It's Duncan time. Duncan time, Duncan time. Fanfic writing season!
Woo it's been a hot minute hasn't it? But we finally got this chapter out! :D
Chapter 6
It's Duncan Time!
"Owen, where did you hide my car keys?"
Noah walked around the apartment trying to look for them to no avail.
"Aw don't worry about that Noah", Owen came in putting on his green plaid jacket. "I'm going to drive you to places. I don't want you to have to drive around in your state."
"Ok but what about AFTER the baby?"
"Don't worry. After the baby's born they'll be back in your hands. Well I guess unless you find them first before the 5 months or so are over."
"...You don't remember where you hid them, do you?"
Owen started to sweat and look nervous, but didn't say anything. But that silence said everything.
"That's what I thought."
Noah's attention turned to the loud snoring on his couch. And there was Duncan, without a care in the world, snoozing the noon away like he owned the place.
"Until the baby comes." Noah thought back to the time limit he gave Duncan to stay. At least 5 months to find his own place or someone else's couch to crash before he had to leave. And from the looks of it, he was in no rush to try and find it.
Noah poked Duncan one time, like a cat would, before going full cat and turning him to fall on the floor. Duncan jolted up as he fell down to the floor. "What the heck happened?!"
"You turned in your sleep and fell", Noah said. To his credit, it was the half-truth. "But while you're awake, Owen and I are heading out. I have an ultrasound, we almost forgot about it."
"Ok", Duncan laid back down on the couch, intending to go back to sleep. But before he could, Noah swiped the pillow from the couch and Duncan's head landed on the cushions. "Hey! What'd you do that for?!"
"While we're gone, Gwen's coming by to start painting the baby's room. Make sure she isn't gonna stiff us or turn the nursery into a River Styx."
"Can do", Duncan shrugged it off. Just show her where the room was, and leave her to paint. Nice and easy.
"Also", Noah pointed Duncan over to behind the couch. People up against the wall was a large cardboard box. "Put together that crib over there."
"What", Duncan couldn't believe it. Putting him to work on a Saturday. "Why do I have to do it? Couldn't you just pay somebody?"
"You've been living here rent-free for a month and a half, and have done absolutely nothing but eat our cereal and hog our TV. Put the crib together." Noah looked so tired thinking back on how long this punk has been here.
"Alright I gotta go", Noah finished instructing the punk and walked out towards the door. "If I come back and I don't find a crib, I better not find you."
Duncan watched their backs as they closed the door. He looked back on the cardboard box with the unbuilt crib inside. He carelessly tore the box open and dumped out all the contents (loudly) on the floor. He looked on the instructions taped to the box and opened them. Only got them to comically unfold past his feet all over the floor.
There was no way he was gonna put this together. Duncan realized he was gonna need some help
Someone who was smart. Someone with an impressive array of skills. Someone who would know exactly what to do.
KNOCK! KNOCK!
Duncan opened the door to greet a brunette jock.
"Hey man", Tyler looked ecstatic and started to walk in. "Sorry Harold couldn't make it to help you out."
Duncan shrugged. His first instinct was to call Harold, but he was busy today with a lot of sound editing on a movie project. So he called on Tyler since he was around town. "Ah it's fine."
"But, I did bring someone else along", Tyler pointed back to him and a certain Spanish ex-villain entered the room.
"Duncan...how wonderful to see you again", Alejandro still held a large presence after a decade and no cameras.
"Same to you, La Cucuracha", Duncan ribbed Alejandro in the shoulder.
"Well I was
"Alright guys", Tyler tried to psyche them up. "This crib is going DOWN!"
Alejandro placed a hand on Tyler's shoulder. "Tyler the crib is already down", he pointed out that little sentence flaw.
"Oh. Right", Tyler laughed, a little embarrassed, before correcting himself. "This crib is going UP!"
He bent down to take a piece, before tripping on a rod and falling onto the ground. Duncan and Alejandro looked at each other, unphased by Tyler's enthusiastic clumsiness. This was about to be an experience.
KNOCK! KNOCK! KNOCK!
Duncan opened the door to see Gwen, carrying various paint cans and brushes.
"Hey Pasty", he leaned against the door frame to his old ex. "How's it going?"
"Dude, save it", Gwen ribbed him with her elbow, but smiled. It was in good jest. "I'm just here to put on the first coat."
You wouldn't think that after everything that happened to them in their teens with the whole love triangle, they wouldn't be alright with each other. But after a couple of years, they started talking more casually again. It just took a little time, maturity, and the writer disregarding the whole love triangle entirely for the story.
"Nursery's gonna be down the hall, first door on the right", Duncan pointed down the hall. "The nerd said not to turn it into the River Styx."
Gwen sighed. "Yeah, no graveyards. No Grim Reaper. No skeletons. This kid is gonna miss out on all of it."
"True. But I was thinking, their bathroom has been looking a little plain", Duncan's face turned into a mischievous grin. "Could use a makeover."
Gwen soon matched Duncan's grin, and picked up some black paint cans. "I know exactly what you mean."
"Hey Duncan", Alejandro's voice interrupted them. "I think that rod you have is the right one that fits in this slot."
Tyler laughed. "That's what-"
"Tyler if you say that ONE MORE TIME I SWEAR-"
"Hey would you guys relax" Duncan called back, holding the rod in his other hand. "I'm trying to do my second job!"
"What are you guys doing?", Gwen noted the rod.
"I got put to work building a crib", Duncan grumbled. "And today of all days. I'm missing Ink Genius right now!"
"Oh I feel that", Gwen shook her head in solidarity. "I still don't know HOW Heather got on that show."
"She does surprisingly good art", Duncan shrugged.
"Duncan", Alejandro's voice shouted out. "We need to get the rod in now!"
"... that's what-"
"TYLER!"
Duncan and Gwen quickly heard a crash out of the room.
"I gotta go", Duncan ran back to keep Tyler from getting hurt….too bad.
"Ok so Ale, take the jail bar thingy and stick in the screwy thingy", Tyler told them, holding an ice pack over his fresh bruising black eye. "And Duncan, your leg piece is going under-over the big board."
"Was that English?"
Oh Duncan it was English. It wasn't proper English, but it was English nonetheless.
"This is gonna take forever", Duncan groaned. "I just want to get out of here before Noah complains about an eel in his apartment."
"Yes", Alejandro rolled you. "We wouldn't want to inconvenience you with that sarcastic seahorse."
"Wait, are we sea animals now? Gasp! Can I be a stingray?" Tyler raised his hand excitedly.
"With your brain, you're more like a starfish", Duncan quipped.
"Oh...cool! Like Patrick!"
Suddenly Gwen's scream broke out from the hall. Duncan threw his leg piece towards Tyler, who caught it. But at the expense of tumbling in Alejandro, and what little they had built. Duncan ran to Noah and Owen's bathroom.
"Gwen", he called out to the artist. "What's going...WHAT THE-?!"
And then came a camera flash in the bathroom.
"This is JUST what I need for the blog", a third voice popped up. From a certain Total Drama uber fan.
"Sierra", Duncan asked incredulously. It's not like he didn't recognize her, he'd know that purple hair and crazy stalker eyes from anywhere. But he didn't expect to see them here, in a private place. "What the heck are you doing here?!"
"Pictures", and then there was another flash from her camera. "I need to get on all the findings I can get tracking the two stars expecting their little bundle of joy."
"Look
"Oh yeah. From that little article you posted as soon as Izzy told you-"
"Oh Izzy told me two weeks before that article", Sierra interrupted. "Believe me I wanted to post that then and there, but I had no evidence. So I had to do some digging. At first I found the positive pregnancy test in the trash of the McDaniels. You know the one them and Eva got kicked out of. But then after I decided to go more specific. So a few days later, when you guys left for an episode shoot I managed to open one of the windows. And through that I looked around and found in their bathroom that it was definitely him. Because there in the back of their cabinet, I found a hidden case of pre-natal vitamins, right behind bottles of indigestion pills. Owen definitely wouldn't look behind those cause he never takes those pills, even with all the fights. I remember this one fight I heard outside their walls while I was scoping after their honeymoon-"
Duncan watched as Sierra droned on about the various things in their bathroom cabinets. He knew she was another level of crazy, but seemed to always be amazed at how many levels of crazy she would really cross into.
"Sierra?"
"Yes?"
"How many times have you been here while we were gone?"
"Don't worry Duncan", Sierra patted Duncan's back. "I haven't told anyone how you've been living here. Though it is tempting."
Gwen and Duncan's mouths were agape as they looked at each, thinking the same thing; this woman was crazy. And also to change their locks.
"Look, I know you got your obsess- I mean, job, but you can't just go breaking into here when they're not around."
"Aww. But my followers are depending on me to find out about this. You wouldn't believe the kind of money they'd usually pay for-"
"Wait a minute." He turned around to Sierra. Suddenly this had some promise.
"Did you say money?"
Sierra nodded. Duncan stroked his chin. I mean, if he was here, it wasn't like she was alone….right?
"Duncan", Gwen started to say. "Whatever you're thinking, it's a bad idea "
"How is gaining a little extra money and helping a bad idea? They'll be happy, I'll be getting off their couch sooner."
"Yeah, by letting Sierra into their house."
"If they didn't know she's been here before, how are they gonna learn now?"
Duncan turned his attention back to the woman at hand.
"Sierra. Can I offer you a deal?"
_
Back to the disaster trio, who were taking a new approach to crib building.
"Ow! I got it in, but I can't put these nails with the base on my head", Alejandro complained.
"Yeah. Tyler, can't we just put the crib sideways again?"
"No, this is good. If we work upside down, we can build the crib backwards to be rightside-up."
"I want to complain, but that's the smartest thing you've said today", Duncan griped, trying again putting the bars in.
On the couch near them a pack of corgis were sleeping the day away. At least they were, until a loud firetruck siren wailed by the apartment. At the sound, the 5 jumped off and started howling and running around.
"Aw crap. The dogs!", Duncan started to move, but the base started to slide off his head.
"Ow! Duncan, not so fast-", Alejandro tried to call out, before being crushed under the base
"Heheh. That's what-", Tyler didn't even finish before the crib side fell on his foot. "OW! Ow, ow, ow!"
Suddenly the 2 men were trapped under the crib like a prison, as Tyler hopped on one foot in pain. The corgis continued howling, and two jumped on the crib to howl louder. Another one, London, tripped Tyler and he fell into the large box.
"HEY SHUT UP!", Duncan shouted to the corgis, still howling and acting the fool. It was pure chaos.
Then all of a sudden, the corgis stopped howling. The siren had stopped. With their crisis averted, they moved back to the couch to resume sleeping, as if nothing had ever happened. Then another sound came out in the apartment, footsteps.
"Ok Duncan. The bathroom's all done", Gwen came out snickering. "Man the look on their faces when they see-"
She stopped talking as she looked at the 3 men entangled in crib Twister.
"What are you doing", she asked incredulously.
"Isn't it obvious", Duncan tried to feign off how much they screwed up. "We're putting this crib together."
"Together?" Gwen came over and turned the crib around to get the men out. "Into what? A bonfire?"
As soon as Gwen let go of the crib, what was built came tumbling right back down. As soon as it did, Duncan groaned and kicked it.
"This is POINTLESS! This crap is never gonna get built!"
"Well at we least we tried", Alejandro gave Duncan a sympathy pat. "I'm out of here. Adios."
"What?!"
And just like that, Alejandro was out the door.
"I gotta go too" Tyler started to also walk out. "He's my ride."
And soon the starfish was out.
"Great friends I have there", Duncan rolled his eyes. "Well my stuff's not gonna pack up itself."
"So you 3 couldn't put it together, even with the instructions?"
Duncan stared for a moment. "Instructions?"
Gwen moved towards the box the crib had laid in and then pulled out a small booklet.
"...Tyler", Duncan growled and put his fist in his hand. He would have to make their next visit pretty soon.
Gwen laughed and handed them to Duncan. "Well, there's still time to keep your spot on the couch. Unless you want to take my offer-"
"Considering the amount of pencils I sat on last time, I think I'll pass", Duncan joked and started looking at the instructions. "You gonna head back to your art hoard?"
"Yeah, I did my job", Gwen started to snicker. "And a little extra with their redone bathroom."
"I know", Duncan snickered. "I can't wait to see the look on his face."
"Well at least the door's still propped up."
Noah and Owen approached their apartment, back from the doctor's. Owen looked pretty happy, while Noah looked tired and annoyed. And probably not just from the physical pain of forming a life.
"Not sure if I can say about the rest of the place yet."
He was not looking forward to coming back. He knew at best he'd come back to that crib sitting in the same box where it was this morning, completely untouched. And at worst, something inside was on fire.
"Hey", Owen tried to get his hubby's hopes up. "It could be all fine in there."
Noah glared at him. "How long have you known Duncan again?"
Owen shrugged and smiled nervously. This wasn't working out. He decided to open the door first. At least give Noah a warning if anything went south.
What laid there surprised Noah. For inside the apartment there was…..a perfectly normal looking apartment. Everything looked just like how they left it, down to Duncan watching TV with the dogs on the couch.
"Hey dudes", Duncan greeted them nonchalantly, before going back to petting the corgis.
Noah looked to where the box was, but now it was empty.
He walked over to where the nursery was. Inside it, was the crib. All fully set up, in a room with paint cans and a base coat of white paint.
Noah blinked. Nothing was broken, Duncan did what he was asked to…..was he having pregnancy brain?
Owen came in behind him . "Wow! This looks great so far!"
Nope. This was real. This was actually happening.
Noah walked back out to Duncan on the couch. "Thank you...for making the crib."
"Ah, no problem. Was actually pretty easy", Duncan shrugged it off, acting like all that chaos over the chapter didn't happen.
Noah nodded, and left back in the hallway. "Well, I'm gonna go to the bathroom real quick."
Duncan and Owen watched Noah leave. Owen turned back to Duncan with a sonogram picture "If you want you can see how the ultrasound turned ou-"
Owen stopped talking when he noticed the punk snickering. He raised an eyebrow. "What's so funny?"
Duncan didn't answer, but instead held up 3 fingers and counted them down.
3….
2….
1….
"AAAAAAAAAAAAA! OH MY GOD!"
And that was enough to set Duncan into complete hysterics.
"DUNCAN!", Noah's voice rang through the hallway, as he started to walk out with a peeved expression. His face now a little paler with fear and his pants wet. He should've known this was too good to be true.
"You ok nerd?", Duncan snickered. "You look half scared to DEATH there."
"I'm naming the first contraction after you."
props to my tumblr friend the-rat-child for that Heather headcanon, cause I love it now
And to all my pencils I bring to the couch that get stuck in the cushions to only occasionally never see the light of a day til someone sits on them.
Hope you enjoyed it and please review. Reviews are always sappreciated.