Diana spent the final day of their fall break with Anne and Marilla in Carmody. She couldn't pull her thoughts away from the kiss earlier this morning. It was filled with a passion and emotion Diana had never experienced before. She thought she had found something she had been missing, but then Jerry left her. She hadn't even seen him for the rest of that morning.

"You know, I think this fabric would be lovely for your gown for the winter formal," Anne held a dark blue satin. "What do you think?" Diana was staring off into space. Anne suddenly snapped her fingers in front of Diana's face, capturing her attention. "What is with you, Diana?

"I-" Diana looked around the room of fabric. Marilla was chatting pleasantly with Jeanie. "I have to tell you something, Anne."

"Is there something wrong?"

"I'm not sure," Diana shook her head. "But, yesterday, before the storm, I had a discussion with my mother."

"Is that why you brought no trunks with you yesterday?" Anne asked. Diana looked down at the borrowed dress from Anne that she was wearing.

"Yes," Diana said in a small voice. "We got into it about my future."

"Oh, Diana," Anne whispered. "Please tell me you're not going away."

"No," Diana shook her head again. " I would never go without a strong fight."

"They would have to get through me first," Anne said, her chin lifted high. Diana gave her bosom friend a small smile.

"She isn't too please about..."It pained Diana to think about Fred. She had betrayed him. Well, not really. They weren't married, but Diana almost felt guilty. They hadn't courted long. Not even a single kiss had occurred beside the ones on her gloved hand. "Me and Fred."

"Why not?" Anne raised a brow. "He's not going to stay in Avonlea. He has dreams that would support you."

"Maybe not, but there's a good chance," Diana thought with a pinch at her heart. "His mother...is not well. And once she passes, Fred is the only true heir to get the farm."

"Oh," Anne breathed. "So you might end up here after all."

"Yes," Diana nodded.

"But, if you truly care about Fred, it won't matter," Anne smiled, trying to give a bright side.

"Yes, but,-" Diana stopped. "I don't know. Fred's sweet, and more than suitable but-"

"But what?" Anne searched Diana's face for an answer.

"Something's amiss," Diana said suddenly.

"Is it the hell he puts in his hair?" Anne suggested. "I thought it looked a little strange when I saw him last."

"It's not his hair," Diana gave a small chuckle. "Sometimes I feel like he doesn't exactly notice me."

"Of course he notices you," Anne lifted her brows. "Ruby wouldn't stop talking about how he was staring at you during your double date."

"But he doesn't really notice me," Diana admitted. "Like I'm there, but he doesn't really see me."

"Well, if you don't enjoy the courtship, then simply break it off," Anne shrugged. "I believe you can decide what's best for you and your future."

Diana opened her mouth, but then closed it. Anne didn't understand what she was feeling. There was a slight emptiness inside her. Although the gap was filled with so many different confusing emotions Diana didn't know how to express or explain in words. She didn't know if she would ever get them out in the right way.

As Gilbert walked down the drive to his home, Bash had run out the door. Gilbert stopped in his tracks. "Bash?! What's wrong?" Then Bash practically scooped Gilbert up into his arms and twirled in around in a tight hug. "Bash!" Gilbert laughed when his friend placed him on the ground. "What's the meaning of this?"

"The crop is safe, Blythe," Bash exclaimed. Gilbert felt relief flushed over him. He froze in his spot. Thye would be saved after all. "Blythe?" Bash called after a moment. "Are you alright?"

Gilbert looked up and grinned. "Better than ever."

Diana hadn't seen Jerry that night. Marilla had said something about how he went home for the night. Diana wondered why he would leave. She thought everything would change between them with that one kiss. Well, it was more than just one, but Diana at least thought he would have stayed around. She tried not to think about it much.

It was pleasant. No. It was more than pleasant. Diana never felt such a thrill in her short life. She hated to admit she wanted to feel that thrill again. But, tomorrow, she would go back to Charlottetown and become the debutant she was supposed to be. She would resume her courtship with Fred Wright and pretend it never happened.

Only if she was never to feel that thrill again, she would go back to her usual life of...emptiness.

At least she would make her own decisions moving forward.

That morning, Anne had packed up her things, and Diana had walked her way back to the Barry home. When she crossed the barn, she stopped, wondering if she should go in. Thinking about Matthew's presence made Diana move on. Jerry probably wasn't there today either. Diana walked slowly through the woods, trying her best to keep her mind far from the last time she had crossed the woods.

Diana strode up to the Barry home. Taking a deep breath, she knocked on the door confidently. Instead of seeing a maid open the door, it was her own mother. She looked worried for a moment, then her lips curved into a smile. "Oh thank heavens child. I thought you would be lost in the storm the other night."

"No," Diana said, taking a step inside. "I've been staying at the Cuthberts."

"Is that why you're wearing the same dress as before?" Mrs. Barry asked. "Oh, your hair, Diana. You must've run out of pins." Diana was wearing it in the style Jerry had done it. She redid it so it was cleaner, but her raven curls were still hanging down.

"Indeed," Diana was moving towards the stairs. Before she could make her escape, Diana was stopped by her mother.

"What are you doing? Aren't you going to apologize?" Mrs. Barry asked, still in the entryway. Diana froze. Her face grew hard as she turned to her mother.

"Apologize?" Diana raised her brows. "After you humiliated me?"

"You've insulted me," Mrs. Barry shook her head. "I am not trying to control you."

"Yes, you are," Diana said in a heavy voice. "When as a mother you should support me in my pursuits."

"But you don't know what you want," Mrs. Barry defended.

"I don't," Diana admitted, climbing a few stairs. "But I'm going to find out."

Diana had gathered her cases from her room and went back down the stairs to see her mother still standing there in small shock. "Goodbye, mother," Diana gave her a small nod. "Perhaps I shall see for the winter holiday."

"Perhaps?" Mrs. Barry raised a brow as Diana opened the door for herself.

"We shall see if you have opened your mind," Diana said before leaving the house.

She hated herself for being so rude to her mother, but Diana also felt proud for sticking up for her decisions. She wanted to go to Queens, she wanted to explore her interests, she wanted to fill her life with happiness. And she was the only one who could figure that out for herself. No one else.

Walking with the trunks to Green Gables was a little tricky, but Diana managed to at least get to the gate before dropping her bag. She reached to retrieve it, but another fell, then another. Then, they all fell out of her arms. Diana groaned before just opened ing the gate herself and leaving her luggage on the road. She needed a cup of tea and perhaps a hug from Anne.

Diana had retrieved both inside the house. Gilbert had already come back with a cartridge. Bash and Miss Stacey had both paid a visit to Green Gables, announcing their official courtship. Anne was thrilled, and Diana gave them an approving smile. She was very happy that both Bash and Miss Stacey could find love again, but Diana couldn't help but wonder what would it be like to lose someone you love dearly.

The pain from the thought alone quickly made Diana stop thinking about it entirely.

"Where's your luggage, Diana?" Anne asked before they were about to depart.

"At the end of the drive," Diana said with a slight shrug. I couldn't carry them all. Nothing was ruined, I just thought we could pick them up as we leave."

Anne raised a small brow at her bosom friend. It wasn't much like Diana to just let things go like that.

They went outside to see the two buggies loaded with the trunks. Anne was saying her goodbyes, but Diana wasn't watching them. Jerry was putting the last of Diana's bags into the back of one cart. Diana's heartbeat suddenly quickened at the sight of him. A part of her wanted to run over there and demand where he had been all weekend. Another part of her wished to run up to him and throw her arms around him.

But Diana was frozen on the spot. Once Jerry was done loading, he turned to the others that were still on the porch. When he spotted Diana, his lips curved into a small smile. Diana tried to do the same, but then Anne linked arms with her and lead her to Matthew's cart. Diana found her eyes staying on Jerry as they walked closer.

"We'll be riding with Matthew, and Gilbert with Bash." Anne gave Jerry a quick hug. "I hope your studies continue to go well. Miss Stacey says your reading is beyond exceptional now. "

"I did have a great teacher," Jerry mused as he helped Anne up into the cart. His eyes then trailed to where Diana was, a few feet away. She walked closer to him, taking slow steps. They faced each other, just gazing into the other's eyes. Before Diana could say anything, Anne gasped.

"Oh, Diana," Anne said from the cart. "You didn't leave your necklace here, did you?"

"No," Diana said, lifting the necklace from its place around her neck. Anne gave a sigh of relief, then began to talk to Matthew. Diana turned back to Jerry. "I suppose I should get going."

"Yes," Jerry said with a sad tone. "My family had sent for me the other day, otherwise we would have had more time together."

"I understand," Diana said in a light voice. Jerry suddenly offered his hand to her, and she hesitantly took it. Their bare hands clasped tightly together as she stepped up and to her seat next to Anne. She wanted to say something to him, anything that would make her understand what happened the other morning, but it was too late.

As Matthew charged the horse forward, Diana's hand slowly shifted away from Jerry's. "Au revoir," Diana said quickly, just before the warmth of his hand slipped from hers.

"Au revoir, Diana," Jerry said just before she got out of earshot. They watched each other with longing eyes as the cartridge drove from Green Gables.

"So, when will I see you next?" Anne asked hopefully.

"A month, maybe a little more. I'll come to the ball, though. I think my winter break starts just before then. " Gilbert stretched before putting his arm on the back of their seat on the train. "I fear my winter finals will take too much time for me to come to visit. This doctor stuff was a little more than I expected."

"But it'll be worth it," Anne leaned closer to him.

"It better be, if I'm supposed to provide for m'lady," Gilbert said with a smile.

"Don't worry," Anne said with a touch of smugness. "If you fail out of Toronto I'll provide for you with my teaching."

"We'll have to practically live in the schoolhouse," Gilbert said with a chuckle. "But at least we'd be together."

"Promise me you'll write," Anne prodded.

"Of course I will, as long as you respond," Gilbert said playfully.

"You don't have to worry about me," Anne said, now leaning against his ribs. Gilbert let his arm drop from the seat to around her shoulders. "I just hope you won't forget about me in Toronto."

"Forget about the one I love most?" Gilbert asked. Anne looked up into his brown eyes. He smiled before kissing her forehead lightly. "Never." Anne then leaned against his chest, allowing his chin to rest atop her head.

As Anne and Gilbert were saying their goodbyes on the train, Diana stepped off the train to see not just Moody and Ruby, but Fred too. At the sight of him, Diana dropped a bag. The memory of the kiss flashed in her mind and a wave of guilt and anxiety washed over her. How could she have kissed Jerry like that? Fred was here waiting for her here, and she just ran off and kissed someone else.

"Hello, Diana," Fred greeted with a small kiss on her gloved hand. She swallowed as she smiled.

"Miss me?"

"Oh, yes," Fred gave her a wink. She bit her lip uncomfortably, but luckily Anne and Gilbert stepped off the train.

"Gilbert!" Moody called. "Haven't seen you for a spell."

"How's it up in Toronto?" Fred asked casually.

"I don't know," Gilbert shrugged. "I've been spending my weekend with my Anne."

"Oh," Ruby whispered to Diana. "How romantic was that?"

"Very," Diana amused Ruby easily.

"I'll be heading up there now," Gilbert gave a small smile.

"You can't even stay for tea or even a drink?" Fred suggested.

"No, I'm afraid my train leaves in less than a half-hour," Gilbert rejected the invite. "Thank you for the thought."

"I'm sure he's got catch a boat," Ruby put together. "Moody, you always said you wanted to get a boat."

"To ride one," Moddy corrected. "I'm afraid I'd be seasick." Everyone gave him a small grimace. Ruby patted his arm.

"Well," Anne faced Gilbert. "This is it."

"Until the Winter Ball," Gilbert reminded. Anne grinned. Before anyone could say anything, Gilbert took Anne's face in his hands and kissed her right there on the train's platform. It was a passionate kiss, and Diana had to admit she was used to seeing the two, but Ruby's mouth dropped.

"I love you," Anne said, giving him one last kiss.

Holding her firmly by the waist, Gilbert smiled. "I love you too." He gave a small wave to everyone, which they hesitantly waved back. Gilbert then climbed back onto the train.

Ruby suddenly elbowed Moody. "You've never kissed me like that."

"You've never asked," Moody scratched the back of his neck nervously. He was about to lean down to Ruby, but she pushed him back lightly.

"Not here in front of everyone," Ruby flushed. "That's embarrassing. No offense Anne."

Anne's cheeks turned a small shade of pink.

"Well, I suppose, we should move our stuff home," Diana suggested. So the five did. Gilbert had waved when the train passed them by. Diana had stayed close to Anne, gabbing about school and recalling their trip for their current company.

Once they got to the boarding house, Fred had grabbed Diana's wrist. They stood on the porch while everyone else went inside. "Did you see my parents when you went home?" Fred asked suddenly.

"No," Diana said in a cautious voice. "I heard about your mother."

Fred sighed, "I was hoping you wouldn't."

"Why do you refuse to go visit her?" Diana asked.

"Because I don't want to get pulled in," Fred shook his head. " They'll try to get me to stay and I-"

"Fred," Diana said in a calm but strong voice. "I think you should put the family drama aside and go see your mother. She might not live very long."

He looked at her in shock. Diana herself was shocked. She didn't expect to command him that way. But it was what she thought he needed to hear. She wouldn't just stand aside and make him regret everything. She thought about when she saw Jerry this morning. He said he left because his family had called on him. He was devoted, even though he had obligations at the farm.

"You don't know anything about my family," Fred shook his head.

"I know that you're going to regret your choice," Diana shot back, trying not to sound as defensive as the words seemed. "This weekend, I stood up to my mother once again because if I didn't, I would've regretted it."

"Maybe you should listen to her Diana," Fred shook his head. "You say you don't know what you want. Why be conflicted when your life could be so easy. If you're married you are set up for life."

"No, I'm not," Diana defended. "I have chosen to make my own choices for my life. If I decide to marry I decide to marry. If I decide to have I job I decide to have a job."

"You should just let me take care of you, Diana," Fred snapped.

"Maybe I don't want you to take care of me, Fred," Diana snapped back. There was a long pause. She really didn't know what had come out of her mouth. Perhaps it was what she was thinking all along.

"You should've gone to finishing school, Diana," Fred said with a long breath. "Because you're still a child. If you want to make your own decisions, you should pin up your hair, stop giggling with your friends, and commit yourself to be a proper woman."

Diana opened her mouth, but nothing came out of it. He called her a child when he was the one being irresponsible. "Goodbye Fred," Diana said suddenly. He looked shocked that she dared to tell him to go. "You heard me. Goodbye."

He left, and Diana didn't even bother to cry. She went inside and pretended everything was alright until that night. She stared at herself in the mirror. Scooping up her hair, she pretended that it was pinned up. Angered by even tempting herself, Diana let her hair go and even took out the braids Jerry had woven. She then messed up her hair and looked back into the mirror with triumph.

Going to bed in a rush of frustration and sadness, Diana didn't even notice she had knocked over a bag of hers. Well, she did notice, but she simply didn't care. But what she really didn't notice was to check under her bed, where the porcelain poodle Jerry had stowed into her bag now lie unnoticed.