AN: As I'm getting back into the swing of things I'm hoping to start updating this at least once a month, especially with the new season!
One of Jo's favorite places to take Luna was the library. Unfortunately, her toddler didn't have as much of an attention span as usual. At two years old, Luna had caught up developmentally with most of her peers, except for the occasional delay, but that was to be expected. Yet ever since she started walking, Jo had a hard time keeping her still. The one thing that Luna would sit down for, was books, specifically books about space.
Luna loved anything space related, including her pink tiny NASA suit that she insisted on wearing most days. So after a late night shift, only a few hours of sleep, and because she wanted a quiet day, Jo picked up her little pink astronaut, and they flew over to the library in the car/spaceship. Now they sat in between the shelves as Jo pulled out a couple of random books.
"This one looks nice," Jo said, pulling out a book, but then she read the description.
It was an adoption story, and usually, Jo didn't get those out for Luna unless she had read them over first. When Jo had adopted Luna, she considered buying a book about adoption to help explain it all to her when she was older.
Jo remembered the adoption and foster story books she read as a child. She could have never imagined her parents willingly choosing to put her in that situation, but they did. The foster home she was in wasn't better like all the books promised they were. They weren't the loving families that all the books painted them to be. Instead of a forever home, she dreamed of her birth parents showing up and whisking her away, loving her the way someone should have.
Jo had sorted through millions of adoption story books. Unfortunately, most of them were religious. They often painted the birth mother as a woman who made the right choice to place the baby with their family, but Val didn't give Luna up willingly. She died and Jo never wanted to keep that fact from her daughter either.
No adoption or foster care kids' story was without pain. Jo's was the pain of her birth father's assault and her mother's abandonment. Luna's was of her mother's death and her father's disinterest. She wanted Luna to know that she is loved, that she was always loved, and that Val loved her and that Jo fought for her because she loved her too.
"Maybe not. Let's pick another."
"No, Mama," Luna said, grabbing a book from where she sat and Jo's lap. "Read, read."
Jo sighed and took another look at the book as she flipped it over and read the description before opening it up. This book seemed alright, so Jo flipped back to the first page and started reading it.
"Mommy and Daddy, Tell Me Again About the Night I Was Born," Jo began as she read the book to Luna. When she got to the page that had the baby laid out in actual size, Jo paused and smiled. "You were much smaller when you were born, you were this little."
Jo showed Luna with her hands the size that she was, as Luna pointed to the baby on the page. "Big 'aby."
"Yeah, that is a big baby," Jo said as Luna finally allowed her to turn the page, and she continued reading.
Once Jo finished the book, she put it in their stack to check out. After sorting through a few more books, the two of them walked out of the library with their collection. Jo held the bag of books and Luna held one book tightly against her chest. Despite living downtown, Jo often found herself hanging out in the Queen Anne neighborhood. It was safer and easier to hang out in, with more parks and things for the two of them to do. It also helped that she was close to Meredith and Link's place. She put Luna in the stroller and started to walk the two blocks over to the park.
As they walked, Jo couldn't help, but remember the adoption story in the book and Luna's own birth and adoption story. Through the advice of others and from her own experience as a foster child, Jo never wanted to lie to Luna about how she came to adopt her. Still, that didn't change the story of how Luna came to be in the world.
She survived on her mom's liver and was born during a pandemic. Her mother loved her so much, but she never even got to hold her. Val died and she hadn't gotten the chance to meet her daughter. Although Jo knew Luna before she was born and held her as soon and as much as she could, it didn't make things any easier. Jo had been telling Luna about Val. She made sure that Luna had a picture of Val in her nursery and that she knew her Mom's name.
"Hey, Luna," Jo said, leaning forward to see over the canopy of the stroller. "Do you want to know about your birth story and about your Mama Val?"
"Mama story," Luna repeated with a nod, and Jo smiled down at her.
"Okay, so the day I met your mommy Val was in the middle of a crazy year where everybody had to wear masks to cover their faces. Your mommy had come to the hospital where I work because her tummy didn't feel good. That's when we found out you were in her tummy and not only that, you weren't where you're supposed to be. See, most babies grow in their mommy's uterus, but you were growing on your mommy's liver!"
"Li-er" Luna said as she tried out the word.
"Yes, Liver, you are my little liver baby," Jo said, leaning forward again and tickling Luna's side as she giggled. "But you weren't supposed to be on your mommy's liver, so we had to go in and get you, and you were so tiny when you were born. You weren't quite ready to be born yet, so we took you to the NICU, and that's where you lived for the first five months of your life. And your mommy Val, she loved you so much, but she..."
Jo faltered a little, she had always told Luna about her mom, but she had always brushed over the fact that Val had died. She turned the corner as they approached the park. She didn't want to introduce her daughter to death so soon, but she deserved to know what really happened, and Jo didn't want her thinking that Val walked out on her.
Jo looked down at Luna, who looked back up at her with big blue eyes, Val's eyes. She looked so much like Val. They had the same blue eyes and white blonde hair. The same pointed little chin, and the same little nose. As Jo got to the park, she picked a bench and parked the stroller next to it.
She sat down so she could face Luna, taking her little hands and holding them. "Have I told you how little your hands were when you were born? They were the size of my fingertips and now look at how big they are."
Luna smiled and laughed as she looked at their hands. "I big girl."
"Yes, you are a big girl, and you look so much like your mommy Val, so beautiful and strong like your mommy, and you are stubborn and smart like me," Jo said as she took a deep breath and looked down at their hands. "Your mommy Val couldn't stay here. She had to go to the great beyond, like in that movie we watched, do you remember?"
Luna nodded as they had watched the movie Soul with Scout and Meredith's kids a few days ago, and Jo figured that if Luna was going to understand death, it needed to be at least age appropriate and not scary.
"Yeah, well just like in the movie, your mommy Val is in the great beyond, and that's why she's not here with us. That's why I'm your mama, that's why I went to the courthouse, and I asked them if I could keep you? And at first, they said no, but I wouldn't give up on you. I fought for you. I fought so hard because I love you so much, Luna, and I wanted to be your mama. Finally, I met with a special lawyer who helped me adopt you, and so we went back to the courts, and do you know what they said?"
Luna shook her head, but she smiled at Jo, a beautiful big smile that made the harshest of days become the happiest.
"They said that I could keep you forever, and so that's what I did. You're my daughter forever," Jo said, lifting Luna up out of the stroller and holding her into the air. "You're mine forever, my Little Moon, and I love you so much."
"Love you, Mama," Luna said, puckering her lips, and Jo smiled as she gave her a peck.
"Alright, let's go play. You want to go on the swings?" Jo asked as Luna nodded and Jo carried her over to the swings.
They spent the rest of the afternoon at the park, and Luna smiled and laughed, and ran around just being the carefree child she could be. Jo was happy to give her that because, despite her rough start, her daughter had a happy childhood. That was what she wanted for Luna and she knew that was what Val wanted for her too. The day Val died, Jo promised her that she would take care of her daughter. That she would give her a happy childhood and a happy life, and Jo kept her promise.
AN: My mother is adopted and when I was younger, I used to read the book "Mommy and Daddy Tell Me Again About the Night I Was Born" by Jamie Lee Curtis. It mirrored my mother's adoption story, and that's how I came to understand that she was adopted. It didn't say that adoptive parents were better and what the birth mother could have given. Sometimes, like in Jo's story, there is no better. Her foster parents were terrible, but her birth mom was in the midst of her depression and couldn't bear the sight of her, and I doubt she would have been able to take care of Jo. There were just two bad situations and a child stuck between them. I'm really glad that Jo got the chance to adopt Luna and be better and do better for her daughter. That's part of why I love this series.