Day262- December 20
I, as per usual, woke up kinda late. In fact, I really only got out of bed because Dad sent Boltund to wake me up again. Since it was getting closer and closer to the new year, he's been going nuts about the band's big New Year's performance. I mean, rightfully so, this is the band's first...and biggest performance of the year. I was just kinda...hoping that I could get out of it, is all. This sounds ungrateful of me, and maybe it is, considering that Dad's done a lot for me. I get it, children aren't entitled to their parents, parents choose to have children, yadda yadda yadda...but that's not what I'm talking about here. Dad's treated me a lot better than a lot of parents treat their children, and I can't do this one thing for him? Jeez.
Anyway...I've been super busy this past month, if I'm being honest. I haven't even thought about Chairman Rose's task for me yet. Knowing me, I'll do all of it in January even though he gave me two months to do it. But then again, I could easily take five photos in a single day, let alone two months, so I think I'll be fine. I've just...had no time for photography. Dad's been having the band practice every single afternoon, and by the time evening comes, I'm too tired to go out, and if I do, it's me desperately trying to keep a healthy social life. I had to make quite a few trips to Stow-on-Side...mainly because the otherworldly signs that Al sent me were getting creepier and creepier. I swear, I heard him knocking on my window one night. As much as it scared the crap out of me, it also brought back...memories. Memories of Dad being in his room doing whatever he did, only for me to hear a knock on the window, move the curtains, and see Piers sitting on the roof, waiting for me to let him in. Then, when I finally would let him in, we'd have a great time. Considering that I was pretty dang young at the time, it wouldn't be anything scandalous, usually just some good, wholesome cuddling. I can't help but laugh as I think of the times where Dad would knock on my door to tell me goodnight or something...and Piers would make a mad dash for the closet. I'm honestly surprised we hadn't gotten busted...since Piers was pretty dang loud. Good lord, sometimes the memories just creep up on me like that, and it can feel like it's too much to handle at times. I still feel like I'm the reason that Piers is the way he is. The fact that I hurt him still lingers in the back of my mind, even though everything has been made up for. I still regret burning those letters, I really do. I really don't know how to feel. Even if I would….try, would Piers...even want to take me back? No, no...it's not like that anymore. Is it? Can it be…?
Gah, enough of that. So, yeah, I've been desperately trying to balance band practice with both my social life and holiday shopping, which, of course, I've been spending way too much on, and this past month has admittedly been a little rough, but at least I'd be having a bit more fun today...I hope. Today, if you remember, is the day that Bede and I will be going to that concert at Hammerlocke University. I tried to hide the fact that I was going with a boy from Dad, knowing he would tease me about it, so when he questioned me, I kept using gender-neutral terms such as they and my friend, but...when he was talking to me about it a few days ago, I accidentally let the dreaded masculine pronoun slip out. Yeah, so now my freaking dad knows I'm going out with a boy at 7 at night to a concert. The teasing has been relentless. Seriously, why the heck does everyone just assume I'm going on a date? Is it because of my age or something? By now, people should know that the majority of my friends are male! Just because I'm going out with a boy doesn't mean it's a freaking date! But, I digress.
Of course, after I grabbed my clothes, which unfortunately was an Electric uniform that I look absolutely dreadful in, but Dad loves, I headed downstairs. Like, Dad had it custom-made for me and all, and I appreciate that, but...I hate it. Luckily, Dad let me trade the dreaded leggings for some knee-length socks, but they're the same ones he wears! I look like a freaking copycat! One part of me would almost want to wear the leggings, if they weren't so freaking hideous, because I swear, way too much of my butt sticks out of these shorts. All of the girls I asked about it, which, admittedly, are just Maple, Sonia, and Nessa, all think they look fine on me, but...I'm not trying to flash people here. I mean, the shirt's...okay and the glove makes me feel cool, but I just can't get around the shorts. I have no freaking idea how Melony's able to pull it off. We're around the same weight, I think...and she just looks so much better in her uniform than I do. Actually, when Dad showed her what I looked like in the freaking thing, she said that I looked like a "mini John," and I can't say that's something I'm trying to go for. I love Dad dearly, but I don't want to copy him. I don't want to be just like him. We have our differences, and I personally think that's something to be celebrated. Oh well, people think differently. I guess that's what makes us different. So long as it's not hurting anyone, I think we should be able to think differently. Just like Piers...might think differently of me after everything that's gone down in the past few years. I don't...want to talk about that, though. I want to think of happier times.
Dad was already working on brunch for the two of us. I mean, to him, it was probably breakfast, but I considered it brunch because of the stupidly late time I woke up. He was still in his pajamas, so it was obvious that not even he wasn't even changed into the dumb uniform yet. So, I decided to hold off on my shower for a bit. Besides, I've had several occasions where I've showered, changed into my good clothes, then ate breakfast and dropped food on my shirt like a big dummy. If I got that uniform dirty, even though we aren't performing tonight, Dad would probably lose it.
Speaking of performances, they've been going...well, I guess. The band usually performs on Friday nights, but we would probably perform on Saturdays too if it weren't for Dad playing the bass for that Saturday night show. Though, I wasn't complaining. One performance a week is enough for me. The guitar playing itself has been fine, it's just...the vocals that get me. Dad, as well as the other band members, always tell me that they'd like to hear more of me and that I need to have more confidence and sing out, but I just don't have any! My stutter is a plague. Right when I think I'm doing a good job, I begin to stutter and lose my place, then have to rest for a few measures until I get caught up with the rest of the band. It makes me feel inferior to them. I've tried to opt out of vocals a few times and just do the guitar, but...I have to. Angie does vocals, and she's the only female of the group to do them. The only other girl in the band is on the drums, and it would just be too hard to hear her over the drum set. With all this pressure on me, when I stutter and have to take a short break, I feel like trash. I feel like I humiliate myself in front of the whole band. Sometimes, when I get home, I just sit in my room and I can't help but cry. I mean, I don't hate performing with the band, but I'd be lying if I said I always enjoyed it.
Though, something I have been enjoying is the electric guitar. Despite being skeptical about it at first, I realized that I enjoy it more than the acoustic, honestly. I by no means have any money to get myself an electric guitar, but I found one that I really, really like...already. Yep, I played it a few times and decided that I wanted my own. Though, after Angie comes back, I'll honestly have no use for it, so I'll probably just stick with acoustic. I mean, saving up money for something that I really wanted hasn't worked well in the past. That camera I saved up a stupid amount of money for...I barely use it, to be honest. I just haven't found the need to. Maybe when I actually start taking photos for Chairman Rose's task, I'll bring it with me and get some cool underwater shots. The thing is, one of the first photos I took with it turned out to be colossal failure after I tried to take a photo of a Shellder sitting in the sand...and then a freaking Magikarp swam up and stuck its big fish lips in the camera right when I was about to take it! Yeah, needless to say, I was a bit disappointed with that. That one didn't make it to the editing phase. But...I shouldn't let one failure get me down. Maybe instead of thinking about something else to spend a stupid amount of money on and barely use, I should actually focus on the thing I spent a really stupid amount of money on and barely use. It's just an idea.
"Morning, Mads," Dad said, Boltund once again hounding him in order to try and get food off of him. Eventually, after Boltund tried to climb up on the counter, he gave in and fed him an egg.
"Morning," I said, going to check on the Pokémon. Everything looked fine. Mezuma was nowhere to be seen, but that was just something that I've had to deal with. I can't keep Mezuma sheltered, so I just have to trust the chairman. Dad did go and meet with him in person, but he didn't say anything about it...so I really don't know how it went. That just made me even more nervous about the situation. Though, Mawile and Zangoose seemed to be out with him, so that made me feel a bit better. After all, the chairman doesn't seem to have any problem with them, so even if he...does go after Mezuma, he wouldn't get them...at least. I just didn't want to think about it. I've still been having nightmares, I've just hid it from Dad. As for Flapple, he was...being Flapple. Though, this time, he seemed to be socializing with Rufflet. The little lad was perched on Flapple's bed, and the two seemed to be sharing a Berry. Flapple sharing food with someone is a symbol of his trust. If he doesn't trust someone, he hides his food and gets cranky if they try to take it. He's shown this behavior around some of Dad's Pokémon, as well as Mawile when he was first added to the team, though those two get along fine now. I think Flapple's just happy to be around other Pokémon his size. Mezuma and Zangoose are a lot bigger than he is, so he naturally does seem to prefer Mawile and Rufflet. The happy sounds coming from both of them showed me that they were having a pretty good time, so I didn't dare separate them. I had no idea where the Toxtricity were, but I wasn't too compelled to find them. Dracozolt was in his room as usual, and Softy was deciding to visit him, it looked like. That's Softy for you. The little angel cares about her teammates a whole lot. Man, she's really going to like what I have planned for her. As part of me spending way too much money on my loved ones this month, I went ahead and...really splurged with Dad's gift. I mean, the second most expensive gift I got was Leon's...of course, but the most expensive by sure was Dad's. Honestly, Leon's gift is kinda lame, but after talking to both Hop and his mum, we decided that he'd like it...hopefully. I got him like three vintage snapbacks that weren't in his stupidly large collection, a three-month subscription to some kind of service that delivers high-protein food monthly, and a bow that's apparently used for resistance training? I don't know what that even means, but Leon's mum said he wanted it, so I got it for him. He's going to absolutely despise it, but I freaking tried. I spent way too much money on him as it is.
As for Dad's gift, I also spent way too much money on him, but at least I know he'll like this one. He still has no clue who he's going to add as a sixth member to his party, but in five days, he'll sure as heck know! I went ahead and got him that Emolga. Admittedly, I do feel bad about getting her imported, but...I also don't. At least in Dad's hands, she'll be with a Trainer who loves her and treats her like an actual living creature instead of property to be bought and sold. She's actually here already, and don't worry, I don't keep her in the Poké Ball all day. I try to let her out in the mornings before practice, in the evenings before bed, and just any time I'm in my room. In case Dad just decides to barge in on me, I do have places to her hide so I don't spoil the surprise. Let me tell you, she's the absolute sweetest little thing. She's so energetic, so affectionate, so playful...I freaking adore her. Honestly, I've been so tempted to take her for myself, but that wouldn't be right of me. I know Dad will enjoy her even more than I do. For some reason, the females were more expensive than the males, but I decided to splurge and buy him a female, mainly for Softy's sake. I know Pokémon function different than humans and all, but from my human point of view, I'm sure the little lady will enjoy having another girl to hang out with. I really do think that Dad's going to adore her just as much as I do.
Last spiel about the gifts, at least for a while, I promise, but I also got Bede something that I planned on giving him tonight, since I probably wouldn't see him until New Year's...and what's the fun of getting gifts after Christmas? There's no fun in it, that's what. In one of Bede's self-centered rambles that he tends to go on when I bumped into him, he claimed to have a passion for Psychic-Type Pokémon, so that was really the one thing I based my gift off of. So, after browsing online, in different shops, and even in charity shops, if I'm being completely honest, I found it. Since I do enjoy vintage things, I wanted to put my own touch on it, so I bought him an old field guide on the various Psychic-Type Pokémon found in the Galar region. The book features not only photos, but gorgeous illustrations of the Pokémon, going into their biological information, what moves they can learn...stuff like that. It was a bit pricey, not as much as Leon or Dad's gifts, but I figured that he'd like it, or at the least, appreciate it. Though, Bede is kind of hard to predict. I won't be surprised if he absolutely despises it. If he doesn't take it, I will. It's a nice book that I could easily add to my collection, and if Bede wants to be ungrateful about it, so be it. I'm just trying to be nice here.
"You ready for practice? We're not going as long as we usually do today, considering that you have your little date," Dad said in a teasing manner, instantly making me turn red. If I hear the word date one more time, I'm going to puke. Good lord, I don't even want to think about when I go on an actual first date with someone...if I ever do. I won't get any rest. The teasing will never end.
"It's not a date, Dad…" I groaned as I sat down, starting to eat. Dad chuckled and shook his head, taking his seat as well. As we were eating breakfast, the trio made their way back home. I'm pretty sure that Mawile never sleeps, so he went to join Flapple and Rufflet's little party. Zangoose, the complete opposite of Mawile, immediately ran over to the bed, curled up, and almost immediately fell asleep. Zangoose, much like me, could probably sleep 24 hours a day if he really wanted to. As for Mezuma, Dad made the fatal mistake of not hiding the peanut butter, and considering that this peanut butter was homemade and not store-bought, Mezuma wanted it. I told him to stay away from it, but he didn't listen. He walked over to the cupboards, almost broke one of Dad's fancy wine glasses as he rummaged through it, and eventually found his reward. Well, he eventually stole his reward. I rolled my eyes as I heard him open the jar and start going ham on it. Well, there goes that nice homemade peanut butter that Dad bought. Honestly, he should've known better. Not hiding peanut butter from a giant bear who loves peanut butter is a terrible mistake.
"So, d-do you think we're ready for the New Year's performance," I asked, picking at my food. I just felt so...anxious. New Year's was still a while away, but the thought of going up in front of a bunch of people, more people than usual, scares the crap out of me. What if Leon is there? Leon can't be there. Leon is banned from the club. I've just decided that.
"Well, I'd say we're getting there, but there's definitely a few things I want to work on. I think the vocals could use a bit more work, personally," Dad said. I immediately hung my head. I felt as if he was directly targeting me. I can't help it! I can't help that I was born with this stupid stutter!
"I'm sorry, Dad…" I said, pretty much unable to eat at this point because of how crappy I felt. "Could you see if there's anyone else who can take my place? At least for the v-vocals…" Dad just looked upset at this.
"Mads, did you think that I was targeting you? That's not what I meant at all. I just meant that the vocals themselves need some cleaning up. I don't expect you to be perfect. I never did. When I asked you to do this, I knew that you'd stutter. I can't change what you were born with. But, Mads...I don't care. No one else in the band cares. None of the regulars really seem to care, either. Actually, you've gotten a lot of praise from our regulars!" Dad said with a small smile, making me blush. Dang it, people actually notice me. I was hoping that people just wouldn't care about me, considering that not only am I a temporary member, I'm a newbie.
"I guess I just don't understand why you chose me of all people, Dad. I mean, I understand why you'd want your daughter in the band and all, b-but...I guess I can't wrap my head around why you willingly chose me, with my stutter and everything," I replied. Dad smiled softly.
"Mads, you underestimate yourself. I understand. You have a stutter and you're self-conscious about it. But...you're letting that stutter overshadow how much talent you actually have. I know that Piers tells you this a lot, but you have a great voice. Two people who are deeply involved in the music industry telling you that you're talented...Mads, we're not lying! That's one of the reasons I chose to add you to the band...but another reason is that your voice...well...uhh...nevermind," Dad said, his entire demeanor changing. He just looked like he was going to cry. I almost choked on my drink at that. What was he going to say? For some reason...I could tell that talking about my voice brought up some kind of memories.
"Dad…" I said, looking down, ashamed. "I-I'm sorry…"
"No, Mads. Don't apologize." Dad replied with a smile. I didn't want to say anything else. I didn't want to bring back any bad memories. As much as I wanted to ask him about why his mood suddenly flipped like this, I decided not to. I didn't want to bring back any kind of pain.
"I think I'm going to take Boltund on his morning walk. I recommend you eat, Mads. We won't be eating until we get home," Dad said. As soon as he touched Boltund's harness, Boltund rushed over as fast as he could and nearly jumped into it. If there's something that Boltund loves, it's walks. But...I still felt terrible. What if he was going out to cry or something? Being in the band was a mistake. Sometimes, I just feel like I'm the mistake. I know I whine about this every single time I write, but I just don't understand why I keep causing people I care about so much pain! This all just has to be some kind of cruel punishment for reading that letter. It just has to be.
"I-I think I'll be all right without food, I can finish this when I get home. I'll come with you!" I said with a smile. I was about to get up, but Dad shook his head as he worked on getting Boltund ready.
"Mads, you need your energy to do your best at practice. Don't worry about me. I...just want to spend some time with Boltund, is all," Dad said. As much as I tried to protest, he left without me. The guilt was so overpowering. I hated it. It made me feel even worse than I already did! I really hope that he just wanted to spend time with his dog and that he wasn't just crying his eyes out or something. Way to go, Maddie. Way to go.
I tried to finish my food, but I ended up giving about half of it to Mawile because I just felt too sick to eat. For some reason, I started thinking about my mom again. I just wish I knew who she is. I just want to give a name and face to the monster who left Dad alone like this. The woman who gave him so much hope, so much excitement in starting a family...then completely abandoned everything. Seriously, if she didn't want me, why didn't she just...get rid of me? She could've done it if she wanted to. She didn't have to ruin Dad like this. Maybe if I were out of the picture, they'd still be together. I'd rather see Dad have a partner than a child, to be honest. He just seems like someone who would be so happy in a marriage, or at least some kind of romantic relationship, but no. He chose to make himself miserable to raise his illegitimate child. I've wasted sixteen years of his life. I just can't forgive myself for stuff like this.
While Dad was gone, I cleaned the excess peanut butter off of Mezuma's face, much to his dismay, took my shower, tried to do something with my nasty hair, and changed into the uniform. I still think my butt sticks out of the shorts way too much, but no one says anything, so I guess it's just my own modesty getting in the way. Dad doesn't seem to care, so it must be fine. Trying to hide the fact that I was engulfed in my own little pity party, I texted Bede, who, of course, was blowing up my phone about the concert tonight. First, he was obsessed with what I was going to wear, so I just sent him a picture of the green dress I wore when I had dinner with Leon. Then, he asked me if I had anything black, since he would be wearing a black suit. I sent him the photo of the one black dress I have, which is honestly a bit on the short and low-cut side, then Bede scolded me for my choice of clothes, despite this being on of the dresses that Sonia had me buy, and told me to just wear the green one since he didn't want to be "involved in any scandals." It's not like a ton of people know who he is, but okay. I'm pretty sure that this is a semi-formal event and everything. I'm not going to go there in a freaking ball gown, if that's what he wants. Then, he got on about how if I wanted to wear heels, I couldn't wear ones that were high enough so that I'd be taller than him, and gave me his exact height. Well, for one thing, I don't wear heels, and...I'd have to wear six inch heels to even be as tall as him, but I didn't dare tell him that, lest I get scolded for being sassy with him. Then, he felt the need to remind me that if I was even a minute late, he'd leave without me. Not like I freaking care. Bede is one of the moodiest people I've ever met. For his equal, for one of the chairman's chosen ones, he sure doesn't treat me like an equal. Seriously, I'm not even sure why I like him. Trying to help him become a better person has gone absolutely nowhere. It's a bummer, really. He's a pretty attractive boy, he seems to have a lot of potential in him...but his personality is just such a downside. I mean, yeah, I think Leon is freaking hot, but he also treats me, and everyone else, so well. Some could argue that it's just a public image thing, but he still treats us well outside of League stuff as well. Leon's just an incredibly kind, outgoing person, and it's why he makes such a good Champion. Well, the battling is what makes him a good Champion, but you know what I mean.
After arguing with Bede for a little while, Dad finally came home, unhooking Boltund from his harness. Boltund, probably a bit tired from his walk, went to go and fight Zangoose for the bed. Dad smiled as he saw me in the cursed uniform, going upstairs to change into his own. I followed him, though as he went in his room to change, I went and grabbed the guitar that Angie was kind enough to lend me, the amp, as well as my sheet music, which was in a folder with Politoed on it, which Angie bought me as compensation for taking her place. I didn't ask for it or anything, she just felt the need to. That's kind of her, I suppose. It doesn't help with my inferiority complex, but it's nice. Shortly after, I saw Dad come downstairs, bass in hand. Luckily for him, he had a spare amp that he keeps at the Gym, so he doesn't have to carry it back and forth. Obviously, since we don't have any guitar amps, we have to carry Angie's to and from the Gym. Well, Dad is the one who's kind enough to carry it for me, since I'm not exactly the strongest of people.
Since I would be back before I went with Bede, I decided to leave the Pokémon at home. At least they'd be able to hang out with Dad's team instead of being trapped in their balls all day. Besides, I won't be by myself, so I'm not worried about getting mugged or anything. I mean, the streets of Galar are pretty safe, but still, I like to have Pokémon with me when I'm by myself. With that, we were off to practice. It was a decent day out, especially for the Circhester area, so we decided to walk to the Gym instead of taking a cab. Part of me was happy about that, considering that I didn't necessarily want a ton of people seeing Dad and me walking with matching uniforms. When we're in the Gym, I understand, considering that everyone in the band wears the uniform, but out of context, it just looks a little...strange in my opinion.
"So...Hammerlocke University, huh?" Dad asked as we entered the city and passed the massive school. "Can't say that I ever imagined you going to a concert here of all places. I think the last concert you've been to is when I took you to see the Maximizers when you were...what, four?" He smiled. Yeah, I think it was around that time…
"I mean, I wouldn't have chosen to go if he didn't seem so...intent on t-taking me," I replied, not wanting to make it sound like it was a date, but also not conveying the fact that Bede doesn't treat me very well to Dad. If Dad found out about Bede, he'd probably go to the chairman about it, and then they'd just start arguing more. I don't want them to argue anymore! I'm so sick of all the arguing!
"Hey, you might end up enjoying yourself! There's some...pretty talented people who are going to be singing there. Even if you don't particularly enjoy the music, there's a lot you can learn. I think it'll be a good experience for you, Mads," Dad smiled. As we passed the university, we soon made our way to the Gym. As per usual, since Dad's the leader of the band, we were the first people to show up, though, in a matter of time, everyone else made their way in.
First was Otto, who's on the keyboard. He looks to be in his late 20's or early 30's... I'm not quite sure, but I definitely know that he's younger than Dad. He, like Dad, isn't married, but as far as I know, he doesn't have any kids. He appears timid when you first meet him, which, with his sickly pale skin, messy blonde hair, and dull gray eyes, could make someone quick to judge him, but the moment his fingers touch the keyboard, which is a vintage one passed down from his own father, he comes alive. His eyes light up and, to be honest, look more silver than gray. His skin gets a warm glow to it. His voice, a baritone, if I had to guess, with its subtle Galarian accent, booms through the mic. He's a good musician and a good Trainer. His Gym Pokémon are his Raichu and his Togedemaru, both of whom he treats so kindly. His Raichu and Softy get along pretty well, which I think is really sweet.
Secondly, we had the lead singer...and, honestly, I don't quite know his real name. According to Dad, everyone just calls him "Hertz." Not a lot is known about his past...he doesn't even seem to know. If I had to guess...he can't be older than 25. He's not a teenager, but he's not a super mature adult, either. Maybe around Leon's age? I'm not exactly sure why, but...Hertz kinda reminds me of Nessa. It's not just because of the skin tone or anything. I didn't mean it that way. It's just that his face...he seems to share a lot of facial features with Nessa...and even Brooke. Same skin color, same hair color...the only real difference is the eyes. Both of the girls have blue eyes while Hertz has brown. He has an amazing vocal range, which is probably why he's the band's lead singer. The two Pokémon he uses are Manectric and a Boltund of his own.
Lastly, admittedly a bit late to practice, was Blake, the drummer and other girl in the group. Until now, I didn't really know that Blake could be a female name, to be honest. She's the newest member of Dad's band, joining just two years ago, but she's already a natural and it feels like she's been with them for decades. Not counting me, since I'm just temporary and all, she's the youngest of the group, at only 17 years old. To call her wild would be a bit of an understatement. When she plays, she plays hard. Dad often has to tell her to tone it down a bit. It's not just her playing that's wild, though...it's her whole style. Her long, shaggy hair, which is naturally black, guessing by the roots, is dyed electric yellow, but has some purple in it to reflect the colors of her Gym uniform. She seems to wear pretty subtle makeup, minus some pretty dramatic black eyeshadow, which, at least in my opinion, was a pretty nice contrast with her very bright colors. For the Gym, she uses a Morpeko and a Heliolisk, though I know that she has an Amped Toxtricity of her own, as well as an Exploud. In fact, the band has used her Exploud as a speaker before, which I find pretty cool.
"Glad to see that everyone made it in time!" Dad said cheerfully, choosing to ignore the fact that Blake came in a bit late. "I watched the recording I made of our last practice a few times last night, and I've come up with a few things that we could improve. First and foremost, Maddie needs to sing louder, but I already talked her ear off about that this morning," he said with a chuckle, nudging me as I tried to get my little station set up. I sighed a little. Yeah, yeah, sing louder. I get it.
"Blake, I absolutely love your passion for music. You're a very talented girl...which is why I try to give you as many solos as possible. But...when you're not having a solo, I'm going to have to ask you to tone it down again…" Dad said with another chuckle.
"Got it. Thanks, John," Blake said, fiddling with her sticks. She was probably expecting him to say that. When we're playing pieces that have pretty prominent percussion...and sometimes, songs that don't, she overpowers the rest of the band quite a lot. Though, during performances, she seems to mellow out a bit, maybe out of nervousness. It's kind of a good thing, since she's not overpowering when we're in front of people.
"Otto, before we start practice, I want to experiment with some of the settings on your keyboard. There's something about it that I just don't think sounds right. I'm hoping that we can get it sounding right again after some fiddling," Dad explained. Personally, I don't think anything sounded wrong with it, but Dad's way more experienced than I am. He has perfect pitch, too...so even if it was a tiny bit out of tune, Dad would be able to hear it. Otto nodded.
"Hertz, your mic was cutting out a bit during the end of last practice. I think you need to che-"
"Already did so, John! Replaced the cable, now it's working fine," Hertz said, making Dad smile, pat him on the shoulder, and say that he expected nothing less from Hertz. He's definitely Dad's second-in-command, but he still treats all of his band members equally.
"I would be a hypocrite if I didn't point something out that I need to work on, so I'll admit that I should probably tone things down, too. Angie's a very loud player, so I'm used to playing loud to properly complement her...I'm sure you are, too, Blake. But...Maddie doesn't have a lot of confidence in herself, so she's not at Angie's level yet. That's to be expected, though," Dad said, looking at me and giving a bright smile. He didn't have to mention that...I know he's trying to encourage me and everything, but I can't exactly say that it's working.
After this, Dad and Otto, like they wanted to, fiddled with the keyboard until they finally decided on something that sounded good, so after that, practice officially started. It was...fine, I guess. As well as practice could go. I just don't really have the heart to tell Dad that the band isn't for me. At least it's just until Angie comes back. I'm in the home stretch now, I just need to keep it up for a few more days. For what seemed like years, but was only a few hours, we went through each song that we'll be playing for the big New Year's concert, Dad constantly interrupting to give his feedback. If I'm being honest, by the end of it, I was pretty annoyed with him. I guess the rest of the band was used to it, but I sure wasn't. I'll admit that I do tend to be more fragile than others and have issues when it comes to criticism, hence why I try to avoid rumors like the plague, but constantly being told that you need to play or sing louder will get to you after the first dozen times, especially when I, with my limited musical knowledge, thought it sounded fine. But...Dad's the expert here, so who am I to judge? I'm not some kind of rebellious teenage figure or anything...I think I'm way too on the submissive side, to be honest, but I just couldn't find the courage to sing louder. I already have terrible anxiety, and singing in front of people would make it a thousand times worse. I don't want to go that route and complain about Dad not being able to understand what I go through and that gubbins, but I do feel as if he can't underestimate my issues sometimes. I'm not introverted or anything, I'm just...awkward. I'm awkward just talking to people, but singing in front of them? Yeah, don't think I can do it. All this to say that I'm going to do things at a volume that makes me comfortable. Dad may be ticked during the concert, but he'll get over it...hopefully. I always assumed that Dad's someone to quickly forgive and forget, but this whole thing with Chairman Rose seriously has me doubting that. I can't afford to have Dad hate me! Where am I going to live if he kicks me out? With freaking Raihan? I don't know if I could even last a month living with him. He'd probably end up murdering me, whether or not it would be intentional is to be decided.
After the semi-grueling practice, the band split up, and we all headed home. You'd think I'd feel relieved after getting yet another practice over with, but I was still pretty stressed. I didn't know if going to the concert with Bede would be better or worse, and quite frankly, it was getting to me. Some gut feeling told me that I'd end up liking practice more than this concert. Being told to be louder is better than being belittled by Bede for...hours. I didn't know if he was going to be manageable or not. Like, it's not a date or anything, at least I don't think it is, but I really don't want to walk out on my first semi-date...thing. Then it just sets the bar low for actual dates that I may go on in the future. Honestly, I might just be hopeless. I'm pretty sure I am. Seriously, no luck with men whatsoever. Piers probably doesn't like me, Bede probably doesn't like me, and Leon...he's either really oblivious or really dumb. Not like I ever had a chance with him anyway. The only man, if I can even call him that, who seems to have any interest in me is Al, and even if it was romantic, which it isn't, I obviously wouldn't encourage it since, y'know, he's eleven. But it's not romantic...it's worse. It's...creepy. Honestly, it's borderline obsession at this point. I know I haven't been talking about him much, but I don't...think I should. I can't say that I'm a superstitious person, but I'm kind of nervous about talking about Al too much. I already have enough dreams where he's trying to kill me.
As soon as I got home, going against my gut feeling, I went upstairs to get ready. Bede said that he'd go without me if I wasn't ready on time, and part of me wouldn't have minded that, but I knew I had to do the right thing. I said I'd go with him, so I had to keep that promise. What's one bad night...right? I...should probably smuggle the antacid and take it with me to avoid tearing my hair out. I already destroyed a pair of my distressed jeans by picking at the loose threads until the entire thing gave out and ripped right down the leg. I could easily tear out large chunks of my hair. I'm honestly nervous about hair loss when I'm older because I keep tearing it out. It already has trouble growing.
Letting out an admittedly dramatic sigh, I got dressed, got Bede's book ready, and headed downstairs. I still had a bit of time before Bede would come knocking at my door, so I'm not really sure why I decided to get ready so early. Probably because I didn't want Bede giving me an earful if I was a millisecond late or something. His temper is also why I made sure that his gift looked FLAWLESS. I used a freaking paper cutter to make sure that the wrapping paper was cut out in a straight line and was equal on all sides. I actually ended up throwing three perfectly good pieces away because of minor imperfections that I was afraid Bede would bark my ear off about. Yeah, I definitely don't expect to get anything in return from Bede. Knowing him, he'll make up some malarkey about how his presence was my gift or something. I'd prefer not to get anything from him. If he ends up actually getting me that phone, I'll feel guilty about it for the rest of my life. Yeah, I know that he probably would've used the chairman's money, but still! I'd live the rest of my life knowing that he got me a phone and all I got him was a lousy book!
"Are you sure you're not going on a date, Mads? I don't think I've ever seen you that dressed up to just go with friends," Dad teased, working on making some food for the two of us. Seriously, why is he acting like this? Is this him telling me that he wants me to move out or something? Does he want to finally get me married off so he can retire and go on a world food tour or something? Yeah, I could see Dad doing that. Maybe even livestream him going to different regions and eating a bunch of crap. I'm sure that would be popular. It seems that celebrities doing anything these days gets popular. Heck, I bet if someone uploaded a video of Leon and Raihan playing chess or something mundane like that, it would get millions of views. Well, I shouldn't judge them. I'd sure as heck watch it. Though, maybe I shouldn't have used those two as an example. That's the thing about Leon and Raihan. They could make something like mowing the grass seem exciting. In fact, if those two would play a game of chess, it would probably end in bloodshed...and that's what people like nowadays, isn't it? Watching violence and watching people stuff a load of carbs in their gobs. I don't get it, and it's why I tend to stay away from a lot of social media. Yes, Raihan calls me a caveman for it, but look at him. He's addicted to the stuff. He'd probably have a stroke if he misplaced his phone, which would be exceedingly hard, considering that a Pokémon lives inside of it. I, on the other hand, lose my phone at least twice a day. Granted, if I had a phone that wasn't a piece of crap that's hanging onto life by a mere thread, maybe I'd have a different opinion. But at least right now, I don't see what the big deal is. I'm definitely more of a computer person, considering that I can't really edit photos or anything on my phone. But that's why I keep my old hunk of junk. I have a feeling that if I would get one of those fancy new phones that I could edit my stuff on, I'd just get lazy. I know myself well enough. And, considering that I work for the freaking Pokémon League, that's...not recommended. But, enough about phones.
"No, Dad, it's not a date. We're just friends. Nothing more, nothing less," I replied, giving him a small smile and shaking my head. I didn't want to ask him about wanting me gone or something like that. I really didn't want to offend him. That's probably just me being dramatic anyway. I mean, I'm only sixteen, after all. And Bede's like what, thirteen? So, even if Bede and I were to get in a relationship, I couldn't get married off right then and there. Even then, by the time Bede would even be of age, I'd be an adult. But...Leon on the other hand…
"I'm just kidding, Mads. You start going on dates when you're ready. I wasn't even interested in girls until my early 20's," Dad said with a smile. I mean, he still really isn't interested in girls. Assuming that he never really tried to date anyone else after my mom left, which he possibly could have done when I was a baby and I just don't remember, Mom was really the last date he's had in like...almost 20 years. I mean, if Dad's happy living the single life, then maybe I'll be happy, too. I don't know...it just seems pretty lonely. I know he has me and everything, but one can only get so much happiness out of dealing with an extremely hormonal teenage girl every day. Dad's just...a strange man. I'll say that.
So, Dad finished making our food, and as we sat down and ate, I couldn't help but get lost in my thoughts again. Like, I've been constantly telling Dad, and in a way, myself, that this is just a fun little get-together with a friend and 100 percent not a date, but...is it? I mean, just because a guy and a girl go out together doesn't mean it's a date...if it did mean that, Raihan and I would be in a sticky situation. But...this wasn't like Raihan. When Raihan invites me to go somewhere with me, he basically just tells me he's going and that I'm going with him. Most of the time it's last-minute and I have to scramble to get situated before he comes banging at my door. But, with Bede...it's so formal! He called ahead of time, and, though he didn't necessarily ask me as much as he just said he's taking me, he gave me a date and time, and made sure I was free...and if I wasn't, he would've made me cancel any other plans for sure. Not to mention the venue. Hammerlocke University is the most prestigious school in all of Galar. Many high-up Trainers, including Chairman Rose himself, have graduated from the place. Their music program isn't just a bunch of rowdy uni students getting instruments. It's not like Dad's band where a bunch of pals get together and put on a show for a bunch of drunk people every Friday night. These people are the real deal. The big cheese. These become the guys and gals who perform for all the big, fancy places and get paid a lot of money to do so. Dad said that he always wanted to apply to go there, but he didn't have enough confidence in his abilities to do so. Besides, the university tends to have an emphasis on classical music, and Dad's a jazz lover at heart. With what he does now, with performing for the late night show and his work at the club, I doubt he'd even have time for studies, especially during the Gym Challenge when he's working and stuff. Hey, he doesn't need a fancy education to be a good musician. I just brought it up because Hammerlocke University, being prestigious and all, is insanely expensive to attend. Even the concerts and stuff are stupidly expensive, mainly because they have actual celebrities attend and stuff. I know that last year, this famous Kalosian opera singer named Fauna de la Fontaine attended. I considered going to watch it since I've heard a lot of good things about her, but it was way too expensive and for some reason, Dad seemed to be uncomfortable with the idea. Not sure why. Maybe he just didn't want me getting really into opera and annoying the crap out of him with it or something. Dad always says that music like that is an "acquired taste." I looked at the university's website to see who would be attending tonight's concert, but I didn't recognize any of the names, so I'm not sure what's going to be in store tonight. But, no matter who's there, they've definitely been paid a lot of money to drop by. While I was on the website, I also managed to find the price of the tickets. I mean, I'm CERTAIN that Chairman Rose paid for the tickets, but still, do people who are only friends do expensive stuff like that together? I have no idea. I'm seriously confused on whether this is a date or not.
After I finished eating, I saw that there was still a decent amount of time before Bede would come pick me up, assuming that he'd come on time and not like an hour early or something, so after helping Dad clean up, I grabbed my folder and my pen, sitting back down at the dining room table and pulling out a piece of paper. To be honest...I've been working on writing a song. And, admittedly...it's about Leon. Okay, it's a love song about Leon. It's a love song written for Leon. I know I should be working on my photography and stuff, but I just can't help it. It's just one of those things that kept eating away at me, y'know? I have a few scripts for the lyrics written down in a different notebook, one that I keep hidden so there's no way that Dad will EVER find the lyrics...considering that he's helping me out with the actual music. I'm not that great at writing music, but from my studying and practicing with various books that I found from charity shops or on the Internet, I have a basic understanding of it. Dad's definitely a lot better at it than I am, so as much as I'd like to write the song all by myself, I really want to wow Leon with it by making it sound...good! So, I decided that once I'm done with the main melody of the song, I'd have Dad fix it up to make it less sloppy, and then possibly help me with some guitar accompaniment.
I know, I know. It definitely seems foolish of me to write a love song about one guy whilst waiting for a possible date with another, but right now I just really don't know what to do! Plenty of other girls would've had their minds made up right now, but I'm stuck in between a rock and a hard place. This is about the most stereotypical teenage girl issue I've ever had in my life, but dang it, it's hard! And I don't really have anyone but this diary to talk about it to. There's people like Dad and Chairman Rose who really seem to not want me with Leon and will choose Bede by default. There's people like Raihan, whom I still can't tell if they think I even have a chance with either of them. There's the neutral people, like Melony, who just tell me that I should go where my heart takes me. Then there's Opal, who's just...crazy. That's all I can describe her as. Crazy. Which is why I'm writing this stupid song anyway! It's my way of telling Leon I like him...but the more cowardly way. Once I get things finalized, I'll move the file to a flash drive, and probably...stick it in his mailbox or something because I think I'd faint if I gave it to him directly. And, considering that it's just a song, if he rejects me, I can make up some crappy excuse about me doing a cover of a really obscure pop song from who-knows-when and just wanted his feedback on it, despite him not being musically inclined...at all. I was considering including it in his Secret Santa gift, but I want to take my time with it. He's already going to hate the other stuff I got him, I don't want my reputation to be crushed even further. Just, when I spend time with Leon...I don't feel like as much of a loser. I don't feel like a big, fat nobody. When I'm around him, I actually feel like somebody. Even if Leon doesn't like me in that way, I still feel loved. As much as I'd like it to be romantic love...it's love nonetheless. I know there's other people who love me and all, but when I'm with Leon, that feeling is the strongest. I can't really explain it beyond that. Like, my house could be on fire or something, but if Leon were there, I'd still feel calm and have Butterfree fluttering around in my stomach.
Though, admittedly, I didn't make much progress on the song tonight. Admittedly, I got so caught up in the lyrics, which I didn't even have with me at the time, that I only got a few more measures of the melody written before I heard a knock at the door. It was undoubtedly Bede...and he was early. Wow, he really didn't have faith in me. He probably figured I'd still be getting ready or something. I was going to make a mad dash for the door to get out of there as soon as possible, in case Bede and Dad got into an argument or something, but to my dismay, before that even processed through my brain, Dad was already out of his seat and heading towards the door. Great, we weren't even out of the house yet and I was already on the verge of having a nervous breakdown. As Dad went to answer the door, I went to the cupboard, grabbed the box of antacid packets, which Dad had to start buying because I always end up going through the bottles of both liquids and solids way too quickly, and shoved a few in my bra for safekeeping. Hey, the dress I was wearing didn't have pockets, and a little bit of discomfort around the chest area is better than me having a heart attack in the middle of a fancy schmancy concert. Needless to say, if that happened, it would ruin any chance I'd have with Bede. He'd probably never talk to me again.
"And who do I have the pleasure of speaking with tonight? Are you perhaps the young lad who's taking my daughter to Hammerlocke?" Dad said when he answered the door. Peering around him, I saw that Bede was dressed in a very nice suit. Part of me was hoping that Bede would lip off at him and make him decide that he didn't want me going...but needless to say, I was shocked.
"Yes, sir. Bede. It's a pleasure to meet you," Bede said, extending his hand for Dad to shake. He's standing here shaking hands with the guy that he constantly bad-mouthed! Seriously, if people had abilities like Pokémon, Bede's would be Moody. Because that's what he is. Moody.
"Well, as much as I'd love to have a chat with you, you should probably get to the university before it gets too crowded. I for one know that Maddie's raring to go," Dad said, looking at me and giving me a little wink. I already started to feel sick to my stomach, but I couldn't bust out the antacid yet. I still had the whole night and I only grabbed a few packs. "So, I'll let you two go. Just have her home by eleven...and don't get too crazy out there," Dad teased, moving aside so I could leave. The cold Circhester air on my steaming hot face felt pretty nice. Hopefully it would make me less red during the concert. I need things to be perfect. I'll have a better chance at coming home from the concert alive if they are.
"Of course, Mr. Castellana. You have my word," Bede said, doing that sassy hair flip of his, which, combined with the suit, admittedly made him look pretty dapper. I expected him to have a complete mood swing and start bad-mouthing Dad again as soon as he closed the door, but to my surprise, he didn't. He actually remained pleasant!
"Might I say, Maddie, now that I actually see you in that dress, I must admit, you look quite stunning in it. It accentuates your features very well," Bede said, making me blush way too hard. I'm really hoping he wasn't talking about my boobs...considering that the sweetheart neckline does...admittedly show a lot of skin. Though, luckily the long sleeves help to cover it up...a bit. I'm really hoping he was talking about how the emerald green makes my brown eyes or freckles pop...something like that. I'm already self-conscious about my bust because of freaking Sonia, I don't need someone else pointing it out. Especially not a boy. That's just embarrassing.
"W-Well...thank you! You look quite nice as well…" I said, trying not to reach into my bra and start popping the antacids right then and there. I don't know how to freaking react when people call me attractive...because I just don't think I am. He's just trying to flatter me. It's obvious.
Running his fingers through his hair again, Bede called a cab. We were just going to Hammerlocke, but I guess he didn't want to risk us going there in our nice clothing and ruining them. All I need is to go to a nice event looking like a trash heap. Or, depending on who you ask, even more of a trash heap.
Within minutes, our cab got here, and whilst I hoped that Bede and I would be the only ones boarding, it looked like a full house. Most of the people were in formal clothing, so I assumed that they were going to the concert as well. There wasn't a ton of room left in the cab, so I let Bede in, then squished myself against the door. I'm not entirely sure why they even let us in...maybe all the other cabs were taken...or, of course, the cabbie wanted as many tips as possible. I just felt bad for the Corviknight that had to carry us. I hope it gets a lot of food and praise once it's done with its route.
"Well, I'm glad that I purchased our tickets early. It seems that they're going to have a full house. I for one would be humiliated if they were sold out when I called...or if we were stuck in the peanut gallery. I can't even imagine the poor goons who have to sit there," Bede said, looking around the cab, most likely judging to see if any of the "goons" he mentioned were in the cab with us. I don't know, everyone looked pretty nice! Part of me regretted wearing a dress that could be seen as casual or semi-formal, but...hopefully no one notices me. Usually I want people to tell me I look nice, but I already got enough of that. Now, I don't want people to look at me. At all.
After a very claustrophobic ride with me fearing that I'd be tossed out the open window a few times, we finally arrived in Hammerlocke. As soon as the cabbie opened the door, I nearly tumbled out if Bede wouldn't have grabbed my arm. I was considering not tipping the cabbie for overcrowding the taxi, but I felt bad and did it anyway...though it wasn't a lot. Definitely not as much as I usually give them. I didn't feel too bad about it, considering how many other people were in the cab and all.
Luckily, the walk to Hammerlocke University wasn't a super long one, so Bede and I decided that we'd wait for the crowds to clear up a bit. After all, the tickets were for specific seats, so it's not like people could take them. I was already squished against a bunch of people for the entirety of the taxi ride, I didn't need more of it. It just makes me feel upset about my size again. If I were thinner, that wouldn't have happened. I probably would've been able to sit comfortably. But, no. I just don't know what I'm doing wrong. I've asked Maple about it since she's super into nutrition and stuff like that, but she said that I have a pretty balanced diet. That, along with me getting a good amount of exercise, should be helping me lose weight, but I just...don't! And any time I try to stop eating, Dad makes me get back on track. I just can't believe Bede hasn't cracked any snarky fat jokes yet. That just seems like something he'd do. Though, I'm not complaining. I already have self-esteem issues, I really don't need any more of them.
"So...still considering joining the Gym Challenge?" I asked, fiddling with the strap of my purse. I don't wear purses very often, but I borrowed it from Nessa because it was a good size to put the book in. I figured that carrying a purse around would be better than lugging around my huge backpack. That, and Bede wouldn't question it.
"Of course I am! I'm still intent on becoming the Galar Region's newest Champion, after all. It's been over a bloody decade since the last one. What we need is change! Besides, if I become the new Champion, Chairman Rose will respect me even more! Right now, he still has his doubts about me. I can tell. Which is why when he sees how well I'll do in the Gym Challenge, he'll have no choice but to acknowledge that I was worth the sponsorship money. Then, with me as the Champion and you as the beloved goddaughter, we'll be the chairman's rightful heirs...truly unstoppable," Bede said. I couldn't help but raise an eyebrow. Was this a night out in Hammerlocke or some kind of medieval play? Because it was kinda sounding like the latter. Beloved goddaughter...rightful heirs...I don't even know what he's saying. I mean, Bede already refuses to acknowledge that Chairman Rose is no longer my legal godfather...but then again, the chairman has said that when he passes, he intends on leaving as much as he can for me, considering that he doesn't have a wife or kids of his own...and I'm fairly certain that this brother he referred to is dead. So, I guess that makes me his heir, but I don't know where Bede fits himself into the story. Is he thinking that becoming the Champion will immediately make Chairman Rose change his will? Is he thinking that I'll just immediately fall head-over-heels in love with him and we'll get married on the spot? Well, if Bede thinks that I like Leon because of his status, he's wrong. Leon could be a random hobo and I'd still love him. He's just so...darn nice! Not just to me, to everyone! He's an amazing person. I still have...complicated feelings about Bede, but I've gone into this way too many times. Nothing has changed. My brain still gives me incredibly mixed signals that make things DIFFICULT. Maybe this little get-together will change things, for better or for worse.
"W-Well...I see. As always, I wish you the best of luck. It looks like the crowd has cleared up, so how about we head in?" I said with a smile. Bede nodded, and we soon found ourselves making our way towards Hammerlocke University. The school is massive, with tons of huge buildings and long hallways. I can't even imagine Leon going in here. Someone would need to tie him to a leash...or else there'd have to be a search and rescue mission organized to get him out of there. Well, luckily...Leon probably wouldn't get accepted into this place. As kind as he is...to put it bluntly, he isn't the most intelligent. Pokémon battles are a completely different story, but with general intelligence...Hop has the brains of the two. I seriously don't know how Leon grew up around the Magnolia girls...both of them are brilliant. As much as I hate to admit it, Sonia's got a lot of brains. She knows a lot about Pokémon and about the history of the Galar region. And Maple's an amazing cook and nutritionist. I'd rather go and see her than a doctor, honestly. I think she even gives Nessa advice...and look at how freaking gorgeous Nessa is. I want to be like her...like Maple, like Sonia...like anyone but me! Like, if Maple didn't have terrible social anxiety, I'd try and talk her into entering the Miss Galar pageant...because she'd WIN. I'm fairly certain that Maple could even win the "world's most beautiful Trainer" stuff they do in magazines and the like. Seriously, with all these beautiful girls in the world, how do I even have a chance? I should just give up at this point.
As Bede and I finally made our way to the concert hall, I looked around in awe. I'm no architect, but seriously, it was gorgeous. Intricate carvings, beautifully painted walls, sturdy yet aesthetically pleasing structures, comfortable seatings, and a huge chandelier in the middle of the room. It was gigantic, too. There was balcony seating, but Bede and I didn't have that. Our seats were in the middle section, closer to the back, but still a great view of the stage. Unfortunately, I didn't have my camera on me, so the only pictures I could take were with my wack phone. After taking a few admittedly low-quality photos of the hall, I sent them to Dad and turned to Bede. I saw that he had his Hatenna out. I left my Pokémon at home so they wouldn't have to be cramped in their balls for a good few hours...and to be honest, I don't think any of them would've liked it. I can't exactly have the big ones like Mezuma or Zangoose out in a venue like this, and I don't think this would be Mawile's cup of tea. Maybe Flapple would've enjoyed it, but he probably would've started whining for food in the middle of it and gotten me kicked out. Yeah, they're definitely better at home with Dad. I wanted to say that he's playing video games with Raihan, but I'm pretty sure I caught a glimpse of old Dragon Bloke when I was getting off the cab. Probably making sure that Bede didn't freaking kill me or anything. That, or finding a reason to make fun of me if he happened to catch me after the event. I'm guessing the latter.
"She likes classical music, huh?" I asked with a smile, looking at his Hatenna. She'd gotten a bit bigger since the last time I saw her. I still don't think she's close to evolving, though, which I find strange. She's been with Bede for a very long time. Maybe he's holding back? Knowing Bede, I would've expected him to start out the Gym Challenge with an entire team of fully-evolved Pokémon. Then again, Chairman Rose probably wouldn't let him do that.
"It's her favorite. You know, the chairman was talking to me about how letting Pokémon listen to their favorite music can theoretically help them grow stronger. It's still being experimented with, but I for one believe that there's potential. I'm excited to see how well she trains after this," Bede said, looking down at his Pokémon. I mean, she looks fairly happy, so I'm assuming that he treats her well, but I hope that he doesn't expect her to start defeating enemies left and right after just listening to a bit of music. Music is powerful, don't get me wrong, but I don't know if it's that powerful. I don't want Bede getting all these ideas in his head and then getting mad when things don't live up to his expectations, y'know?
After chatting with Bede about music for a little longer, the lights dimmed, the concert starting. The conductor, a plump, jolly-looking bloke, came and gave his spiel about what would be going on for the night, then introduced the first of three guests that would be performing with the choir. Like I said, I didn't recognize any of the special guests, so I can't really give my feedback. From the start, I kinda assumed that I was going to be bored. Pretty much all the terminology, titles, and stuff like that was going right over my head. My brain constantly reminded me that I'm a photographer, not a musician. Sure, I've learned, and sure, Dad's taught me a lot, but this just made me feel dumb. I felt like a primary school student taking university-level music classes, if that makes any sense.
The first guest introduced was just a pianist. Once again, an older gentleman. I looked at the pamphlet I was given, trying to see how long this would last. It looked like they'd be doing three songs with every guest. I wanted to make up some dumb excuse about going to the bathroom and conveniently not coming out until the concert was done, but Bede would probably catch me. And...I don't doubt that he'd walk right into the ladies' room to come and yell at me. So, I dealt with it.
After what honestly felt like hours, the first three songs were over. Like, don't get me wrong, the guy was good and all, but I can't exactly say I'm super into piano. Or, at least classical piano. This seems more like something Otto would enjoy...sort of. And, to be honest, most of the pieces were from operas I didn't know, in a language I couldn't understand, and just kinda gave me a headache. I didn't care for it much. Though, based on how much applause he got, I was definitely a minority. But then again, someone who's not super into classical music probably wouldn't pay a ton of money to come here. I was just invited. I'm sure that if I knew more of the context...and went into it with more of an open mind...I would've been more into it.
Though, things started to get better. The next guest, the more traditional classical singer and a graduate of the university, blew my mind for sure. Her pieces were still ones that I didn't know super well, but they were actually in a language I understood! Not Galarian, but I still understood it. Dad always says it's archaic and doesn't understand why I insisted on learning it, but with so many languages deriving from it, including my grandparents' native tongue, I figured that learning it would be beneficial. That, and science stuff.
This was by far my favorite part of the concert. Whilst the last segment felt like it took hours, this one unfortunately felt like it lasted about ten seconds. The second song in particular hit me and I found myself humming it all night. It must have been something that Hammerlocke University performed regularly, as it took me back to times where I'd walk through the city in the snowy winters, listening to the melody as I made my way to the station, getting ready to go home and drink some hot chocolate. It was just oddly nostalgic...something I recognized, despite never really hearing it. I also probably liked this segment so much because it primarily featured the pipe organ, which I think is an amazing instrument, despite Dad not liking it. If it wasn't so insanely complicated, I'd learn it...I don't know how I would, but I would. I would HAPPILY sit through the first third of the concert just to hear those three songs again. That vocalist was amazing, too. I didn't think I'd be into it as much as I was, but I swear it actually brought tears to my eyes. I always assumed that classical music was one big bunch, but it turns out there's a lot more to it than I thought. This concert was helping me learn what I liked and what I didn't.
To conclude things, the final guest was a famous film composer. I'm not too big on films, but I'd heard of him before. He's really big down in Unova...I'm fairly certain that he makes the soundtracks for pretty much all of the immensely popular films down there. The concert concluded with three of his more popular vocal pieces. This was nice, but nowhere near as amazing as the middle segment to me. I'd heard most of the songs, despite not really watching the films, and enjoyed it, but the whole time, the previous songs were lingering in my head and I still found myself humming along to them. I'm surprised that Bede didn't elbow me or anything.
Just like that, the choir concluded with one final song, and the concert was over. Despite the rough start, I had a very good time and I'd certainly do it again, which was something I didn't expect! As Bede and I headed out, I caught a glimpse of the woman who blew my mind talking to people who I presumed were her old scholars, and every muscle in my body had to stop me from rushing over and gushing at her and her performance. But...I couldn't do that. I still had to do the thing that would either make or break my night: give Bede his present. Immediately, I felt myself sweating. He was gonna hate it, wasn't he?
"u-uhh...Bede?" I asked when we exited the university, looking around to make sure that a wild Raihan wasn't in proximity. When he turned to me, brow raised, I pulled the gift out of my purse and handed it to him.
"I-I figured that we wouldn't see each other until Chairman Rose's N-New Year's party, so...I wanted to wish you a merry Christmas…" I stuttered, my face immediately getting red.
"Oh? What's this?" He asked, his eyes widening a bit as he received my gift, carefully undoing the wrapping paper. "The Psychic-Type Lover's Fieldbook?" As he flipped through the pages, my heart started pounding and I legit thought I was gonna either pass out or have a full-on heart attack. But...as he flipped through, he smiled. Not the smirk, either. The genuine smile. The one that made me MELT. My face felt like it was about 200 degrees. I thought I actually was melting.
"Well, I can't say I expected something quite this nice! Thank you, Maddie," Bede said, the smile still on his face. I felt dizzy. I was legitimately scared that I'd throw up and completely ruin the moment. We stared at each other for a few moments, then...it was all a blur. It really was. All I know is that I kissed Bede.
When I snapped back into reality, we were pulling away. My lips were tingling...burning. This was my first kiss since Piers...and I can't even remember if I kissed Piers on the lips or not. My brain has just been trying to shove those memories out. I thought I was going to fall over. I frantically looked around, wondering how many people saw that. A few had to have seen it. There were still a ton of people walking around.
"W-Well…" Bede said, his face red as well, "I suppose we should get going...I-I don't want your father chewing me out," he said, looking at his watch. It was getting pretty late, so I called a cab. The whole time we waited for it, I looked around, trying to see if Raihan was stalking me or something. Though, when the cab arrived and we were heading back to Circhester, Dragon Man finally decided to text me.
"Sooooo, how was your li'l hootenanny?" He asked, making me roll my eyes. As if he hadn't been watching me from his house. As if he didn't see me kiss Bede. As if he didn't know.
After just shrugging it off and telling Raihan that the concert was "fine," despite me enjoying myself, I got off the cab, said goodnight to Bede, and headed home. Of course, I got a bit more teasing from Dad about my "date" when I got there, but after grinning and bearing it, considering that I had a good time, I went upstairs, changed into my pajamas, and got ready for bed. Who knew that sitting and listening to music could take so much out of you! Maybe Bede has a point. Maybe listening to music does help us get stronger. Anything is possible, I suppose!
After hanging the little pamphlet on my bulletin board in a manner that showed off the titles of the three songs that had captivated me, I crawled into bed, shut off the light, took my glasses off, and got ready to get some shut-eye after a pretty decent night. I'm not sure if I would call it a date or not, but Bede and I got along a lot better than I initially expected us to. We both came home in one piece, and we weren't even fighting! Maybe there is hope for him. Maybe he can change. As much as I want to give up on him sometimes, this is an uphill battle...and it's one that I'm going to have to be willing to fight. I'm just hoping that someday, I won't have to fight it alone.
Though, I wouldn't get as much sleep as I hoped to that night. As I drifted off into dreamland, a sudden jolt of panic and anxiety woke me up, and I ended up having an anxiety attack so severe that Boltund had to come in bed and sleep with me. Why, you may ask? Well, only then did it set in that I FREAKING. KISSED. BEDE.