Chapter 1: Back to Camp
camera shows a massive mansion and fades to a pool side view. a phone rings and is answered by a familiar voice*
"Yo,this is Chris McLean,what's up?" the pool side guy said. "Chris,its me,Steve Buscemi,your boss. Look,I'm gonna be honest,I know you've been retired for some time since Pahkitew Island but this is big. We're losing numbers and want YOU to host a new season of Total Drama." "You want me to host again?" Chris said. "I can host, but I need to know what's gonna happen". "Well,we have the list of some competitors written down...". The Host's eyes lit up as he heard the names for who he would be hosting. "You my friend have got yourself a deal!" "Look out Season 7,here comes Chris McLean!"
Camera cuts to a familiar looking Island*
"Yo TV viewers,I'm Chris McLean and this is the newest season of Total Drama since 2012,hosted by yours truly. If you haven't noticed,this camp is pretty similar to our location from the very first season,that being Camp Wawanakwa! That's because our production team and set managers have managed to refloat and rebuild parts of the original Camp Wawanakwa after our little...incident...during the Heroes and Villains finale of Total Drama All Stars. To start off this season, 14 contestants will be hauling their asses back to where it all began so they can take a whack Total Drama's largest ever prize of $10,000,000! Who will win?Who will fall?Find out when we return after the break,on TOTAL! DRAMA! NOT-STARS!
Camera cuts back to Dock of Shame*
"Welcome back to Total Drama Not-Stars,it's the moment you've all been waiting for, time to meet our 14 contestants!" Chris grinned.
a large horn sounded as a yacht pulled up to the dock*
"Bridgette! Welcome back to Camp Wawanakwa! Its great to have you back for another season!" Chris exclaimed. "Hi Chris,its,um,good to see you too" the Surfer Girl said as she made her to the end of the dock. Breaking up with Geoff last year had really hurt her and being back where it all started wasn't making things any better. Another yacht pulled up and duffel bag dropped to the ground. "Brick McArthur! Reporting for duty!" the Cadet saluted as he made his way to the end of the dock. "Great to have you back Brick,always a pleasure" Chris said.
The next yacht pulled up and a jacket sporting jock hand springed off the bow,before slamming his forehead into the dock. "Ow! Note to self: don't jump off a boat with a backpack on" Tyler muttered, "Tyler,Total Drama's favourite jock!Great to have you back buddy". "What? Oh,thanks man" the Jock greeted. "Well guess what,I'm back with a bang to win this time! And hopefully no chickens will mess things up" he explained. He picked up his bag and jogged to the end of the dock. The 4 yacht zoomed by as competitors 4 and 5 were ejected from the stern. "Katie and Sadie,welcome back to camp" the host groaned. "Oh my god,its like,so amazing to be back especially with my BFFFL" Katie shouted. "And I also think,its like,amazing to be back especially with MY BFFFL" Sadie exclaimed. the giggled and ran to the end of the dock.
Another yacht coasted by dock and an unfamiliar big boy jumped off. Tyler and Bridgette stared at giant with open mouths while Brick stood still and Katie and Sadie cowered with each other. "Rodney!Welcome to Camp Wawanakwa!" the host said to the farm boy. "Great to see you again Chris!Boy,I haven't seen you since you fired me out of that cannon!" the farm boy exclaimed. "Um,riiiiight" the host remembered "Just head down to the end of the dock with the other contestants" he told Rodney. The next yacht went by and someone no one had ever seen before stepped off. Taking a deep breath he walked over where he and Chris grudgingly shook hands. "Well this is a shock" the host said "I though everyone would've been happy to see one of your old friends" he pondered. "But we've never seen this guy before" Bridgette replied. "I'm with Bridgette,I don't remember this guy at all" Tyler added", "I've no recollection of such a man" Brick responded, "Katie do you remember this guy?" Sadie asked "No,you?" Katie asked her BFFFL. "Who's that guy?" Rodney asked Tyler. "No idea big guy,I'm just as confused as you" said Tyler. "For your information,this guy has a name. A season one oldie who also was with us for Total Drama Action,World Tour,Revenge of the Island and All Stars,fresh out of rehabilitation, the hospital and therapy, give it up for everyone's favourite now non-feral freakshow EZEKIEL!" The Host shouted. And Ezekiel looked completely different than he did in All Stars. His mullet had started growing back,he had a new toque hat that looked nothing like his old one,he was wearing John Travolta like heeled boots, a checkered jacket shirt and a white v-neck T-shirt. "Good to see you all again eh!" the Prairie Boy exclaimed. "Don't woo'ry,I'm perfectly fine,nothing to woo'ry aboo't". As he said that a bit of drool rolled down his chin and burned through the dock. "Except for the acid spit,that,the doctors couldn't fix eh." he made his way down to the end of the dock.
As the next yacht pulled up to the dock,everyone shuffled a few steps away from Ezekiel. "Hey guys,what's up?" a raspy voice asked, "Probably my excellent hair" a smooth voice replied. "Harold and Justin,welcome back to Camp Wawanakwa,the place just wasn't the same without your skills Harold,or you Justin's good looks" the host told the two boys. "Thanks" they replied as they headed down the dock. Yet another yacht emerged from over the horizon. Everyone gasped when they saw who was standing on the bow. "Aw man,not her agee'n" Ezekiel groaned, "Why do we need two jocks? That's supposed to be my stereotype"" Tyler murmured. A loud crash came from the other end of the dock. "Eva!" Chris exclaimed, "Welcome back to another Total Drama season". "Nice to see you Chris" she grunted as she walked down the end of the dock. "Who is that?" she scoffed. "That's that Ezekiel,stowaway animal boy from World Tour" Rodney replied. "Oh wonderful,Mr Sexist Pig himself has returned to piss me off" she muttered. Ezekiel (who presumably was offended) proceeded to spit on her shoes,causing them to melt as he as he smirked while Rodney and Harold tried to stiffle their laughter. "Hey! You just ruined my shoes you twerp!" Eva yelled,glaring at Ezekiel. "Ha,she doesn't have shoes anymore" Tyler laughed,
"With only 4 contestants left to arrive,I'm gonna wait on you guys to find out the then for this season of Total Drama" Chris said.
Soon shouting could be heard from the next yacht. "Welcome back to Total Drama!Boy is it good to be back for another season. Who is going to win?Find out on Total Dra-", "TOPHER SHUT UP!" Chris screamed. Everyone jumped in suprise,even Eva. "Sorry Chris,I'm just trying to do my best" Topher explained. "Look dude,if your gonna be here there are some ground rules" Chris spat at the Christ-Wannabe. "First,no trying to replace me. Two,no insulting my age and Three,no stealing!" Chris instructed. "That's a can do!" Topher replied as he walked to the end of the dock. "Hey all you normies,guess who's back" said a dry,sarcastic voice. "Our next contestant back is Noah" Chris said. "Hey,wish I could say its nice to be back but it really isn't" he replied. He headed down the dock.
"2 competitors left,who could they be?" Chris asked. "I dunno,someone famous?" Rodney asked. "Um,we're all famous in some way,shape or form" Noah told him. A loud thud came from the other side of the dock. "Our 13th competitor is the Revenge of the Island favourite,give it up for Silent B!" Chris exclaimed. B nodded,shook Chris's hand and walked down the dock. "Still silent and mysterious as always" the host told the camera. "Just one more competitor left before we can get things started". Suddenly, singing could be heard from the end of the dock as the final yacht pulled away. " I'm here!Back again!Competing to make new friends!" the girl sang. "Our final competitor is Ella!" the host announced. And now all 14 of our contestants are here,everyone make your way to the bonfire area,still in the same place where all will be revealed! " he told the cast.
camera cuts to the bonfire area*
"So your all here and now for the game plan" the host began to explain. "The 14 of you have been selected as Total Drama's biggest losers. Now that your here,you will compete in challenges and work together while voting people out for the chance to win $10,000,000!" he told everyone. "WHAT?!" screamed Eva, "Biggest Losers!" shouted Noah, "$10,000,000?!" Ezekiel yelled. "While I'm offended to be called a big loser,I wouldn't mind winning $10,000,000" Tyler said, "I just have 1 question: why exactly were we chosen? There had to be a reason other than never winning?". " Excellent question Tyler" the host told the jock. "Most of you were picked based on statistics throughout the seasons. For example,Ezekiel has been voted off first twice,which is why he's here and Bridgette was tricked into messing up which caused her elimination in World Tour which is why she's here. The rest of you had low competing times in terms of challenges and were voted off early or were fan favourites,like Tyler and Noah" the host explained. "Alright,fair enough" Ezekiel and Topher muttered. "And now for the teams!" Chris exclaimed. "For team 1 we have: Topher,Harold,Justin,Ezekiel, Bridgette,Noah and Ella. From today you guys will be known as the Mighty Beavers!" the host proceeded to throw and red flag with a jacked Beaver in the centre. "And now for the rest of you! Team 2 will consist of: Rodney,Katie,Sadie,Eva,Tyler,Silent B and Brick!" the host then threw Tyler then second flag he unrolled it to show the team. "From now on,you guys will be called the Howling Wolves!" the host told Team 2. Their flag was green with a wolf howling on the edge of the cliff. "Cool" said Brick. "Everyone drop your stuff off in the main cabin,guys on the right side,girls on the left" said Chris. "Is there gonna be a challenge today?" Justin asked. Chris shook his head, "Nope,there's not gonna be a challenge today guys,though your first challenge will take place tomorrow morning. Once you all unpack,you can hang out and chat" Chris explained. The campers dispersed once Chris finished talking and went into their seperate sides of the single cabin.
Guys Side: Ezekiel,Harold,Justin,Topher,Tyler,Rodney,Brick,Silent B and Noah.
"Soooooo,how've you guys been?" Tyler asked the guys. "You know I've been better eh" Ezekiel said. "I doo'nt know aboo't you guys but rehab is a lot woo'rse than you think eh" he told everyone while he unpacked his stuff. "Makes sense,its just loads of therapy,right?" Topher asked the prairie boy. "Yeah,pretty much" he replied. "I'm happy to be back" Harold said, "The only people I've seen from the show after it ended were Leshawna,Cody and Sierra" he continued. "And how was Little Ms Stalker Girl,if im permitted to ask?" Noah asked. "Creepy and annoying as usual" Harold replied. "I doo'nt know why Cody puts up with her eh" Ezekiel said, "I saw some pretty creepy stuff while hiding in the plane during season 3. Stuff that woo'ldn't be alloo'd on TV,eh".
Girls Side: Bridgette,Ella,Eva,Katie and Sadie.
" Hey,some of the tape from when Heather and Leshawna were fighting during season 1 is still here" Bridgette said as she looked at the floor. "So,like,how has everyone been since season 3 guys?" Katie asked while sitting on her bed. "Alright I suppose" Eva responded. "I won a talent show!Against my friends bro!" Ella sang. "Please don't tell me your not gonna sing for the whole show. I've got some bad memories related to singing during the 3rd season" Bridgette muttered. "Yeah,because,like,if she is I might need to use my earplugs" Sadie added.
Soon,everyone was finished unpacking and had met at different parts of the camp to catch up with each other.
*down by the dock of shame*
"I feel so insulted to be brought back as a loser" Noah sulked,tossing a rock into the water. "It could be worse" said Harold, "At least they didn't bring back people like Duncan and Courtney" he rasped. "Why does everyone give those 2 such a bad wrap?" Bridgette asked. "Why wouldn't you?" Topher asked, "I saw how those guys acted during their time competing. They were like me,only not as handsome,or as young,or as talented. Actually,scratch that,those guys are nothing like me" Topher grinned. "What's going on over here?" Rodney asked,walking over and sitting down. "The second Chris is telling us how amazing he is" said Noah,rolling his eyes. "Sounds interesting,I was on a team with this guy,at least,I think I was?" said Rodney,doubting himself. Topher face palmed, "How could you not remember me? I was like,one of the best contestants on Pahkitew Island" Topher explained. Rodney tapped his chin before shaking his head, "Nope, I don't really remember you buddy" he said. "Seems like we've got some real brains to deal with" Noah whispered,getting a laugh out of Bridgette and Harold.
*bonfire area*
"So you ate a rat?" Brick asked. "I did what i had to so I coo'ld survive,eh" Ezekiel stammered. "Surely that's not good for your health?" Eva asked,raising an eyebrow. "Considering how long he was,like,down there,I don't health was his biggest concern" said Katie. Ezekiel nodded, "Looking back,it wasn't the best decision,but it was a learning experience,eh" Ezekiel shrugged. "Oh my god,I could,like,never go that long without internet or snacks" said Sadie. "I've agree there" said Eva, "If I had to go 8 weeks without wifi or working out I'd intentially open the airlock" said Eva. "Maybe changing up the subject,Brick,what's the army like,eh?" Ezekiel asked,quickly chaning the topic. "I love the army!" Brick cheered, "Walking in formation,rising early,saluting to the great Canadian flag,it really gets a man's blood pumping!" Brick exclaimed. "Sometimes I think this show is like the army" said Eva. Ezekiel was confused by this, "But you've only competed in 2 days worth of challenges" he said. "Do you wanna get burned again?" Eva asked,getting into Ezekiel's face. Ezekiel's face turned annoyed, "Want me to ruin more of your shoo's,eh?" he yelled. Eva was taken a back by this, "Um,no,sorry" she muttered,sitting down again. "Wow,you guys all seem like an animated bunch" Brick chuckled. "Um,we're all made from,like,2D animation" said Sadie,causing Brick to slap his forehead.
*later that night*
Guys Side: Ezekiel,Brick,Harold,Justin,Silent B,Noah,Topher,Tyler and Rodney.
"Any of you hyped for the first challenge tomorrow?" Justin asked. "I've got mixed emotions,eh" said Ezekiel. "Afraid you'll be dropped again?" Tyler asked. Ezekiel nodded. "I wouldn't worry about it" said Harold, "Just don't cost us the win again and you'll be fine". "Don't say that Harold,no one is gonna cost any team a win tomorrow" said Rodney. "But only 1 team can win the first challenge" said Noah, "Obviously someone will screw things up". "As long as everyone sticks together, both platoons can find their way to victory" said Brick, "Now,I suggest we all get some shut-eye to be bright and ready for our first challenge in the morning". B seemed to agree,nodding and giving Brick a thumbs up. The guys all dropped into their beds before Tyler hit the lights.
Girls Side: Bridgette,Eva,Katie,Sadie and Ella.
"I say,where is day? I would to take part in a play" Ella sang,after dancing into the cabin. "I swear to god Ella,If you end up singing in your sleep or staying up to sing,you can sleep outside with the wilderness" Eva grunted. "Yeah,I really don't want to get a singing wake up call" said Bridgette. "But I sing to show my joy and in the hopes I'll get a boy" Ella sang. "I hope we can,like,get some form of sleep tonight" Sadie gronaed. "Me too,I'm so,like,tired" said Katie. After some more arguing about Ella's singing,everyone was eventually out of steam and collapsed into bed,leaving the lights on.
*the next morning*
At around 8am in the morning,Chris McLean's voice came over a loudspeaker: MORNING CAMPERS! TO START OFF YOUR DAY,HEAD OVER TO CHEF HATCHET IN THE CAMP SERVICES TENT FOR SOME GRUB!
*camera cuts to Chris McLean standing on the dock shame*
"After that hilarious wake up call,the contestants are now heading off to meet up with good old Chef! What will the first challenge be? And who will be going home first? Find out next time,on TOTAL! DRAMA! NOT-STARS!" Chris cheered.
*NEXT TIME ON TOTAL DRAMA NOT-STARS*
*clips are shown of the contestants in Ezekiel's mind,slowly walking into different tunnels*
"The campers will be journying deep into the darkness to hunt for gold! With no one having any lights,it's gonna be darker than dark down there! Tune in tomorrow to find out who's getting dropped!" said Chris.
*ROLL CREDITS INSIDE THE OUTHOUSE CONFESSIONAL*