Notes: So I cried writing this one. Just saying.

Tags: character death, endgame compliant

When I am by myself

Looking at photos and videos

That we took, I've been keeping them for so long

And with my broken heart

I see all the pictures of myself

Living life with-out you just feels so wrong

Peter felt like he was haunted by Tony. He was everywhere he went. He was in the photos at home, he was in the thousands of articles and newspapers, he was in the murals painted across the city, he was in the spider suits, and he was in the too fast glimpses of the people bustling around going on with their lives.

But in the end, he wasn't actually there. He was gone and there was nothing that Peter could do.

I want you to be here with me

I know it sounds crazy

I miss your laugh and I miss everything

We used to be

And even if it is just for a while

Then God please give us the time

I can't deal with the reality

There's nothing left that I can do

Cause my heart is just missing you

Peter couldn't go to the tower for over a year. The first time he did it left him almost passed out from a panic attack. The only reason he hadn't was because Happy was there.

His missed Tony so much. He missed the lab days and movie nights. The quiet times where they would sit and play the piano, whispers in Italian passed between them.

He wanted it back.

I tried everything

Every way I could forget you

Just so I can live my life without you

Ohhhh

Nothing is the same

It's hard for me

To erase all of the memories I have with you

Peter didn't know what was wrong with him. He hadn't felt this way with Ben, or even his parents, so why did he feel this with Tony?

Why had the ache of loss not lessened? Why had the memories and thoughts only strengthened instead of weakened? He felt like it was yesterday when it had already been three years.

He'd tried so hard to distance himself from the memories and feelings that clung to him like a mist. He'd stopped going to the tower, only went to the lake house when forced, and never gone back to the compound after it was repaired.

He couldn't even be spiderman. He had a panic attack every time that he'd tried to put on the suit. Eventually, he never tried again. It was one of the hardest things he'd ever done, but he still did it.

He did so much to stop feeling.

It never worked.

I want you to be here with me

I know it sounds crazy

I miss your laugh and I miss everything

We used to be

And even if it is just for a while

Then God please give us the time

I can't deal with the reality

There's nothing left that I can do

Cause my heart is just missing you

Ohhohhh just missing you

Peter was different after the snap, after Tony. Everyone around him saw it. He got up every day. He spoke, he smiled, he laughed. He survived, he never lived.

None of them knew what to do. They didn't know what to say or do to help. They couldn't.

Peter would hear or see Tony in the smallest of things.

He'd pick up a screwdriver and there would be Tony's, reaching for it with a sparkle in his eye.

He'd mutter a joke and would hear an old familiar laugh.

He'd complete an assignment during college, or a new invention when he worked for SI after graduating. An echo of "Good job, kid." Would ring in his ears.

Wherever he was, a shadow of Tony followed.

He was there when Peter graduated, when he launched his medical "web bandage" that he'd discovered by using his webs to stop the bleeding of a stab wound.

He was there when Peter proposed to Harley (they'd met at Tony's funeral), when they adopted a little girl.

He was there when, slowly, those that Tony had left behind joined him. First was Pepper, then Rhodey, followed by May and Happy. Even Ned, MJ, and Harley left him. Peter was alone. He still had his daughter... but she had her own family now. She didn't need him.

It was when Tony finally disappeared that he knew. His time of missing the man was over.

In the end, he'd had a good life, but there was always a part of him that ached with loss. That part was peaceful now, for the first time.

Memories of the life he'd lived flashing before his eyes, Peter Parker-Keener took a final breath.

He closed his eyes, and welcomed the darkness with a smile.