Obama gets out of bed and stretches his arms (both of them at the same time). "Owww, my back hurtys" he said abiviently. He could not see out of his right eye and also he was missing a toe. He now has a beard to signify that time had past.

Obama's working left eye turns to the side of the room and he sees his friend Joe Biden using their shared Computer.

"Oh hey Jack," Joe said acknowledging Obama was awake, "listen here, I'm in the middle of a livesteam, and there are three things that are important to know, one is that I am playing Nier: Replicant and that there girl reminds me of my college girlfriend. We met in 1965 and I said to her 'now listen here, this has gone too far, and to be frank I do not agree with arson on a metaphysical level'. Sure to say, it did not work out. The second thing is actually the third thing. I don't remember." And Joe went back to his game.

The twitch chat, seeing Obama had awoken, went wild, shouting :poggers: and "OBAMA" and "HE HAS RISEN". The latter being a clever reference to yeast.

"Now listen here" Joe says incoherently into the microphone. The sounds that followed seem to be from a language that does not exist.

Obama puts his hand on Joe. "Joe, uhhhhh, how long have I been out?"

"Man," Joe looked mildly annoyed and/or confused. "I don't know man, like a month, a year? There was a thing with a plague and an election and a violent attempt to overthrow the government, and I think Tom Brady won another Superbowl."

"He can't keep getting away with this" Obama muttered angrily.

"Wait" Obama said again, "What were those other things"

"Nah man its not important" Joe said clearly distracted by his games.

Obama knew that getting more information was useless. Obama phased through the wall and appeared in the dining room. He felt that this room was familiar. Then he saw the that his name was carved on the table. He was in the White House.

Obama ran frantically for the oval office. When he got there Joe Biden, stream setup and all was at the presidents chair.

"Wait, uhhhh, Joe, are you the President?"

Joe, looking around, noticed where he was and looked just as shocked as Obama.

"Dag nabbit!" Joe shook his head.

West Virginia Senator Joe Manchin walked in. "Joe, its 12:15, time to sign our centrist Bill."

Obama looked at the Bill, titled "Spend 5,000,000,000 dollars to look into possible causes for Climate Change but not really do anything about it Act Part 2 of 3".

Joe took out his Joe Bide-pen, and signed his name as big as he was reasonably allowed to. Then he ate the Bill to make it official, as is tradition.

"Hey other Joe" Obama said to Joe Manchin, "What happened to Nixon/TheDonald?"

"Oh, Biden dealt with him. Nixon stole the Sword of Stalingrad from the ghost of JFK in Japan, and returned to America to seek vengeance. Or at least he thought that he had, for Joe Biden in Albania learned that the true Sword of Stalingrad was actually stolen by Enver Hoxha in 1980, and buried deep in an Albanian bunker. After undergoing many trials and tribulations, and defeating Zojz the god of lightning, Joe was able to attain the true sword. He returned to America and dueld TheDonald in Atlanta, where he was able to defeat him with the help of Bernie, who gave him the Orb and Mirror, completing the three sacred objects and giving him enough power to banish TheDonald to Florida. However, he believes the magic only has the power to contain him for 4 years".

"Well thats not that much time aint it" Obama said worriedly

"Yeah well its not my problem" and Joe Manchin left back to West Virginia, never to return to Civilized Society.

Obama then turned back to Joe Biden who was now deepthroating a Chocolate ice Cream cone.

"I uhhh, don't know how you do it Jo- er Mister President, but Godspeed to you"

"Now listen here Jack. I was at the national footrace competition in 1987, and I dang near outran not only my buddy Chris from community college, but also Afton who worked at the local pizzeria. Haven't heard from him since then, no one ever figured out what happened. Point is I think God is slow actually, Ive seen fast and I have been there."

Obama nodded.

Obama's path now led him to the Senate Building, where he knew he would find his friend Bernie Sanders. He was struck, however, upon entering, by the sight of a large human sized turtle making a speech in front of the Delegates.

"All I am saying is the motion to create an inquiry team to look into ways of releasing TheDonald from eternal imprisonment in Florida is worth looking into." The turtle said.

"Absolutely not!" Bernie shouted, "His powers are too strong! Even banished he was almost able to destroy the Capitol. We must keep him imprisoned in Florida where he can't hurt anyone."

Senator Lindsay Graham shook his head, "Just another attempt of the Left to CANCEL conservatives for having Opinions"

"I think both sides make interesting points" I lied earlier, Joe Manchin is here and saying this.

"Come on Mitch, we can be reasonable," said Mitt Romeny-san, "you don't have to tie your career to that madman!"

Romney's words, however, bounced off of Mitch's shell like Flatts the Flounder's Fists bouncing off Spongebob in that one episode where Flatts is bullying Spongebob.

"Lets bring this to a vote!" Mitch declared.

All Republicans voted yeah, and 49 democrats voted nay. Joe Manchin stood there going "Hmmmmmmmmmmm"

"For the love of God Joe" Bernie sighed.

"Fine, nay" Joe said miserably.

Bernie left as Congress was dismissed, and ran into Obama who had been watching the scene.

"Oh Obama, thank god you're awake." Bernie looked up and saw Obama's face, "Oh God you look awful, how'd you loose your eye?"

"It is beyond your ability to comprehend."

Bernie knew better than to argue. "Well, as you can see, the fight is never truly won. While I am thankful for Biden for defeating Nixon, our societal issues still loom over our head like a Guillotine."

"Uhhhhh, that seems like a very purposeful simile." Obama said.

"I'm like this close to snapping Obama" Bernie said, holding his fingers really close together to show just how close he was.

"Bernie, uhh, I think you need a break," Obama said, placing his hand against his friend's cheek.

"There's too much to be done. I'm tired, but my fellow Americans need me more. If you have more adventures then go, but I have work to do in the trenches." Bernie scuttled past Obama, and headed to his office.

Obama walked outside and sat on the steps of the Capitol building, flames still engulfing the DC skyline. Looking around, people continued to go about their business. It seems like a long time since Obama had seen people just walking around outside, and not just because of his months long sleep. And the fire continued to consume the city.