Chapter 3

Fred sat on the edge of Gunn's bed. She looked at the photo of her, Gunn, and Wesley on the far wall for about thirty minutes, and then she crawled into the bed and laid her head on the pillow. She had her shoes off and watched Gunn as he slept. It was around six o'clock in the evening, and within an hour, she'd become Illyria.

Gun looked up at her for a moment and smiled. "You, Illyria, and I have raised Debra right. I didn't have a right to ask you to do that." He paused for a moment, and then said, "I watched how you looked up at Wesley. I know you miss him. We all do."

"I don't know where you're going with this," she said with a look of sadness on her face. "Yeah. I miss Wesley, Angel, Loryn, and Spike. But I've passed that now. Debra's our daughter. I've been to all the school meetings about her, helped her with her assignments, and taught her how to wear her makeup." She paused for a moment. "I'd do it again and again. I have no regrets about that."

He smiled for a moment. Fred had a few gray hairs mixed in with her auburn hair, and then he asked, "There was a time when I wanted to spend my entire life with you. I dreamed of us living in a nice neighborhood, a white picket fence, and at least three kids." He laughed. "It's funny how I have you in my bed, but it's nothing like I wanted." He placed his back to the headboard, and the sheet fell around his waist. "You've been my wife without being my wife. I've loved you so deeply. I sacrificed our love to save you from killing a man. I bear that choice every day."

"I made choices too," she said. "When you killed Seidel, something inside of me changed. I didn't want to be around you for some reason. By the time I worked through my feelings on that incident, it was too late. You had moved on to other women."

Charles placed the back of his left hand on her left cheek, and as he moved his hand about her face, he realized she had morphed into Illyria. "What happened to Fred?" He asked.

"She's crying, and wanted to be by herself for a while," she said. "Please quit stirring up all her emotions because I feel them. It's like I'm being beaten for something I didn't do."

"Tell me something?" He asked. She turned towards him and didn't smile at all. It was hard to find a smile in her, and that was okay with him.

"What?" She said.

"Do you love me?" He asked calmly. Charles grappled with asking the question for years but feared to do so. Illyria hopped out of the bed, crossed her arms, and paced the floor for about ten minutes before she said anything. He patiently waited for an answer because he knew when she ruminated, her answer would be true.

She looked at him as she stood in front of the bed. Her serious visage meant she had come to a conclusion and was now ready to give Gunn her answer. She said, "If you died, I would tear a hole in time to bring you back." She paused for a moment, sat on the edge of the bed, and then said, "Your vampirism is a blessing to me. I don't worry about you growing old and dying."

"But do you love me?" He asked.

"Yes," she said. "I think it's obvious." She smirked "Once you moved past the blood for sex depositories, I thought we were family at that point. You needed a moment to feed like a vampire and have sex like a libertine. It was your right as a creature of the night."

"Fred didn't think so," he said. "She hated me until we brought Debra home."

"Fred and I hated the fact you belittle yourself because you allowed weak beings to fetishize you," she snapped. "Make no mistake about that. You neglected all your duties and promises to feed in those depositories, forming sex relations with some of the nastiest beings on the planet, and acting like those relationships mattered."

"You introduced me to them," he said with a grimace.

"Just as a quick fix," she said, "But you acted like the pig's blood wasn't good enough."

"You stayed with me through the rough years," he said softly. "Why?"

"At first, I just wanted to make sure you were going to make it as a vampire," she said calmly. "Fred and I both thought staying around was a good idea." She paused for a moment. "Then, I desired your company, and I knew I loved you in spite of your insatiable need for blood and sex."

Charles slid out of the nice, King Sized bed, walked over to Illyria and hugged her. "I would've been lost without you." She placed her head on his chiseled chest, and then he felt the warmth of her body. "Thank you, Illyria. And if Fred is listening, thank you too."

"You're welcome," Illyria and Fred said in harmony.