Chapter VIII – If You See Her, Say Hello

A/N: Thanks Rebekka and Caroline for your kind words - it's been a rough couple weeks but I'm handling things a little better now than I was. Caroline - I hope the moment you were looking forward to doesn't disappoint =)

If you get close to her, kiss her once for me
I always have respected her, for doing what she did and getting free
Whatever makes her happy, I won't stand in her way
Though the bitter taste still lingers on
From the night I tried to make her stay

It was almost eight now and Monjuni's was just busy enough. Not so slammed that the service suffered, nor so loud as to hinder the company of one's friends. Quistis had been the first in and had secured the eight-top table which would house the party. She figured it would have been rude to be late to her own dinner, after all. She was sipping at a glass of champagne and looking at the menu when Irvine and Selphie walked in.

"Hey!" she called, and waved to them. They were just then telling the hostess that they were meeting someone, and Selphie rushed over to Quistis who was still in her seat, planting a smacking kiss on the blonde's pale cheek as she wrapped her up tightly from behind. "This is so great!" she said. "Gosh you look great!" she added.

Quistis gave her a sultry look. "Thanks. I'm hoping it pays off before this trip is over…"

Irvine had come over at a more relaxed pace, clad in an orange button down with a tropical pattern, baggy shorts, and a pair of sandals. "Hey Quisty! Thanks for dinner," he said.

"Not at all," Quistis said. "I'm just so happy everyone is here. Did you see any of the others on the way over?"

"Nah," Irvine shook his head, "but I'm sure they won't be far behind." He picked up the menu in front of him and started looking through it. "They got drinks here?"

"Yeah," Quistis laughed. "I'm starting to think this whole town is the drunkest place I've ever seen."

"Irvy, please don't get drunk!" Selphie scolded.

"We're on vacation!" Irvy threw his hands up. "I'm gonna have a good time Sefie, sorry."

"If you really wanna have a good time later you'll go easy," she said. "I hate having sex with a sloppy drunk," she added.

Irvine's eyes got wide and he looked over at Quistis, who just shrugged and took another sip of her champagne. "Sounds like you have a vested interest in staying sober," she said.

"I'm gonna take you around the world!" Selphie fluttered her eyelashes at him.

"Uh, well, um…" Irvine shifted uncomfortably, and repositioned something in his lap less discretely than he had hoped.

"What's wrong?" Selphie asked half-innocently.

"Nothing, I'm good. Hey, what's good here?" he asked, as though anyone else at the table had been here before.

Quistis was flushed imagining what the two might get up to later. Hyne, she needed to find that tall dark handsome stranger she had been imagining. "It's North Galbadian so… I guess pasta is a good place to start?"

"Yeah, that's kinda standard," Irvine agreed. "Galbadian restaurant can't do pasta right then pack it in," he laughed.

"RINOA!" Selphie belted out. The object of her excitement had just come through the front door and was talking to the hostess. She looked over and waved back, then thanked the hostess and came over. She sat down across from Quistis and exhaled contentedly. "Hi!" she said.

"Hi yourself, how was your flight?" Quistis asked.

"Oh, it was fine. Isn't the hotel nice?" said Rinoa.

"It's great," Irvine started. "And that receptionist – OW!" he jolted in his seat.

Across from him, Selphie looked innocent. She was beside Rinoa and pointed to something on the menu. "Oh, that sounds GOOD!" she exclaimed.

"Oh my gosh it does," Rinoa replied, paying no mind to Irvine who was still wincing. He had pulled his left leg up and was massaging his aching shin under the table where his wife had kicked him.

"So Rinoa," Quistis started, "how do you think this election will go?"

"Uggghhh," Rinoa groaned, "do I have to talk about work this week?" It was a rhetorical question. She loved talking about her job, and the politics that surrounded it. "It looks like a pretty safe bet that Deata will win again and that I'll keep my job. If Rinno takes the presidency I might as well start packing my bags though," she admitted.

They were all chatting absently, enjoying the comfortable monotony of friendship and unofficial family when Seifer came in.

"Out of my way," he crooned to the hostess and waved his cane at her like a threat, and walked right over to the table where the others were sitting. He sat down next to Quistis and leaned his cane against the table with a kind of mock-daintiness that made everyone snicker. "You all look so lovely tonight," he said.

"Well shucks Seifer," Irvine smiled playfully. "I didn't know you cared," he added.

"Hey, you get a hall pass from Messenger Girl and I'll show you how much I care," Seifer responded.

"SEIFER!" Selphie huffed. "Stop trying to steal my man!" she laughed.

"Don't worry Sefie, I like boobies too much for all that," Irvine replied.

"You know," Quistis mused aloud, "Seifer's got something of a point. Male sexuality gets more malleable the more desperate the men get. What happens on every long sea voyage with only men? They all start sleeping together. Men just need to have sex with something," Quistis shrugged. "Selphie, you'd probably only have to cut him off for a week or two before he thought about taking up Seifer's offer."

"And if she ever does," Seifer cut in, "come see me. Bum leg or not you don't know what you're missing, Cowboy," Seifer winked.

"I don't think you know how well Selphie can suc-OW!" Irvine interrupted himself as Selphie gave him another kick under the table, and laughter engulfed the party again. All except for Rinoa who was confused and tentatively devastated.

"Seifer, are you…" she muttered, her tone putting an instant damper on the jovial mood of the group, "are you gay?"

"Honey I'm as queer as a two dollar bill," he answered without hesitation, drawing another round of laughter from Quistis and Selphie and Irvine. It was an easy admission to make in an atmosphere like this one, and he hadn't imagined the possibility that she might be hurt by it. "I'm sorry I never told you," he added. "Uhm… Squall doesn't know, so… you know…" he raised a finger to his lips in a shushing gesture.

"Oh, right," she laughed, but silently began to question a large part of her younger life. Her teenage romance with Seifer had been a formative experience. They had never slept together but… 'Oh my gosh' she thought. They had never even kissed. There was nothing, nothing physical anyway, in their relationship. Their… imagined relationship, she guessed. It had all been a fantasy. He had never thought of her as anything more than a friend. Not at the state dinner where they met, nor at any of their meetings afterward when they had discussed the politics surrounding the Timber occupation. And not when he came to Timber to hold Deling hostage, just before going off with the sorceress. It hadn't been because he loved her as she loved him. It hadn't been because he wanted her as she had wanted him. It had been because he genuinely believed in Timber's independence. Oh Hyne. Rinoa thought she would throw up. 'What am I doing here?' she thought. Had she come with the intention of rekindling a romance with Seifer? No. So why was she so crushed? And what about Squall, now?

Irvine was still caressing his shin under the table, the opposite one from last time, when Squall finally walked in. He exchanged the bare minimum of formalities with the hostess before coming over to the table.

"'Eyyyyyyyyyy!" the entire table yelled in unison with hands upraised at the headmaster's arrival, then they started pounding the table with closed fists making the glasses and silverware rattle. Even Rinoa joined in despite being in the midst of an existential meltdown.

Squall's sour mood turned sweet as he saw them, and he held both hands up with palms outward and a huge toothy grin as he approached the table. "Is it my birthday?" he asked.

"No, but you're the reason we're here," Quistis responded, and raised her champagne glass. By then everyone had a glass of something, and they all raised theirs in response, even Rinoa who was still freaking out internally, awaiting a toast.

"Sit down," Quistis said, glass still upraised. There was a glass of something that looked like chardonnay at the head of the table where they all assumed Squall would sit. "I propose a toast," Quistis started, predictably. "To the best headmaster Balamb Garden has ever had. Thought it's a short list, it's a clear decision. Squall, we all love you. We planned this vacation for you. The wind in our sails," she paused, "and more importantly the man who signs all our paychecks!"

"HEAR HEAR!" Seifer bellowed, and downed the contents of his glass prematurely, "you're the greatest, even though you ruined my fucking leg you bastard!"

Rinoa felt a little left out then, especially by the 'man who signs all our paychecks' comment, but she raised her glass anyway.

Squall was speechless for a moment, but then snatched the glass from the table and raised it with everyone else – except for Seifer. "To me!" he shouted jokingly, and killed his drink. Everyone else killed theirs too, and then pounded the table with closed fists again until it sounded like an earthquake. Rinoa did so only half-heartedly.

Squall sat down feeling about as good as he thought he ever had, and picked up his menu. "Has anyone else ordered yet?"

"No," Selphie answered, "we were waiting for our fearless leader."

Squall chuckled and looked down. He felt for a moment like everything would be alright. He was so intoxicated with the sheer contentedness of this moment, in fact, that he didn't notice how miserable Rinoa looked. And neither did anyone else. "Hey," he said.

"Hi," she answered, looking down at her menu.

"It's... really good to see you," he smiled.

"Same here," she faked a smile back.

For the next half hour or so, everything was fine. They ordered drinks, and then food, and laughed and talked and simply indulged in the moment. All the while Rinoa crumbled inside and tried to hide it.

"Hey look," Quistis elbowed Seifer. They were all working away at their entrees now. Off in the corner, half shrouded in the dark, Zell was sitting across from Isis. He looked sharp but out of place in his SeeD dress uniform. Isis was in a dark blue strapless dress with her crimson hair tied in a neat bun and her mouth adorned with lipstick that matched her tresses.

"Oh I know, I've been watching them since they got here," Seifer responded.

"Holy shit," Irvine said as he saw them, having overheard Quistis and Seifer's exchange, "he's gonna get up in that!"

Selphie fumed. "You are GROSS," she said half-jokingly, "but yeah I hope so. Maybe he'll calm down!"

Squall looked over to that dark corner with raised eyebrows, laughing now in good humor and hoping the same. "She'd be quite a conquest for him," he noted.

"Yeah," Rinoa said flatly. "I hope Zell at least gets what he came here for."

"What?" Squall asked. The question was loaded, and he was hoping that he had the correct idea of what Rinoa had 'come here for.'

"Nothing, Squall," she said, and threw her napkin down into her plate. "It's got nothing to do with you."

By then the table had come to an uncomfortable silence. Squall finally broke it. "Rinoa… what are you talking about?" he asked. His face was crumbling.

"Seifer," she asked, ignoring Squall, one elbow planted on the table, chin rested in her palm. She pulled away from it and pursed her lips, choking back tears. "When did you realize you were gay?" she asked.

"What?" Squall asked tersely.

"Rinoa!" Quistis was outraged.

"Seifer is gay?" Squall asked.

A silence came over the table. It seemed to go on forever but Seifer finally broke it. "Yes, Squall. I'm gay," he admitted.

"Why…" Squall was floored. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"I don't know, I…" Seifer exhaled. "I don't know. You're my boss. I didn't know what you would think. I just… I liked being home, at Balamb Garden. I didn't want to risk that."

"So… you told everyone but me," Squall muttered.

"Yeah…" Seifer answered.

Rinoa stood up, appalled. "Everyone but you?" she asked rhetorically. "Everyone but YOU?" she repeated. "How about everyone but ME!" she was crying now.

"Rinoa, it's okay," Selphie placed a hand on her wrist to calm her.

"NO! It's NOT okay!" she cried. "I didn't mean anything to you, did I?" she looked to Seifer pleadingly.

"Rinoa I…" Seifer trailed off. This had been the last thing he had wanted. Truth be told he'd known even back when they were kids that she'd gotten the wrong idea about him, and about what they were to one another.

"Was this all part of your little plan?" Rinoa asked.

"I don't know what you're talking about," Seifer looked down at the table. He knew exactly what she was talking about.

"Your plan to get Squall here," she spat. "All of you!" she looked around the table accusingly. "Make Squall think that Seifer and I were together so he would be jealous enough to come. Did it cross anyone's mind that someone might be hurt? That maybe I did have feelings for Seifer and that things would get confused?"

Squall all-but doubled over in his seat, as though he'd been shot in the stomach. The rest of the table was quieter than the vacuum of space, and the atmosphere less hospitable.

"And what about Squall?" she continued. "How did you expect this to end? Did you think we would go back home together again and that everything would be fine? Or did you think that over the course of this vacation he would forget the heartbreak you reminded him of to get him here? Neither of those things ever had a chance of happening." Rinoa paused. "What the fuck is wrong with you guys? Do you not understand how serious this is?"

"We… we didn't think…" Quistis stammered wearing a thousand-yard stare. Was this really happening? Had this perfect night actually gone so wrong so quickly?

"Exactly!" Rinoa stomped. "You didn't think," she huffed, then turned to Squall. "Squall, I'm sorry. We're never getting back together. You knew that, right?" Her cheeks were wet again.

"Yeah," Squall lied. He'd had his hopes. 'Had' being the operative word. Past tense. He'd always hated the past tense. Past tense was never good. It meant that something was over – and usually that something had been lost. And oddly it was almost always somehow involving Seifer.

"Seifer, I loved you," Rinoa announced. "I loved you when I was sixteen. I loved you when you tried to sacrifice me to Adel. I loved you when I didn't know where you were for years or if you were even alive."

Squall listened numbly.

"I loved Squall too," Rinoa added. "But I always loved you," she looked back to Seifer. "And you never loved me. You never even wanted me. You were never even capable of wanting me. It was all a lie. A lie I told myself. Hyne, I'm so fucking stupid," she brushed raven locks away from her eyes, stray hairs plastered to her face by the moisture and salt of her tears.

Squall felt dizzy. There was a pain in his chest. He was drunk. He stood up. "Seifer," he said.

"Yeah…" Seifer answered. He still hadn't looked up from the table.

"You're fired," Squall said.

"What?" Quistis stood up. "He hasn't done anything!"

Squall said nothing, only met the blonde's gaze. His jaw was quivering.

"You can't do this!" Quistis raged. "You're drunk! Take it back!"

"No," Squall shook his head. "Seifer, when you get back to Balamb Garden pack your bags. I can't stand to look at you."

Seifer looked up to Squall. There was no venom, no bitterness, no bile in his gaze. Only pain and self-blame like a dog being abandoned. Squall didn't care – all he had wanted was to hurt someone as much as he had just been hurt. He'd gotten his wish.

Seifer groped for his cane and stood up, seeming more frail now. Without a word, he limped away from the table and out the door.

Selphie was catatonic with shock and grief and disbelief, but Irvine managed to speak up. "You're gonna regret this in the mornin'," he said to Squall. "Better think about it and take a step back while you still can," he added.

"No," Squall shook his head. His jaw was set and the muscle of his cheeks rippled with the tightness of it.

"If Seifer goes," Quistis said, "we all go." She let those words linger in the silence of the room. She looked to Irvine and Selphie, who each nodded reluctantly in turn.

Now Squall was hurt. On top of all the hurt from before. "You would choose Seifer over me?" he asked. "All of you!? Then go!" he roared, and swept a cluster of dinnerware off the table with his right hand. It all crashed to the floor – silverware clattering while glasses and plates shattered. The outburst left an empty swath on the table in front of him.

"He's not in the wrong here, friend, you are," Irvine answered, unintimidated by the headmaster's outburst. Zell had taken notice now too.

"Uh… I should go," Isis had said, and hurried out the door. Zell hung his head in defeat as she left. For several minutes he had been trying to pretend this uncomfortable exchange hadn't been taking place mere meters away, but now there was nothing and no one to pretend for.

He walked over now, coming up behind Squall and placing a firm hand on his friend's shoulder. "Squall, man, you need to get sober and think before you do anything rash," he said.

"Fuck you!" Squall whirled around reaching for Lionheart.

"Nope," Zell said flatly, and landed a clean, stiff, impossibly quick right cross to Squall's forehead that turned the lights out instantly. He reached out with both hands with equal quickness after the fact, capturing the unconscious headmaster under each arm as he went limp. Carefully he lowered him to the ground, and then straightened to look at Quistis and Selphie and Irvine. Rinoa had slipped out at some point during the fracas and was nowhere to be seen.

"We should take him back to the hotel," Zell said.

"Yeah…" Quistis said, choking back tears.

"Come on, I'll help you," Irvine said to Zell. Selphie was still silent.

When Squall woke up on his side in the hotel bed, still fully clad from the night before except for his boots, with a throbbing head not just from the alcohol, he knew was alone. That everyone else had left – gone back to Timber or Esthar or Balamb or wherever else. The vacation was over. For everyone but him, anyway.

To Be Continued...