SBIGlets
Chapter 9: Intermission 2: The Weird Avatar Group
Beginning AN:
Yeah I seriously rushed this and for the longest time had no idea what to put here.
This is primarily a fanfic of: Avatar: The Last Airbender
It was a fairly boring day on the leadup to the Breaking Bad finale. Meth was still illegal so anyone who cooked it to celebrate for the finale was arested, which sucked. Why is it okay to cook mass DEATH like beef but not okay to cook meth? More people who have eaten beef will die than those that eat meth. It's is hypocrisy.
So anyway I have like no idea at all about what to make the Second Intermission About. (SIA, remember that acronym.) Uh... I'll make it about another 'dealer.'
The Cabbage Guy from Avatar.
Now, fair warning, this story was written really fast so it will suck ass. But hey, I need something to wait over for the Intermission since there was an Intermision before and I want the Walking Meth trology (or should it be a pentigy because there's technically five chapters? And yeah the first Intermission was part of it so obviously the second would logically) to be symmetrical.
So this is the hidden story of the Cabbage Guy also being a part of not just the vegetable trade, but the drug trade.
And those cop guys from Korra thought it was enough problem when they thought he was an Equalist, LOL!
...
Hm.
Right, um...
So we'll start on the first time he lost his cabbages, sadly.
Everything changed when the Earth Kingdom attacked.
His cabbage cart. In Omashu, that is. That's the mountain city with all the slides and the weird king that talks in rhyme.
But anyway, he wanted revenge, and that's where this story starts off.
So in this AU he wandered until he made it to the Foggy Swamp. Not to be confused wiht Boggy Swamp, that's a Jak and Daxter level.
"Hey man I'll tell you what like you need some dang ol' spiritual stuff man, like dang ol' why not join my and whatnot?" Said one of the Vine Hillbillies.
"Okay what do you have? Wait, this is a sawamp. Can I grow cabbages here?"
I actually don't know the answer to that question because I don't see any point in researching how vegetables grow. I mean a lot of shows don't really put that much effort in to doing research of things so I assume Avatar didn't either. Just an assumption.
"Hey dang ol' man what you grow, what we grow, it's all the same man."
"Yeah man!" Also the hippies! Book 2 introduced a lot of fun side-characers like the singing hippies in the cave episode and the hillbillies in the swamp episode. I ship those two. "Wanna come on a magic journey with us! We heard about, like, connections man, and stuff!"
"Who the dang 'ell are you?" Asked Swamp Hillbilly Man. Huu I think his name was, the guy who could plantbend. It's like metalbending for water. Except that's bloodbending. So it isn't.
"Well man, I'm just a nomad." Hippie. "I'm just, like, going with the flow and tryng to be with the wind. I also sing. So, I travelled to this swamp by accident. I don't know how I got here."
"I'm a Boggy Swamp man! The name's Huu!"
"I'm Chong. Nice underwear, man, I had one like that-"
"I mean dang man if you wanna get technical like this it's dang ol' like outerwear, man, like there's some complexity in it."
"Whatever."
"Man, pants aren't real. Pants are dead and skirts have no meaning. Underwear is upside down and all that!"
"Yeah okay can we form a team against Team Avatar?"
"Okay."
Meanwhile, Zuko.
"I AM GOING TO CAPTURE THE AVATAR!" He shouted.
"NOT IF I CAPTURE HIM FIRST!" Shouted Zhao, who had snuck up on his ship!
"What are you doing here." He asked.
"It is all part of my plan to Capture the Avatar and turn in to Zhao the Moonslayer! We are-"
Then Zuko threw a firebend at him and sent him flying out the bedroom window porthole thing. At least I think that's how ships work.
"Oh, Zuko, did Zhao invite himself again?" Asked Iroh. (Best.)
"I don't want to talk about it."
Zuko then had a bad flashback of Zhao going "AHHHH!" as he flew out the window. He cringed at it, like a war flashback.
"Don't worry, Zuko. Find the light within yourself-"
"Yeah yeah I know light shines the flashlight of justice on darkness. But the thing is, darkness isn't afraid of the light it's more like 'A-ha! Light! I can conquer it!'"
"...Zuko, I don't think you understand."
"Yeah well I don't."
He then saw Omashu.
"Oh I think the Avatar is there."
He saw Aang and the Gaang flying through the air on those stone block things.
"Ok they are."
Zuko had also snuck off from Iroh, a fucking stupid decision because Iroh's the best, trust his wisdom. (At least not when he was a general for the Fire Nation because back then he was like on the Naziish side of the Fire Nation but then his son died and he turned good.)
"AVATAR!" Zuko cried. "I'M HERE TO CAPTURE YOU!"
Then he got a cabbage thrown at him.
Wait a minute. The merchant went all the way over to the swamp and got those friends while Aang and the wartner siblings were still in Omashu...
Uh wait let's say this was during the tests and he heard Bumi's loud fight and Bumi was shouting "OKAY AVATAR LET'S SEE WHAT YOUGOT," there that seems like a reasonable amount of time to pass.
Zuko looked and saw the Cabbage Merchant, the Plantbender Huu, and the Hippie guy. Whas his name Chong? Cheech?
"WHAT ARE YOU HERE FOR?!" Zuko asked.
"REVENGE AGAINST THE AVATAR FOR RUINING MY CABBAGES!"
"Well I'm capturing him!"
"Wanna team up?"
Zuko looked and the hippie was smoking pot.
"Ew no I'm not that desperate. I'm just homeless and kicked out of my country I'm not starving to death or anything."
(Flash-Forward to Zuko Along)
Zuko's stomach rumbled.
"GOD DAMMIT!" He shouted. "I MAADE THE WRONG CHOICE AGAIN! WHY DO I KEEP DOING THAT?"
So instead the Trio - Cabbage, Hippy, and edneck - encountered Aang at once.
"WE ARE HERE TO FIGHT YOU!" Shouted the Cabbage Merchant.
"No." Aang said.
And then the Merchant was disappointed!
...
Okay I think that's enough to say that was the Intermission it's time for the BREAKING BAD FINALE!
Closing AN:
Fair warning: I wanted both this and Walking Meth 3 out before New Years so... I really didn't read this over.