For weeks, Diana had begun the process of finding herself. Every day, she had focused on something new. Diana had spent many hours alone, just recalling memories. She did just as Aunt Josphine had said. She would think about certain times when she was happy and expand on them. Soon enough, Diana was ready to come back and make new happy memories.

Diana had spent lots of time with Anne, reminding herself of the childhood fun she had once partaken in. She, Anne, and Ruby had read some old stories of theirs from the days of the story club. Diana recalled the fact that she always loved stories of romance and adventure rather than simple tales that her mother had once read to her.

The girls had tea many times together, and Diana remembered what she likes most about certain things and people. With every day that passed, Diana felt something new come alive inside her. The person she thought she was had slowly moved out of her and was replaced by someone new. Not a simple girl of raven hair who sat politely and waited for life to find her, but instead a strong woman who knew what was best for her in her own interests.

Diana had also found a new passion for music. She took Anne and Cole to a concert a few nights ago, and Diana felt the spark rise within her. She paid attention to the arrangement and deciphered the means of emotions. Diana found her own emotions so easy to decipher now that she had come back to the piano. She took Jo's word and let herself into the house to use the piano whenever she needed it.

Many afternoons, Diana would simply stare down at the piano, looking at the keys. There were unless possibilities of tunes Diana could simply play out. It was remarkable. The keys were always there, and Diana knew that when her emotions needed to be let out, they would still be there for her.

Now that it was early December, everyone had been frittering about the winter ball in about a week. It was to mark the end of the first semester. Diana had been studying her books and passing her classes, but she had already signed up for music classes for the spring. But for now, Diana had to worry about dresses, hairpins, and dance partners for the ball. Or that what everyone told her to worry about.

Diana had seen Fred a few times on campus, but not often. She hadn't seen Jerry at all, besides the occasional dream. Diana wondered when she would finally take up the courage to speak to him. She was already on her way to Avonlea with Anne for the day. Anne was going to pick up a gown Marilla had made her, and Diana supposed that she ought to go home.

...

Song Suggestion: My Daughter Anne (Ari Posner & Amin Bhatia)

...

One of the biggest problems of her self-discovery was thinking about her childhood. Where she was trained not to feel or to speak or to do anything but be a proper cookie cutter lady of society. Of course, Diana couldn't truly blame her mother. It was the only thing Eliza knew how to raise young women, she wasn't aware of the evolving world around her.

Although Diana had to admit there were sometimes she truly felt happy with her family. It was important to go back to her home and at least talked to her mother. Diana hoped that things would be civilized for this visit. Matthew had dropped her off after picking the girls up from the station. Diana walked up the lane with nerves conjuring in her stomach.

She didn't even have to knock. As soon as Diana was up onto the porch the door swung open. Mrs. Barry came rushing out and wrapped her arms around Diana so suddenly. Diana was stiff for a moment, then let herself return her mother's embrace. She could hear her mother's sniffles muffle on her dress. "Oh, thank goodness you're alright," Mrs. Barry held her tight.

"Of course I'm alright," Diana said with questioning brows. "Why wouldn't I be?"

"Well," Mrs. Barry wiped her eyes. "I thought that you would've been in a time of distress since Mrs. Wright."

"What's wrong with Mrs. Wright?" Diana asked with wide eyes. Her mother looked at her with questioning eyes.

"Hasn't Fred told you?"

"Told me what?" Diana had an idea. "Mother, what?"

"She's died a few days back."

"What?" Diana put a hand to her heart. Poor Fred. He must've taken the news hard. "Was Fred here?"

"He's been here for quite some time," Eliza corrected. "Didn't you know, Diana? I thought if anyone would tell you it would be him."

"Actually," Diana admitted, "I haven't spoken to him for almost a month."

"Oh," Eliza sympathized, "I'm sorry to hear about that."

Diana knew she wasn't, but she didn't comment. Instead, Diana stated the simple truth, "He wasn't for me."

"That's alright," Eliza said as they walked into the house. "I'm sure there are many gentlemen in Charlottetown suitable." Diana was surprised by her mother's words. She wasn't going to suggest France?

"What about France?"

"I've...changed my mind," Eliza said as she sat down in the parlor. She motioned for Diana to have a seat.

"How-" Diana took a breath. She was shocked at the words. "Why?"

"Because I'm sorry." Eliza cleared her throat. "I shouldn't keep forcing you to do what I think is right. You're a grown woman now and can make your own decisions. I can't get in the way of you and your dreams. I just need to accept that...times are changing and you're changing."

Diana couldn't help but give her mom a smile. She wasn't really changing. She was just finding her true self, and to everyone, that seemed to be a change. "Thank you, mother. Though I must ask. Why the change of heart?"

"Aunt Josephine paid a visit last week."

Diana couldn't decide if this was good news or bad news.

"And?" Diana prompted.

"I think that it is a better idea to keep you closer to home," her mother gave her a small smile. "After all, I know how much you love it here."

"I do," Diana nodded. She wondered how much Aunt Jo had shared with her mother. Diana would hate for her mother to see her as some diseased mind when in reality she was just casting the disease away. "What did she tell you?"

"That you've been rediscovering music with the piano. Writing your own pieces based on your emotions. I think that's wonderful. You've always been good at the piano. Are considering it for a...career?"

Career? Diana hadn't given it much thought. She loved music, especially now. But to be a professional and tour around the country? Would Diana really want that for herself? Would she never give herself any roots? Diana feared that she would go back into the mindlessness of constant distraction.

"I'm not sure," Diana admitted. "I'm just focusing on the present rather than my future."

Diana had stayed at her home last night for the first time since she had left for Queens. It was strange not being at the Cuthberts. Diana was sure she would have to run to them after she was done with her mother. But instead, Aunt Josephine had used that strange magic of hers and changed her mother's mind. Diana thought it was a feat that couldn't be done. But it had.

When Diana packed up her small bag, her father drove her over to the Cuthberts. On the way over, Diana could see the Wright farm just at the top of the hill. She thought about Fred. He was there, showing up for his family, just like her mother said. Although Fred had not decided on what he would do with the new land to his name, Diana had an inkling he would decide to keep it.

"But, if you truly care about Fred, it won't matter."

Anne's words echoed in Diana's mind. She didn't really understand what Anne meant. If Fred lived here, she wouldn't be with him. Their dreams wouldn't be the same, and Diana would move on. She already had moved on. Her mind went to Jerry. He would live here forever. She knew that. He would have his family, farm, and happiness with someone who was willing to stay. Diana wanted roots, but she didn't wish to stay in Avonlea.

Yes, she loved it here. But if Diana were to find her happiness, she couldn't settle.

Once they reached the Cuthbert farm, Diana said a small goodbye to her father and had gone her way up the drive. She placed her luggage onto the readied buggy and knocked on the house's door firmly with a was excited to tell Anne the news about her mother's apology and the sorrow of Fred's mother. Or perhaps Marilla had already told Anne.

When the door finally opened, Diana looked up and let a small gasp escape her lips. Jerry was standing there with a surprised expression on his face. "Diana," he managed to say after a moment.

"Jerry," Diana said, taking in a deep breath. In her mind, it had been so simple. She would easily let both boys go and move on with her life. But now she could feel her heart beating loudly against her chest. She thought her heart would get tired or at least used to the sight of Jerry, but it reacted the same every time, causing redness to flood her cheeks.

"Hey," Jerry said, not taking his eyes off her.

"Hey," Diana repeated, trying to ignore the memories that were flashing in her mind. She had scolded him away when in reality she was crying for help. Diana was a different person then, and he should know that. "About that night-"

"Diana!" Anne called before she could explain. She was holding up a dress made from green velvet. It was extraordinary. Jerry awkwardly backed away from Diana as she stepped into the home. "Isn't this dress Marilla made just exquisite?"

"It's..." Diana trailed off as she glanced around. Jerry had gone out the door. "Exquisite, Anne."

"And look what Aunt Jo got for Jerry," Anne took Diana's hand and rushed up the stairs. They went into Jerry's room to see a fancy suit laying on his bed. Anne squealed at the sight. "She's even gotten Jerry a ticket to come to the ball."

Diana froze. Was that the true reason Aunt Jo had come for a visit? Was that why she arranged for Jerry to get a formal education? Was that why she had sent that letter to Jerry? Was Jo truly trying to play matchmaker? Was this all a scheme to get Diana back with him?

"Excuse me," Diana said dismissively as she practically ran out of the house. Anne didn't chase after her, only called once, but Diana kept going. She hugged her coat around her tightly as she stepped out into eh chilling December air. She ran all the way to the barn. Matthew was preparing the buggy, so she wasn't worried about an audience.

"Were you in on it?" Diana asked as soon as she stepped in. Jerry's head poked up from the stables. "On this scheme with Aunt Josephine?"

"Scheme?" Jerry questioned, stepping into her line of view. She tried not to lose herself. She felt slight anger rise in her. Aunt Josephine was no better than her mother.

"The education, the book, the letter, the reason you came to visit so many times this fall," Diana told him. "Were you working with her to get me back?"

"Working to get you back?" Jerry asked, utterly confused. "I swear this was no scheme of mine."

"Then why do you have a ticket and a suit for the ball?" Diana questioned. "Clearly you aren't going for Anne."

Jerry was silent for a moment. "I was hoping to surprise you."

"Surprise me?" Diana whispered.

"I was going to show you that I am suitable for you," Jerry admitted. "Show you that I'm finally good enough for you. I want to be good enough for you."

It was then that Diana realized that Jerry was losing himself as she had earlier in the fall. "Jerry," Diana shook her head. "This isn't what you want. You wouldn't be yourself. I know what it's like to get caught up in a dream. It's not what you want for your life."

"I want you," Jerry snapped. Diana stayed quiet. Jerry came down from his raging manner. "I want to be with you. I know you, better than you think."

"Jerry, you only know my favorite color," Diana defended.

...

Song Suggestion: Dearest Diana (Ari Posner & Amin Bhatia)

...

"No," Jerry shook his head. "I understand your motives, your movements, your talents. I've been watching you since I've started working here. I've seen a pretty girl turn into a beautiful woman. You said that you were empty inside, but when I saw you, I saw a happy Diana who cherished life, even when it was hard. I know you, Diana, and... I love you."

"Jerry I-" Diana didn't know what to say to something like that. Her heart continued to race as she collected herself. She had never been told those words before by a man. "I'm just not right for you. Our lives are different."

"Are they?" Jerry asked. "You'll be out of school soon enough. I'm getting my education. I'm willing to change for you, Diana, if you'll let me." Diana bit her lip. Why was this something worth fighting for? Diana's feelings suddenly became confused again, making her sink back into the hole she had just gotten out of.

"I-" Diana blinked back tears of frustration. "I don't know."

Jerry clenched his jaw. "Then it's decided. I won't chase after something I'll never catch." He turned away from her. "Goodbye, Diana."

"Wh-" Diana was about to chase after him, but then she heard Anne's voice just outside the barn. She looked back to see they were ready to go to the train station. She turned back to where Jerry was standing, to see he was gone.

"Jerry?"

No answer.

Diana let out a long breath as she let a single tear fall. She then wiped it away with her sleeve before going back to the buggy, the confusion and sorrow sweeping over her newly renewed self.