Four months of feeling miserable had passed since Bianca walked away from Janet. Having a high pressure job helped, but away from work, thoughts of Janet and the children were never far from her mind.

Now, on the news, was a report of the latest successful major crime prosecution. And there looking out from the screen was the woman she loved. She re-wound the video, pausing it when Janet appeared outside the court. Seeing her right there magnified the misery of what she had lost. The passion, the giggles, meals shared, the boisterous twins.

Thinking back to the times Janet had pushed her aside, those hurts seemed trivial compared to what she was still going through without her. "I think you've been a fool, Grieve. Why couldn't you accept her as she is, and work on it?"

Should she contact the lover she could not get out of her head? Would she even want to hear from her? Had she moved on? Bianca doubted it. Janet did not easily embrace emotional relationships. Her tendency to so often walk on people's feelings, was evidence enough of that.

What to say? She certainly wouldn't want to appear to be the "needy" person she had spoken of when they had their last row. "Nah. Leave it alone." She shut down the computer and went to bed.

Sleep wouldn't come and she tossed and turned, imagining Janet snuggled in beside her. Chamomile helped, and at last she fell into an uneasy sleep.

In the morning, heart racing, she texted Janet. "Congrats on the case. Well done you!" Did she dare hope for a response? It was hard to concentrate at work, but there was surveillance to organise, so she had to shake off thoughts of Janet.

Come dinner time, still nothing. She picked around her food, feeling more than a little foolish. Standing under the warmth of the shower didn't soothe the ache inside. Impossible to erase memories of bath-times shared.

Her heart jumped into her throat at the sound of her mobile. Her younger sister, Linda. She tried to hide her disappointment. "Hey, Kiddo." Linda was not fooled. "Hey, yourself. Were you expecting someone else?"
Bianca sighed. "I texted Janet this morning."
"Oh, I see. So, you are still pining for her."
"Not easy to fall out of love."
"I don't understand. It's not like you to walk away from a difficult situation. If you love her, what on earth got into you?"
"Like I told you at the time, Janet seems to be forever obsessed with one project or another, and I felt ignored. I thought it wasn't enough, but nothing at all is a whole lot worse. I expected her to know how I felt. I guess she needs things spelt out."
"Well, I hope she answers, and you can work things out, if that's what you really want."
"Yeah, me, too."

After a bit more chat, Linda declared that she was off to watch the latest episode of "A Place to Call Home". She expected to hear immediately of any developments on the Janet front.

Bianca was about to go to bed when a message came through. Janet! "Thanks. It was a good outcome." That was all. Oh, well, at least it was a response.

Chamomile and a comedy on TV helped her to settle, and in spite of her disappointment, she slept quite well.

Before she left for work in the morning, she got brave and texted Janet again. "Can we meet for coffee?"

As she was about to start the car, Janet replied. "I thought you only drank tea!"

Rather than text back, Bianca rang. "Coffee, tea, my treat. Will you?" Somewhat awkwardly, they arranged to meet the next afternoon at their favourite cafe.

Janet was late, as she so often was - more tasks than would fit in the day. "Sorry. I got held up in court." Bianca grinned. "You didn't?!" Janet rolled her eyes. "Yeah, I know. Par for the course."

After Bianca had placed their order, they sat in strained silence. Eventually, they both went to speak at the same time. Janet sat back. "You first." Bianca took a deep breath. "I've missed you. And the kids."

Janet frowned. "I wish you'd thought of that before charging off. It's been really hard for the kids to understand. Liam misses you. Emma thinks it's her fault. Liam agrees with her and I had to read the riot act to stop him raging at her."

Bianca thought her heart would break. "Oh, God! I didn't want to hurt them." A flush spread over her face. "It's been hard for me, too. I should have heard you out, but I felt so minor in your life…" Her voice faded out and Janet almost snapped back. "Yes, you should have. We didn't get to be together as much as we would have liked, but there were times at night when you could have been straight up with me."
"Would it have made any difference?"
"Possibly not, but it wasn't fair to say you'd had no chance to talk to me since I got back from Fiji."
The colour drained from Bianca's face. "No, I suppose it wasn't."

The waiter brought their order - just tea and coffee, they were both too tense to eat. Bianca poured her tea. Janet stared into her cup. Looking up, she fixed Bianca with those steely blue eyes. "Why are we here, Bianca? What do you want? You are the one who walked away."
Bianca hesitated. Should she be cautious? No! Just come right out and say it. "I want to see if we can find a way to be together."

Janet closed her eyes. She had missed Bianca, wanted to be with her but she wasn't prepared to drag Liam and Emma through another break-up.

"I can't put the twins through any more trauma, Bianca." Fleetingly, the longing was in her eyes. "If we see each other again, they have to be kept out of it." Bianca nodded agreement.

Janet looked at her watch. "Damn. I have to fly. Appointment in fifteen minutes."
"Yes, I have to be back at work, too. A late night coming up."
As she headed for the door Janet half turned. "Maybe meet up again. See how we go."

Bianca hurried back to work, feeling both chastised and relieved at the same time. Safely at home after a gruelling night, she was too tired to dwell on dreams of getting back with Janet, and fell quickly into a sound sleep.

Janet leaned against the the door frame, watching her sleeping children. How peaceful they looked. Could she really risk bringing Bianca back into their lives? If she had only herself to consider, Bianca would be in her arms right now. The very thought made her tremble. But these two didn't deserve to be caught up in the middle of an uncertain relationship. Nothing short of permanent would do. "Not sure we can get to that, Bianca. Not even sure that I want to try."

Bianca was absolutely sure that she wanted to try. She re-lived their meeting over and over in her mind - taking hope from Janet's apparent dismay when she realised it was time to go.

Finding time for each other around the demands of their high pressure jobs had always been difficult. Bianca's often crazy hours had added an extra layer to that challenge. And so it proved to be again.

The week following their meeting seemed to fly by, and just as Bianca was thinking she should call Janet, work got in the way. She was seconded to the Gold Coast, for what could be a drawn out operation. "Damn, damn, damn!"

Oh, well, she would text Janet and hope for the best. "I have to go to the Gold Coast for work. Not sure how long. Hoping we can catch up when I get back."

Janet, still uncertain, didn't answer until the next day. "Let me know when you're back. See how we feel then."

Not the reply Bianca wanted, but at least it wasn't a rejection.