It was difficult to write this chapter for many reasons... It reflects my own feelings in many moments. It's way longer than I thought, which I only just realized. And the first part of it got lost once, making me have a crisis and redo it... Some of it still feels forced... Well I hope the future parts will be better.
Chapter IX
"I was never meant to fight on my own..."
Despite revising the words of the ritual in my mind a few times before, only now I tasted their bitterness and felt the cold they brought with them.
Sharish must have studied the spell with someone else who knew elvish better than him, because he didn't show the slightest reaction to the subtle changes I made while weaving it. Was it his brother...? Or someone I didn't even know about...? I dismissed it as not very important as the last word left my lips. It would all be over in a few moments anyway.
I added the last element to it all by setting the contents of the incense bowl on fire, sealing that thought with its heat.
In response, the whole chamber suddenly shook, almost throwing me to my knees. Luckily, I managed to stay on my feet and was able to jump back a little as the stone floor crackled like a dry thunder in the mountains and split apart right under the incense bowl, swallowing it a second later. I felt frozen in place as I watched it fall, the flames dimming from the monumentum, heading for another light, golden, suddenly revealing itself at the bottom of the fresh precipice. And in response, that other light flashed more brightly, expanding and bursting into dozens of golden wisps of raw magical energy.
I didn't know why my mind bothered to count and tell me that it was the third wisp that cut through my shoulder, making blood and a pained scream from my throat spray up into the shaking air. As if attracted by it, a few more wisps followed, making me fall to the floor and almost depriving me of my consciousness. The book slipped out of my hand and almost immediately disappeared beneath the rubble that was falling onto our heads. For a moment, I felt tempted to check if it got damaged properly, but then a piece of the roof fell right onto my legs, pinning me to the ground and shattering the bones around my right knee. My scream didn't quite get drowned in the roar of destruction yet when one of the columns supporting the roof fell right onto the boulder that trapped me, splitting it in half and sending a nasty shock up my spine. I took a few breaths, desperately trying to hold on to my consciousness, then glanced over my shoulder to assess the damage, and...
... I saw hope...
A speck of crystalline blue right above the rim of the boulder that was holding me in place just a moment ago, getting bigger and bigger by the second as the raging magic cut through everything around us, from stone to flesh. To anyone else, it wouldn't have mattered, but I could reach it... No, I had to reach it. I might have given up before, but now that I saw a chance, I felt a burning urge to reach for it.
I rolled over to my stomach and forced my arms to lift my aching body slightly, just enough for me to make my wings appear and spread them at ease, sending crimson sparks around to accompany the golden ones starting tiny fires here and there. Praying that my wings would avoid being targeted by the rampaging ritual somehow, I beat them a few times, trying to ignore the burning pain in my shoulder and shot up above the rubble, towards the sky glimmering beyond the destruction.
As I darted past the last, still standing column, I spotted Sharish, robe charred, right arm covered in blood and eyes wide in surprise. But I couldn't bring myself to care anymore...
The first touch of the sun made a shiver spread across my skin, the first intake of free, mountain air almost making me dizzy. I escaped... after casting all hope away, accepting being a tool and deciding to give my own life as sacrifice, I broke free...
As soon as I reached an altitude no arrow would reach, I dared to stop and look back. The stronghold was still shaking, destruction spreading from north towards south, looking like some huge, invisible creature lied down on it, the construction steadily giving up under its weight. Fire started to spread in the gardens, devouring everything on its way to the river, which could only stop its advance, but not its hunger... What devastated me more than the loss of such beauty though was the fact that I could feel it all... every plant, every small animal among them. I could feel their lives go out and disperse into the air together with the smoke. Which meant that I failed miserably... I still had my powers... and Sharish was still alive...
As if that wasn't enough, I suddenly started to sense vanishing souls from the stronghold itself as well, and not just one or two... Lives seeping into the air and returning to the earth where they originally came from... The blood in my veins almost froze solid. Were there other people...? I covered my lips with a trembling hand. Of course there could have been... servants, guards, guests... Blinded by despair and hatred, I just...
I turned around and fled.
I spent the night in a small cluster of trees in the Selerath Valley, not far from the ridge. I didn't have the strength to go much further... The wounds on my shoulder soon closed up enough to not pose any danger to my life, but every movement of my wings caused the scabs to crack open and expose the deeper parts. My knee didn't look any better, swollen and bluish, it would have rendered me completely unable to move if I didn't have my wings. But I deserved it... for my naivety, which caused me to endanger all of the human race and become a murderer... I felt like I didn't have the right to return to Silivren Forest, but I didn't want to cause even more grief by making everyone worry about me forever...
I arrived there the next evening. As soon as I crossed the border of the woods, sensing its tranquility and feeling of safety tell me it was finally over, my body just collapsed into the soft grass, informing me that what I did should have been impossible in the first place. I managed to whisper a quiet plea for help for the wind to carry before everything turned black...
It was a strange feeling to wake up to the familiar sight of tangled twigs above my head. To the soft sobbing of Ertralia. To the warm and deep voice of master Arakiel and the feeling of two small stones on my chest. My body, surrounded by bandages, blankets and pillows, felt weirdly light, the scent of herbs filling my hovel. I was finally home...
For the first two days, no one even asked about what happened, even though I felt that most of them had their suspicions. On the third day, when I was finally able to at least sit up, I asked master Arakiel for a conversation. After giving it much thought beforehand, I decided him to be the only one I would reveal the entire truth to. What I gave much more thought though, was the plan I also initiated him into. He took my decision of sealing my powers away calmly, even seemed supportive. Apparently worrying about the girl he raised like his own child for half a month and the sight of her half dead made him reach the same conclusion as I did.
The powers I possessed were far too dangerous to remain in the open...
Thanks to the sirath master Arakiel gave me and the loving care of everyone around, my body recovered rather quickly. But despite the bones having grown back together and the wounds becoming scars, the soul resisted... I still felt a piercing cold whenever I thought back to my time in captivity and the horrible deed I committed at the end of it. I never even saw a single body, yet they haunted me no matter if asleep or awake. I suddenly found myself preferring to be alone, or with just Ertralia who was the only one capable of just snuggling up to me without making me feel like she could throw dozens of questions my way any second.
And on one of those lonely days, when I finally felt strong enough to venture out completely on my own, my world suddenly changed...
Hearing Light's footsteps close behind me again as I returned from the realm of the past was somehow soothing. I suddenly saw the path in front of me again, realizing we were not far from the Guardian's Waterfall.
"I... I had no idea..." even without seeing his face, I could tell there was concern all over it. The sound of his footsteps stopped, making me do the same and turn around. "Is he still out there today?"
My voice dropped to just above a whisper. "I'm pretty sure he survived the ritual..." I really wasn't. After all, I didn't dare to go back and check. But it was a feeling... a dread that followed me all the way from the Ethir Mountains, making me convinced it wasn't over yet...
As I struggled to not let myself get dragged back to that day, suddenly two slender but strong arms wrapped around my body to hold me there, in the present, my entire vision turning a calming shade of purple...
I blinked.
Only one man in this entire forest wore this color, but...
... why...?
After everything I just told him, he just... chose to comfort me...? Like it wasn't my fault at all...? I didn't dare to accept any sort of consolation during the past few weeks, but right now...
I gently gripped the fabric of his tunic, closing my eyes... Maybe it was the fact that I knew he went through similar pain himself... He understood even without words... Was that why it was so much easier to allow him to hold me...? Until now... was I just afraid that no one would understand...? That they would just condemn me...?
For a while, my whole world was just the sound of his breath, the beating of this heart that knew the same sin as mine and the whispering of the wind among the leaves that told us we were both forgiven...
And then came the words that changed everything...
"Even if he's out there... he'll never touch you again..."
I held my breath shortly. "How can you be sure...?" I whispered back.
In the short silence that followed, he seemed to be making some sort of decision... and it didn't feel like it made him much trouble... "I'll never let him..."
I felt tension suddenly leave my body... I realized that I never actually noticed that something was missing all this time, until it actually came back... The feeling of safety... Warm, infinite, not leaving any space for doubt... How could just a few words give that...? I reluctantly lifted my head from his chest to look him in the eyes.
They were... different all of a sudden... Like he waited to say those words for a very long time, and now that he finally did, some meaning, some purpose to his existence suddenly turned from a shy wish to reality... And that light... that light in his eyes that made me recall a feeling I experienced only once in my life, but never forgot. Like standing on the border of an unknown forest, mysterious and full of things and feelings no one has ever witnessed... Sadness, curiosity, pain, warmth, bitterness, joy and tranquility beyond measure... I knew that if I took a step into it, I wouldn't come out the same again, if there even was a way out somewhere... But I wasn't afraid...
I dared...
My mind hazed from this new sensation, I almost didn't notice a shadow of pain that tried to hide from me in the depths of Light's irises. "You okay?" he asked, likely trying to divert my attention from it that way.
"Are you...?" I countered with a whisper.
"I just don't understand... how come you were so trusting of me after that?"
Because I'm stupid... because from the moment I came back from the Shinestone stronghold, I knew I would just repeat it over and over without a second thought, not caring about how much my heart was actually still able to endure... Because I got used to being a tool so much that it terrified me...
And because your appearance changed it all... Because around you, I feel like everything Sharish made me believe was a lie...
"You're not him... why wouldn't I trust you...?"
"I certainly wouldn't be trusting of strangers after what you've been through."
"I don't judge people by what others have done... It would be unfair towards you... insulting even..."
"You're far too kind..." So much pain was hidden behind that compliment... He knew... he knew that I was unable to act against my nature and turn my back on people in need... But at the same time he wished I did, that I cherished myself more and that I would just escape from anyone who could hurt me...
I felt tears forcing their way out of me, but fought them away with a smile. "I rather trust and regret than doubt and regret... I'd rather take the pain than inflict it on other people's souls..."
"I'll do my best to make sure you never have to experience that pain again..."
Wait...
"But..." I started to protest, "this is not your world... you should be finding your way home... not protecting me here..."
... is the thing you told me you chose to...
"I've found the thing I want to protect and I refuse to fail this time..."
Hope... so much hope in just a few sentences... I drank every drop of it like a dying flower would absorb a long awaited rain.
... is it... really...?
But... with that life-returning shower came the fear... What if this wasn't the right way for him...? What if, unintentionally, my weakness made him feel the need to stay by my side despite wishing for something else...? But it could also be that... redeeming himself was his most desperate desire...
"I... if this is really what you wish..." I hesitated shortly before carefully placing a hand on his heart. Warm and beating strong... "then I don't want to take away your chance to heal it..."
Time will show...
I didn't see it, my gaze fixed on his chest, but I felt him shake his head. "I don't want to do this just for me," he gently covered my hand with his own and I had to suck in a small breath, my heart skipping a beat. "I want to help you find a way to move on too."
A little smile snuck its way onto my lips. It seemed to be a habit of his... whenever I tried to help him, he did all he could to turn it around and help me instead... Was that what made me so fascinated about him...? "Thank you... I..." I tried to come up with something coherent to say but failed miserably.
"Well... guess it looks like I will have to stay here after all."
Despite how much my heart wanted him to, my conscience couldn't just simply agree. "But... we should still look for a way for you to return. So that if we ever manage to get rid of Sharish, you can go home..."
"One day..."
I almost got tempted to look him in the eyes again. Was that... disappointment I heard in his voice...? Did he think I wanted to get rid of him as quickly as possible...? It was the opposite, I would gladly have stayed by his side forever, but at that moment, I didn't quite feel ready to tell him that yet...
Instead, I carefully turned my hand around in his gentle grip and shyly enveloped his palm with my own, delighting in the warmth which I was scared would soon be taken away. Which was why I was surprised when in response, Light shifted his slightly, allowing our fingers to intertwine...
I felt my heart immediately increase pace, sending additional blood to my cheeks to betray me and making me dizzy. "Don't worry, I'll make sure you're safe..." Light's quiet, soothing reassurement didn't exactly help matters. I never felt this sort of... intoxication before...
"Will you... let me try to do the same...?" I asked. I really wanted to, almost desperately...
"Sure thing." His answer was so simple... yet brought so much relief. Until now, it seemed like any attempt to help him or even offers of support caused him to feel some kind of guilt that came from something much deeper than just modesty. So why now...? Was it the decision to try again and protect me...? Did I even read it right...? If so... I didn't want to let this chance pass by. I wanted us both to succeed, if even one of us wouldn't... the other would feel like they failed too...
"If necessary..." I started slowly, suddenly making a decision, "I will even try to regain my full powers."
"Only if you feel ready..." the worry in his voice was almost undetectable, but still there.
"If regaining them will mean that I can protect you if necessary, I will do it..."
He averted his gaze for some reason. "I'll do my best to make sure you don't have to tap into that if you don't need to."
I had to smile. Maybe I wasn't quite right. He still felt bad about me doing things for him. I gave his hand a gentle, reassuring squeeze. "Okay."
"And if you ever need to share anything else... don't be afraid to."
"I won't be."
A faint shadow of relief brightened his eyes, though didn't manage to dispel the concern entirely. "You okay now?"
"Yes... are you?"
"I'm good. I'm happy you can share the burden now."
I felt my smile deepen a little and for a moment, I enjoyed the contact, feeling like everything we had to and wanted to say was finally out, leaving us both at ease. Even as the long silence stretched, slowly starting to make it awkward, none of us moved away...
Light must have felt it too though, because eventually, he stirred a little. "Oh... sorry."
"No, it's okay... want to go back?"
"Sure."
Refusing to break our contact completely, I backed away but kept a hold of his hand. I relaxed when I felt a tiny squeeze, conveying he was happy with that solution, and slowly started heading back the way we came.
Suddenly, the forest felt different to me... The path before me seemed clearer, the fading greens of autumn regained some of their liveliness. There was someone I shared my worries with now... and it felt different from sharing them with master Arakiel. I didn't just tell Light what happened. I shared a piece of my soul with him... entrusted my heart to the warmth of those gentle hands. And what was most important... I didn't feel afraid at all. After so many people using me, and one of them almost killing me and driving me insane... this one human I trusted completely.
My next step wavered when I suddenly registered a movement to our left, in the wintergreen bushes right by the path slightly ahead. Light's hand immediately wandered to his left side, where I suspected it searched for the hilt of a sword that wasn't there. He must have spent lots of time with a weapon in the past... "... there is not anything hostile in this forest is there?" he asked, his eyes not leaving the greenery.
"There shouldn't be... it's probably..." my sentence got interrupted by Ertralia sticking her head out of the shrubs.
I hid a smile behind my hand when Light blinked at her ears. "Um..."
Letting out a small laugh, I stepped forward a little to stand between them, but not obscuring the view of either. "Sorry if it startled you. I guess you've never seen a sykerien before?"
"A... a what? Sorry, I've never heard of that word."
I briefly explained to him how mages found a way of bringing hybrids to life in the past and a mix of which creatures Ertralia was. As I talked, the young sykerien left the safety of the bushes and found it behind my back, stare fixed on Light.
Upon receiving the definition and that scared look from those sapphire eyes, he relaxed visibly and kneeled down. "I... I'm sorry if I startled you."
Ertralia kept quiet, so I stepped in for her. "Don't worry, she's just a little shy. Her name is Ertralia."
Light smiled, though it was the most unsure smile in the history of Earlindon. "Sorry, I'm not good with kids."
His lack of confidence must have helped Ertralia to gather some, because she peeked out from behind me some more, her black ears twitching slightly. "But you have a nice voice..." she complimented, startling him a little.
"I do?"
When the fearsome stranger didn't eat her up after the first sentence she gave him, Ertralia relaxed a little and nodded. "Very gentle."
"That's the first time I've been told that," he admitted, more confused by the second.
"I think so too though," I joined in before I could stop myself and immediately felt blood come up to my cheeks again.
"I'll..." Light tried to find some way out of this, but soon surrendered with a small laugh. "I can't argue with both of you."
I gave him an innocent smile. "Just accept it."
"If you say so," he just shrugged.
"Let's go," I offered a way out, taking Ertralia's hand.
"So you two know each other?" Light followed next to me, providing Ertralia the safe distance.
"Yes, you could say... we're like sisters, but without the blood connecting us. She's an adoptive child in our camp."
"I see... so does she live with you then?"
"Mostly just in winter. Otherwise she prefers staying in the open."
Light laughed. "So how long has she been hiding in the background, spying on us then? I know someone's been in the bushes watching."
I had to laugh too. If only you knew... "I'd say from the moment we first arrived at the camp."
"I wasn't spying..." I could tell Ertralia was puffing out her cheeks in adorable anger even without looking at her, "you could sense me?"
Light gave her a smile. "You weren't exactly quiet in those bushes."
"But I was..." the sykerien whined in dismay, like a part of her world and all of her pride just collapsed. I had to admit I was a bit confused too.
"It's true, she always is... you must have really sharp senses."
For some reason, Light seemed just as confused as I was. "I do?" he gave it a brief thought. "Eh, I guess 'noticing things out of place' can also be hearing as well..."
"You mentioned that before... but I don't know why this sounds so peculiar to me."
"It's something I've learned... I could try and teach you one day..." he suddenly shook his head. "But you said you don't like hurting other living beings..."
"Wait, what does being perceptive have to do with hurting others?"
He averted his gaze, as if ashamed of something. "That world I told you about, where you get teleported to safety if you suffered a life threatening injury... That's where I learned all of that." In the brief pause that followed, he seemed to be struggling with some decision. "I fought so many people in that world. None of them are dead, but I probably hurt more than a few of them."
Oh...
"Why did you fight them?" I asked quietly, despite something at the bottom of my heart screaming at me not to.
"It was... was..." Light's voice cracked. I've heard it before... the sound of a memory breaking through the barrier he put between it and himself... "Most people did it just for fun. A world where you could fight each other and never die... But I was doing it as some sort of therapy," he stopped suddenly, his thoughts holding him in place, and leaned against the trunk of a tall linden, his face giving away a kind of exhaustion. "It didn't really help in the end..."
There was a sting of fear in my chest... I wasn't sure how deeply this sudden turn in the conversation would take us, so just in case, I gave Ertralia a short look accompanied by a tiny nod, which she understood immediately. With one sway of that dark tail, she vanished into the bushes, disturbing the melody composed by the leaves for a mere second. Once we were alone, I carefully put a hand on Light's shoulder, trying to keep him focused on the present.
"It's fine..." his voice was really weary by now, "you didn't have to send her away..."
"Are you sure? You don't seem fine..."
"Yeah... there's just a lot of painful memories still..." he straightened up and let out a deeper breath. "Should we keep going?"
"I'd gladly listen if you ever felt like it..." I offered, letting my hand slide down his arm to seek his palm again and resumed our walk back home. He decided to stay silent for a while, likely trying to fight the unpleasant thoughts back behind the barrier that protected his mind. After a few minutes though, he started to throw short looks over his shoulder.
"She's in the camp by now, don't worry..." I reassured him, assuming he felt guilty about making me sending Ertralia ahead.
"Okay... Sorry, I was supposed to be listening to you today..."
"It's okay, you know I would gladly do the same for you."
"Yeah, but I still want to take the time to listen to you... as some sort of payment for all you've done."
"You've already paid for everything." If anything, I felt like I was the one in debt now...
But Light just shook his head. "Not yet. Some of the things you've done, I could take a lifetime trying to pay back and fail to."
My eyebrows wandered up as I tried hard to recall any such admirable deed. "Like what?"
"Given me a place to belong, even when you have every reason not to."
I held back a sigh. I probably really was the only idiot in the entire world with such a mindset if no matter how many times I repeated it to others, they still assumed I thought like the majority. Still, I chose to focus on something else at that moment. "You feel like you belong here?"
In response, Light's expression turned from guilty to slightly embarrassed, which he attempted to hide by scratching his nose a little. "Well a certain someone might have something to do with that..."
I felt my cheeks heat up, so I looked away. "I'm glad... I want you to feel at home here, even if you have another one somewhere."
"Thank you," Light glanced up at the patch of bright blue between the leaves, deciding to change the topic. "Looks like it's going to be a clear weather tonight," he let out a relieved sigh which I echoed in my mind.
"We really need to think about a hovel for you. How about we take care of that tomorrow?"
"When's the supply run again?"
"The day after tomorrow."
Light nodded. "Yeah, if you think we can make it in a day, then why not? Only if you don't have plans though."
I did have a plan... finally making him feel at home here, giving him his own safe heaven and a place to call home... "I don't, and don't worry, we can do it," I gave him a smile before my eyes wandered ahead again, to the subtle shapes of the camp starting to become visible between the dark tree trunks.
As we reached its border, Light stopped suddenly. "Hey... you said before that the person that was hurt was someone precious to the druids, but not to you... Is there any reason for that?"
I gave it a brief thought, not wanting my words to cause any panic. "I just don't see myself as very important... I don't care much about myself."
As I feared, my answer still caused a sad smile to appear on Light's pale lips. "The fact that you're precious to so many people means you're important to them."
"To them, yes," I precised, allowing myself a little smile. "That's something I will be forever grateful for."
"You don't have to be important in the grand scheme of things... but being important to someone else, that's sometimes worth more."
"I don't need to be important in the grand scheme of things," the way his care for me made him misinterpret my words was kind of amusing. "I just meant that I'm not important to myself."
I realized I was only making it worse upon seeing the change in Light's expression. "You should be... because you aren't, you're never guaranteed to go home..." his eyes suddenly lit back up, his head jolting up almost unnoticeably. "Sorry, I shouldn't be talking. After all, a few weeks ago, I was in the same mindset as you."
"What...?" I wasn't sure if I should be concerned or confused, but he just shook his head.
"I guess all I'm trying to say is to take care of yourself. If not for you, then for the people who you're important to."
It wasn't hard to understand what he meant... I still remembered the relief on the faces of my loved ones when I returned from the Shinestone stronghold, and later when I finally rose from my bed to walk on my own... I never wanted to make them worry this much again... And... "You're right. And I have one more person that I should take care of myself for now."
This time my choice of words must have been just right, because a beautiful, honest smile bloomed on Light's features. "Good."
It was almost breathtaking... and made it impossible to not return the smile. Protecting others and their hearts was really important to him... and succeeding seemed to bring him so much joy. I wanted him to keep doing it forever... and not just because it made me feel like there was still hope for this world...
Light followed me again as I resumed our walk into the camp. "So... what are you going to do for the rest of the day?" he asked as we took an unhurried stroll along the border of our home.
"I don't know yet... how about you?"
"Probably just wander around again. I don't know. Just waste away the time I guess."
I wasn't a big fan of wasting time, but I had to admit it sounded tempting. Just for today... "Maybe you could help with hunting for the village sometimes," I suggested nevertheless, knowing he still felt like he had a lot of debts. "Or fishing."
It seemed that my proposition caused him more worry than relief. "I'm not good with a bow and arrow, and I've never actually tried fishing before."
"Wouldn't hurt to try. And it's not really difficult, it's just about helping to spread the net at a certain spot on the river and then pulling it out with the fish."
Light stopped suddenly, his face giving away some deeper consideration. "So it's more net fishing than using a rod..." he muttered more to himself than to me, "huh... I guess I could give it a try."
"Rod?" I interjected, confused.
"Huh? You've never heard of a fishing rod?"
"No?" I tried not to smile to not offend him in any way.
"Well... it's basically just a stick, line and a hook. You put the line on the end of the stick, and tie the hook to the other end. You use bait to lure the fish onto the hook, and then cast your line into the water, and then..." he paused abruptly and asked, sounding concerned: "I haven't just broken the universe have I?"
You can't just have one day without making me feel like this, can you? It didn't really sound very efficient in the first place. Didn't that mean you would only be able to catch one fish at a time? How long and how many people did it take to feed an entire village in his world then? "What do you mean with 'broken the universe'?" I eventually asked. "And I've never heard of this way of fishing, think you could show it to me somehow?"
Light scratched at the back of his head a little, looking somewhere between sheepish and worried. "I don't know if bringing knowledge from my world would result in somehow the fabric of space and time to start to collapse," he shrugged slightly. "Blame books for putting ideas like this in my head... Well, I guess since we're both still here, I could try showing you it later?"
"I'll look forward to that," I smiled and decided to sidetrack from this confounding topic. "You like reading?"
"I used to... but I kind of stopped. How about you?"
"Why? I like it too, but it's not easy to get any books in here. I only have two." And a third one three times the size of those two, but I'd rather you didn't know about that for now...
"I couldn't read for a year and a half, and because of that, I just never picked it up again. What two books are those?"
"Oh..." I decided to concentrate on my books before we stepped onto some dangerous territory again. "One is a tale about adventurers and dragons, the other is a collection of tales from our land. Would you like to try them?"
Light nodded, his expression softening once more. "Why not? It's been a while since I've read anything. But maybe later. You look kind of drained."
"Just a little." I was... really drained... though mentally. I was trying to forget what happened back then for weeks now, so going back to it wasn't the most pleasant experience. I didn't really regret it though... It felt good to share it with someone who entrusted and equally dark secret to me. And it made me realize that despite our very short acquaintanceship, this man was so important to me...
"Well, step one to taking care of yourself is making sure you get enough rest," Light switched to a parental tone all of a sudden, amusing me even more than with the rod talk. "I can wake you up when fishing starts."
"Okay then," I just smiled.
"Do you want me to walk you back to your hovel?"
"If it's not too much to ask?"
"Not at all."
Suddenly, a daring idea sneaked into my mind and refused to go away, making my heart increase pace. It didn't feel like it would leave me alone anytime soon, so I gathered my courage and carefully locked arms with Light. As expected, he gave me a surprised look at first, but didn't say anything, just led me towards my hovel, the trees we passed almost feeling like they were watching with utmost interest. I didn't dare to look at him, but I could almost sense his embarrassment.
Once at our destination, I reluctantly let go and turned to face him, praying my blush would go away along with the warmth we shared for that short moment. "I will see you soon then... and... thank you for today. Really, thank you so much."
"It's okay, any time," I thought I saw a slight shade of red vanishing from Light's cheeks... but it could as well have been an illusion caused by the campfire crackling behind his back a few meters away.
Unfortunately, that daring idea from a minute ago didn't come alone... abruptly, an even crazier one caught up to it. And made it even more difficult to fight it...
I moved closer and placed a hand on his heart again, wanting to feel that gentle rhythm once more before I went to sleep. This time though, my whole body followed it as I shifted closer, and in one shy but smooth motion placed a soft kiss on Light's cheek. It almost immediately turned bright red, though I only saw it for a split second, quickly turning away to hide my own.
There were still many things I wanted to tell him, many words of gratitude, consolation, affection and... but I just wasn't able to make them go past my lips at that moment. Without saying anything else, I escaped into my hovel, letting the flap cover the entrance and hide my messed up state.
I sat on my bedding, taking a pillow and hugging it gently as I listened to Light's footsteps as they slowly withdrew into the forest. I didn't like the feeling... I wanted him to stay here, close, in safety and warmth, where I knew I would be able to be there for him the moment he should need it...
The reason was simple...
I hid my face in the pillow.
I love him...
Was that cheesy? I don't care XD
I liked writing that part when Yasenka fell in love with Light... It was similar for me. Real, actual love is something mysterious, makes you afraid at first and brings a bunch of feelings that you didn't discover before, effectively making you act like a teenager... Yeah, I did feel like a schoolgirl when I fell in love with the man who wrote those events from Light's POV... Wait, you guys didn't know about it? Go read Lost in Earlindon by scrambled888 then, what are you waiting for? XD
I think you would have done it justice sweetheart, you never ever once got Yasenka wrong, so I'm sure you would have nailed the flashback as well. But I'm happy with your own flashback instead... extremely happy in fact... :AsuHappy: I'm looking forward to it, I'll not publish any more and give you time to catch up. I love you 3
Thank you to everyone who read. I'll see you soon I hope~