Anna could not believe she had let Faison get so close to her. She should have listened to Robert, why couldn't she? She had just wanted to have something good. Having Duke back seemed like such a blessing in a messed up year but it had all been a lie. Faison passing himself off as Duke. He had known so many things about them, how had he known so much? She was standing in Robert's suite, she couldn't stand the idea of staying in either of those other rooms now. Where she had come so close to, no she didn't even want to think about what could have happened. They had talked a little after Faison was taken into custody and Robert had agreed that they would go to that clinic again tomorrow. They were going to find out what or who Obrecht is hiding there.
Even if she hadn't wanted to listen to Robert, he didn't stop until he had proven to her what was really going on. He was not going to let Faison hurt her again. She smiled, he had melted the Duke mask right off of Faison's face. She felt so violated by Faison, she had let him in, she had wanted to spend time with a man she thought was her long lost husband but it was Faison. All along it had been Faison. He had lied his way into her life and she had bought it all. She had even had Robert arrested because she wanted to believe that Duke had come back to her.
When Robert got back to the suite he walked over to her and put his hands on her upper arms, "They might want to talk to you some more tomorrow but for now they have everything they need." The two agents that had stayed behind when Faison was taken into custody had finally left.
"Yeah, we can go talk to them if needed." Anna turned and walked away from Robert. "I wanted to believe it so much." The anger she felt earlier was starting to build again.
"This year hasn't been easy on either of us, Luv."
She turned and glared at him, "You didn't do anything like this."
"I believed Luke's story about Ethan." He hung his head, "I left you alone before Robin's funeral, I never should have done that."
She knew he felt terrible about that, she also knew he had gone and talked to Patrick in hopes of getting forgiveness for how he handled Robin's death. "I know how hard it was on you when I told you about Robin. I know the kind of pain you were in, I was in the same pain. I still am."
"I walked out on you when you needed me. You asked me to stay, to be there for you and I couldn't do that for you. I let you down, I let Robin down. I should have been there, I should have saved her. The one thing left in my life I could be proud of is gone. Robin was the best thing I ever did, we ever did." The emotion is his voice told her he was fighting to hold back all those feelings.
Anna knows how important Robin always had been to Robert. She also understands that he still holds on to the guilt of what he did while they were all apart and that he hadn't been able to bring her home all those years ago. That he couldn't save his family from the pain that Faison had caused them all. Anna turned to him, a softness in her eyes. "I wanted to help you. I wanted to be there for you just as much as I needed you there for me."
"How could I help you when I was just as broken if not more than my source of strength?"
She knew he was talking about her and could see the regret on his face. "We would have been together, we would have found our way through. Darling, I was so scared when I got your text. I knew what you were going to do, that's why I called Luke."
"I know and I am so sorry, Anna. When Luke told me Ethan was really my son I don't know if I ever truly believed it but I just needed something else to focus on, something to hold onto. Something that didn't hurt to think about."
"He only told you that to save your life, I had shown him the text you sent me. He knew it was the only way to get you off that bridge."
"Please, let's not talk about that. That was the lowest moment of my life." Robert looked down after a moment, "Thank you, for sending him after me." Robert looked back up at her with a bit of a grin, "That crazy bastard was going to jump with me."
"He told me about what happened that night about why he sent you after Ethan to save you from yourself. I was so angry when I found out the truth but at least it did get you off the bridge," she offered with a grin of her own.
"I know that now and I am grateful." He tilted his head, "It meant I was here to save you."
Anna smiled as he stepped closer to her again, "Yeah, you were. Even when I didn't want to listen. When I was convinced you were wrong because of your grief. I guess I just wanted something to go right this year. I wanted to believe that Duke had come back to me."
"After everything else that has gone wrong this year, I understand wanting to hold onto something even when it seemed too good to be true."
Anna grinned at him, "Yeah, I guess that was what I was doing."
"I think I always knew Ethan wasn't my son but it gave me something to hold on to. Having Duke back gave you something to hold onto. I have hurt so much this year." Anna touched his cheek, they had both been through so much since they lost Robin. Now they were finally facing the pain of losing their daughter together. "I had to leave, you understand that right? I couldn't deal with losing Robin, I didn't know how to face that pain. I know I should have stayed with you, I should have been there to hold your hand through all of this."
"I know why you had to go. Mac even told me I couldn't take away your reason for living even if I didn't think Ethan was really your son, not for a minute," Anna said with a grin.
"Luke and Holly's lie gave me what I needed at that moment, a reason to keep going. I'm just sorry that it meant I wasn't there for you. I should have been there for you."
"That doesn't matter now, you were here to stop me from making the worst mistake I could ever make. I think that makes up for it. Besides, I had people there for me, Mac was there like you said he would be. We understood you were just trying to find your way again."
"You are being much too easy on me about this."
"Robert, we have both made so many mistakes. The one thing that doesn't change is that we will always come back to each other, we will be there when we truly need each other. I wanted you there with me but you needed to find a way to just keep going. I understand, I really do."
"I just feel like I let you down, again."
"Robert, that doesn't matter now, alright."
He took a deep breath and nodded, "Alright."
"I know there's been some tension between us. That we are both holding on to hurt feelings where the other one is concerned. I'd like that to all be behind us. I need my oldest friend in my life."
"Is that all I am now, just your oldest friend?"
"You are my best friend."
"I'm not really sure how I got here but it seems like I will always be in the friend zone now."
Anna tilted her head, he was the one that had walked out and left her behind. "You went to Bern without me. You didn't want me there with you."
"I told you I was coming back. I wanted to be the man you fell in love with."
"You have always been the man I fell in love with. I wanted you to be the man that still loved me back."
"Damn it, Anna I do love you. You're the one that didn't want me! I came back to you but you didn't want me."
"What are you talking about?" Anna was a little confused by his outburst.
"I came back to you when I knew I was going to beat cancer and you didn't seem to care that I had. It didn't seem like you wanted me back then."
Anna put her hands to her mouth, she had been so concerned about his health all she wanted to do was make sure he was going to be alright. She had ignored all of his advances. She had liked all his attention and flirting but hadn't really flirted back, at all. "Ohhh."
"Oh? That's all you've got."
"Robert, I am so sorry. I was thinking about the wedding, about Emma's first Christmas. I was worried you might put your health at risk just to see Robin get married. I noticed your advances, I liked them. I was also still a little annoyed that you had left me behind," she admitted. "I didn't realize that was the only time you were going to go after what we both said we wanted."
"Why would I try again when I got no indication I was still the man you wanted in your life? You didn't want me after I went to Bern alone. You were done waiting and I throw away our last chance together."
Were they really talking about this now, Anna wondered. Well, it's not like you can really pick the best time to have a heart to heart and this seems to be as good a time as any. "Robert."
"You told me you were done waiting but I still made you wait a couple more months and,"
"And what?" she asked a little heatedly, "A couple of months and I can suddenly shut off the feelings that I couldn't for the thirty years before that? Of course, I still love you Robert that is never going to change just like I know you will always love me."
Robert touched her hand, he didn't know what to say. Why can they never talk about what they need to when it's happening, when it needed to be talked about? Why do they always seem to hold back what's important?
They were looking at each other, they could see the pain in each other's eyes. Anna knew they really needed to get this all out. "I let Luke in but I know he was just a stand-in for you. He lied to you then took the place that should have been yours." She wiped away a tear that had fallen, "Then I wanted to believe that Duke had come back to me and that meant I let Faison get close to me. You should have been there. Where the hell were you?" she asked as more tears rolled down her cheeks.
"Anna, you didn't want me!" He sighed and turned away from her, "Well, that's what I thought."
"Luke lied to you. That lie took you away from me when I needed you but I knew you needed something to hold onto. If you hadn't left we would have gotten through it together. We would have been there for each other and that was all I wanted. To have the only man I know I can trust there for me."
He turned back to her, "I am so sorry, Anna. I should have been there for you instead of chasing a lie."
Again they just looked into each other's eyes. She knows neither of them is holding anything in, "Would you have really jumped?" she asked bluntly, suddenly needing to know.
"I don't know," Robert answered honestly. "When Spencer showed up, I was over the rail ready to let go. I was thinking about Robin and how much I had let her down."
"He told me he tried everything to try and reason with you. He said he lied about Ethan to get you off the edge."
Robert ran his hands across his face, thinking back to that night. "Once I was off the bridge after I had seen you he could have told me the truth, he should have. Instead, he had Holly lie to me as well. If I had known the truth then Anna. I would have been there with you, I would have needed your strength but I would have been there for you."
Anna walked over and wrapped her arms around him, "Baby, I know how much that lie hurt you and I am so sorry I ever got involved with him. I never would have if I had known the truth. Hell, if I had known the truth, I would have had a mission of my own. I would have been searching for you instead of chasing dreams that Robin might still be alive."
He put his arms around her, "Why do we mess up the most with each other?"
"I don't know." Anna looked up into his eyes, "You should have been there for me but I should have been there for you. I should have been the one that went to you. I should have been the one that stopped you. I should have saved you that night."
He put his hand on her cheek, "Anna, it's in the past. We both made mistakes, we can't change it now."
"I know." She leaned in and rested her head on his shoulder as he put his arms around her again. It felt so nice to be in his arms. To have him here, looking out for her. The only man she has ever needed, even when she doesn't know she needs him, like this time. She stepped back a little and their arms dropped, "Why couldn't I believe you? I was a little suspicious of him before you told me who he was but I wanted so much to believe it was true. Even when I pushed you away, you wouldn't stop trying to protect me from myself. That was all you needed from me when Robin died."
"You were just as messed up as I was." There were still tears in her eyes as she nodded. "It wasn't graceful and we're still struggling but I think we made it through the worst of it."
Anna smiled weakly and nodded, "You know, that first day you showed up in Port Charles, I think I suspected you were there to save me from myself," she said with a grin.
"I needed you to be alright and it all seemed too good to be true. Duke showing up when you were at your most vulnerable."
"He wanted to move so quickly. Why didn't I listen to you?" Anna felt a chill go through her, "It was something about him, it was off. I didn't know what it was but it was wrong. I should have listened to you, to my gut. He felt different because he wasn't Duke. I even mentioned that to Felicia but told her not to say anything to you."
"That's right why admit I could be right?" he said with a grin.
Anna smiled back, "Why would I do that?"
"Because I was right."
"There were clues but I didn't want to see them. I ignored what was right in front of my face because I wanted it to be true."
"Anna, you've been through so much this year it makes sense you wanted to believe Duke had come back. I think I can even forgive you for arresting me," he said with a grin.
She smiled at that, he had out and out told her it was Faison posing as Duke but she just didn't want to believe him. "I freaked out when I saw Faison in that room, Robert. Why couldn't I just listen to you?" Her tears started to fall again, how could she have been so stupid, so blind?
Just then John McBain returned to the suite, "Faison is locked up and should be there for a very long time," he said as he entered then noticed Anna was there with Robert. "Sorry if I'm interrupting."
Robert put his hand on her back as she wiped away her tears, "That's alright, I think we'll just finish this conversation in my room." Anna let him lead her to his room. McBain didn't say anything else, he just watched them leave the room. Robert closed the door behind them, "I didn't think you'd want him to see you this upset."
"I don't even know what I feel," she told him as she turned to him. "I'm angry, sad, frustrated, disappointed," she paused, "empty." Robert wrapped her in his arms, Anna closed her eyes and rested her head against his chest. They didn't say anything for several minutes, Anna just listening to his heart as he rubbed her back. This was all she needed, what she had wanted for months, to find comfort in these arms.
"I'm sorry it took so long for me to finally do what you needed. Anna, I don't want to let you go." Holding her with her arms wrapped tightly around him, knowing she was safe even if they were both still grieving Robin was what he had needed as well. The only other person that understood his loss is the person he's holding, the person holding him.
Anna leaned back and looking into his eyes, "Hold me, please will you just hold me tonight."
"We should change into something more comfortable for sleeping. Then all I want is to hold you through the night. I'll go grab your bag."
"Robert, that can wait until morning. Do you have a shirt I can borrow?"
"Yeah." Robert turned and got them both something to sleep in.
When Anna came out of the bathroom Robert was already in bed, her side turned down. His t-shirt hung low, covering her bottom but Robert did notice her legs, she still has great legs. Anna smiled as she got into bed, Robert had his hands behind his head waiting for her. Anna slid over and put her head on his shoulder and he moved his hand putting his arm around her.
"Thank you, Robert." Anna knew that was all she needed to say.
"I will never let him take you away from me again."
"I know." Knowing that Faison was behind bars and couldn't hurt her made her feel at ease. The fact it was Robert that again came to her aid, that kept him away from her felt right. As Robert slowly rubbed her back Anna relaxed more and more. She closed her eyes and they drifted off to sleep, both emotionally drained.