Ramona is the worst wingwoman

-December 1995-

Ramonawasn't sure of much but she definitely knew that she could not spend Christmas at her parents' house that year. The letter from her father was proof that they were tangled up with the Death Eaters and she couldn't risk them trying to get her involved too because one could not simply leave the Death Eaters and live to tell the tale, that just wasn't how things worked. So, she wrote to Regina, begging her to let her spend the break with her instead of having to wallow in the castle with Umbridge and generally just having a miserable Christmas. Finally, after a week, Bacon returned with her reply.

Mona,
Are you mental? Of course I'd love you to spend Christmas with me! It's about time, I've only been waiting for you to ask for the last three years. I will warn you that my apartment is tiny and you will be sleeping on the couch and also you won't be allowed to leave on your own, Knockturn Alley is full of shady people who know how to cover up a murder very well. Also, don't be expecting a Christmas feast or anything, if you're lucky we might be able to get muggle takeout or something if they're open. If not, you'll have to risk food poisoning from my attempts of cooking.
Love you,
Gina.

Ramona couldn't help but grin at the idea of having Christmas with Regina again. Christmases with the Burke's tended to be spent on her own while her parents made the circuit of parties and dinners which they hadn't brought her to in many years, afraid she'd say something that would get them in trouble. However, it was infinitely worse when distant relatives came for Christmas. Her mother's family were fine, if a bit elitist, they always gave great gifts and had revolutionary tips on ways to further your career but her father's family were...odd to say the least.

For starters, there was her uncle Alexander who had become a total social recluse, driven half-mad after a stint in Azkaban for reasons nobody seemed to want to tell her, and then there was her grandmother, who hadn't spoken in thirty years and had no less than twenty-two house elves despite her living on her own. Now that she thought about it that side of the family seemed to have a shady background with House Elves. The worst of all of them, however, was her father's younger sister, she believed quite staunchly in the idea that children (especially those with conflicting opinions to her own) should be neither seen nor heard, hence, whenever her and Ramona were in the same room, things tended to get messy.

"Are you going to Draco's Christmas party?" said Pansy excitedly one evening in the common room, having forgiven Ramona for whatever reason she was mad about before. "We'll have the house to ourselves because his parents are going out for a few days so it'll be brilliant."

"No," said Ramona casually, "I'm spending Christmas with Gina."

"Your sister?" Pansy's lip curled slightly, Regina had left a bit of a stain on Slytherin's reputation when she'd been at school.

"Yeah, it's been a while and my parents are pissed at me at the moment," Ramona stared into the dying fire. "Don't try to say they're in the right, I'm not in the mood tonight."

Pansy frowned. "Fine, they're just worried about you though, so are we...Mona...think about the long-term consequences for your actions, openly supporting Mudbloods and-"

Ramona stuck her fingers in her ears and began to hum as loudly and obnoxiously as she could, childish though effective; she'd just have to wait for Pansy to give up.

"You could-"

Ramona added lyrics to her not-so-harmonious tune. "Ignoring Pansy because she's full of shit."

"Mona-"

"Bigotry sucks, discrimination sucks, burn the Ministryyyyy."

Pansy rolled her eyes and got out of her armchair in a huff, hastily stuffing all her homework into her bag. "Fine I'm sorry for bothering you with my friendship and concern!"

"Goodnight!"

Ramona was much earlier to the last DA meeting before Christmas break than she normally was, Delilah having passed out from eating far too many sticky toffee puddings at dinner, and she was surprised to find the room fully decorated with bright tinsel and garlands. Potter was in there alone, tearing down strings of golden baubles with his own face reading 'Have a Very Harry Christmas'. He looked down at her evil grin in dread and said lowly: "Please don't tell anyone about these."

"I think they're lovely, very festive and with a personal touch," she laughed, picking up one string from the pile of the floor, baubles clanking against each other as she did so. "Do you mind if I keep some? As a Christmas present?"

He gave her a withering look but sighed. "Fine, I wasn't going to do anything with them."

"Brill, these'll be worth a fortune in twenty years, limited edition Harry Potter Christmas decorations, one of a kind..."

"That reminds me," he hopped off the step stool and jogged over to his bag in the corner and dug around for a few minutes, finally pulling out an odd little trinket and placing it in her palm, "your Christmas gift."

It looked a bit like a troll's attempt at making a crystal ball, looking more like a crystal egg but it was it filled with fog, it was clear and inside looked to be thin little wires. As she tapped it with a nail she found it wasnt crystal either, it was very thin glass.

"What is it?" she turned it around before holding it up to her eye to peer at the wires inside, also magnifying Potter's face before her, elliciting a small snort.

"A muggle lightbulb," he said. "The Dursley's gave it to me for Christmas but I've got no use for it and I know you like Muggle stuff...it's not much but I thought you'd like it..."

She'd heard about lightbulbs in Muggle Studies, how they were used to supply their houses with light and how they ran on electricity but she'd never seen one in real life, only pictures. She thought it was all quite genius. For some reason, this little object, useless to her, made the back of her eyes sting.

"This is..." Ramona trailed off, trying to blink back her tears. "This is...thank you, Potter."

Awkwardly and quite stiffly, Ramona wrapped her arms around him and actually hugged him. She could hear a mini Delilah in her head screaming bloody murder. "Sorry I didn't get you anything..."

"It's a lightbulb, Burke, hardly anything spectacular," he hugged back, patting her gingerly as if he'd never hugged anyone before.

"Shut up, I like it," she sniffed and drew away, carefully stowing it into her bag.

Soon the room started filling up with the other DA members, many stopping to comment on the decorations. Cho came with Marietta at her side, hair done in an elaborate braid but her eyes looked bloodshot and tired. Nonetheless, she smiled at Ramona before turning to gaze dreamily at Potter while Marietta rolled her eyes, descending into an even worse mood than usual.

"Okay," Potter called loudly once they were all there. "I thought this evening we should just go over the things we've done so far, because it's the last meeting before the holidays and there's no point starting anything new right before a three-week break-"

"We're not doing anything new?" Zacharias Smith whispered loudly enough for everyone to hear, to nobody's surprise. "If I'd known that I wouldn't have come."

"We're all really sorry Harry didn't tell you, then," said one of the Weasley twins loudly (she still couldn't tell which was which).

"We can practice in pairs," said Potter (Ramona and Neville caught each other's eyes and smiled). "We'll start with the Impediment Jinx, for ten minutes then we can get out the cushions and try Stunning again."

The room divided up into their usual pairs while Potter walked amongst them, observing and walking past Cho far too many times to just be a coincidence. Neville's improvement was nothing short of incredible, he'd managed to freeze her almost every time, except once when his spell had actually hit Potter while he walked behind her. She told him so as they brought out the cushions to practice Stunning.

His wand fell through his fingers as she relayed her thoughts to him. "You really think so?"

"Yeah," she bent down to pick it up and hand it back to him, "it's terrifying how much you can improve with a competent teacher, just goes to show that it's not you that's the gormless lump."

"Thanks, but I'm still not as good as everybody else," he said lowly.

Ramona scoffed. "I'm sorry did you not see Smith's own spell backfiring on him not five minutes ago? Or Bones chip her own tooth?"

He let out a short-lived laugh. "Thanks Burke."

The Stunning spells went even better, though Neville had missed her once or twice (his wand had a tendency to do that) and before they knew it, the hour was up and they had to head back to their dormitories. It felt kind of sad that they wouldn't be meeting for another three weeks but the prospect of Christmas and Potter's promise of teaching them Patronuses helped a bit to ease this.

People left in their staggered groups, wishing each other Happy Christmases and saying goodbye while Potter tidied up the cushions in a suspicious slow manner, as if he was stalling, insisting on doing it himself. Ramona checked her bag to make sure her lightbulb was safe before leaving but when she went to say goodbye to Cho she noticed her arguing in low tones with Marietta. They were some of the only people left at that point and nobody else seemed to spot this.

"Just go on without me," Cho was insisting.

"I don't want to go back on my own!"

"Please, Mari, I just want to wish Harry a Happy Christmas."

Marietta scoffed loudly. "You could do that now, Cho."

"Ow!" Ramona threw herself dramatically onto the floor, careful not to land on her bag in the process. "Somebody help me-not you Potter-anybody, help me!"

Cho rushed over to her side and bent down. "Do you need to go to the Hospital Wing, Mona?"

"Yes!"

"Go on, Marietta, I'll bring her up."

"Goodbye, Marietta," Ramona forced trying to convey the hint through eyebrow movements alone as she was supposed to be in a great deal of pain.

Marietta sniffed and tossed her curls before stomping off, leaving only Ramona, Cho and Potter in the room. Once she was sure Marietta was gone, Ramona sat up and gathered her things. "How weird, I feel completely fine now so I suppose I'll just go, is that mistletoe? Merry Christmas you two!"

And with that, Ramona fled from the room as if she was aflame, barely fighting off a satisfactory grin as she silently congratulated herself on her superb wing-woman skills.

Cho sat across from Ramona as they sped past fields and hills blanketed in white snow towards London, dabbing at her eyes and cheeks every few seconds as she retold the events of last night after she'd left her and Potter alone. Marietta was wedged in the corner, not quite scowling but not looking particularly pleased about any of this either.

"And I-I couldn't stop myse-myself," she said between little hiccoughs, "I k-kissed him."

"That's brilliant, Cho," Ramona squeezed her hand, "you've been wanting to do that for months now and you were under mistletoe and everything! It's so romantic!"

She only sobbed harder. "B-but I wa-was cry-crying!"

"I'm sure Potter understands," she moved so that she was sitting next to Cho, an arm over her shaking shoulders, "he knows himself how much you're suffering and I'd hope he'll understand that you're a bit confused, he's not a complete idiot."

"What i-if I r-ruined it? I think h-he's avoiding me..."

Ramona shot Marietta a pleading look, to help in the way Cho always claimed she did, to not be an asshole for ten minutes.

"If Harry can't get over a few tears, he's not worth your time," she said heatedly.

Cho sighed. "I th-thought he really liked me."

"He does," Ramona said, "he's just a dumb little nerd and doesn't know what to do."

"He doesn't know what t0 do?" Cho dabbed at her cheeks. "But he's fought You-Know-Who so many times and he's really taken charge this year and then last year at the Tournament! Not to mention the fact that he was the youngest Seeker in a century and how funny and sweet he is...I can't imagine a world in which Harry Potter doesn't know how to ask me out."

"Did you not hear the part where I said he's a dumb little nerd?"

Regina wasn't hard to spot amongst the din of Platform Nine and Three-Quarters, having pushed all the way to the front of the crowd and holding a massive homemade banner which read 'WELCOME HOME MONA' with a poorly-drawn illustration of Ramona's face. Normally, she might have been embarrassed by this display but any twinge of mortification was overwritten by her excitement to spend Christmas with Regina for the first time since she was twelve.

Her sister hadn't changed much since she last saw her in October, if a bit more tired and worn, curls frizzy and tangled but her smile was just as bright and twice as infectious. When Regina caught sight of her she let out a shrill squeal and bounced happily on the spot.

Ramona dropped her trunk and Bacon's cage (which sent him into a frenzy) and caught her sister around the middle, holding her close and not really wanting to let go. They'd always been close but now that she knew for sure that she was cutting herself off from her parents, Regina was the only family she had left and for some reason that thought made something inside her twinge and want to hold on tighter. Finally, they broke apart with identical grins and Ramona took up her trunk and cage, giving a hushed apology to Bacon.

"So," Regina said, helping her with their bags as they pushed their way to the exit, "what's the sca? Any breakups? Any fights? Any more detentions?"

Ramona thought of all that had happened since the start of September, or rather everything that had changed and her head started to ache. "Nothing I haven't told you already besides an update on the Cho and Potter situation, I'll fill you in on that over dinner."

"Speaking of dinner, you want Chinese or pizza?"

"I'm thinking Chinese for tonight."

They made their way to the magical door through to the Muggle train station, which would be bustling as ever with Muggles in their funny clothes, talking in their weird little bricks, but just before hey we're about to cross the barrier, Ramona spotted Neville Longbottom standing before a severe-looking woman who was trying to straighten his hair, his face burning red. She thought for a second about saying goodbye, wishing him another Merry Christmas but embarrassing him even further didn't seem like much fun anymore so she grasped her sister by the arm and slipped silently through the barrier of Platform Nine and Three-Quarters.