I feel like this chapter is missing something... I'd be grateful for any pointers. Hope you enjoy ^^
Chapter VIII
"For the truth my heart never believed in..."
At first, I couldn't really tell what woke me up.
The room around me was normal... it just took a moment before I remembered why exactly was I sleeping in such luxury. There were no sounds, neither from the interior of the castle, nor the mountains outside.
The problem became evident when I tried to search for any presence nearby just in case...
I jolted up, almost knocking the pillow I had my forearm under from the bed. My magic... it was still there, but it felt like it wasn't at the same time. I could sense it in my soul, but there was suddenly something that prevented me from reaching it, like a glass wall that I could see through, but not penetrate...
I looked around again, but there was no one and nothing that suggested another magic was used to suppress mine. But... I've heard of old buildings having protective spells to prevent intruders with magical abilities from harming the inhabitants... Was I experiencing one of their kind reacting to me...?
Getting up, I walked over to the door. I had no idea how late it was, but I hoped to find Sharish still awake, so I could ask if he knew more about what this place was before he and his brother decided to settle down here. I just hoped I would be able to find him among the dozens of chambers...
I never even got the opportunity to face that minor issue.
The door was locked...
I pulled and pushed, giving it all I had, but it didn't as much as budge. Sharish didn't lock it when he left me alone, neither did I, there wasn't even a key in the keyhole... Did that mean that the protective magic included locking the intruder in...? The equally unmoving window surely supported that theory...
Feeling dizzy, I returned to the bed and sat down, drawing some comfort from the softness of the mattress. There was no reason to panic... I was sure Sharish would come get me first thing in the morning and either provide a solution himself, or we would search for one together. My eyes drifted shut again and I started to take deep breaths. There was an explanation and a solution, I just had to wait a bit...
Till the hooting of an owl died out among the branches of nearby trees...
... till the soft sound of some night hunter's paws went past the castle and wandered off into the mist at the south end of the valley...
... till the first rays of sun peeked between the summits, starting to warm up the thick, stone walls...
... and until light footsteps echoed through the hallway outside of my door.
I jumped up and ran over to it. "Sharish?" I asked loudly, a pleading tone sneaking its way into my voice.
"Yes?" came the answer from the other side. He seemed weirdly unconfused by the fact that his guest decided to stay behind a closed door rather than open it and have a face to face conversation.
"Do you know if this castle had some protective spells put on it in the past? It seems something was triggered in the night..."
"Oh? Like what? The door locking? You feeling weaker all of a sudden...?"
So I was right. There were spells. But... why did Sharish sound so... carefree about it...? "Yes...?" I urged him on, noticing some horrible feeling starting to envelop my chest.
"Well then everything is as it should be," that statement was perfectly calm... satisfied even...
"What do you mean...?"
"I mean that my spells have worked properly."
"Your... spells...?"
"Elegant aren't they? Fitting for an Empress."
That couldn't be. He wasn't a mage, he didn't...
No. He just pretended not to be... he even preferred to get injured in order to maintain this image... And the people in Shinestone? Did he make it all up to lure me here or did he just use the circumstances for his benefit and they were now condemned to even more suffering, maybe even death...?
"Why...?" a weak whisper managed to get past my lips.
"Simple... you have something I want..."
"What is it...?"
"Your powers..."
"What...? You... you know that's impossible..."
"And you know that's not true. There is one way..."
I almost took a step back. He couldn't be serious... If he was a mage and knew where my powers came from, he was without a doubt aware what their price was...
He knew I realized what he meant because I heard his silent hiss from the other side of the door: "That's right..."
"I can't..." I tried, "do you have any idea how dangerous it is...?"
"Oh I do," he sounded completely unfazed. "But you've lived with these powers almost your entire life... You know far more about them than those fools in Ilmer did. I believe that if you really tried, you could find a way."
"Even if there is a way... it could take months... years... till I find it... and it might not even work in the end..."
"Well better try your best, because years might be how long you spend here if you don't."
This time I almost stumbled backwards, my knees betraying me. I just barely managed to hold on to the bedpost in the feet of my bedding. "What...?"
"You're going to stay here till you find it. The only way out now... is by giving me every ounce of the magic you were blessed with."
I gripped the cold, enameled bedpost tighter, trying to keep my breath calm. "Why... what do you need them for...?"
"To cleanse this world."
"What...?" my helpless anger turned into confusion for a brief moment.
"I will erase every single non-magical being out there..."
"No..." I whimpered. "Why...?"
"To protect the magical ones of course." It sounded like it was completely obvious to him... There was no doubt in his voice, no regret in his decision, even though it involved eliminating thousands of innocent lives...
Despite his firmness, a part of my mind still seemed to believe that I can convince him otherwise. "That's insane... every being is important if this world is supposed to work properly..."
"Really now... why don't you try telling that to the people who wiped out dragons? Who are hunting mages whenever one of us tries to venture here from the far north? Or the imbeciles who are after the magical beings inhabiting Silivren Forest, because a rare trophy seems to be worth more than their own lives?" He was trying to stay calm, but I could sense the anger rising from somewhere deep within him... "Why are they getting away with wiping out other races, yet it can't work the other way around?"
I didn't have an answer. I knew I never would, because the situation between humans and magical beings in Earlindon became far too complicated over the decades for a single mind to understand all the reasons why. I suddenly had to fight the feeling that I couldn't really blame him. Still... that wasn't the way...
Summoning some strength to my weakened legs, I took a few steps forward again and placed a hand on the smooth walnut wood of the door. "I know..." I spoke slowly, trying to pick words that would improve the situation, not make it worse. "There are some really twisted and cruel individuals out there, who hate us without even really understanding why... But not all of them are like this... If you really have to go after them, just pick the ones who are truly responsible for all that hate... When a tree becomes sick, you don't burn the whole forest down, do you...?"
"And what guarantee will I have that I can pick them all out that way? What will keep them from hiding if their filthy cities stay where they are, if there will be others who can conceal them with lies? What will stop others from stepping onto the wretched path in the future, making this task endless?"
Whether it was just the shock keeping my mind paralyzed or there was no good way out, I didn't have an answer. But that still didn't mean I was just going to agree... "I'm sorry... but I can't let you do that... If you want to take out whoever comes after you, be my guest. But I won't allow you to harm anyone else... let alone with this magic..."
"So you refuse? Even knowing the consequences that await you?"
The corridor outside became silent, not even the sound of Sharish's breath reaching my ears. I would have given a lot to know what he was thinking... What drove him to doing all this... There was no insanity in his words... just bitterness... And he didn't look like the type who was very worried about the fates of others, so it must have been something personal... Maybe there was still a way to reason with him...
"Yes... I refuse..." I answered finally. "You can torment me all you want... I won't make it easier for you to harm innocent people..."
"I see..." Sharish sounded disappointed. "So you are a tool after all..."
"Excuse me?"
"You're but a tool Yasenka Glorifiel. You were used as a tool in Ilmer when you were just a child, all to the benefit of humans. You were used by every single being that came whining for your help over all these years. Now you will be used as a shield they cower behind. And since you seem to enjoy it so much, I'm sure you won't mind if I use you too..."
His footsteps that soon vanished somewhere in the direction of the staircase told me that he wasn't interested in my answer.
Not that I was able to give him one... What he said... repeated with a weird echo in my mind...
A tool...
It sounded way too wrong... and way too right at the same time... Because...
In the end, what else was I to them...?
Back in Ilmer, no one asked me if I was alright with carrying that burden, the responsibility, the change... Not that I would have understood any of it at the age of two, but taking advantage of my unawareness didn't make it any better...
When they all started to flood Silivren Forest seeking help, no one asked about my feelings either. Aiding them seemed obvious to me, so I never tried to give it a deeper thought. But the human race always managed, always survived, whatever fate and environment threw at them, even before they heard of me. They didn't need me to preserve... which meant I was just a tool used for their convenience...
And after I unwittingly accepted that role after all this time, I was simply offering myself as an obstacle between them and Sharish, even though his rage was caused by humans themselves... because I was just used to it... because it felt obvious by now...
I closed my eyes, sinking to my knees.
Who was I to blame Sharish for what he was doing...
The days spent in my luxurious prison were... strange. There were no birdsongs to wake me up in the mornings, only silence or occasional howling of wind. The first to greet me was not Ertralia's sweet voice. It was always a tray with food and a book suddenly and soundlessly appearing on the table by the wall opposite the bed.
For the first two days, I just took the tea or milk that was provided and ignored everything else. I wasn't sure yet if I preferred to stay here doing nothing till Sharish's patience ran out, or to starve myself rather than spend the rest of my days wondering if that would ever happen at all...
The third morning, I took a look into the book, desperate to distract myself from my situation. It was some sort of magic textbook... an advanced one. It contained many various summoning spells, curses... rituals...
It wasn't hard to understand why Sharish was providing me with knowledge. I just wasn't sure if he predicted that by doing so, he sparked an idea in my mind. An idea to not transfer my powers to him, but to start searching for a way to escape.
The magic surrounding my room was unfaltering. It prevented me from using any kind of magic, but that was something that gave me hope the moment I came up with the plan. Because it meant that if he wanted me to perform the ritual, he would have to either lift the spells, or bring me somewhere else, where I would be free to strike using every ounce of knowledge he himself provided me with.
The books kept piling up... they were getting more and more specific, advanced, concentrating around magic that used the elements and analyses of the construction of rituals, to the last detail...
The thirteenth book that appeared before me after the thirteenth sunrise sent shivers down my spine.
It was closer to forbidden magic than anything else till now... It contained mostly spells that no one or only a few have managed to cast, analyzed every step with every single possibility of why and where the magic might have gone wrong. The fact that there were more messily handwritten notes than regular text made it far too realistic... and in the middle of all that... sat a whole chapter about that one ritual...
Moonshard's Blessing...
I didn't know what it was called before and got confused as to why such a name was picked. It seemed weirdly out of place for someone who knew what it was used for. It was complicated... far more than I thought. Already by reading it for the first time, I noticed three small mistakes in the author's analysis, but it seemed that Sharish did too. There were notes around and in between the lines that were made in different handwriting that all the others, and the ink that formed the elegant letters was still relatively fresh, jet black and unfaded.
It was... difficult to read. This methodological and dry approach by people unaware or ignoring the pain and sacrifice it caused whenever it was tried made me nauseous. Nauseous and focused... I was determined not to allow any fool impudent enough to even think of trying this ever again... nor was I going to surrender these powers to anyone who's goal was to harm others...
Finding any further flaws in the reasoning of the people who studied the ritual over the decades seemed impossible. It almost looked like they were about to discover all of the secrets when it was performed in Ilmer, which was why it worked even if hundreds of casualties were the price, and that incident gave Sharish the last bits of information needed to complete the picture.
Which meant... there was either one little piece that went unnoticed, or Sharish already held all he needed in his hand and was just afraid to do it for whatever reason.
But that also meant I needed to be more cautious from now on... If this somehow became common knowledge among mages, it could even lead to deadly conflicts between some of them and cause dozens to come after me. Getting rid of my magic was not an option anymore, if it was possible at all, it would just get snatched away by someone else by the first opportunity. I had to protect them... escape Sharish, maybe even... kill him... make sure this book was destroyed... and maybe... seal my powers away somehow, where no one could find them...
I stood up, leaving the book and the unfinished meal on the table and flopped onto the bed. Never before have I felt so mentally exhausted, and that just after reading... I closed my eyes. As always when I did that, I saw he Silivren Forest... Ertralia... Arneth... master Arakiel... Were they worried...? Or were they just starting to think that something must have happened since I didn't return for so long...? Would I... ever be able to see them again...?
Vivid dreams of my home blessed me at night, giving my mind a bit of fleeting comfort. And, like every morning the past two weeks, I awoke with my head on a pillow moist from tears that my heart seemed to shed even in my sleep...
That next day was... interesting though.
Shortly after receiving my breakfast, which once again I didn't feel like having, I heard voices...
I knew by then that one wall of my bedroom concealed a flue, betrayed by the pleasant heat radiating from the spot every evening and through the nights. Now though, along with the already fading warmth, came two male voices.
One I recognized as Sharish, despite being a little distorted by the thickness of the construction and a slight echo. The other was deeper, spoke calmer... much calmer than Sharish, because the mage sounded almost furious.
I stood by the feet of my bed and pressed my ear to the pleasantly warm bricks to hear them better.
"Isn't that good though?" asked the other man. "The kid is still alive and you can pull him to your side."
"If it weren't for that old fool he would already be here and working with me or dead if he didn't agree to... now there is a risk of his companions finding him, pulling him to their side and teaching him all he needs to know to go against me!"
"So what now?"
Sharish sighed and seemed to think for a moment. "Go back there. Teach that idiot a lesson, you can even kill him, I don't care. As long as you bring me the Disciple unharmed and with his memory restored."
I froze up.
Disciple...?
He was looking for us...? Why...?
"Why are you panicking so much anyway?" the other man still sounded unfazed. "You have the second already here and the third is all the way in Hreshia, where your family had their influence even on the royal family since Ered. There is no risk of that kid just getting snatched away."
My breath got stuck in my chest.
Influence in Hreshia... since Ered? Ered Caydranth...?
Did Sharish give me a false family name as well? Was he the descendant of the very man who lead the last human assault on the dragon race...?
But then why didn't he...
"I don't have the certainty that she's one of them yet. Do you think we just casually talked about it on the way here? Or that she would tell me now, after two weeks in captivity?"
"Then I'm guessing you will be trying to squeeze it out of her somehow. But what about the third? Should I go north after I'm done with the king?"
"No. My brother was complaining that I never let him help much... I will send him there. Besides, I believe him to be way more capable of subtle negotiations than you..."
"Can't argue there..."
"You better worry about the black dragon boy. I want this problem solved, properly..."
"Consider it done."
The conversation cut off and I heard Sharish's heavy sigh. Soon after, barely audible footsteps, muffled by a carpet, told me that he left the room with the conveniently situated fireplace.
I leaned back slightly and stared at the rough surface of the warm-grey stone, my hand still on it.
He was Sharish Caydranth... he carried the blood of the dragon murderer in him...
He was looking for the Disciples of the Last Dragons, to either convince us to aid him or wipe us out...
He was holding me prisoner in order to gain a power that would allow him to erase all human beings in Earlindon, maybe even beyond...
There were only two ways out...
I had to either escape and protect the other Disciples and the human race...
... or I had to take down Sharish Caydranth myself.
After that decision became firm and irrevocable, concentrating on finding a way felt weirdly easy. I quickly realized that just trying to escape would be the way more difficult, or even impossible route. There were two mages - Sharish and his brother, and a third man of who's abilities I wasn't aware, but even if he wasn't in possession of any magical ones, was still dangerous, not hesitating to go as far as killing anyone Sharish wished him to. Alone, I stood little chance, all the more if Sharish had some way of only allowing me to use a part of my magic essential to perform the ritual.
The other way was to eradicate them all and destroy the book containing the secrets of the cursed spell... The sheer idea of it sent shivers down my spine, but it was either me, the Disciples and the human race or those three men... It was cruel to decide between life and life, I had no right to make such decisions, but they left me with no other choice...
At first, I couldn't think of any spells capable of achieving that in one instant, leaving them with no opportunity to strike back... But it didn't take long for it to hit me...
The ritual...
It was the very spell Sharish wanted me to perform, so I would have complete freedom with it... All I had to do was ignore the corrections made to one part of the spell that made it less destructive... and this whole place would be turned into a ruin in an instant, probably... killing us all in the process...
... was there... really no other way...?
If I failed to stop them here, I would put thousands in danger... But... that also meant the end of me... that I wouldn't come home... wouldn't see any one my loved ones ever again... die here alone, leaving them to deal with the pain and grief... Was I... capable of making them go through this for the sake of the human race...? They were... significantly more important to me... But if I didn't...
... I clenched my fists in helpless anger.
Sharish was right...
... I was a tool after all...
The descendant of the Caydranth lineage was overjoyed to hear that I've changed my mind. He promised to prepare everything we might need till the next day and left me alone for yet another twenty for hours.
He was much less overjoyed to hear that the capture of the Disciple of Sariarin the Black Dragon failed miserably. What made him temporarily calm down was the report that his subordinate managed to assassinate the king of Earlindon himself... By then I had no more doubt that these men couldn't be allowed to do as they pleased any longer...
I didn't sleep that night... I wanted to use the time I had left to think about the Silivren Forest, Ertralia, master Arakiel, Arneth... I tried to recall the most beautiful memories I've made with every single member of our camp. The bonds I've established with the forest's animals. With the Guardian... The memories of solitary trips to the southern borders, where I could just spread my wings and fly above the waters, sail on the sunny winds towards freedom...
I wondered if dying would bring the same sensation...
The next morning, even before breakfast arrived in my room, I 'witnessed' yet another conversation...
From the tone and slightly higher level of respect Sharish spoke in, I deduced that the man who paid him a visit in the room with the fireplace was his brother. The topic was the third Disciple, the one who apparently resided in the mountains far north... And the fact that Sharish's brother accepted a request to bring him here for negotiations or assassinate him with such ease gave me goose bumps. Someone with such a gentle voice and polite attitude shouldn't have been so carefree about killing...
The possibility of the younger mage not even being in the stronghold anymore weighted my heart down when Sharish opened the door to my prison for the very first time since the start of my captivity. There was nothing to be done about it though... And I wouldn't have to worry soon anyway...
I allowed Sharish to put shackles on my wrists, ignoring how warm they felt. I was sure they were covered with spells as well, making bringing me to the site of the ritual without 'accidents' possible. I took the book containing all the information that I needed and followed him through the halls of the stronghold. He lead me through countless of them, heading for what seemed to be the northernmost chamber of the whole structure.
What I saw in it wasn't too impressive... but still made the blood in my veins almost freeze solid.
The room was very spacious, five small columns supporting the ceiling around the middle part, where a ray of light fell in through an opening above our heads. Illuminated by the sun in between them stood a rather big, copper incense bowl. As we approached, I noticed a few things in it... a small amount of dirt with a tiny seedling. The bottom of the bowl was full of water, making the poor plant almost drown in it... and it looked like a hornbeam too, one of my favorite trees... A small, ornamental misericorde accompanied the little tree, half-covered by the dirtied water.
Out of the corner of my eye I noticed a tall, broad-shouldered figure in the shadows to my left. It was surely either Sharish's brother or his subordinate, not that I would be able to tell even if I could recognize the features.
Sharish brought me to a stop right by the incense bowl.
"Should you try anything suspicious... me and my friend there will make sure you regret it," he warned as he slowly undid the handcuffs, almost making me gasp at the sensation of magic flowing through my veins again.
"I won't..." I muttered. I was sure he wouldn't be able to react quickly enough to the small changes in the words I was supposed to chant when he wouldn't see me do anything beside concentrating on the ritual...
Taking a deeper breath, I opened the book and ran through the text one last time to make sure I wouldn't mix anything up.
There were exactly two spots at which I wanted to change the ameliorated spell. One was responsible for suppressing the destructive power, which I intended to completely ignore for my own convenience. Second... was the part causing the actual transfer of my powers to Sharish. I wasn't going to risk it in case he survived through some kind of miracle... My magic wouldn't be passed on to anyone. It would be dispersed into infinity...
I lifted my gaze from the black letters upon noticing Sharish picking up the misericorde from the water. Without even wiping it clean, he cut through the skin of his palm, not deep, but just enough for a few droplets of blood to flow out and fall into the bowl. He then handed the blade to me, so I mimicked his actions, the emerald embedded into the guard of the weapon sparkling at me innocently. The mage then took a few steps back, leaving the rest to me.
I dedicated a moment to say a silent prayer and think of everything and everyone I held dear in my life one more time... I really hoped they wouldn't be affected by all this too much... or that the information about my fate never reached them... With one last thought of the Silivren Forest's calming green, my lips started to form the words in elvish, sealing the fate of everyone in the Shinestone stronghold...
To think that this flashback wasn't planned originally... and now it's spread across three chapters XD
I'm sure you will do it justice sweetheart, after all, it's me learning from you all the time and not the other way around ^^ I'm looking forward to your version. And I promise to wait till you catch up now, I've been overdoing it lately XD I'm so glad you think I understand Light... I will always try to understand both him and you as best as I possibly can 3
Thank you to everyone who read, favorited and followed. Till next time, farovable winds my friends~