The Seasons

by shianen

Duncan always stuck by her side. There were few things in life Courtney believed she didn't have figured out. Duncan was always at the top of her list. There were so many better people he could spend his time with, so many different ways to better spend his time, yet he chose her over and over again. (A year of Duncney)

It was one of those summer evenings. The one where someone could feel the humidity stick between toes, the one where someone hear the fire hydrants cooling the last of the young children on the block. The summer was no stranger to a soul. It was inevitable, uncaring, and awakening.

Summer never felt shame. It would produce horrendous, yet short-lived thunderstorms when it felt like it. It would swell with heat and suffocate the lungs. There was something similar between winter and summer: they were unforgiving.

The heat was swallowing this young brunette whole, as she sat on her front doorstep, hunched over and staring into the street. Onyx eyes glancing back and forth and back and forth and one more time. Her glistening caramel skin felt under attack by the season, and her clothes desperately stuck to her body, wishing for an out. She quickly looked to the sky. It was blushing, a cascade of pinks and oranges beginning to take space, clustering together.

It should cool down soon she thought. There was an empty water bottle to her left, the cement underneath her not helping the hypothesis.

Her house was cooler. She could go inside her house.

That thought was quickly shut down. Immediately, she made a face. The front of her thick eyebrows beginning to meet her almond-shaped eyes. Her pink lips twisting downward, nose sticking up. In an act of rebellion, she shook her head and sighed. There was no way she was going back inside.

Her pink athletic tank top was a racerback, connecting the straps on her back. She really liked it, despite pink being such a feminine shade. She preferred neutrals; colors that didn't make her stand out unless she wanted to do so. Greys, browns, olives, those colors suited her more.

Noticing her hunch, she straightened her back, rolling her shoulders back so she could sit more properly. Her parents taught her better than that. Though, there were so many things they could have taught her. Short brown hair crisply cut stuck to her neck, and she really wished more than anything she brought a scrunchie with her.

To the right of their house was an old black oak tree. She only knew it was old because her father mentioned once that his grandfather remembered it when he was a boy. That was at least a hundred and some years ago, and still it stands strong and tall.

Theoretically, she could sit underneath of it. It would be a short relief from one of the hottest days of the year. But her shorts were white, and she didn't want to get them dirty. She glanced around again.

Some kids down the block were screaming, and she could only assume the hydrate finally ran out of water. It was getting late anyways; their parents should be preparing them for bed and for a new day of summer camp. The brunette would've checked the time if she could, but she left her phone inside the house.

In a few weeks, she would be leaving for school again. Her third year of undergraduate studies, and arguably the most important one. She already wasted most of the summer staying inside and studying for the LSATs to be a corporate lawyer. As time continued on and on though, she didn't find herself enjoying it as much as she thought she would. It was boring, stressful. Her parents set up her entire life for this upcoming year.

She had taken political science classes and business classes and none of it appealed. Sure she was good at it, but she's good at a lot of things.

For a criminology class she took this past semester, she actually felt some joy in it. There was some real thinking, a topic she wasn't completely familiar with and she learned so much. Maybe she could still be a lawyer, but not a corporate one? The research aspect of the class was really appealing. Maybe she could go into academia?

There were so many thoughts swelling in her head she didn't even notice the motorcycle being parked in front of her house. The anxiety of the unknown made her foot tap and she was looking at her hands, counting off her options and how many years each of them would take.

"Yo, Courtney." Quickly filled the space between herself and the speaker, and when she looked up he was leaning on her wooden fence, arms crossed and a pierced eyebrow raised.

The young adult blinked, and at the realization of who was on her property made her stand up and glance at her window and back at him. "Duncan," she greeted, a flavor of confusion in her tone, "what are you doing here?"

His skin was tanned from the summer, white wife beater sticking to his long torso. With one hand in his jeans, the other pushed through short black hair, flattening what was sticking up from his motorcycle helmet. The motorcycle sat up behind him on the street, helmet sitting on top of the seat.

Blue eyes looked at her up-and-down, before making contact with her own onyx eyes. "You didn't text me back and it's been like a hour. I needed to make sure you weren't studying yourself to death."

"You're so needy." Courtney immediately responded, crossing her arms. She smiled at him for less than a second. "Seriously though, what's up?"

Duncan smirked and stopped leaning on the fence. "I'm bored."

This statement actually made her roll her eyes, in which he chuckled in response and walked up the pathway leading to the other young adult. As he walked up she asked, "You don't have anything else to do? No criminal activities? All you have to do is come see me?"

He stopped a couple feet away from her. "Nah, I felt like being a law-abiding citizen today. And why not come see my favorite Princess and annoy her all evening."

"You annoy me like everyday." The brunette stated, despite some warmth rising from her neck to her cheeks to her ears.

Duncan and Courtney met in high school. Specifically, their freshman year history class. Back when Courtney's hair was shorter and Duncan was still growing into his own.

Courtney always sat in the front row taking notes. And Duncan was forced to sit next to her after a few weeks since he was always sleeping in the back. Or he wouldn't show up at all, deciding to use that time to take a cigarette break and sit at the bleachers.

It was a disaster of interactions before they were able to come to some middle-ground. She would nag him consistently, complain about him skipping class and smoking and everything else that didn't meet her standards. On the other hand, Duncan purposely started fights for amusement and disregard anything she said, annoyed at her strict nature. Ultimately, she didn't meet his standards either.

Then, for whatever reason their classmates could never figure out, something changed. The summer between their sophomore and junior year was like any normal summer they thought. Courtney was in-and-out of town because of the various camps her parents sent her off to, and Duncan was causing chaos for his police officer parents and their peers. But, when the new school year started, the delinquent was standing outside the soon-to-be class president's locker. In his hand was a lunch box.

"Ma made this for you." He nonchalantly stated, passing her the bag full of homemade Italian leftovers.

She politely thanked him as they walked to drop Duncan off at his first class (because Courtney needed to make sure he actually went).

One of the biggest head-turners of the year was when teachers started noticing Duncan's changed behavior. He wasn't sleeping in class anymore and was showing up for the most part. There were rumors swirling about them that carried into senior year and beyond, people questioning their status and unable to differentiate if they were just friends or something more.

Whenever someone asked, they both claimed they were friend-ish and left it at that. Details about how frequently they communicated outside of school were omitted, and for the most part people knew they weren't going to get a lot of information out of any of them unless Duncan bragged about having sex with her. Courtney was not one to gossip about anything at all, especially not her personal life. And people were too afraid to ask Duncan any personal information in fear of physical or emotional retaliation.

This led to another strange thing: Duncan was still hooking up with other girls in the school. As much as he talked to and followed Courtney, he was still seeing other girls and getting their hopes up that yes, they could change him to be a better man. And if people told Courtney about the things Duncan was doing she would always shrug her shoulders and say he's a person who can make their own uneducated decisions.

As different as Courtney and Duncan looked, they were incredibly similar in their thoughts and actions. They were hard to read, confident, and anyone in their friend groups could easily figure that out. Duncan's best friend in high school was dating Courtney's childhood best friend, so they tended to find themselves in similar social situations throughout high school as well. Those two people probably had the most insight on Duncan and Courtney out of everyone in the world, those two included.

"So why are you just sitting around on your front porch with no phone? Just observing life?" He asked, giving her another look. "I like your outfit, by the way. It's like, kind of slutty in a gym rat way. And pink? Nice."

She wiped some sweat from her forehead. "Christ Duncan, I wear this like most days of the week. It's just a top and shorts." Courtney then ran her hand through her hair, ignoring the hair still sticking to her neck. "And am I not allowed to enjoy the outdoors every once and awhile?"

He raised another eyebrow at her, easily catching on that something was off. "You're not a C.I.T anymore, remember? Your form of being in the outdoors is sitting inside a cabin, reading a book and complaining about mosquitos."

"It was one time, Duncan. I'm never going camping with you ever again." Courtney whined, throwing her hands out.

The statement made him laugh out loud, echoing that of the children she heard earlier by the fire hydrant.

When he laughed she couldn't help but smile too. At least when it was genuine, it was infectious too. It was easy to tell, his natural laugh was much more hearty and a bit deeper than the chuckle he would give Courtney when she actually made a decent comeback to his remarks.

He smiled at her, before having a more neutral look on his face.

Courtney sucked her teeth before putting her hands on her hips. "Leave it be, Duncan."

"Why?" He asked, and it felt like he was leaning forward, or at least getting closer to her.

"Because I asked politely. So don't ask again unless you want me to get nasty." She gave him a sharp look.

This was frequent. One of them would begin testing the waters, rocking the boat just enough to witness the movement underneath.

"Hmm, nasty you say?" He asked, his voice deepening with each word.

The brunette dropped her shoulders. "I can't say anything around you."

She knew she was off the hook for the time being. He would probably try and bring it up later, if they continued hanging out like he planned.

A bit of pressure was released from her body, and she noticed he took a step back.

He wasn't much taller than her, maybe a few inches. Back when he had the most horrendous mohawk in the entirety of Canada, he had some more height. But, he shaved it off at some point during Courtney's first year at college and coming home to a green-less Duncan was strange but encouraging. When they went to prom senior year, he dyed it silver to match Courtney's prom dress. Her parents were less than impressed; as matter of fact, the only prom picture they have from that year in the house are of Courtney alone.

"Anyways, what are your plans for the rest of the night?" Duncan questioned, stuffing his hands in his pockets.

Courtney glanced above her before looking back at the young adult. "I'm not sure, I didn't really have any plans set for today, just next week."

Duncan clapped. "Great! Then let's hangout. Go grab your phone."

"Duncan, I'm not riding your motorcycle. You're a psycho when you drive that thing."

"Aw, you say that every time and end up enjoying yourself after." He argued, a smirk on his face because he knew he was right.

She rolled her eyes. "Whatever. I'm not getting on it."

"So you'd rather sit out here by yourself?"

Courtney gave it a quick thought. "You wouldn't hang out here with me? You're so cruel."

There was a fake-sad tone in her voice, mocking Duncan's fear of her parents. It was pretty warranted, though. He has continuously met them over the years and still wasn't completely comfortable having a conversation with her dad about hockey.

"No offense Court, but the only activities you have in your house are puzzles and wine-tasting. Not my speed." He pleaded again. "C'mon, I won't even charge you for the gas I use driving us around."

That made her smile pitifully at him. "Wow Duncan, and here I thought you were a gentleman."

He walked up and threw an arm over her shoulder. "Never that babe. I'm as grimy and rude as they get."

They let his arm stay wrapped around her neck for another few moments before she threw it off. "Yeah, I realized that about six years ago. I'm just wishfully dreaming at this point."

Duncan snorted. "Those are some big dreams you have there. Now go and get your shit before I leave you."

She sighed and turned around, walking to her front door. "You really are a Neanderthal after all." It was a joke and they both knew it. So she picked up her water bottle and walked back inside.

There weren't any lights on in her house yet, despite the slow descent of the sun. It left an orange hue in her beautifully decorated living room, the brown sofas and glass coffee table complementing well to the weather outside.

The house was quiet. The young adult sighed knowing if her parents were paying attention they could probably easily hear the conversation she was having with Duncan.

Oh Duncan, Duncan, Duncan.

She tried not to think about any of the people she was in close proximity with and shuffled up the stairs, walking down the hallway to the last room on the right: her bedroom.

When she opened it, it was exactly how she left it earlier this afternoon. Different higher education books were scattered on her floor; papers full of different list of schools and law schools and colleges spread out on the carpeted mess.

In short, her room was plain. Courtney knew it more than anyone else. There was no personality in this room. Nothing was dedicated to her friends, family, or accomplishments. Her beige walls were barren of pictures. Instead, a few shelves with trophies and medals hung off of it. A wood desk with previously read textbooks and her laptop settled on top of it. Next to her desk, and in the middle of this somewhat large room, was her queen-sized bed. The pillows were a silver satin and her blanket was white - some of the only color that could be found in the entire room. Parallel to her bed was her walk-in closest, full of her clothes, shoes, and accessories. It was slightly open, so Courtney could barely see the business casual clothing hanging in there.

Walking around the mess she created - one not created frequently - she led herself to her bed, where her phone was sitting. Courtney threw her water bottle on the bed and tapped her phone on, looking at the string of text messages she received from Duncan.

princess
princessssss
lets do something

dude stop ignoring me
this is why you lost at pong last weekend
k im driving over rn

omw
see you soon ;)

She couldn't help but smile at the childish texts Duncan sent to her. Sometimes, late at night when she pretended to be asleep, she would scroll through their text conversations and find her favorite ones, taking screenshots and putting them into a separate photo album. This wasn't something she would ever tell anyone, not even her best friend. From time to time she'd crop out his name so even if someone else were to see them there would be no indication of who wrote them.

Most of the ones she had were always from late at night, when one of them had a bad day or they both were having trouble sleeping. He was the softest then, lowering himself mentally and producing feelings that for awhile, Courtney wasn't sure he had. Though his messaging style was still him, his words were more intentional and had meaning behind them. If they ended up in some disagreement, he could call her and they'd talk through it in voices barely above a whisper.

Courtney had her issues. She knew that, and most people had some inkling she used a lot of her strong personality to hide it. Duncan was the same way, and that was why he knew how to get to her better than a lot did.

Shrugging off the tangent she was falling into, she turned around with her phone in hand and maneuvered out of the bedroom, softly closing the door behind her and making her way back outside.

"Where are you off to?" A feminine, older voice disrupted the silence of the house. Courtney turned to greet her mother.

When she looked at her mother, she could see pieces of herself. The nose, warm skin tone complemented by pure brunette hair. They were nearly the same height too, though her mother was a couple inches taller.

Courtney slid her phone into the pocket of her shorts. "I'm hanging out with Duncan." She revealed simply.

Again, her heart sunk at the eyeroll her mother reacted with. Over and over again she's tried convincing them he was more than his physical appearance, but it was always to no avail. There were never any first chances. This was another thing that added to the current tension surrounding the family.

"When will you give it up Courtney? You're better than that Roscoe Trash. Christ." She muttered, annoyance easily heard.

"He isn't trash, mom. I've asked you for years to stop saying that and you won't." Courtney responded, annoyance matching.

Her mother retorted. "How did his parents, two good members of society, produce such a train wreck? I'll never understand."

Courtney could feel her anger increasing, so instead of verbally responding she shook her head and walked off.

There was no response from her mother, and it was probably an indication the two would not be speaking for the next couple of days. That's how their relationship continued to fluctuate as Courtney got older and began to step out of the shadows of her parents. Whenever she was a child and didn't live up to their standards, her mother wouldn't speak to her for hours, sometimes days at a time.

It only got worse when Courtney went away to school and began having realizations about what she truly wanted or didn't want to do as a career. And she had been dropping hints for some time, but none as large as today. And of course it didn't end up well; it never does when Courtney wants to do something for herself.

Once she stepped outside, she locked the door from the inside and pulled it closed. The break of air conditioning inside made her temporarily forget just how humid it still was outside.

Duncan was leaning on her great-grandfather's tree, staring down at his phone, scrolling with one hand. The other was in his pocket.

"What're you looking at?" She decided to ask, walking in his direction.

Immediately, he looked up at her and smirked, putting his phone away and taking his hand out of his pocket. "The Princess finally made it out the castle! I was just looking at Instagram models."

For the second time in a couple minutes, she rolled her eyes. This time, though, there wasn't any malice. "I hope one day your obnoxious DMs work and a rich blonde can whisk you away."

"Oh I'm sure you want that." He started walking away from Courtney and towards his motorcycle.

She began to follow him, watching the way he walked and how his hands swayed back-and-forth and the sweat slipping down his neck and underneath his shirt. It wasn't too hard to do when they weren't too far apart in height.

When they got to his bike, he opened up the seat and pulled out her helmet. A few years ago after Duncan got the bike he bought an awful helmet with a sticker of Peach from Mario on it. In a weird way, it was kind of cute he thought of her. Unfortunately though, Courtney hated it and she hated that he kept it around for her.

Grudgingly, she snatched the helmet from him and put it on her head. "Oh c'mon, you have to like it by now." She heard him say as she snapped it tight.

"One day I'm going to paint this thing black so I can fit in." Courtney glared at him as she spoke. She adjusted it so it was more comfortable.

He laughed again, clicking his plain black helmet on and hopping onto his motorcycle. "Yeah yeah whatever you say, man."

Carefully, she watched him easily maneuver onto the vehicle, like he had done it over a thousand times (which, yeah he probably has). She stood there for a moment, before she realized he was slapping the part of the seat behind him. "You're such a pig."

Courtney glided behind him and sat on the piece, automatically wrapping her arms around his body and lifting her legs up above the ground. When he chuckled, she could feel it from her hands to her arms to her shoulders and more.

"Hold on tight." She could barely hear him over the revving of his motorcycle. When she glanced back at her house, peeking in the upper window was her mother, arms crossed disapprovingly. Before she could make any reaction, Duncan pulled off.

Closing her eyes was always the first reaction. She would count to ten before opening them; similarly, Courtney always leaned into Duncan when they first took off. It was embarrassing and she always hoped he wouldn't mention it; it was unlike her to feel anything related to fear.

It hadn't happened in awhile, but one day he stopped teasing her about it. She wasn't sure when, but even with the added anxiety after she hopped off the bike, there was a thought in the back of her head he would say something. But he didn't. Maybe the jokes got old for him, and he figured there were more things to talk about that would annoy her more than a simple head lean.

By the time Courtney opened her eyes, she was staring at the passing trees. If she blinked she wondered how many she would miss over. She looked up at the sky and noticed how pretty it was for the first time. Not sweating as much, the passing air relieved her of the humidity she felt sitting in one spot.

She broke away from Duncan's spine and looked at the mop of black hair sticking out of his helmet. He was staring straight ahead, playing some grunge music from the radio. It didn't bother her as much as it used to. Courtney noticed they were heading towards the expressway, which would take them out of Roscoe and towards the next town over.

The first time Duncan showed her the music he listened to, she raised an eyebrow at him and the frown on her face never left. It was noisy, jumbled, and she could barely make out the words. The next song he played was better, and she complimented the guitarist and their abilities. Though she could still barely understand the words, she could understand the feelings behind the song.

Courtney was no virtuoso, but for most of her life she played the violin and guitar; just another group of talents to add to her resume. She was classically trained, spending the weekends practicing until her fingers bled.

Duncan played the guitar too, but he was self-taught. He explained how he used to steal his brother's sheet music and guitar and just mess around until he sounded good. He hasn't been playing for as long as Courtney, but she finally recognized his talent their senior year of high school. There was a talent show to fundraise for prom, and she was shocked to see he voluntarily signed up with some of his friends to be in a band.

Courtney watched from the sidelines, going a few performances after them. They played Paint it Black by The Rolling Stones and Losing My Religion by R.E.M. As much as she hated to admit it, Duncan's skills were captivating and he made the entire school fall in love with him all over again. Even teachers were clapping and singing along. The look on his face told Courtney everything she needed to know: he was completely lost in the music, and she could hear the emotions from his fingers to the strings.

Her eyes never left the then-teenager, and when the group walked back towards Courtney's direction she stood there clapping.

"Sheesh, the class president giving us her blessing. Must've been one hell of a performance." The bassist, a kid Shawn, spoke.

She remembered rolling her eyes. "How'd I do, Princess?" Made her turn towards her friend(ish).

"You were really good, Duncan." She complimented. Never would she admit this to him, but even she was a little dazzled by his performance. "I can tell you put a lot into it."

The smile he wore after that was infectious, and even Courtney was smiling back as genuinely as he looked. Then, like he always did, he threw his arm over her shoulders and leaned down into her ear. "Good luck Court, though you don't need it."

Now, the two have a playlist where they continuously add their favorite songs as the time passes. It's grown to be over one hundred songs, but sometimes when Courtney is at school and is (oddly) missing a juvenile, she'll put it on shuffle and play it until her homework or studying is completed.

They were steadily driving on the highway, passing cars left and right. Pretty safely, might Courtney add. There wasn't too much traffic going in this direction tonight, so wherever they were going it wouldn't take long to get to it.

Sometimes, Duncan will break the silence between them while he's driving, but he hadn't done so yet. This wasn't completely unusual; Courtney decided to believe he was a much better driver when he had others with him compared to being just alone.

That was a fear she developed after Duncan got his motorcycle license and saved enough money to buy it: he would get into an accident and she wouldn't know. There was already a laundry list of fears gathered as time continued (getting arrested, getting involved in gang activity, getting kicked out, not getting a job, and being a teenaged father were the primary ones) but this one was for sure near the top of the list.

He was a teenaged juvenile, so getting arrested was unfortunately expected. That also extended to being involved in a gang and getting kicked out of his house. Not getting a job was plausible, and she had a feeling if that ever were the case he would end up sleeping on her couch and she'd let him. He escaped being a teenaged father (he turned 20 at the end of March), but she just kept thinking he was using protection whenever he had sex. At least, she hoped so.

All this said, Courtney had some belief he would get it together. He already started to; he was planning on attending their local community college this fall and paying for it all by himself. At some point during high school he started working on the weekends at a mechanic shop, fixing motorcycles and cars for the locals. Courtney knew he was good at it too - she's taken her car to his shop a few times to get little things fixed like an oil change. Her parents insisted she didn't because they would only make it worse. They just don't get it. Once he started working full-time after graduation, she helped him budget his money and make a savings for things like school or if he wanted to go on vacation.

"Duncan!" She yelled. He hadn't heard her, or if he did he ignored it.

"DUNCAN!" She screamed a bit louder.

"WHAT?" He responded.

"WHERE ARE WE GOING?" She asked at the same volume.

---

"Princess, you keep asking me that as if I'm going to break down and tell you." Duncan responded. She could hear the eyeroll in his voice.

Her headphones were in and he was speaking in a lower volume. Despite the fact she had her own room, she still didn't want her roommate to overhear anything he said. "I know," she started, "but I'm really curious." She spoke quietly.

He chuckled, and it sounded like his voice got deeper, even know she knew it hadn't. "You'll find out when you come home for break."

"Duncan, that's literally next month." Courtney complained. "You can't tell someone you have a surprise for them and then not say where. That's not fair."

"Life ain't fair." He responded.

They had been going back and forth for about ten minutes at this point. Courtney had told him last week she got an A on a paper worth nearly a third of her grade, and after that he decided he was going to take her out to dinner when she flew back home in November.

Today was gloomy outside, yellow and orange leaves rustling around campus. The sky was spitting out burst of rain, seemingly recognizing summer was completely over and the city was transitioning into fall.

There was no more humidity, no more sweat sticking to one's neck. There was a chill in the air, especially when the sun went down and the clouds were summoned to coat the city in greys. The fall was anxious; it knew there was worse to come, but it wanted to give people a warning. This isn't the worse yet is what it felt like, and people should take that seriously.

Courtney had an okay day; her morning coffee wasn't as good as normal and looking at her syllabus she realized she had a lot more work in the next couple of weeks than she anticipated, but it could have been a lot worse.

It was Duncan that called her this time, late at night when Courtney was finishing up her bedtime routine. She had a candle lit on her bedside table, the smell of cinnamon putting her to sleep. The lights were off and she was underneath her blanket when her phone started vibrating next to her. Duncan brightened the room, and Courtney couldn't help but answer. It was unusual for him to call out of the blue. She asked if everything was okay, and he responded by talking about this surprise he had.

"How was your day, Duncan?" She asked, snuggling more into her mattress and underneath her blanket. Courtney was laying on her side - olive silk pillow covering on the right side of her face.

There were a few moments before he spoke. "Fine."

It was going to be one of those conversations.

She responded. "What did you do?"

"Nothing much, went to class in the morning. Gwen stopped by the shop while I was working." He answered, his tone not giving away anything about how he was feeling.

Courtney scrunched up underneath her covers. She remembered Gwen from high school. They never really ran in the same circles, but she and Duncan seemed somewhat close. Everything she knew about Gwen came from Duncan's mouth.

Entitled the school's Goth girl, Gwen always seemed like a mystery to most. She kept to herself, smoked cigarettes during lunchtime and wrote a lot of poetry. Like Duncan, she wore darker clothes and listened to the same music and watched the same movies and tv shows. Everyone thought they were going to get married and have punk-goth babies and live happily ever after in some apartment complex in town, Courtney included.

Up until recently, her name hadn't popped up in conversation for awhile. While Courtney was at school the two reconnected and had been hanging out again like the high school days. Last week Duncan drunk-called Courtney and left a two minute voicemail; in the background Courtney could hear Gwen chirping, telling him to get off the phone and to do this and that. Courtney didn't mention it to him, and he never brought it up. It wasn't her business what Duncan was doing, as much as she wished it was.

"Oh, cool. How long did she stay for?" She decided on asking.

"Not long. She wants to go to this horror-movie fest Friday night."

Courtney tried sounding enthusiastic, but it was somewhat difficult to do so when she wasn't excited at all. "That sounds fun, did you say yes?"

Duncan sounded bored. "I told her I'd let her know tomorrow."

No jokes, no teasing, she couldn't even hear a smile. "Okay."

They stayed on the phone in silence for a couple minutes. Courtney wasn't sure what to say, and she wasn't sure what Duncan was calling her for. He knew she wasn't Gwen's biggest fan; Gwen influenced Duncan to start smoking more than the twice a week they agreed upon and he was spending more money on things like alcohol and weed and she's pretty sure he skipped a class last week. But, she knew they were really good friends and there wasn't much she could do. Those were boundaries she didn't have the authority to set.

Her eyes were starting to flutter when Duncan spoke up again. "Courtney."

"What?" She whispered.

He chuckled. "Are you falling asleep on me?"

She sighed, and flipped onto her back. "Well, you're not talking to me so what else am I supposed to do? You're being weird."

On the other side of the phone was some shuffling, so Courtney could only assume he was in bed too. "What do you mean weird?"

Courtney sucked her teeth, getting annoyed. "You're not actually engaged in talking to me. Your responses are literally ten words or less and it's making it difficult to have a productive conversation. You know what you're doing, so whatever you actually want to say just say it."

"You know, not every fucking conversation has to be productive dude. God can't we just talk?" There was a quick burst of a temper on the other line, which only annoyed her more.

"Maybe if you were using words other than 'fine' and 'cool' we could actually talk and not sit here in silence Duncan. Get over yourself." The volume of her voice was steadily increasing.

Duncan's voice was matching hers. "Well if you were able to say things to make shit interesting in life this -."

She hung up before he finished, done with the conversation. On her back, she took a deep breath, removed her headphones from her ears, and turned on her alarm for the next morning. Sitting up and leaning across the space between her bed and bedside table, she blew her candle out and went back into her previous position.

Eyes closed and her room still swirling with the aroma of cinnamon, Courtney was nearly asleep before a buzzing jolted her back awake. She reached for her phone and squinted her eyes at the caller ID. Despite her phone automatically switching to Do Not Disturb mode after 11:30PM, people still in her favorites list can call through it.

As her phone continued to buzz, she took a deep breath and put her headphones back in before sliding it to answer. "What?"

"I don't really want to go with her." Was the first thing he said, sighing into the phone.

Courtney almost made him say where and with who, but for the time being she pushed it into the back of her head. "So just tell her."

There were more sounds of movement. "I think she wants it to be a date." Before she could respond, he answered her question. "I'm not sure if I want it to or not, though."

The added words made Courtney's shoulders feel like they were heavier, and her stomach had this twisted feeling she wasn't familiar with. She wasn't sure what the right thing to say was or which organ she should lead her answer with.

Finally, a decision was made. "Just sleep on it and tomorrow you may change your mind. Do you like her?"

"I don't know Princess. We like hangout a lot and it's cool but I don't know if I can see her like that." Duncan sounded a bit stressed, and Courtney could somewhat sympathize him. He was stuck between changing their friendship status to something more or keeping things the way they are.

Considering she's only ever had one boyfriend in her life and it was sophomore year in high school, Courtney didn't have enough experience to give him the best possible answer.

He continued speaking. "I miss you, and I'll never say it again but I just want you to know that."

The statement made her smile, and for a moment, the awful feelings she had went away. "You're so needy, Duncan. The feelings are the same though."

She could hear him chuckle again, this time a little more authentic. "Say it."

"Say what?" Confused, she questioned him.

He quickly responded. "That you miss me, duh."

Courtney smiled again, rolling her tired eyes. "I miss you too, Duncan. As much as you piss me off. Which is all the time by the way."

"I know." She could hear his smile on the other side of the line.

A few days later, the brunette was drunk at some Halloween party. There were many offerings of tequila shots, and it was hard to refuse one when there so many already in her system.

Duncan went to the movie showings with Gwen; she knew because he texted her that he was.

It was getting close to one in the morning, and Courtney was ready to go home. She and her roommate decided on a themed Halloween costume - Courtney would be a "sexy witch" and her roommate was a "sexy cat". The theme was Sabrina and the Teenaged Witch, a American show they both watched growing up. After a few hours the fishnet stockings were getting a little too itchy and her black minidress kept rising up. Her witch hat was long-gone, disappearing in the crowd of boys she competed against in beer pong.

She truly was having a good time, laughing and dancing and drinking at the house party. The girls didn't hate her like in high school and the boys weren't completely flirty, letting her play drinking games and being more and more enamored after every game she won. They didn't know how competitive she was; they didn't know who taught her the tricks to winning all the games either.

Courtney looked for her roommate but after one of her sorority sisters informed her of who they were speaking to, she decided it would be best to walk back home in her wedges. One of the guys offered her his apartment couch (or maybe bed, Courtney was too drunk to read in-between the lines) but she politely declined, saying she only lived a few minutes away. Another offered to walk her home, but she said no to them too - she needed the time to herself to sober up. They all invited her to another Halloween party they were going to have the following night, and Courtney promised she would think about it, before making her fifteen-minute walk towards her apartment across town.

"Listen here you piece of shit," she started the voicemail a minute away from her apartment, walking past other rowdy kids and parties, "I hope you know that I am drunk beyond belief and you aren't here to witness it. I hope you're jealous when you hear this, me - Courtney - drunk off her ass." She sniffled. "I went to a party as a witch, that's probably what you think of me too, an annoying witch. Well, unfortunately I'm not going anywhere so you're stuck with me for the rest of your life." She walked at the green light, continuing her trek. "You know the other day when you were being a dick to me? Well, like that's all the time but specifically Wednesday night. I wish sometimes you would just tell me what you want to say. I'm not a mind-reader, Duncan. If I was, I'd be a fortuneteller for Halloween and not this stupid witch."

She stopped for a quick moment, walking back an obnoxiously loud group of young adults like herself. "I hope you're having the best time ever with Gwen. Well, I don't really hope that but I guess as long as you're happy so am I. That's what friends are for, right?" There was strain on the word friends. Her wedges continued to click on the pavement. "I get I'm not the most emotional person in the world, but you mean a lot to me. So stop being a prick and that way I don't have to think about killing you. God I am so tired. Did you know I had like seven-ish tequila shots. All the guys couldn't believe it, I showed him who the boss is." As she continued, talking, she entered her apartment complex and walked the two flights of stairs, pulling her key out of her bra and entering. By the time the voicemail had automatically ended the call, Courtney was already fast asleep on her couch.

The next morning was a bit brutal. Waking up to a pounding headache and the urge to empty her stomach, Courtney slowly sat up on the couch and groaned. She was very much still in her fishnets and her dress had rode all the way above her belly-button, exposing her black cheeky underwear. At one point in the night she ripped her wedges off and was barefoot in the morning. They were scattered in the living room, no organization to where they were dropped off.

Courtney took a deep breath and dropped her shoulders, trying to think. The walk back to the apartment was a bit fuzzy, but she remembered talking to someone? Thinking about what she drank yesterday made her queasier than she had intended to be, so she stood up, facing the direction of the bathroom. Before she could walk, Courtney recognized her phone on the floor, and she picked that up. Stripping of her fishnets, the brunette slowly walked into the kitchen and poured tap water into a coffee mug. Then, she went and sat on the cold tile of the bathroom floor.

Opening her phone, she immediately went to her Find My Friends app to locate her roommate. It was 10:09AM and the girl was still at whatever guy's house she was talking to yesterday. Good for her. Courtney didn't have many people's locations: her roommate (she went out a lot more frequently and it made Courtney feel safer at night knowing where she was), Bridgette (her best friend from high school - she wondered how she was doing), and Duncan.

Duncan's location was at his house, which felt a bit abnormal. He usually worked early on the weekends; it was his reasoning to do stupid Duncan-things in the evenings. But it was also one of his favorite holidays, so him sitting in and watching movies all day felt right too.

The next thing Courtney did was check her text messages, which she briefly ignored for the confirmation of her roommate's safety. The girl hadn't texted Courtney since yesterday afternoon, so the brunette sent a quick "are you alive?" text and moved on, the side of her head resting on the porcelain. Duncan had sent her a few texts, to which she opened.

They were from about a hour ago, a string of messages about his night. Instead of reading them (she truly did not have the energy to do it), she decided to call him. The scariest thing Courtney had seen all Halloween weekend was right before, at an outgoing call a little after 1AM to Duncan she did not remember making.

He answered cheerily, "Good morning, Princess!"

She groaned, and wished she had texted him. "You're too loud."

Duncan chuckled, but did lower his voice a bit. "Aw are you not feeling well?"

"I feel like shit." She took a sip of her water and looked up in the direction of the medicine cabinet, but no energy to stand and grab anything. "How was your night?"

"How was your night?" He responded with a question. Duncan was teasing her, she knew it. She just let it be for now.

Courtney sighed and lifted her head. "I asked first."

He retorted, "I texted you already."

"I didn't read any of it, so tell me how your night was." She drank more of her water.

She heard Duncan suck his teeth, and she knew he was rolling his eyes. "You're so annoying." Courtney could only hum in agreement, sitting her phone on her thigh. "It was cool for the most part. None of the movies were scary, but some were really gory which was awesome. Uhh they were done by like eleven, but I was beat from work and school so I called it a night."

Duncan's voice was deep, smooth, and comforting to listen to. Every once and awhile, he would go on a long tangent about something stupid and Courtney would just sit and listen to him, never really hearing anything he said.

Once he finished speaking, Courtney asked, "What about Gwen? How was it with her?"

There was a little bit of shuffling around. "She was fine. We shared some popcorn and pretzels and shit." Then there was a little groan. "She tried to kiss me once I dropped her off at her apartment."

This nearly sobered Courtney up, and she interjected for the first time. "'Tried' implies you did not kiss her back."

"I just couldn't. Like she's cool and stuff but I don't know, I just didn't want to. Jesus it sucked, like I moved my head back awkward. I told her I think she's cool as fuck and one of the realest people in the world, but I didn't see her like that." Duncan rambled.

Courtney sat on her floor and continued to listen. "You sound guilty."

He responded. "Believe it or not, Princess, I have feelings too. I actually feel like shit when I can't give someone what they want sometimes."

"Oh, well you should feel like shit everyday then."

"Why?" He sounded confused, like there was something he was missing.

There was a small grin on her face. "Because you never give me peace and quiet, and that's all I ask from you."

He actually laughed for a second. "Oh fuck you. I know you're cheesing hard too, thinking you got me."

She giggled, and her head throbbed. "I think I did pretty good. You set yourself up for that."

"Well since you have the energy, tell me about your night. Though I will say I heard bits and pieces of it from the voicemail you left."

Voicemail?

In response, Courtney just laid her temple on the toilet and groaned. She could hear Duncan cackling on the other side of the phone. "Wait, send me a picture of what you were wearing, so I can visualize it all as you're sharing about your night."

"You're a creep." She had the energy to say, opening her phone and finding a picture of her that her roommate took. Courtney was standing to the side, looking at the camera and tipping her hat. Her other hand held a glass - Christ, she forgot about the gin and tonic - and her left leg was kicked up. She was smiling, still very sober from the night. She sent it to him, waiting to hear whatever gross comment Duncan would make. "I just sent it."

"Yeah, I'm looking at it now." His tone was flat, void of any teasing or playful energy. "Dude, you are so hot, you know that right?"

She could feel her cheeks heat up, contrasting the coolness of the toilet. "Shut up, Duncan."

He continued. "No. I'm so serious. You are so gorgeous it's insane." There was a tang of, well it sounded like jealousy to Courtney, but she wasn't sure. "There's no way you didn't go home with a guy last night. They'd have to be blind."

With every word Courtney felt more and more blinded by withheld feelings. This happened sometimes - Duncan would start complimenting her and if they were together he'd be a little bit more touchy-feely and again, those walls would start breaking down for both of them. Nothing had really ever happened between the two.

Sometimes she wondered why. At the same time, most of it was probably her fault. She normalized most actions as friend-ish because she never had a lot of those to begin with, so she never knew or could understand the difference between friends and more than that. Courtney would never admit she was socially awkward. She really wasn't up-front. But in her friendships she struggled a lot with seeing a lot of stuff as hostile and people being nice was always a sign of deceit. When people were nice she didn't know why; Courtney was a terrible person. A terrible person with an awful shitty personality. That was obvious in high school, and though she would like to believe it's gotten better, she isn't too sure.

"Duncan," Courtney started, choosing her words carefully. "If I was to go home with anyone, why would I have called you and left you a voicemail. I woke up on my couch this morning, still in my costume."

To some extent, she blamed it on her parents. She was reprimanded for behavior normal in kids, and the strict lifestyle Courtney grew up with she wasn't aware wasn't normal until high school. When she brought this up to her parents, her mother explained they were less fortunate and that their parents didn't work hard enough to get to the position their family was in. Courtney ate up every word, and for awhile saw herself as better than everyone else and as a vessel to continue that legacy.

Duncan broke a lot of those beliefs down throughout high school and afterwards.

His words interrupted her thoughts. "Can you come home already? I want to hangout. And why'd you choose a school so far away."

Feeling a bit better, Courtney sat up without the support of the toilet. "This one is only a few hours away, and I had to go to a really good school. You know that. I'll be home for a few days next month, you're taking me out to dinner, remember?"

"I would never forget that Princess. What do you see me as, a Neanderthal?"

"Yes."

They laughed together. The mug of water was finished and Courtney realized the headache wasn't as bad as she thought it was. Not she just needed to put something in her stomach so she could take an Advil or something equivalent.

"Wait, Duncan I wanted to ask. Why are you home on a Saturday? Shouldn't you be at work?" Courtney questioned, slowly standing up with her phone and mug in hand.

The groan he released made her a bit concerned. "Ma wants us to do something pumpkin picking in a little bit, like a damn family outing."

That actually made Courtney laugh aloud. "Oh that is so cute. Can you tell her to send me pictures of it. Wait, can you wear a turtleneck?"

"I knew you'd get a kick out of that." He wasn't hiding his disdain, and that only made Courtney giggle more. "And no, I will not tell her to send you pictures."

When she made it to the kitchen, she set her mug and phone on the counter and opened the fridge, eyeing the leftover pizza she and her roommate shared yesterday. She grabbed it and set the box on the counter, opening it and taking a cold slice. "That's totally fine, I'll just text her and ask her myself."

The young adult on the other side of the phone audibly sighed, cursing under his breath. "Anyways, this shit is supposed to be an all afternoon event, so I had to change my schedule around to catch up on the hours I miss today. I'll be working tomorrow morning and Monday morning before class, so if you text or call I probably won't answer."

"I see. Well, at least you aren't losing any hours this week." Courtney said after she finished eating a bite of the pizza. It was plain cheese, exactly what she needed too. Opening the cabinet to her left, she pulled out her dairy pills and took one out, planning to swallow it in her next pizza bite.

"Yeah, right. All the guys laughed at me and shit but they said their moms used to make them do the same thing. It's embarrassing. And what are you eating?" He complained before asking.

Courtney put more water in her mug before responding, "Pizza. I need to take an Advil."

He chuckled. "You sound like shit, so I totally believe that." Before he continued, there was a knocking on his side of the line. "What?" Duncan called out.

She could barely hear the other person, but the familiar feminine voice told Courtney it was his mother. Then she couldn't hear anything, so she assumed he probably muted his side of the line to have a conversation.

While she was on mute, she walked back into her bathroom and opened the medicine cabinet, grabbing the pill bottle and walking back into the kitchen. She was still on mute, so she took the medicine and drank some water to finish it off. Then, she finished off the rest of her slice of pizza.

Today would be a lazy day. She'd watch a little bit of Gilmore Girls and then maybe put on a Halloween movie or two. Order out dinner again, and then consider going back to that house for another party. Though, the thought of drinking still made her stomach uncomfortable. Overall, it had been a shitty week and she needed to destress.

The brunette pulled out another slice of pizza. But, before she took a bit, she realized she was still in her clothes from last night. Feeling embarrassed, she brought her phone into her bedroom and was in the process of changing when Duncan came back to the line.

"Sorry about that, Ma was giving me a detailed itinerary of how the day is supposed to go. She also told me to be on my best behavior." He explained.

Courtney, finally taking off her fishnets, threw them into the trash. "It's fine, though I will agree with her and think you should be on your best behavior too. Don't cause too much trouble." She pulled her dress off her body and put it in the hamper.

Duncan spoke. "You're moving around a lot. What's up?"

"I'm changing my clothes." She stated simply.

"Damn, and I have to go at the worst moment possible. Send me a pic."

She rolled her eyes, putting gray sweatpants on and a long white t-shirt. "You're so annoying. Sorry to disappoint, but I'm in my pajamas now. Go be a good son and brother and hangout with your family."

Groaning disappointedly, Duncan replied. "Fine, I will try my very very best. I'll talk to you later?"

"Yeah of course. Bye Duncan."

"Bye Princess." He ended the call.

She picked up her phone and smiled at it, though there wasn't anything on the screen. Immediately there was a text bubble that appeared on her screen. It was from Duncan, and it read:

can you call in two hours and say you're having an emergency so i have an excuse to leave please

Walking back into the kitchen, she leaned onto the counter and picked up her pizza with one hand. With the other hand, she texted 'no' and ate, moving into other social media apps on her phone to see what other people were up to.

During this time, she received a text from her roommate confirming her status as alive, and also a message saying she would be home somewhat soon. Courtney simply 'liked' the message, knowing she was about to get a detailed timeline and story of this girl's night, and she needed to be mentally prepared to hear it all.

For the most part, she still felt terrible but good enough to possibly go back to sleep or stay up and watch TV. She continued to eat her pizza, smiling at the thought of Duncan pumpkin picking with his family.

Despite the complaining, this was something his parents (mainly his mom) did yearly, where for a random holiday she would gather her little family and do a tradition for it. Last year it was Christmas, so she pushed everyone into the car and drove them to a Christmas tree farm to pick out a tree for the year. She remembered Duncan texting her and complaining about it the entire time; yet, when she stopped by the next day to see it he was extremely focused on decorating it so it was perfect. Courtney ended up helping that year with him, letting him take the lead.

The year before that was Mother's Day. That memory made Courtney laugh aloud. Duncan's mom planned a huge brunch for the women in everyone's lives, and all the boys had to cook the food. Courtney was invited (despite not being a mother) and it was one of the best days of the year. All the boys (Duncan, his dad, his uncle and his brother) were covered in flour and egg yolks and anything else that could be found in a kitchen. Duncan drew a heart on Courtney's home fries, and she had a picture of it somewhere on her phone.

As she continued to fall into her memories, the door knocked. It took her out of her train of thought, and when she checked the Find My Friends app, she saw her roommate was in the same proximity to her. So Courtney walked over and opened the door.

---

"Thanks, it's freezing out here." Duncan greeted, wool hat sitting on the mop of hair he had.

Courtney was wearing her black puffer coat and black leggings, snow boots tied up. She moved to the side and let him in. He rubbed his hand on the top of her head like someone would do to a dog, and then ran up the stairs.

"Duncan." She complained, closing the door with her foot and fixing her hair so it was nice and neat again. She turned around and followed his grey coat up the stairs in the direction of her bedroom.

By the time she walked into her room, he was nowhere to be found. The door next to her closet was closed, so he must've still been in her bathroom. The carpet looked a bit damp from the snow outside, but it would probably melt later in the evening.

Her room was spotless, bed made and desk clear of clutter. Her laptop was closed and for at least the rest of the night, she could relax. The toilet flushed and the sink turned on and off in a matter of twenty seconds. The door opened and out came Duncan, wiping his hands on his coat. His brown boots were permanently stained from the snow and his jeans looked good on him. They were fitted, and the top of them disappeared under his grey coat. He was zipping it back up, tucking his scarf back inside the coat. "What's up Babydoll?" He greeted again, walking and throwing an arm over Courtney.

The young adult couldn't help but smile. "Hi Duncan, how are you?" Discretely, she leaned in closer to Duncan.

It was warm in her room, a boarder of defense against the cold outside. The weather had transitioned again to unforgivable, temperatures dipping to lows people hadn't seen in years.

Almost immediately after, she could feel Duncan's head rest on top of hers. "Cold as shit. You ready to leave now or do you still have chores you need to finish?"

She rolled her eyes at his language, but responded anyways. "I'm ready to go whenever you are."

Her parents were out of town again, something that was normal during this time of year. They typically went to seminars around the country that would last two-to-three weeks and left Courtney with a slew of chores that needed to be done. This didn't stop once she went away to college; her parents would purchase her ticket and leave it hanging on the refrigerator underneath a magnet.

This had been going on for years - at first, they would leave their daughter with different nannies who would take care of her up until she was fifteen. At that point, her parents believed she was old enough to be responsible for her own well-being. They wrote down the codes for the security systems, a list of chores and reminders, and left it at that. And for years Courtney would live in silence, drowning in the loneliness until school started again or her parents returned - whichever came first. But, during their junior year of high school Duncan's mom ran into Courtney's mother in the grocery store and one thing led to another. Which is how Courtney ended up sleeping over at Duncan's house at least once every year.

Duncan unwrapped his arm from Courtney's shoulder and stuck both his hands in his pockets. "Alright, then let's get out of this place."

Courtney followed him out of her room (which she turned the light out for), down her hallway and staircase, and outside of her house, picking up her backpack full of clothes along the way. She locked the front door from the inside, quickly pulling her hood up as the wind hit her and her hair flew in all kinds of directions.

The wind made the weather even colder than it was predicted to be. The greyness of the sky was a mood-killer. There were no citrus-tasting colored skies on a breathless winter evening; if anything, the darkness could swallow someone whole and leave no leftovers. The only peace could be found inside, watching the pure snow touch tainted grounds humans walked on. And even then it was comforting for so long.

This time, Duncan drove over with his mom's car. It was too cold to be on his bike, and there was a good chance of snow not too long from now. It was a black Toyota, one she had been driving for years. Sometimes Duncan would borrow it in high school, and he would drop Courtney off after school in it.

The clicking of the car doors unlocking made Courtney look up, and Duncan was opening the passenger door for her.

"Thanks." She spoke politely, ducking her head from the wind and swiftly getting into the car. Duncan wordlessly closed it shut and sprinted to the driver's seat, popping inside and slamming his door shut.

He rubbed his gloveless hands together for a brief moment before turning the car on and immediately turning the car seat heaters on. "Fuck it's cold out."

Courtney was too occupied staring at the seat heating buttons to scold him on his language, waiting for the inevitable warmth to set in.

The drive to Duncan's house wasn't far, but the scenery made it seem like it was. The houses went from having lots of feet between them to being bunched together, looking as if gorilla glue stuck them together. Their front lawns were decreasing in size, and none of them could manage to have a tree the size of Courtney's.

They would always get smaller and smaller, master bedrooms being the size of Courtney's kitchen sometimes. There was a visible wealth gap that existed, and Courtney knew it. For awhile, she didn't know.

Duncan never complained about it. He would treat any space like it was supposed to be his, but Courtney knew he secretly loved his childhood home. There were so many priceless memories he had with his family. Size never meant anything to him; as long as he was comfortable he was content.

That was one of the main reasons he rarely stepped foot in Courtney's house. It was off-putting, cold, and the way her parents treated him was probably a constant reminder of where he stood compared to them. She hated it; she really did. It took so long before Duncan let her into his house. She never understood why until the second or third time afterwards.

He was scared about her reaction; at the end of the day, no one can ignore her social status and there was a fear she would think he was dirty or gross. If anything, she was absolutely envious of the life Duncan had. He had people to go home to; people that were concerned about his well-being and every time Courtney walked in there was an encompassing feeling of belonging.

Whenever Courtney walked inside her house, her back was straight and her head was high. She'd never come home with a negative report from camp or school. She wasn't allowed to. There was never a hug or a kiss on the cheek or even a "How was your day?" It was dehumanizing, and Courtney could never understand why Duncan took a liking to her.

"What're you thinking about? You've been quiet this whole ride." The young man spoke, breaking Courtney out of a cycle she'd continuously been in.

She looked out the window, and it looked like it was beginning to snow. "Nothing really important." She felt more emotional than usual today. In the back of her mind, she wanted to keep going with her train of thought. That she was really happy to be here and was excited to see his mom. This was something she looked forward to every year and enjoyed spending all this time with him before she had to go back to school.

Courtney and Duncan had seen each other nearly everyday since she got home for winter break. It was about a little over a week long, but Duncan made sure to set time aside to at least see her face. Whether it was Duncan throwing rocks late at night at her window or Courtney treating him to lunch as a belated birthday present, they maneuvered around Duncan's work schedule and made it work. At one point, she realized he may be her best friend.

In actuality, they probably have been for awhile. Neither one of them actually would admit it to the other, but Courtney realized that she hadn't even spoken to her claimed "best friend" Bridgette in what felt like forever. She knew part of that was her fault, and she should really reach out soon and plan something before she leaves again.

Finally, Duncan was parking outside of his cozy home. Courtney smiled at the sight of it, excited to get inside and away from the storm for a night. He hadn't responded to her earlier claim of not thinking about anything important, but she was sure he knew it was a lie. She pushed her hood back on top of her head and waited until he opened his car door first before she followed suit.

His house was really cozy, in Courtney's eyes. There was a small front lawn, full of memories of the two of them arguing on it. Or, Duncan would be smoking and Courtney sitting on the front step, watching disapprovingly until he was finished and they'd have some of the deepest conversations the two had experienced.

The first thing that Courtney always saw when entering the home was the coat rack, Duncan's father's police hat hanging on it. There were various jackets on it; some were also on the floor (definitely Duncan's). Courtney unzipped hers and placed it on top of someone else's. There was no way anyone was leaving this place anytime soon.

Both young adults kicked their boots off, Courtney placing hers on the doormat so they would dry off from the first snowfall. Duncan ran up the stairs, presumably to put his coat in his room, exclaiming to his family he was back.

"Courtney! Oh darling." A familiar voice came from the end of the hallway. Courtney walked down it, past their living room on the left-hand side and into the kitchen where Mrs. Marino was standing, turned away from the stove where several pots were sitting under heat.

One of the first things Courtney recognized when she first met Duncan's mom was that he had her eyes. They were the blue someone couldn't turn away from; tempting and hypnotizing like a siren's voice. Mrs. Marino was a shorter woman, dyed blonde hair and a smile that could warm any heart. It was hard to believe she was a police officer too, but compared to Duncan's father it was evident she was the "good cop" in the situation.

The older woman held her arms out, and Courtney leaned into them, hugging her back. "Hi Mrs. Marino, how are you?" She happily greeted.

"You know you're supposed to call me Elena honey. How are you my dear?" She rubbed Courtney's back, comforting her.

When the two let go, Courtney guiltily laughed. "I know that but -."

Duncan's mother interrupted. "No buts." She picked up a wooden spoon sitting in a pot and swung it vertically in Courtney's direction.

"Well either way I'm good, I'm happy to be here." Which was a honest answer from the brunette. She really was happy to be here.

Mrs. Marino turned around and stirred the red pasta sauce in a pot. As she spoke, the stomps of Duncan's feet came down the stairs. "I cannot believe your parents just leave you home every year to fend for yourself. You poor thing, you must be so lonely."

Courtney laughed awkwardly. This was a sentiment the mother had felt since she was informed of Courtney's parents trips during the holiday season. "Oh it's fine. I'm just happy to be here." She repeated herself.

Two firm hands placed themselves on her shoulders. "You better be, cause I ain't driving you back home." It was Duncan's voice, whispering just barely in her ear. It gave Courtney shivers, not from the cold.

In the background, Mrs. Marino cooed and "aww-ed" at them like they were two children before turning around towards the cooking food and giving the two their little moments of privacy.

"I'd rather walk back home than ever get in a car with you again." Courtney joked, not moving in any way that removed Duncan's hands from her shoulders.

"I didn't think I was that bad this time!" He argued, speaking a bit louder than his whisper.

The sound of sausage cooking in oil filled in the air, and the smell of homemade Italian food rose into Courtney's nostrils. She had experienced homemade cooking before - from her parents and her grandparents.

Her mother rarely cooked anymore, leaving Courtney to improve her skills by combining whatever was in the fridge and hoping it worked well together. Her father cooked sometimes when she was a child, coming home to the smell of spices and curry and other traditional foods. He stopped doing it as Courtney aged too - he was simply too busy with his work to set aside times to even provide basic conversations.

One of Courtney's earliest memories was sitting in her kitchen, watching her grandmother cook. She couldn't have been older than seven at the time, a few days off of school for Thanksgiving. The chair at the family's island counter was too tall for her to get in but her father quickly helped her in before returning to his phone call meeting.

There were vegetables and different sizes of chicken and seasonings on the counter. The rice cooker was sitting alone, humming and producing what Courtney chose to be her favorite food as a kid. Her grandmother, a first-generation Indian immigrant, was watching over the curry on the stove, dipping her finger in it to taste the flavor before decided what more she wanted to add to it. The cauliflower in front of Courtney was for the aloo gobhi she would make a little later.

Courtney wasn't exceptionally close with her grandmother - she came over a few times a year and would cook homemade food and read books to Courtney. This was on her father's side. Her grandmother on her mother's side came even less often than that, but when she did she always scolded Courtney's mom in Japanese for never teaching Courtney how to speak the language. Over the years, though, Courtney learned how to understand Japanese and some Hindi but could never formulate how to speak it.

Those memories felt jaded and from another lifetime; both her grandmothers passed when Courtney was just entering her teenaged years and neither of her parents publicly coped with the loss. One of her grandmother's was buried here in Canada, the other was cremated in Japan.

As the homemade cooking was made less and less, Courtney almost forgot what cooked food from a veteran parental chef was like.

The second time Courtney visited the Marino residence, she had a long conversation with Duncan's mom about it, explaining how she cooked for herself and once her grandparents died she rarely got homemade food. Though she enjoyed going out to cultural restaurants and eating the food, it would never taste the same as what she grew up eating. This came after she sat in the kitchen and watched Mrs. Marino make her homemade pasta and meatballs and sauce. It really had been the first time in years she saw someone take the time out to cook. Ever since then, whenever Courtney visited for the holidays Duncan's mother was in the kitchen.

Turning around and maneuvering around Duncan, Courtney walked into the living room and fell into the black leather couch, lifting her legs and laying them out on the furniture and resting her head on the armrest. She dropped her bookbag off on the floor. Scratched out memories of her grandparents where she only had certain pieces of it floated through her mind as she stared at an blank television screen.

Two seats over on the sofa, Duncan sat down and rubbed her ankle for a moment. "You alright?" He asked, acknowledging the quick change of mood.

She leaned up and looked at him and smiled, "I'm good. Just thinking about my grandparents."

The young adult laughed at Duncan's grimace at the word "grandparents". His grandparents on his father's side were both still alive and they were the types who were overwhelming with love and support - to the point where the Marino boys were uncomfortable by the strong showings of affection as they got older.

As Courtney had this thought, there was strong stomps coming from above the two and ultimately down the stairs. A young man, two years younger than Duncan and Courtney, flew from the second floor, long brown coat looking almost like a cape. He had his father's dark eyes but his mother's soft face; despite that, it was evident he and Duncan were related.

"Courtney." He greeted, throwing out his closed hand for a fist-bump.

She returned the favor. "Hi Trevor, how's school going?"

He made a face that replicated the one Duncan just showed, which would've been an indicator of their relation. "You always ask the worst questions, man. It's fine I guess, History is sooo boring though." Trevor complained, sticking his hands in his pockets looking for his keys.

"Where's the rascal off to?" Duncan asked, his form of a greeting being a question.

"Devin's for the night. Mom said I can go so don't even try to give me shit about it." Picking up a hat off the floor, the younger brother gave his sibling a fist-bump before putting the accessory on and opening the front door. "Peace Courtney. Bye Ma! Love you!" And slammed the door shut.

Duncan picked up the remote control and turned the television on, flipping through channels to find one that satisfied him. Courtney could only shake her head at how familiar Trevor's persona was. He wasn't as much as a troublemaker as Duncan, but the legacy he left at their high school made most of the administration wary of the younger Marino. Yet, he proved to be at least an OK kid, who sometimes did his homework and was on the hockey team.

He and Duncan were the same height and had a similar build. Trevor had a bit more facial hair and his hair was typically pushed back. For the most part, he stayed out of trouble at risk of being kicked off the high school sports team. Duncan complained their parents were more lenient with Trevor than they were with him; Courtney explained that based on an article she read, that's usually what happens when parents have more than one child.

Being an only child was another aspect of Courtney's loneliness. She had no cousins or siblings and barely any friends, so there was a piece of her envy directed towards those who did have those extended family members. There were experiences she never had and memories she'd never relive because of that. Sometimes she would wonder why her parents decided on only having on child; there wasn't even a pet Courtney could find company with for her childhood.

"Is this fine to put on?" Duncan asked, breaking her thoughts up for what felt like the hundredth time today.

The brunette turned and sat up, scooting over so she and Duncan were sitting next to each other. The channel Duncan was hovering over was showing a basic romantic Christmas movie, the same basic tale of a woman leaving a city to go to a small-town and meet some random guy from her childhood and falling in love. "Sure." She agreed, leaning back into the furniture and getting comfortable, crossing her right leg over the left.

He clicked on it and let it play, the movie only starting about fifteen minutes ago.

The living room was warm, evident the heat was on and protecting them from the increasing snowy weather outside.

It had only been about ten minutes of sitting before Duncan complained. "This movie sucks."

She knew it was going to happen eventually. "Duncan, you're the one who put it on."

He groaned next to her, moving his arm so it stretched across the couch and above Courtney's head. "I know, but Princess I thought you would enjoy it so that's why I put it on."

"How do you know I'm not enjoying it?" She asked, turning and looking at him.

He turned and looked back at her. "Because this shit is way too stupid for you."

Courtney smiled and rolled her eyes, going back to watching the movie. "It is stupid, but it's kind of cute. I don't really watch movies a lot."

"Yeah I know, you haven't watched anything. It's really sad." Duncan continued to complain, talking over the movie.

Instead of responding, Courtney smiled and turned back to the movie, ending the conversation.

As much as she would hate to admit it, Duncan was right. This movie does suck. It's too predictable and cheesy and was boring her, but she wouldn't give him this small victory. She kept her eyes glued to the screen as much as possible, finally glancing to her left to see if he was watching it still too.

He was not. And Courtney should've known better than to think maybe he'd give a cheesy Christmas movie a chance. Duncan was staring down at his phone, scrolling through different social media apps. She wanted to lean over and peek a bit closer to see what he was doing, but she didn't want to come off as nosy. So she glanced over one more time before going back to the television.

The movie was nearly putting her to sleep, the acting was so poorly done. There was no excitement through any of it, though Courtney longed for some companionship during the holidays. She turned around to look outside the window; the snow was steadily descending, placing a piece of winter comfort into her body. It was so peaceful. There were short memories of taking study breaks to watch it fall from her bedroom, endowing a purity she would never have herself.

Suddenly, an arm wrapped around her upper back and tugged her closer to the person of interest. "What're you looking at out there?" Felt almost like a whisper.

She easily scooted closer to the warm body, face heating up slowly. "Nothing, just the snow looks nice. I like watching it fall." She barely spoke an octave higher than Duncan. When she turned to look at him, she had to move her neck back, looking up in his direction. She placed her hands on her lap, feeling shy. He stared at her, blue eyes trembling, like he wanted to look somewhere else but couldn't. His arm lifted above her back and onto her shoulders, and she almost naturally fell into the space between his chest and shoulder. The eye contact broke, but in no way was it a forgettable experience. Before she looked back at the TV screen, he squeezed her lightly and had a smile on his face. Kind of like a smile where he was waiting for something; one of anticipation.

This simple-minded Christmas movie was still soothing Courtney to sleep. She could feel the heaviness of her eyes grow stronger and harder to compete against. The weight of school and her failing personal life made her shoulders droop. The smell of homemade meatballs and garlic and onions provided comfort to the young adult. And she would never (ever) admit this to him, but Duncan brought a level of relief too. For one of the few moments of this year, Courtney felt absolutely and totally safe. Like there was nothing that could touch her, hurt her, or make her believe she was at risk of harm.

It was a feeling she hadn't experienced often, and finally, she leaned in and closed her eyes.

The first thing she heard before she opened her eyes was Mrs. Marino calling them and Duncan's father for dinner. The second thing she heard was the television still droning on, potentially a different movie with the same plotline on. She opened her eyes slowly, a sensation of warmth trapping her. The third thing she felt was pressure on the top of her head. Slowly, Courtney moved her head to see Duncan's slumped figure leaning onto hers, arm still wrapped around. He was still asleep, eyes closed and breathing quietly. He looked as peaceful as she felt, seemingly finding comfort in another.

The living room had two ways to leave. The first was to their right, where Duncan and Courtney first came in. That was the first way to get to the kitchen. The second way was to their left, an arch introducing them to the dining room, where a quaint set was established. A nice, larger table with four seats and two extras sitting closer to the wall. There were plates and silverware already sitting on the table, napkins perched up beside each set for the residents. Courtney realized the lights in the living room were on and so were the ones in the dining room. Thinking about Mrs. Marino walking in on the two of them in this specific position made the young adult's eyes widen and another feeling of embarrassment take over. There was a strong possibility she'd bring it up in conversation during dinner.

The dining room was also where the Christmas tree was located this year, politely hiding in the corner. The themed colors this year were silver and red, the ornaments giving away the color scheme and the presents underneath the tree in silver or red wrapping paper. It was a beautiful tree, not too large or too small for the household. Courtney automatically assumed Mrs. Marino spent the most amount of time working on it, making sure everything was perfectly placed. But, at the memory of last Christmas, she smiled at the image of Duncan fixing it up late at night after everyone else was asleep.

For the second time, Duncan's mother yelled that it was time to eat dinner. The young man next to Courtney moved and shifted his body.

"Duncan, wake up." Courtney spoke. When he didn't respond, she moved her head forward and stood up, leaving him to fall on his side onto the couch. This woke him up, albeit a bit abruptly. He blinked several times before sitting up on his own, unable to catch himself from hitting the furniture.

He looked around, before looking at Courtney's standing figure. He gave her an up-and-down look, not hiding it at all. "What's up Princess?"

She crossed her arms, raising an eyebrow. "Come on, dinner's ready."

"Sweet." He stood up instantly at that statement.

As Duncan was standing, there were footsteps coming from above them and making their way down the stairs, and into the living room. It was Mr. Marino, Duncan's father. It was so incredibly obvious this was where Duncan got his looks from, and his stubborn attitude as well.

The man never seemed to stop working, always looking at files on his computer in the master bedroom when he was home and giving up on keeping Duncan out of trouble a couple of years ago when he was on duty. There were greys starting to poke through his midnight black hair, and he pushed his glasses back up the bridge of his nose before giving Courtney a small smile. "Good evening Courtney, having dinner with us tonight?" He asked.

Mr. Marino was a stern man, the source of Duncan's rebellious nature for all of his teenaged years. They're in a better place at this point, at least speaking to each other. Part of it is because Duncan was still in school and working. There was some indication of maturity his father saw, and started slowly getting better at having conversations with his son without belittling him or demeaning him. Courtney only knew this because the first time it happened Duncan called her and told her about it.

"Yes sir." She answered, rubbing her eyes to wake up a bit more. "Thank you for having me over again, I appreciate it."

He waved her off as he normally did, before looking at his son and giving him a nod and asking him how he was.

Duncan gave him a thumbs up. "S'all good pops. Another day."

The trio walked into the dining room and sat at the table. Courtney sat on one side, Duncan sat across from her, and his father sat to Courtney's right and Duncan's left. This left the final seat for Mrs. Marino, who walked in from the kitchen with a pitcher of water and a bottle of red wine, placing them on the table next to dinner.

For the most part, dinner was composed of Mrs. Marino asking Courtney questions about school and how living with her roommate was going. She complained about Duncan never visiting Courtney, which made Courtney laugh and Duncan groan. Most of Courtney's answers were variations of the truth, omitting any negative comments or thoughts, especially about being back home in Roscoe for a little bit. Mr. Marino was quiet for the most part, focusing on the food on his plate, but did look up when Courtney mentioned taking criminal justice courses this semester and the following one too.

The brunette took everyone's plates and silverware (ignoring Elena's cries of "No honey you don't have to do that you know this!") and placed them in the sink, rinsing them off before putting them in the dishwasher. She had a few glasses of wine with Duncan's mother, giggling at every story that included Duncan getting in trouble as a child.

In the background, she could hear Mrs. Marino complain about having to go into work tomorrow morning, and her husband verbally agreed with her. The clock on the oven read 7:57PM, which meant they would be going to sleep probably in the next couple of hours. The married couple usually working similar shift times, this happening more and more frequently as their children aged. She didn't hear much input from Duncan, but she just assumed he wasn't in the room anymore. Courtney went back to the wine she drank, realizing how she may be a bit buzzed but feeling overall pretty good.

Once Courtney finished placing everything in the dishwasher, she closed it and started it. Then, she wiped her hands clean and returned to the living room from the hallway. The window on the upper part of the front door showed snow was still coming down, and she hoped Trevor made it to his friend's house okay. That was hours ago, though, so she figured he'd be fine.

Her phone was sitting on the couch, screen facing upwards. Duncan was sitting where he was originally, on the edge of the couch. Courtney sat in the middle again, next to him. Grabbing her phone, she unlocked it to no new notifications. She set it down after, realizing she probably wouldn't receive any new notifications until tomorrow.

"Looking for something on there?" She turned her head to Duncan, who was looking at her and her phone.

She shook her head. "Not really, it's not like I have anyone I need to speak to right now." She still felt the buzz of the wine simmering in her stomach, and Courtney smiled at the feeling. "Do you wanna watch a movie?" She asked. "You can choose this time." Courtney patted the side of his left cheek, smiling at him.

He was staring at her again, a bit more focused. A smile curled onto his lips, and he announced. "You're drunk, aren't you."

Courtney rolled her eyes and moved her hand away from him. "I am not drunk, you buffoon. I had like three glasses of wine, give me some credit here."

He laughed at her, before picking up the remote control and scrolling through, until he found some Christmas-themed horror movie on a science fiction network.

"Only you could find and would choose a horror movie during the holiday season." Courtney rolled her eyes. Then she stood up again, leaning down and picking up her bag. "I'm going to change into my pajamas, I'll be right back."

Duncan didn't verbally respond to the announcement, so Courtney made her way upstairs into the bathroom immediately on the right-hand side. Quietly closing the door, she stared at herself in the mirror and thought about why she felt butterflies in her stomach. Pulling her sweater above and off her body, she switched it for a grey long-sleeved shirt. Removing her jeans for fleece black pants, keeping her thick socks on, she zipped her bag back up and left the restroom, turning the light off as she did so.

When she came back downstairs, Duncan had gotten a white blanket from somewhere and turned the lights out in the dining room and living room. His parents had resorted to their bedrooms to get ready for work tomorrow, which left the two of them together.

"This feels like I'm walking into my death sentence." She joked, throwing her bag down next to the couch and sliding underneath the blankets, placing her feet on the couch so her head rested on her knees.

He chuckled, unmuting the movie. "Only if you want it to be." He attempted a scary tone, but all she did was glance at him with a raised eyebrow.

They were nearly touching, but Courtney believed she could feel his body heat radiating through her clothes and onto her skin. This movie was a bit more interesting, though unnecessarily gory. Every time something scary happened, she would comment That wasn't very scary and Duncan would mutter bullshit underneath his breath. There was a jump scare that did catch Courtney by surprise, making her quickly place her feet on the floor and move back more into the couch. That did make Duncan laugh, to which she slapped his chest and tried to enforce she wasn't afraid, just caught by surprise.

It felt with every second they were getting closer and closer, and by the time the movie had ended and the main character had her happy holiday ending Duncan had his arm wrapped around Courtney again and she had one leg propped up on the couch, foot underneath his right leg. As the credits began rolling, Courtney couldn't help but let a yawn out.

"No way the movie was that boring it put you to sleep." He looked down at her, with a humorous tone behind his voice and a raised eyebrow.

She conceded. "It wasn't as boring as the last one -."

Duncan interrupted. "Because you have shit taste."

"-I do not have poor taste!" She argued back, temporarily losing her train of thought. "Anyways, it's just getting late and you know I go to bed early. We've been sitting around all afternoon, I feel really unproductive."

He was quiet for a moment, before grinning. Of all the faces Duncan makes when he thinks or speaks, this one was one of Courtney's least favorite facial expressions. This was Duncan's plotting grin, when he comes up with a terrible idea and thinks he's a genius. Like when he and Courtney watched Carrie senior year of high school and that influenced the troublemaker to pour forty gallons of red paint on their principal and vice principal as one piece of the annual senior prank. There were still so many unanswered questions to how anything in that week was retrieved by Duncan, and the fact he wasn't expelled will forever confuse Courtney to no end.

Courtney pulled away from him, sitting on the other end of the couch. "I don't like that face you're making, so whatever it is your pea-sized brain is plotting I refuse to be included."

"Oh come on Princess. I know you'll like it." He stood up, stretching upward before walking past her and towards the coat rack, where he tied his boots up and placed his coat back on.

She watched him carefully, eyeing the entire process. "Where are you going?"

He didn't answer her, zipping his coat up before putting a hat on and opening the front door, closing it behind him.

For about two minutes (Courtney counted) she waited and sat in silence. He knew her curiosity was eating her alive, and honestly she was hoping he wasn't driving in this weather going to cause trouble elsewhere. He could be such a handful sometimes, it felt like babysitting. So, she caved in and stood up, grabbing her phone and opening the front door to see where he had gone.

The sight made her smile pitifully. Duncan was on the Marino front lawn, trying to piece together a snowman. It looked terrible; none of the shapes were the right size and he didn't even have any materials to make it look like a real snowman.

Duncan turned around at the door opening and smiled, throwing his hands up in the air. "Princess! Are you going to join me?" There were still some flurries falling from the dark night sky, landing on his clothing and his face.

Before he could move any more, she snagged a quick picture of him, watching his face turn from happy to annoyed in a second. She giggled, and closed the door. A couple of minutes later, she reopened the door with her boots and coat on, an extra scarf and hat in her hand.

"Your snowman is terrible to look at. We'll have to start from the beginning." She walked towards him, shaking her head at the recreation of Frosty.

He playfully crossed his arms. "It doesn't look that bad."

The brunette knelt down, packing more snow onto the bottom layer and fixing what Duncan started. He watched her work until the bottom two layers were to her liking. She stood up next to him and wiped her hands free of snow, gleaming at the work she put into it.

"It looks worse." Duncan simply commented.

"It does not!" She retorted. "It looks so much better. Way more even, larger, and it's obvious someone put some real effort into it."

He responded. "Yeah, me."

She turned to face him, about to angrily respond, when she saw he had a smirk on his face. In actuality, it only made her angrier. "Why you little ungrateful, conniving, pie -."

"Alright!" He cut her off again, clapping his bare hands together and chuckling. "Let's finish him up."

Duncan could feel her annoyed disdain glaring at him, which only made him internally laugh more. He was rounding the head of the snowman in silence before Courtney spoke to him again.

The young adult swatted his hands away from the creation, fixing it up herself. "What do you mean, he? It's obviously a girl."

As she threw the scarf around the first and second pieces of snow, Courtney could hear the male mutter curses underneath his breath. She smiled in triumph, placing the hat on top of the snowman and announcing her name was Delilah.

Before she could turn around and see what nonsense Duncan was up to, she felt a wet, cold object hit the back of her neck and the bottom of her hair. Slowly, she turned around to see her friend(ish) holding a snowball in his hand, another one of those evil grins on his face.

In what felt like slow motion, Courtney eyed the snowball, glanced back at Duncan's face, and spun on the heel of her boot, turning and hiding behind Delilah. The snowball flew past Courtney, and she took no time making her own and throwing it where she saw the delinquent last. There were giggles erupting from her as she made another, this time taking pause and listening to hear any footsteps coming in her direction.

At the crunch of a brown boot hitting snow, Courtney turned and immediately fired - hitting Duncan straight in the face. She couldn't help but start laughing as it slowly fell down his reddened face.

The girl laughed so hard crouching behind the snow-woman she lost her balance and fell on her back, exposing herself to any attack he would inevitably hit her with. For a moment though, she didn't care. There was a victorious feeling. Some of the wine may be flowing in her system but she didn't care.

With tears in her eyes, she finally looked up at the victim. He was wiping off the rest of the snow from his face, looking down at her with a smile. "Fine Princess, you got me good." Duncan's voice sounded deeper, like he was finished putting on an act.

He outstretched his arm, putting his hand close enough in her vicinity to grab onto and pull herself up. She did end up grabbing it, using mostly his strength and some of her own to get herself back up. "God Duncan," she giggled through the words, "your hands are freezing."

The other young adult chuckled, readjusting his hands so that they were interlocked with Courtney's. Immediately after this he pulled her in the direction of inside the house. "So are yours, Princess."

Courtney giggled back into the house, squeezing his cold fingers lightly and smiling at the back of his head.

When they went back inside, the duo took their coats and boots off before Duncan wordlessly went back upstairs. Courtney watched him go up before walking into the kitchen and turning on the sink water, letting it fall into a kettle. While she was rummaging through the cabinets looking for hot chocolate packets, Duncan returned with a pair of his sweatpants and a hoodie. He had changed into a black t-shirt and matching dark sweatpants, brown slippers that Courtney bought him for Christmas the year before warming his feet.

She graciously took the clothing and walked up the stairs, changing into the grey set of clothing. The sweatpants hung loosely on her waist but the hoodie hid it well. When she went back down the stairs, Duncan was waiting for her with two cups of hot chocolate in his hands.

"Thanks Duncan." She took one from him, and the two went into the dark living room. They sat right next to each other, thighs touching and shoulders connected.

He passed the television remote to her, quietly claiming it was her turn to pick a show or movie to watch. With one hand, she scrolled through the channels until she stumbles on another Christmas-time horror movie, The Lodge.

Duncan gives her a quick look (mainly of approval - apparently he's already watched this one) as she clicks on it, immediately becoming engrossed in the movie.

The two sip on their drinks ("Duncan, you're slurping too loudly." "Grow up.") and sit in silence for the most part, watching the movie intently. When Courtney realizes they both finished their hot chocolate and their hands and toes are properly warmed back up and away from frostbite, she takes his mug and drops them off in the kitchen sink.

Walking back into the living room, she could tell how tired Duncan was getting based on his eyes. She sat a bit father away from him than before, and he looked at her in confusion. She pointed at her lap, and getting the message, he leaned down so his head fit in her lap.

This wasn't the first time they had been so intimate with each other, Courtney reminded herself and tried to keep her heartrate down.

They continued to watch the movie, or at least Courtney did. It was actually interesting, and not as gory as the last one. She routinely ran her hands through Duncan's hair, lightly scratching different parts of his head. He was so still, Courtney assumed he had fell victim to sleep for the second time today while with her. Despite this, she still felt as safe as she had earlier in the afternoon.

Now didn't feel like the right time to process any feelings she had or deeply break down all of their interactions. For over five years (she'd only admit this in her head), it never felt like the right time. They'd fight, then make up, and the process would continue itself. Courtney was never good at these types of things; it took Duncan blowing up in the middle of one of their arguments before she realized he did - to some extent - care about her. She was so used to keeping interactions to a surface level and twisting every good thing in her life to be an action against her Courtney couldn't tell when she was hurting other people. She's self-centered. She knew that already.

Courtney was a lot of terrible things. Stubborn, annoying, self-centered, egotistical, suspicious, the list could go on and on for pages. There were days she determined she didn't have a single good quality in her bones.

But, Duncan always stuck by her side. There were few things in life Courtney believed she didn't have figured out. Duncan was always at the top of her list. There were so many better people he could spend his time with, so many different ways to better spend his time, yet he chose her over and over again. He would poke fun at her, argue with her, comfort her, and just be himself around her. It didn't make sense. Duncan hides behind his "bad boy" persona all the time, but he really was a good guy. In actuality, he might be one of the most genuine people Courtney has ever come into contact with.

Reaching for her phone as the movie was wrapping up, it flashed 12:01AM. There were only two times Courtney ever stayed away late at night (with the rare exception of a party her roommate could drag her to): to keep studying and to talk to Duncan before she went to sleep.

He groaned in his sleep, waking himself up. All this time he had been facing the television, but he turned to look up at Courtney.

"What's up Princess." He greeted, rubbing his eyes.

She smirked. "Good morning, Ogre."

Duncan glanced at the television, eyeing the credits rolling. "How was the movie?"

"It was good. I actually stayed up and watched the entire thing, unlike some other people."

He chuckled at the accusation, rattling Courtney's bones. "Sorry. Hey, what time is it?"

Her hair kept getting into her line of vision, so she pushed some of it behind her ear. "It's a couple minutes past midnight."

At the sound of that, he smiled. Then, he leaned up and kissed Courtney.

It was quaint, leaving the want for more. His lips were dry, and tasted like tomato sauce; but that was ok. It lasted for just a few moments, more than enough time to surpass a quick peck.

When they parted, she stared at him wide eyes. He laughed at her face.

"Merry Christmas, Courtney."

---

Courtney stared at Duncan, before a smile appeared on her face. "Duncan, you shouldn't have." She spoke softly.

The former delinquent shrugged his shoulders, sitting on her bed with a small box on his lap. His hair was messy as if he had just woken up (he probably did) and he wore a black t-shirt with a pale yellow long-sleeved shirt underneath as a layer. Despite the fact he shrugged his shoulders, his eyes were watching for her reaction.

He picked the present up with one hand before giving it to her. "I wanted to."

She took it with both hands, backpack still hanging on her back. It looked heavy, settled on the lower end of her back. Her cream t-shirt fit nicely on her body, similar to her jeans that hugged her hips. Courtney stared at it, looking at the nicely wrapped paper and bow at the very top of it. Looking at Duncan again, she giggled and smiled. "Your mom helped you wrap this, I assume?"

The groan he let out further proved her point. "Alright, alright it's okay. I'll teach you how to do it next time." She added on, laughing.

Courtney took her backpack off and let it drop on the floor, a loud thud hitting the wooden floors before she walked over and sat down next to Duncan.

"Damn girl, what's in that thing?" Duncan asked, staring at the bag sitting in the middle of the floor.

She glanced at it briefly before going back to the present. "My study guides and LSAT books."

All he could do is raise an eyebrow at the young adult before he too looked at the present. Duncan wiped his hands on his jeans.

Slowly, she began unwrapping the gift. His eyes went back and forth from her facial expressions to the gift, hoping it was still in perfect condition.

It was a photo frame, a solid olive color (one of Courtney's favorite colors of all time). She flipped it over, and inside of the frame was a picture of the two of them. It was from Christmas night - Mrs. Marino bought Courtney and Duncan a matching Christmas pajama set and wanted to take a picture of them in it. It took forever to get Duncan into his, but he finally reluctantly did after seeing and vocalizing how nice Courtney's butt looked in it. The picture in the frame wasn't the original one that his mother took; it was from later in the evening when Courtney and Duncan had fallen asleep on the couch. This time, Courtney's head was in Duncan's lap. Her body was curled up and she had a slight smile on her face, seemingly at peace. Duncan was asleep too. His head was leaning back a little but his mouth was partially open and his right hand was tangled in Courtney's hair, falling asleep while he was massaging her head. It may have been one of the goofiest photos taken of the two of them.

Duncan was smiling at the picture, but blinked back to reality at the sight of water on the frame. He looked confused, before looking up and seeing Courtney sniffling - something he had only seen a handful of times in his life.

"Is it that bad?" He questioned, looking at her concerned. "What's up, babe?"

Courtney wiped her eyes with her left hand, rubbing them hard and sniffling them again. "Sorry." She muttered, leaning her head back so Duncan could see her face past her hair. "It's not a bad gift at all."

He kept staring at her, still confused. "Why are you crying then?"

She answered simply, and with as few words as possible to prevent any more tears from falling. "I've never had someone except my parents buy me a gift before." Courtney took a deep breath. "It's perfect. Thank you, Duncan."

The more time they spent together, the more firsts Courtney had while with Duncan. He knew there was a lot of stuff she had never done before, but this was easily the most emotion she had shown outside of annoyance.

He stood up and crouched down in front of Courtney, so he could getting a better view of her face. She looked at him with glass eyes, frowning but then laughing lightly. "I probably look so stupid right now, I'm sorry."

"Ugh, I only like when you apologize when you've actually done something wrong." Duncan groaned. He rubbed some of the falling tears off of her face with his thumb. "I'm glad you like it though, I figured it could bring some color into this dull-ass room."

When she glared at him, he knew she was going to be fine.

This was the second time Duncan had stayed with her for a weekend. The first time was a bit of a surprise, only a couple of weeks after the new semester started. Courtney was sitting on the living room couch studying when there was a knock on the door. At first, she thought her roommate had ordered food and forgotten to ask Courtney if she wanted anything, so the young adult annoyingly walked and opened the door. Her furrowed eyebrows shot to the beginning of her hairline at the sight of Duncan on the other side of the door. "Delivery." she remembered hearing him say only moments before she jumped as high as she could and embraced him. He grabbed onto the beginning of her thighs to support her before letting one go and wrapping his arm around her.

The second visit was a bit more planned, Duncan visiting the day before Courtney's LSAT exam so they could properly celebrate together. That's how Duncan worded it anyways, since he determined she was going to do well no matter how she felt afterwards. He chose not to ask about it, knowing she would end up complaining about the exam eventually.

After she had sighed enough to stop crying herself a puddle, Duncan stood up and stuffed his hands in his pockets, walking around her room and specifically around her desk to see where she was going to place the photo. When he turned around, it was propped up on her bedside table. He watched her adjust it so it was facing towards her bed. Once she finished she turned and looked at him with a smile he could only define as proud.

"Why there?" He asked. By Courtney logic, she'd put it near or on her desk or in the living room; somewhere that fit aesthetically or logically made the most sense.

A rush of heat rioted towards her neck and her face. She looked away from Duncan as she explained, "So whenever I go to sleep and wake up it's one of the first things I see."

It was disgustingly cute, and uncharacteristically Courtney. Maybe really liking someone genuinely changes people. Duncan couldn't help but smile at the gesture - Courtney would never tell she thought he was going soft, but she'd admit in private he was more delicate than in public. She watched as his converses moved in the direction she was sitting. When she looked up, he leaned down and kissed her forehead.

"God, we're so gross." She commented, standing up and pulling out her phone, opening the camera app and staring at her face to see if any foundation needed to be put on to hide the redness around her eyes.

Duncan laughed in agreement. PDA wasn't really their thing, and it was something they were both navigating together. Courtney could be so difficult sometimes, avoiding it for the sake of her privacy. This happened especially when she was in their hometown; it was only so large, and she did not want to be the topic of rumors from people she went to high school with. Duncan, on the other hand, still believed he had a reputation to uphold. Courtney tried explaining that went away as soon as he graduated high school and started college, but he wouldn't hear from her about it. Plus, in Courtney's mind, she didn't think anyone would believe Duncan if he said he was in a relationship. It was so unheard of for him to be "tied down" despite the amount of girls that had tried over the years.

The two barely held hands when they were out together, though most of the time Duncan would throw an arm over Courtney's shoulders and they'd talk quietly. Behind closed doors, though, was an entirely different story. They could barely keep their hands off each other. Whether Duncan's hand settled on her upper thigh or Courtney's hand ran through his hair and sometimes found its way to the nape of his neck, there was always someone touching the other. They were so comfortable with each other physically, but verbally had been the cause of any arguments that arose.

For one, Courtney couldn't really understand that she liked Duncan and why he liked her. That led to a long conversation the night before she left for school again. And there was still Courtney's wariness of Gwen, which Duncan would dismiss over and over again and tell her to trust me Princess and she really had no other option but to at least try to.

"Are you ready to go?" Duncan asked, taking his hands out of his pocket and standing in front of Courtney.

She put her phone away, trying to rub the slight red where the bags underneath her eyes usually are. "Yep, let's go."

They walked out of her room and Duncan went into the kitchen, grabbing a basket out of the fridge and slamming it shut. Then, he opened it again and grabbed a bottle of wine. Courtney had a blanket in her hand she picked up from the couch and the duo left out.

While walking down her apartment complex stairs she told him, "It's right across the street from here. I think I took you there the last time you visited, just when I was showing you around."

The duo had made a deal. It was the only way to compromise and get Duncan to at least be semi-romantic (though she hoped in the future he would just do it anyway). So, they each got to pick something they'd do together while Duncan was visiting this weekend.

Courtney's choice was safe, romantic, and a great way to spend quality time together - so she decided they'd do a picnic. It was beautiful outside, which made her feel more confident in her choice. Unfortunately, Duncan chose that they would go to a party, and that it had to be a "Cool party" or else it didn't count. Neither of them were twenty-one, which meant Courtney had to talk to her roommate about the arrangement. Lucky for Courtney, her roommate was planning on bringing them along with her to a house party - the same one from Halloween.

When Courtney and Duncan walked outside, the sky was almost as blue as Duncan's eyes. There was a slight breeze, and the trees were nearly done re-growing their leaves from the torturous winter.

Spring may be Courtney's favorite season. There was a peace of mind, an ability to reset and start over. Green was the color of success, and that was the staple color of this season. But, it's been so much more meaningful recently. There was a breeze that washed over one's face, cooling the face from overheating in the winter. Everything came back to life.

The birds were harmonizing again. People were outside, speaking to each other again. A cyclical reminder to take a step back and look at the bigger picture. Everything would be okay. Time changes; there will be sweltering, unbearable heats and dips into the valleys of suffocating, cold airs. But it would all eventually restart.

As the duo sat on the blanket and Duncan poured the two of them a glass of wine each, Courtney knew this was exactly where she was supposed to be. They had always been there for each other, no matter how hot or cold they treated each other. Duncan would go throwing rocks at her window and Courtney would sit with him by the bleachers at lunch time while he smoked a cigarette, but they never gave up on each other. This specific type of security and trust is probably what made the other shoe drop - what really started making Courtney fall for him.

He was disgusting, a (formal) criminal, sleezy, stubborn, never serious, a handful, and a long long laundry list of other negative traits. But he was Duncan; he was her disgusting stubborn handful of a man child. And she liked that.

And in no way was she an angel - she could acknowledge that sometimes. But he was patient with her too, fighting with her until Courtney could understand it from his perspective. And she would do the same. A long time, about two weeks before she left for her first semester at college, they got into a huge fight. A lot of it was over Duncan's future and Courtney disregarding his feelings. She could remember yelling at him, pointing at herself with tears in her eyes. "Don't you understand Duncan," she had started the statement, "I believe in you! No one else in this fucking town will hear me, but you're a good guy! I know you can do anything you put your damn mind to, OK. I know I don't say it all the time, but I really do!" She had barely reached that level of frustration before in her life. And he didn't respond verbally, but she remembered seeing those glassy, beautiful blue eyes staring at her wordless. When she embraced him immediately after, Courtney could hear him hiccupping but kept quiet, rubbing his back and ignoring the tears in her own eyes. He needed someone.

Maybe one day she'd admit it, but she needed someone too.

"Duncan." She called, after finishing a bowl of fruit.

He was looking up at the sky, seemingly lost in his thoughts too. "Yeah?" He asked, taking a swig of the wine from the bottle (smirking at an annoyed look Courtney made).

She thought about scolding him, but chose not to. "What're you thinking about?"

He leaned back until he was laying on the blanket. "When we first became friends. Back right before junior year. Do you remember that?"

Of course she did. Courtney had just gotten into a fight with her mom over going away for camp again. She just wanted to be normal, like everyone else who hung out over the summer and became friends. Never had Courtney been awarded that opportunity at that point in her life; there was never a break for her. It all came crashing down one afternoon while she was home and she ran off, blanketing it with the 'I'm going on a jog' statement.

She'd never define it as a breakdown - though it wasn't the first time all the pressure and restrictions made her emotions bubble over and Courtney imploded. But she had started jogging and soon the jogging turned into running and she wasn't really thinking but soon she couldn't breathe and somewhere along the way Courtney couldn't remember how to run or walk so her legs gave in like jelly and her heart felt like it could explode at any moment and she wasn't sure if it was from the running or the anxiety. She couldn't tell if the world was spinning or if she was crying and her hand was trembling but maybe her eyesight was off and all Courtney could feel was stress. Absolute and pure worry overtook her, and she kept feeling her face but she wasn't sure why. Most of this experience felt like a hallucination, like she was seeing things.

All of this, of course, happened outside of Duncan's house. Duncan and his mom were walking out the door when they saw the young teenager sitting on the pavement, looking lost and as if her reality was disrupted. At first, Duncan wanted to laugh at the spectacle, thinking about recording it so he could watch it over and over again and send it around. But his smile dropped immediately when he realized it wasn't an act and there was something wrong with the girl in front of his house. His mom immediately yelled at him to bring her in the house, calling out her name to see if she was okay or needed help. Her questions went into deaf ears as Courtney was overtaken by emotion.

Duncan stared at her and gave her water and sat across from her and she gathered her thoughts. When she finally came to, she looked at him in shock, and blinked out of pure confusion. Then, she stood up and began to walk out of the home.

"Whoa whoa whoa." The delinquent blocked the doorway.

She crossed her arms. "What are you, kidnapping me? Let me out of here this instant Ogre."

His mouth dropped. "Are you fucking with me? You were literally out of your mind two seconds ago and now you're ready to leave? You're a psychopath. At least give me and my Ma an explanation."

Courtney knew exactly how she was feeling. It was the worst feeling she'd ever have in her life, and honestly she didn't want anyone to feel it - not even the delinquent for that manner. She sighed. "Sorry, I really appreciate it."

The raised voices led Duncan's mother to the duo at the door, who ambushed Courtney with question after question about how she felt and if she wanted to stay for dinner and if she was really okay. Once the questioning was done, Mrs. Marino decided she would drive Courtney home, and ordered Duncan to accompany them.

The car ride was dead silent. Duncan didn't even ask to turn the radio on. His mom already knew how to get to Courtney's house, so she didn't need directions from the teenager. Courtney was silent, and looking out the window. Duncan kept glancing at her, thoughts absolutely swirling in his mind nonstop.

When they drove up Courtney's block and stopped outside her home, she politely thanked both of them and apologized for any trouble she had caused. She sounded nervous as she spoke, and before anyone could ask questions she stepped out and walked up and into her house, not looking back as she closed the door.

That was Duncan's first interaction with who Courtney really was. His mom explained to him plain and simple who her parents were, and how for years she watched the stress weigh the poor girl down. How she was an only child, no pets allowed, and even the time they thought her room smelled like cigarette smoke so Courtney's mother brought her down to the station to get a lie detector test done. Then she told Duncan people can have all the money in the world but still be unhappy, and that would get passed down to everyone else. Mrs. Marino left the conversation at "I know she isn't your favorite person in the world, Duncan, but keep an eye out for her, ok?"

It was the first time either one of them saw the life they were living. Courtney remembered thinking how kind and warm Duncan's mom was, and how their home smelled like how a home full of love should and seeing all the pictures hanging on the walls. Duncan thought of how she wasn't Little Miss Perfect but was forced into a role she felt no enjoyment in.

"Yes, Duncan." Courtney finally spoke. "Of course I remember that. What's making you think of it?"

She moved the basket and the wine to the other side of the blanket, and laid on her stomach next to him, watching his face.

He continued. "I know that was like, a shitty time for you. But I'm glad it happened outside my house. Cause who knows where we'd be had Ma not forced me to bring you in and help calm you down and drive you home." Duncan tilted his head in the direction of Courtney. "You could've just ignored me and all my texts for the rest of the summer, but you didn't. I don't think I ever thanked you for that. That's all."

"I should be thanking you." She argued. "You reached out to me and made an effort. No one had really done that before. I know I didn't sound like it, but I was disappointed in myself for showing weakness. I was trying to bypass it and move on, but you're so damn stubborn." They both chuckled at that. "Thanks for never giving up on me."

Courtney leaned in, and Duncan followed her lead, meeting her halfway. Sometimes, Courtney never wanted to let go of him.

They spent a couple more hours outside, talking and trying to get comfortable lowering their guards. Duncan kept rubbing his hand up-and-down Courtney's leg and she was a silly drunk, letting him and telling didn't poorly timed jokes. He still laughed at them anyway, because they were stupid. The wine bottle was long gone, Duncan drinking more than the other young adult but feeling the effects of it. He really wasn't a wine kind of guy, but this was Courtney's choice.

The sun was setting by the time they packed everything up and retreated back inside to Courtney's apartment. The blanket and empty wine bottle and emptier basket was thrown on the couch with no regard for pattern, and the male young adult went into the kitchen to grab another bottle of wine as the two retreated into Courtney's bedroom.

Courtney and Duncan didn't finish the second bottle of wine. Partially finished, it sat on her dresser and the two of them in Courtney's bed. She was straddling his lap, arms wrapped around his neck. Duncan's hands were settled at the arch of her lower back, thumbs going in circles on bare caramel skin. The sunlight broke through curtains, decorating the room in gold and making Courtney's skin glisten.

Duncan was staring at her, before kissing her lips; she had just licked them right before. "You're so pretty, Princess." His voice felt heavy, husky, and raw. He looked at her again, and she ran a hand through his hair. "Fuck."

This time Courtney came and met his lips delicately, before breaking apart and going in again. It went from romantic and fluffy to messy and desperate, like they would never see each other again. When she grinded on the top of his jeans from her position, the friction almost made Duncan lose it.

Clothes were thrown in different locations - shirts and jeans and underwear and socks. Silky hair was pushed back and tangled hair was pushed through. The power dynamic was never defined, and was thoroughly tested as the two went back and forth to decide who would be in control. They'd play it off as teasing, like when Courtney pushed Duncan back into the bed and she held her own hair back. Or when Duncan carefully wrapped his hand around her neck, coaxing her with how good she was doing. The two made sure the other was properly pleasured - they knew if there was any way to communicate in their relationship, it was going to be physically. And they made sure to let the other know that.

Once Courtney's roommate came home, the apartment was filled with silence. Obliviously, she took a shower and completed her makeup and got dressed, deciding the two were still out late and sent Courtney the address if they decided to stop by later in the night.

In reality, the two were fast asleep. Duncan was laying on his back, shirtless and arm wrapped around his girlfriend, who's head was settled on his torso and a leg wrapped around his. Her arm stretched across Duncan's chest. There was no way they were making it to the party tonight - they probably both knew that. An absolute tangled mess, strung together to make perfect sense to those that paid close attention.

The changes were gradual, loosely connected by interactions played off by distasteful arguments. All it really took was a simple accident, an interaction to change the course of their time together. A different look at the other person.

And that was okay; sometimes the best things come to those who wait. A peek into the beauty of patience, understanding things took time. The cold reminded someone of how warm the other made them feel; the heat was a reminder of who it was that could cool them down. Duncan and Courtney were seasonal - they dealt with long periods of droughts and their fights would lead to torrential downpours but they always cycled back to the normal, to the familiarity of each other. There was no one else in the world that could find that final puzzle piece to see the bigger picture. No one else would put in the effort to remind the other that they did matter and they were appreciated and loved, nor could someone find the best way to communicate that.

In the morning, they would have each other. No matter the season or the amount of clouds in the sky, they were each other's sun. And for now, that's all they needed.

---

hope you liked my little one-shot :) this was so fun to write and a nice mini-break from my other stories (don't worry, school has been very busy but expect an update for those by the end of the year). hope you all enjoyed this, until next time! xx