's hand and looked it over. Then she placed it on the floor between her and John.

"You know you have to sign this, John," Mary strongly stated.

"I can't," John disagreed.

"If you don't sign this, we could lose all three of them. You aren't choosing between the twins and Anna. You are choosing between losing them all or losing the twins. And there is a chance you won't lose any of them, but they need this, John. If things get really bad, you'll not just lose the twins, you'll lose Anna too. And you can't do that. And I don't mean for you or for me, I mean for Jack. He can't lose his mother."

A muffled sob escaped John's lips, as he covered his face with his hand.

"I don't want to lose her. I don't want to lose any of them." His shoulders shook.

"I know," Mary said, her own tears threatening to escape. "But you have to sign this. You know you do."

John glanced up and gave Mary a grave nod. "I do."

To be continued...