A/N: Please be aware this work contains a genderbent Obi-Wan! Please enjoy!
Disclaimer: Disney owns these characters, I'm just playing in their sandbox.
Chewing her lip, Obi-Wan followed Qui-Gon meekly to the Council chambers to give the mission report. The mission to oversee negotiations to form a government between two opposite factions had been a success, apart from one little detail. Or not so little, from her point of view. After all, she had lost her lightsaber. Yes, they had caught the insurgents trying to sabotage the negotiations, but why was it that their diplomatic missions always ended up with them chasing criminals through factories or mines or crowded public spaces? And why did she have to be so unlucky?
This was the most embarrassing thing that had ever happened to her, she was sure of it.
Qui-Gon's only response had been "Let's hope the Council will let us take a trip to Ilum before sending us on our next mission. Or I'll have to go alone while you stay at the temple until the initiates are slated for their trip, and then you go with them."
Staying back at the temple while her master went on missions just because she had lost her lightsaber? The thought alone made her insides squirm. The other padawans would find it highly amusing. She would surely be everyone's laughing stock.
She had to hurry to keep up with the tall Jedi's long stride but every now and then he slowed down just enough that she didn't have to break into a run. He finally came to a stop in front of the Council doors and turned halfway around. "Remember what I told you last night when we got back. I'll give the report, but you request permission for the trip to Ilum."
Obi-Wan shuffled uncomfortably. "Yes, master."
She followed Qui-Gon into the chamber, standing a step behind him and one step to the right while he gave the report. It had essentially been a simple mission without any complications, but that just made her dilemma all the more embarrassing.
"All, that is, Master Jinn?" Yoda asked.
"From my side, yes," Qui-Gon stated, folding his hands. "Though my Padawan has a request." He stepped aside.
Obi-Wan shot him a quick glance. Then, ears burning, "Would it be possible for Master Jinn and me to take a trip to Ilum before our next assignment?"
Her voice wavered slightly, but didn't break.
"Ilum?" Yoda asked. "Special reason for this there is, young Obi-Wan? Hmmmm?"
She looked down at the floor and mumbled, "I lost my lightsaber."
Couldn't the floor open up and swallow her? Surely no padawan had ever been in such an embarrassing situation.
"Tell us what happened, padawan," Master Sinube said.
She looked up at the Council. "It fell into a melting pot. It was hooked to my belt but it got stuck somehow when I tried to squeeze through a gap, and the clasp came undone."
"You saw it fall into the melting pot?"
Obi-Wan nodded miserably. "I tried to catch it, but it bounced off the walkway." She wished Qui-Gon would say something, but her master simply stood there, listening silently.
"Did you try catching it with the Force?" Master Mundi asked.
"No," she whispered, flushing even more. "I … didn't think of that." She fell silent, waiting for the Council's decision.
The Council members glanced at each other, a silent conversation passing between them. Master Yoda sat motionless, fingers resting atop of his gimer stick. Time stretched and Obi-Wan tried hard not to fidget, watching some shake their heads minutely. Her stomach dropped. They wouldn't let her go. She would have to stay at the temple until the next group of initiates went to Ilum. Qui-Gon would be sent on missions without her and she would have to do her saber practices with a borrowed weapon. Finally, they reached a consensus and nodded, some more reluctantly than others.
"Granted your request is," Yoda said, opening his eyes.
"Thank you, masters," Obi-Wan replied, bowing. She caught Qui-Gon's gaze. He nodded once and they took leave from the Council, returning to their quarters. Obi-Wan cast a quick glance at Qui-Gon Jinn. Still her master said nothing, made no further comment. She wasn't sure why but the lack of criticism almost rankled more than if he had admonished her.
"We will leave for Ilum in the morning," Qui-Gon told her as they stepped into their quarters. When there was no reply he finally looked at her. His padawan stood dejectedly next to the door looking much like a bedraggled tooka. "Obi-Wan," he sighed, "you're not the first padawan to lose your lightsaber and you're certainly not the last. The whole thing has taught you something, hasn't it? Next time you know to check your saber clasp after attaching your lightsaber to your belt."
"Yes, master," came the subdued answer.
Qui-Gon placed a hand on her shoulder. "Come, I'll make us something to eat and you can ask your friends for the coursework of the past week so you don't have to make up even more when we return. And after that we prepare for Ilum. We might have to stop at the quartermasters. I think your winter cloak could be too short."
"Can I go ask Bant? I don't know if Garen, Reeft, or Quinlan are here," she asked. Reeft and his master had left the same day they had and she knew the other two were also gearing up for new missions.
"Certainly," Qui-Gon replied. "I'll let Tahl know you're coming. Don't be too long."
Obi-Wan took off, racing to her friend's quarters as quick as decorum allowed. Bant was already waiting when Obi-Wan rang the bell, bouncing happily up and down at seeing her friend.
"Obi-Wan! When did you get back?" the young Mon Calamari asked excitedly. "The last few days have been so dull! You missed Garen. He and Master Rahra left for a mission three days ago, but Quin and Reeft are due back soon."
Obi-Wan smiled briefly at her friend, stepping inside. "We got back last night but we're heading out again tomorrow."
"What? So soon?" Bant exclaimed.
Obi-Wan shuffled her feet, her fingers tangling with her padawan braid. "Yeah."
"How come?"
"Obi-Wan, is that you?" Master Tahl Uvain called, stepping out of the fresher. "Don't stand at the door, come in and sit down for a moment. Qui-Gon told me of your little mishap," the Noorian Jedi said kindly, "and he said you're taking it much too hard. It's nothing to be ashamed of."
Bant stared at her friend. "Obi? What happened?"
"I lost my lightsaber," Obi-Wan mumbled. "I didn't hook it onto my belt properly and it fell into a melting pot and, well, melted. We're heading to Ilum tomorrow so I can find a new crystal." She looked at Bant imploringly. "Please don't tell anyone."
Bant nodded solemnly, "Not a word."
"Thank you. Could you give me the coursework I missed?"
"Sure, hold on." Bant went to her room and reappeared a few minutes later, handing Obi-Wan a small stack of data pads. "I think this is everything."
"Thank you, Bant. I'll try to get it done by tonight." She pulled her friend into a hug and then turned to Tahl, bowing. "Master Tahl."
The blind Jedi tutted. "I can hear you bowing, Obi-Wan. Stop that," she said, pulling Obi-WAn into a hug of her own. "Don't fret, and good luck on Ilum. And tell Qui-Gon I want you both over for dinner when you get back."
The trip to Ilum was uneventful. Obi-Wan hadn't managed to catch up with all the coursework in one afternoon, so she had taken the remainder along. Apart from finishing the coursework she had meditated with Qui-Gon and done her duties aboard the ship. Now she sat in the co-pilot seat watching the icy planet grow larger in the viewscreen. She gazed at it apprehensively.
"Nervous?" Qui-Gon asked without taking his eyes from the planet ahead.
"A little," she admitted, trying to focus on their entry of Ilum's harsh atmosphere.
Qui-Gon glanced at her. "Trust in yourself, Obi-Wan, and trust in the Force. It means you no harm. You managed as a youngling, and you will succeed again."
She nodded, returning her attention to her workplace as Qui-Gon began the approach for Ilum. As soon as the ship entered the atmosphere shear winds began jostling it. Qui-Gon kept a tight grip on the controls, guiding the vessel to its landing spot near the temple.
The ship touched ground with a soft thud. Obi-Wan grimaced at the swirling snow outside and went aft to dress accordingly before heading for the airlock. Qui-Gon stepped next to her, also dressed in a warm tunic and a thick, warm winter cloak. He pulled on his gloves.
"Ready, Padawan?"
"Yes," Obi-Wan replied, eyeing the frosty planet with mild distaste.
"I'll be waiting for you in the entry hall," Qui-Gon told her. Obi-Wan nodded, and together they stepped on to Ilum's icy surface, crossing the snowy plain before them to enter the temple. The doors swung open, and they stepped inside. Qui-Gon placed his hands on her shoulders and she looked up to meet her master's gaze. "Remember, trust in the Force. Let it guide you and don't give in to your fears." He smiled. "But you know all this. After all this isn't your first visit to the caves."
"I know, Master," Obi-Wan returned, not especially liking the reminder.
"Good. I'll be waiting here."
Hesitating briefly, Obi-Wan glanced back over her shoulder before entering the tunnel labyrinth. Qui-Gon stood there, tall and imposing, but with a small, encouraging smile on his face. She turned again, facing the tunnel. With a soft grinding sound the entrance to the tunnels closed behind her, engulfing her in darkness. She stood rooted to the same spot while her eyes adjusted to the new light conditions. Light shafts filtered daylight into the tunnels, bathing it in a dim glow. Ice crystals glittered in the pale light.
Closing her eyes, Obi-Wan reached out tentatively with the Force, listening for her crystal. Faint whispers danced around her, teasing her and slipping away before she could make out more.
"Let the Force guide you."
Her master's advice echoed in her mind and she stretched her senses further, brow furrowed in confusion. She heard - felt? - more than one crystal, not like last time. Last time the call had been clear. Her old crystal had led her unerringly through the tunnels. Now it felt like she was being pulled in several directions and she didn't know where to go.
"I am one with the Force. The Force is with me," she whispered, taking a deep, slow breath.
Exhaling, Obi-Wan opened her eyes and began walking down the passage slowly. Snow crunched under her boots, her breath left icy puffs in the frigid air. At the first crossing she paused, sinking back into the Force. There. This time it was more clear. She continued walking, the Force leading her closer to her crystal. Or, one of her crystals. The other song was just as insistent, but further off.
She stepped into a high chamber. The Force urged her on. Leaping over a crevice, she crossed the chamber, coming to a stop before an icy slope at its far end. She began climbing, the song clear in her mind now. Finally her fingers closed around the sharp edges of a crystal, and the Force sang, sending her into a vision of a blue saber deflecting blaster bolts. She could taste smoke and burnt air, she could feel the saber in her hand, strong and familiar. The vision faded away, and she gasped at the power she had felt. Carefully, she pried the crystal out of the rock. It came loose and she looked at it, cool and soothing, cradled in her palm. She placed it in a special pouch on her belt and climbed nimbly down.
At the foot of the slope Obi-Wan halted, listening for the Force to guide her. She jumped over the gap again and turned to another passage. The Force whispered insistently, leading her deeper into the caves down a narrow passage. The path slanted downward, and she followed, wandering deeper and deeper into the mountain. Paths branched off, but she ignored them, always continuing downward, as if being pulled forward by an invisible thread.
The air grew warmer, almost stifling the deeper she went, the ice covering the walls and floor slowly turning to bare rock. The crunching sound of snow under her boots gave way to the grinding of gravel. It grew darker, no more light shafts illuminating the way. Soon the last light faded away, plunging the passage into darkness. Obi-Wan slowed, her heart beating rapidly. Her path lay forward.
"Kriff," she muttered. Calming herself with a few deep breaths she went on. "Kriff, kriff, kriff."
She pulled off her gloves and tucked them into her belt, reaching out with her hands to feel the way, her fingertips grazing the rough rock. Water dripped and trickled around her. Tentatively she walked on, using the Force and her outstretched hands to guide her way.
The path went on, winding its way through the bedrock, small clefts and caverns opening on either side but the Force urged her ever downward.
Obi-Wan lost all track of time as she trudged on in the complete dark. It felt like hours had passed. Her stomach growled loudly and she pulled out a ration bar, the sound of the wrapper unnaturally loud in the silence of the tunnels. She ate slowly, one hand still on the wall for guidance as she went on.
Suddenly the air changed, no longer feeling so stifling. A light breeze brushed over her face. She stilled, reaching out with her senses. The faint sound of water lapping the shore reached her ears, the smell of water stronger than the earthy scent of rock.
Forwards , the Force urged. Go on, on.
Carefully she continued until she reached the edge of the water. Closing her eyes, she reached out with the Force again. The cavern was high and the water seemed to stretch from one side to the other but her quarry lay ahead. Obi-Wan slowly walked along the water until she could go no further. Frowning, she retraced her steps, continuing in the opposite direction. Another barrier blocked her way. The only way to avoid the water was to climb. Or she had to swim.
Obi-Wan swallowed. She was not a bad swimmer but braving an underground lake in a pitchblack cave? That was at least as bad an idea as scaling the walls.
Come to me , the Force whispered. So close, so close .
A shiver of anticipation ran down her back. No, she knew with sudden certainty, she had to go in the water; she had no choice if she wanted to find the crystal calling to her.
"Karking Sith hells," Obi-Wan groaned, sliding the warm cloak off her shoulders. It dropped to the floor with a soft swoosh. She undid her belt and obi, placing them on the cloak, followed by her boots, tunics and trousers. The air felt cold on her naked skin. She stepped forward.
The water was icy.
"Fuck!" Obi-Wan exclaimed, stepping further into the water, cold waves lapping at her thighs, her stomach. Swearing profusely she dove into the water, its cold stealing her breath away. She gasped, swimming forward with powerful strokes. It was probably a good thing Qui-Gon could not hear her. He would have a few things to say about her choice of words. After a few meters she stopped, treading water as she reached out again through the Force.
She was close.
Slowly, she swam on. The Force screeched in warning and she reached out, touching a rocky surface.
Down , the Force murmured.
"Oh, kark." Down. Obi-Wan swallowed, realizing her rebreather was still hooked to her belt. Which, of course, was laying on the shore. Stupid, stupid, stupid. She could always swim back, it wasn't that far, but the Force was insistent.
Swim down.
"Trust in the Force," Obi-Wan muttered. "Let it guide you."
Not that she had a choice. The darkness was complete. She had to trust the Force if she wanted to find the crystal. She fought down the urge to scream, taking several deep breaths and plunging into the black water. Panic constricted her throat and she struggled not to gasp for air. Instead, she opened herself fully to the Force, letting it flow through her. The crystal flashed before her inner eye and she kicked her legs to reach its position. She reached out, grabbing a handful of sand and propelled herself upward, the sharp edges of the crystal digging into her flesh.
She broke through the surface, spluttering, but her fingers firmly closed around the crystal. Breathing heavily, she swam back to the shore.
Obi-Wan stepped out of the water, teeth chattering with cold as she groped for her clothes. Her numb fingers fumbled with the clasp on the pouch she wanted to put the crystal in. Finally she managed to open it, and dropped the crystal inside.
The Force roared around her. Images assaulted her, and she fell to her knees.
- Urgency pounding through the Force. Running as fast as she could, air burning in her lungs. A ray shield. A red-black zabrak wielding a double-bladed lightsaber. The red blade impaling Qui-Gon. A hoarse cry escaping her throat, full of anger and grief. The zabrak grinning at her, a terrible, condescending grin, kicking Qui-Gon's lifeless body to the side. The familiar weight of two blades in her hands, clashing against the zabrak's saberstaff. The Force swirling around them, dark and menacing, a maelstrom of anger and grief and fear, pulling at her, pulling, pulling -
The vision faded away.
Tears rolled down her cheeks and she gasped for air. Sobbing and hands shaking, she got dressed. Water ran down her back from her dripping hair. She pulled her hair into a short ponytail, squeezing out as much excess water as possible. Finally she draped the cloak over her shoulders and pulled up the hood to cover her wet hair.
She stumbled back toward the passage, mind racing, her hand drifting to the pouch holding the two saber crystals. Should she build one saber with two crystals? In her first vision she'd only had one lightsaber but in her second on there were two, so maybe it meant two lightsabers. Or maybe a saberstaff? No. No, the vision had shown her two lightsabers. She had never really considered Jar'kai, not in earnest at least. She may have dreamed about it once in a while, but that was it.
Cold and exhausted she let the Force lead her, only paying half attention to the path chosen for her. All she wanted was to get back to Qui-Gon and the ship.