Chapter 8: Joey Rooney 80s swag

A/N Happy thansgiving u guys!! Special shout out to rooneyrific3000 especially this year you are the only thing i am to be thankful for. I have to ask the thanksgiving gods today to curse bella for stealing my notebook that had a college of Joey on it with the words mrs joey rooney all over the inside of the front cover. She took it and tried flushing it down the toilet, but i stole it back from her and i tried blowing it off with the blow dryers in the bathroom but it was till ruined. Jokes on her i took off my mask and coughed al over it before she stole it so now she probably has coronavirus.

Anyway whatever. I was thinking if it would be awesome to have a joey rooney funko pop? What do u guys think? Anyway thanks and plz remember to like and comment seriously commenting makes me very inspired to keep writing, thanks a ton!!!

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Continuing on my quest, I'm about to make my journey to leap into the future! I begin to run across the abandoned wwii battle ground as fast as i can! Hyper warp speed engaged. I soon begin to run so quickly the field becomes less than a blur, i cant even see my surroundings. According to my calculations I should run over just over 15 seconds at 9 million miles per hour in order to--

Ouch I tripped over something and fell flat on my face. I was so dazed and dizzy because it felt like i ran right into a iron bar. Yowch! I stood up and had a huge head ache my head was spinning. I looked up and realized I ran straight into brick wall. On the brick wall was a poster that says "et out now!!" call me crazy but I'm pretty sure that ET didn't come out in 2021.

I looked up and down the sidewalk. my palms was on the cold pavement. there was cigarrette buts all over the place. the whole city smelled like smoke and the sounds on synth music played through the air. I turned my head around and saw a guy with really huge hair moon walking down the street. holy crap could i bee in a cooler time period than the 80s??

I stood up and looked around. I was upset that I didn't make it back to my own time period, but i was amazed that i could be in the 80s. Some dude and his gf walked past and he was wearing acid wash jeans and she was wearing leg warmers. Awesome!!

I immediately went into a close by store to find a map to the nearest mall. i went to a bus stop and waited. some dude in a denim jacket and really cool hair was leaning on the bus post, smoking a cigarrette. I watched as he took one last smoke and then flicked it out into the street.

His hair was brushed up really high on his head, like he was a guy peacock tryinn to attract the ladies. i got to get in on this action like this dude. he saw me looking at him and he flashed a devilish smile at me.

"Hey point dexter," he said to me and he walked towards me.

"Hi," i say to him. I looked down at my shoes nerviously.

"What r u doing this far away from the nerd store, geek?" He closed me in while i was backed up against the wall of tha convenience store.

I felt instimated by the prescence of this aplha male. my imediate instinct: flight.

The collar of my shirt was bunched up in his hands.

"Look, a football!!" I pointed at something behind him

He turned right away.

i tried to make a break for it, but he caught my forearm as i was running away.

"we got a slippery one, here."

I just remember how hard it is for a nerd to exist on the 80s. We where dascriminated against. Denied jobs. Denied girl friends. all because we were born something that i couldnt decide. pathetic . In the future i wil write a book about things i like and how nerds rule the world. Oh yea baby THEN its gonna be joey time baby

the guy said "you betta stay off of my terf nerd." he called me, using the slur. Iwas so small and terrified. he as giving me a wicked indian burna dn it was hurting. "Or the snake bites is gonna go after you." he said, peering into my eyes, seeing the fear, seeing his reflection in my terrified gaze. He picked a piece of food out of his teeth, then tightened his gaze on me. "Dont u ever think you're gonna outsmart me punk. Or you will regert it." he spit on my face and walked away with a proud walked away proudly. some got in my mouth.

i was devastated. Hoe could i have gotten stuck in an era where i was so dascriminated about? I walked away from the sense of the crime with my tail between my legs. a real tail because i got onoe during the space werewolves remember??! Anyway I walked away until i found something really strange and onimous...it was a girl with a shaved head…. What hte heck? And she was just hiding in the woods like that? Kinda weird…………….

I came up to the girl and I said "What are you doing ehre" but she just stared at me and said "no" and started force chocking me it was terrible!! I could barely breathe and now hold on how many times im i gonna get forcibly restrained today???? She was choking me so bad and the light was leaving my eyes when something grabbed me from behind. I was coughing and bleeding up blood, but someone put a warm arm around my body. I suddenly felt secure….. he said "stop" and she got thrown across the forest into a tree. i slowly opened my eyes and say a kind and benevolent smile shining down on me. It was…………………………….prince!

"Omh prince you are so kind" i said.

do not worry, my child he said. He picked me up like a a baby and startes carrying me away. he said "heeee heee!" and flew into the darkness.

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I woke up against somethingg soft. i wiped the sleep away from my eyes and as the focused i could tell i was in some strange room...white and golden...i blinked, and saw a shandalear on the cieling. weird….. suddenly i hear a voice that says "your beans on toast, sir"

it was a butler??? did i have a butler??? no??? i sat straight up in bed. i was in some kind of palace….may i say……. buckingham palace???

i jumped out of bed and started looking around. everything in there was so fancy it was crazy. i took the beans on toast from the butler (his name was winslow) and started looking around wandering through the halls. i walked into a guard and he said "ahh master rooney. the queen would like to speak to you at once?"

DID I HAVE AN APPOINTMENT WITH THE QUEEN????

he took me to the royal throne room where queen victoria sat on her throne. prince sat next to her and so did prince charles and prince phillip. wow. i kneeled before her.

she said "there has been word across the land of your time travelling abilities. i have been searching far and wide for you."

wow. this was crazy.

"i need you and your extrordinary talents immediately. the russians have been planninng a supper secret nuclear weapon to be unleased on england, and ifbyou don't stop it, we could all be vaporized!"

oh boy. this was a bigger deal then i thought. i mean i know it's the cold war and everything so i kinda thought that nothinf important happened. that's why you learn something new evwry day!

"in exchange, i have something to offer you. your chance home."

okay. Now I had to takenit "i will your majesty." i said.

"very well. winslow will see to it that you are outfitted for your mission. godspeed and see you soon, joseeph."

Winslow gave me an outfit to try it and, Im not gonna lie guys, ir was pretty epic.

ihell yeah! I looked mike i was straight outta the 80's!

I got on a train to take me straight to the pentagon in america. I needed to access some top secret information about the commies that the queen herself of england didnt have access to. my alias was Henri Paul, cuz that's just a cool name okay!

On my way there "Living on a prayer was playing and so was the Final countdown. i listened to it on my walkman. Finally, we were there.

Queen victoria printed me a fake pentagon ID and they scanned it at the door. i was in. i walked past the security and they waved at me. i walked and walked and walkes until I got to the presidents room. He wasn't there so I went straight to his desk. Hidden under it was a safe. But what was the combination?

I thought hard about it. What could it be? I put in 0000. It worked. I took out all of the papers and folders in it. Then, i saw one called Russian secrets. bingo. i took it out and read it but as i was standing up, the president walked in.

"Well well well, who do we have here?"

i put my hands up. oh no! Caught in the act.

Ronald regan cane closer to me. "Are you a russian spy" he said.

"No sir" i said, trying to move.

"Freeze!" He said. "Youre coming with me!"

"Over my dead body!" I ejaculated!

I jumped out of the window and onto the ground. I started running towards a swat van. He was chasing after me, gaining in me.

I jumped inside and started the car. i started to pull out of the spot when i heard a thunk on the roof and heavy foot steps. there became indents on top of the car. Robald Regan jumped on top of my car to get me!

I drove out onto the highway. He was clawing at the roof and metal was scrappibg on the car. It was so scary! I was driving really fast and i was swerving around all over the place. Suddenly, a clawed hand grabbed my shirt out of the window! Holy crap! I could barely see out of the window. my habds were getting pulled off the wheel! I slammed on the brakes.

screeeeeeeeeeech!

the van swerved into a circle, leaving skid marks on the ground. we spun in circkes in the middle of the highway and it was so dangerous. Then, we tipped over and fell on the side.

CRASSHHHH!!! BOOMM!! PHREWWWW!!!

There was a huge scraping noise. I think wr hit anither car. I crawled out of the top of the van. I ran over to the other car it was destroyed and all crumpled. and what i saw, was terrible. laiing in the drivers seat, was

……………...princess diana!! And there was blood all over her! her eyes were open but not blinking…….she looked so beautiful and tragic. NOOOOOOO!!!!!! I CANT BELIEVE I KILLED PRINCESS DIANA!!!!!!!!

I fell to my knees on the ground, defeated. i killed her…..im a monster…...

Ronald regan got crushed by the van that fell over, which was good. but then, all the cops clstarted coming and i had to get away. this would look terrible for me.

i started ro run as fast as i could. i needed to run away from mycrimes…..but i couldnt run away……..from my mistakes….. i ran away in tears, as far as i could get.

A/N: rip princess diana