A/N: The following is a parody and a fanfiction. I own only my characters and the plot. I also don't apologize for the following political jokes, but I will apologize if any other joke offends you.

The Warper News Network (the series)

January 2020

(Cues: Z-TV Techno Song)

The logo flashes with three letters, "WNN", the Warper News Network. WNN is one of the three major news networks among reality warpers.

"WNN, the place that's not fake-conservative Fox, idiotically liberal MSNBC, and more classy than Nude News Network. We're the Warper News Network bringing you our neutral outlook! Introducing your "new" anchors, Lapis, Lazuli, and Rei." The announcer said as the lights shine on the set.

"It's 2020, we already have seven murders to throw in the year." Lazuli said dryly.

"That's just Earth Prime's murder rate. Let's just get to the important stuff. The Spiral Empire's influence as it's got a soft grip on dealing Dimensional Scissors, Gem Weapons, Dust, and Gem Slaves. Spinel is still getting hit with accusations of numerous human right violations, but it's basically pointless." Rei remarked.

"It doesn't help that the ones trying to pin her were SJWs and there was the fact of Spinel not breaking any major warper laws, yet." Lapis said with a sigh.

"She may end up picking a fight with several big shots in the warping community." Rei said rolling her eyes. "And let's hope, the bodies don't pile high."

"And then there's the kingdom Pinkamena has risen. Which is ok for the most part…the OU is opening its doors to refugees. Pinkamena's even opening up to cure any horrid mutation of her past experiments. Of course, I doubt people will actually go." Lapis said looking down at his list. "Do we have anything else to do other?"

"I think we're supposed to politics. Switch to Goku with politics." Rei said as the camera changed.

Goku stood in the middle of a room as politicians were in the midst of a riot. Goku stood watching gunfire, tables, chairs, and medieval weapons being thrown around with screams. Goku wanted to stay something, but decided not to where he saw a senator eat his own gun and fired.

"Yeah, I'm going to the concessions." Goku said walking up to the snack table stuffing donuts in his mouth.

The camera cuts back to the studio where the three were looked bored.

"So, I guess we'll turn to Chi-Chi with bounty." Lapis said as Chi-Chi rushed on-screen.

"Are we still doing the Big Shots bit?" Chi-Chi said nervously. "Because this costume…is a bit much! Judy clearly doesn't wear a bra in this!"

Chi-Chi stood in different clothes.

"Look, we need to kick in 2020 with fanservice for our male audience." Lapis remarked.

"And what about our female audience?!" Chi-Chi asked.

"What about our female audience?" Lapis said dryly before getting thrown off-camera into their coffee table. "Oh dear kami, the coffee burns!"

"And we're out of time already. Look around to the New Year's projects and the like. This time around, things are picking up!" Rei said excitedly.

(A/N: We're still doing this, and I'm still here. Here's to 2020!)