Vayu

As Tilly climbed up the maintenance shaft the ship continued shaking and rolling from damage, continued attacks, and Una's hairpin turns, throwing Tilly's body backwards and forwards and side to side again and again. Twice she lost her hand and foot holds on the rails and slid down the access ladder, her heart pounding as she frantically grabbed for anything that could arrest her fall. Once she plunged down two decks before hooking an arm around the ladder's vertical support wrenching her previously dislocated shoulder. Hanging there like a spider swinging in the wind attached to safety by only a hair's width thread, Tilly commanded her body to relax and practiced the combat breathing technique Pike taught her while they were sheltering in the cave.

Mercifully, the ship's movement ceased, and she was able to scramble to the top of the shaft and manually open the doors to the back of the bridge. But the Vayu's pitch remained dangerously off axis.

Malie shouted, "Computer execute gamma-theta-omega12."

A minute later Una shouted, "The Klingon ship is retreating. But why? They had us dead to rights."

"They believe a warp core breach is imminent," Hiten explained. "A little smoke screen Malie put together last year. It will buy us ten minutes at the most. And they will not fall for it again. Our bag is almost out of tricks."

Tilly was unprepared for the sight she encountered. Heavy smoke filled the tiny area. The communications console was sparking arcs, its operator was unconscious, and on the floor; there was a deep bloody gash across his temple and his arm hung from his body at a seemingly impossible angle. Commander Una's face and hands were burned. Malie limped to her fallen crewman and felt for a pulse. "He's alive."

A fire raged in a far corner. The others could not leave their stations, so Tilly grabbed an extinguisher and put it out. All the walkways were littered with debris from the collapsed ceiling and smashed equipment. "Oh my God."

Pike turned towards her voice. But it wasn't the anger in his expression that jolted her. No, it was the disappointment. "You left your post," he said simply and quietly. The impact of his soft voice was louder than the alarms keening at every bridge station.

She picked her way through the maze of sharp metal to Pike's side and grasped his hand. Standing on tiptoes she whispered near his ear, "I couldn't … I mean … I wanted to be near you … be by your side if we don't make it … I had to tell you one more time … before I lost the chance … I'm in love with you … really … really, really in love with you … it's not just a silly adolescent crush … nor an infatuation for my superior … for an older guy … I want to make you happy. I want to be with you always. I think … I think you are the love of my life. I needed you to know that before the ship explodes."

Phasers from the Klingon ship shredded the Vayu again. Una called out, "Starboard thrusters are gone. Aft shields have failed."

Malie added, "Power and life support down to reserves throughout most of the ship."

Pike didn't have the luxury of even half a second for managing her feelings and softening what he must say next. This is going to hurt her deeply and I have no way to avoid it, Pike thought with sorrow. He looked to his right side and down hoping they were now face to face. "This is not the time or place Ensign."

Tilly visibly shrunk into herself from the blow.

Sensing that he broke her heart sliced Pike's. He then stated firmly, "And this is not the day you will die.

"Yes … sir." Tilly stammered. His commanding tone brought her back part of the way from her impulsiveness.

"We've lost all internal communications but the public address system. What is happening in engineering?"

Having a task shook off the rest of her hasty tendencies and her training kicked in. "Heavily damaged. Commander Reno has the team focused on maintaining shields, maneuverability and weapons for as long as possible."

"Very good. Take the communication station Ensign," Pike ordered.

Tilly picked her way through the debris and studied the panel to become familiar with its layout.

"Send a distress call on all channels as well as the low-band deep space classified frequencies. Include a warning about the Klingon D5 cruiser."

"Yes sir. Mayday broadcasting on all channels and frequencies," Tilly responded.

Pike felt his way to the tactical console behind him. "Hiten it is time. You take the helm."

"Very well Christopher." The Captain of the Vayu guided Pike's hand onto the controls for firing weapons. "Remember phasers right, photon torpedoes left."

Pike nodded at Una. The brief gesture said everything required, his willingness to take this path so they might survive and reach safety, his requests for her to take care of herself and his crew, his fondness for her, and his hopes for her future.

Una met his gaze squarely and resolutely. That was for the others as Pike could not see it. For her mentor and friend she said in a strong clear tone, "Yes sir. I always have and I will."

Hiten ordered quietly, "Ensign Tilly, sound general alert, abandon ship. Malie, go. Get your babies and go. Take Bonnie with you."

The Vayu's first officer hissed loudly and long as she strode to the helm. Then she uttered a string of broken sibilant words that were short and harsh sounding which Tilly assumed were the colorful descriptors, aka curses, in the Al-Tinninian's native language, that Saru repeatedly warned her not to use on Discovery's bridge.

Malie rose to her full impressive height and banged her tail hard on the floor. "I do not abandon my sship."

Placing his hands on her shoulders in the formal farewell of her people, Hiten responded in a firm tone, "Yes, you will. The ship is only metal not flesh and blood."

"We will find another way," Malie continued her objection.

Hiten shook his head. "There are no other ways. Take care of our crew and keep them together. Continue our work. You know where the resources you require are located. Now go."

Malie returned to the side of her injured crewmate. Una turned to her lover and smiled. Hiten placed his hand on her upper arm and said softly, "You were and will always be the love of my life, my Sundar." When Una started to respond, Hiten placed a finger in front of her lips. "Shush. Don't say anything. I want those to be the final words between us."

Una nodded and joined Malie who gingerly picked up the unconscious man and placed him across Una's shoulders in a fireman's carry position.

"Make sure it is clear to all the Vayu crew rescued Starfleet officers despite the peril to themselves and that I granted them clemency from prosecution on any outstanding arrest warrants," Pike issued his last order to his XO.

Una beckoned to Tilly. "Come Ensign, it's time," Enterprise's XO said kindly.

Tilly, who was monitoring for a response to their distress call rather than following the conversation closely, secured her station and started for the lift doors. Slowly she connected the dots. "No! Wait just one damn minute."

"Number One, you and Malie see to the evacuation. Tilly will join you presently." Pike turned in the direction of Tilly's voice. "A moment of your time please Ensign?"

Hiten busied himself with setting coordinates and calculating the necessary timings.

Tilly joined Pike. "You're not coming with us, are you?

"No."

"You're going to ram the Klingon cruiser with the Vayu and detonate the remaining torpedo?" She asked.

"Yes. It's your only chance to get away. Otherwise, once the Vayu is destroyed, they will pick off the escape pods one by one," Pike replied matter-of-factly.

Tilly nervously fidgeted with her uniform's zipper. "Then I'm staying too."

"That's brave of you but unnecessary. Only two are needed to execute the plan. Anything else is a waste of precious life," Pike responded in a soothing tone.

"Then I will stay in your place!" Tilly announced loudly with hands on her hips and sounding like a two-year-old about to unleash a tantrum.

"No. I've made my contributions; most of yours are ahead of you. This is what it means to be a leader. To be a Captain. Allow me," Pike gestured to Hiten, "allow us this dignity."

"But …" She sighed, accepting her commander would not change his mind. Her voice quieted. "I'm sorry for earlier. For leaving my post. For what I said."

Pike shook his head. "No regrets. There is little time remaining." He smiled at her, deeply with dimples, and lowered his voice. There was a hint of amusement in his tone. "Summon the will not to interrupt me. Please never ..."

She laughed nervously and started, "I can try …" Then quickly clamped her hand over her mouth, "Already failed at that didn't I?"

"And it is a moment I will treasure." Pike lowered his voice. "Never regret expressing your love for another. Too often we don't tell someone they are loved, yet it is a rare gift. Which we shroud in vague, timid feelers looking for confirmation in order to protect our own hearts rather stepping up to the plate and taking a chance, which we obfuscate with rules and mores. We push it aside for careers. And if I may offer one last piece of advice. Those of us who serve know life can be delicate and fleeting. No opportunity to love or be loved should be wasted. I don't know why you believe it is unlikely another will return your feelings, but I know you are wrong about that. Now go."

Tilly was the last to leave the Vayu. She stopped the pod just beyond the danger zone. As a final gift she was determined to be an eyewitness to Captain Pike's last sacrifice.

The Vayu slowly limped in a loop as if she were trying to escape her attacker. At the last possible second, Hiten engaged to maximum the remaining thrusters heading his ship towards the Klingon cruiser's engine room. The precise point and angle of impact required was almost infinitesimally small, and the timing of the weapon's release was tricky; neither permitted any room for error, the escape pods could not outrun a warp core breach. And the aggressor must be rendered incapable of pursuit and weapons fire.

Tilly reflexively shielded her eyes as the anticipated explosion bloomed, muttering sadly, "Goodbye my love."