Chapter 23

Time passed by slowly for Missie as her body worked on healing itself from the wounds it had obtained at the hands of her father. Physically, the girl was improving in leaps and bounds, mentally and emotionally it was harder to tell how she was. The girl had withdrawn back into her shell, a spark that she had no longer visible to anyone. The Cartwrights were concerned for her but they understood she needed space after everything that had happened. Ben was especially worried, being a father of three children gave him a different perspective of how the girl was compared to his boys. They were trying everything they could think of to try and help the girl but their efforts didn't seem to make much difference.

Hoss would bring her fresh flowers every morning, Adam would read to her and Joe would try to keep her entertained with a game of checkers but for the most part the girl would just stare off in the distance like she was seeing something far away. Paul had confirmed her condition was a result of what had happened to her, there wasn't anything he could do, not much any of them could do except let her know they were there for her.

Two days after her fathers hanging, the girls nightmares began. The whole household had been woken with her screams, it'd taken Ben and Adam sometime to get her settled down again and even longer to get her back to sleep. Since then one of them had decided to sleep downstairs with her, the girl still plagued by nightmares even with their presence though. She wouldn't speak of what they were, she'd just stare with that blank stare as one of them held her close, trying to bring her comfort in any way they could.

They were worried for her because they cared about her. She had become part of their family, part of their hearts. After her fathers execution, Ben had obtained temporary custody of her but the girl was yet to know that knowledge. Adoption too was on his mind but he hadn't spoken of that to her either. It would have to wait until things had improved, if they did.

Adam was brushing down Sport in the barn one morning a couple months later, whistling a song as he worked. Missie was making some slight improvement, she was starting to engage with them more but still there was that look in her eye and the nightmares. He'd been up with her what felt like half the night, holding her in his arms to let her know she was safe and to keep her from harming herself. A couple of weeks previous she'd fallen off the bed they'd moved downstairs for her, resulting in a very sore child the day after. It hadn't helped her healing ribs at all.

Hoss and Little Joe joked and teased him over how protective he'd become of the child but he didn't mind. He really felt something towards her, a bond with her. Almost like the bond he and his brothers had but it was different too somehow at the same time. He certainly did feel protective of her, more so now then back then. They hadn't seen her much after her nightmares, the girl shaking in his arms like a leaf without uttering a word. So much went on in that mind of hers that no one could see and she wouldn't speak of it. She seemed so strong on the outside, starting to come out of her shell when people were around again yet at night she was as fragile as a newborn colt.

Sport snorted, lifting his head as Ben walked in, the man giving the gelding a pat while he turned to his son. 'Paul's almost finished with Missie, thought I'd invite him to take tea with us if you wanted to join.'

'How does he think she's going?'

A small smile crossed his lips. 'Why don't you come see for yourself.'

'Is there something your not telling me?'

'Come along son.'

Adam raised his eyebrows, clapping Sport on the shoulder and followed his father back to the house. Ben opened the door, motioning for him to stand back and stay quiet as he closed it softly behind him. Paul was with Missie in the living room, looking over the girls legs one last time then back up at her and nodded. The girl placed her hands down firmly on the armrests of the chair, slowly getting to her feet all by herself then carefully stepped forward without the use of her crutches.

Concentration written on the girls face she cautiously put one foot infront of the other. Her muscles were still weak, she'd been able to move and start getting use of them back for a couple weeks but they were hardly near her full strength. It'd take time for them to be back the way they were before but it was a step in the right direction. Out of the corner of her eye she could see Ben and Adam watching her and carefully she walked towards them, a grin coming over their faces and hers. Finally she reached them, looking up at them. 'Well, aren't you going to say something?'

They laughed, Adam patting the girls shoulder as Ben gave her a warm hug. 'It's good to see you on your feet again my dear.'

'Doc Martin says I'm strong enough to walk without help if I'm careful.' She replied, looking up at him as she hugged him back, the doctor walking over closer to join them. 'I'm so happy I don't have to have you carry me or use those stupid crutches any more.'

'It's good to see a smile on your face again Missie, we've missed seeing it.'

'Aren't you going to give me a hug too?'

'Oh Adam.' She laughed, giving him a hug as he returned it then turned back to the doctor. 'Thank you Doc Martin.'

'Your welcome Missie. You continue to take it easy now though, you hear. Keep up with your excersises and I trust Ben and Adam will see that you don't overdo it.'

'So that means no cartwheels or climbing trees.' Adam teased, knowing she wouldn't be doing them anyway. 'Or I'll throw you in the pond.'

'You wouldn't-'

'Oh I wouldn't?'

The girl shrieked as he picked her up, starting towards the door. 'No, no. Don't throw me in the pond.'

'Promise you'll take it easy then?'

She looked up, nodding desperately, her eyes wide with fear. 'Promise, promise!'

'Alright then-' Carefully he placed her back on the ground. 'If I catch you doing too much though-'

'I won't.'

Ben chuckled, listening to their banter then turned back to the doctor. 'Your welcome to join us for morning tea, we've quite something to celebrate.'

'Thank you for the offer Ben but I must get back to town. Some other time perhaps.'

'Alright. I'll walk you out.'

Paul nodded, taking his hat off the cabinet and looked back at Missie. 'I'll say it again just in case. You take it easy young lady, no running, no overworking yourself. Your leg while healed on the outside won't take much to tear the muscles again like last time. I'll come by to see you again in a few weeks.'

'I'll be careful, promise.'

'Good girl. Bye Adam.'

'See you Doc.' He replied as he walked out with his father and he turned back to the girl. 'So Missie, what do you wish to do with your new found freedom?'

'Hmmm-' Her eyes sparkled, if only for a moment. 'do a cartwheel?'

'A cartwheel?' He repeated, picking the girl up again as she giggled. 'You know what I said about you doing cartwheels-'

'You'll throw me in the pond.' She interrupted softly. 'I was only joking.'

'So was I.'

'Can you put me down now?'

'How about instead I take you out to see my horse now that your doing better. You can help me brush him if you like.'

'Sure but it's a fair ways to the barn, I'll have to get my crutches.'

'Never mind them, I'll carry you. Besides, I've been doing a lot of it recently.'

Missie chuckled as she opened the door for him, Ben waving the doctor off as they came out. 'Adam's taking me out to brush his horse.'

'I see he has you doing chores already.' He winked at her in jest, it really did warm his heart seeing her smiling and laughing. She hadn't done much of that at all recently. 'I was thinking maybe you might like to go to Virginia City if you feel up to it.' He nodded at the blue dress she was wearing, her only dress. 'We really should organise some more clothes for you, you do need a new wardrobe.'

'I guess I do, don't I. I've almost worn this dress out I'm afraid.' She turned to Adam. 'I wouldn't want to do that, I really like this dress.'

'Well, it's settled then. We'll head into town.'

'On one condition?'

'And what's that young lady?'

'You let me get the team ready for the buckboard. I can at least start to earn my keep by grooming them.'

'Alright, I guess there's no harm in that. I've got a few things to sort out inside Adam, I'll be back shortly.'

'Right Pa.' He nodded then looked down at Missie. 'This way to the noble steeds, my lady.'

'You sound funny when you do that with your voice.'

'Do what?' He teased as they went into the barn. 'Talk like this? Here we go, me lady.'

'Yes. It sounds like one of your posh royalty characters in your books.' She replied as he placed her down in the ground again. 'Your funny Adam.'

'Ah, don't let anyone else hear you say that, I've a reputation of being a grumpy grouch to uphold.'

'You? A grumpy grouch? Never.'

Adam laughed, leading her towards the stalls where the driving team were stabled. 'Alright, Missie, meet Dina and Dona.'

'They're beautiful.' She ran her hand over the neck of the nearest mare. 'Morgans, aren't they?'

'How'd you know?'

'My Pa taught me everything he knew about horses, he wanted to breed the best horses in the West, that's what his dream was. A steady but galent mount he called them. The horses that my father stole were his best bloodlines, they were the finest broodmares money could buy. Except for Pa's stallion of course and the children's pony.' She ran her hand over the mare's neck thoughtfully. 'I hope wherever they are they're well looked after, Pa lived and breathed his horses, just like your Pa this ranch. He made plans for me to help him with it but you know how things ended.'

'I'm sorry we couldn't track down your Pa's horses, we did try.'

She smiled, looking back at him. 'It was more then enough that you tried. It just wasn't meant to be. Now, if you'll point me in the direction of a brush I'll set to work.'

Adam was standing back, leaning against a post a little while later, watching the girl take care of the horses. Missie worked efficiently, not too fast but not taking her time either with the grooming. She was being thorough, speaking to the mare in soft tones as she worked and a small grin started across his lips. The quality of her work was better then some of their hands, a few times he had to bring them up on the fact they were slacking in tending to their horses but the girl definitely knew what she was doing.

Footsteps became louder as someone walked up behind him, glancing around to see that it was his father. 'You finished then?'

He nodded, taking a place with his son to watch the girl as she led the horse over the other side of the barn where the harnesses were and went back to start on the other mare. 'We can head off once the team is ready. How's Missie doing?'

'See for yourself.' The girl was currying the mare in long strokes, not too harshly but firmly enough to get the dirt and grime out of her coat. 'She knows her way around horses, that's for sure. Pa, what do you think about us giving her a horse? She'll need one to get around anyway if she's going to be staying.'

'I've thought of it but it'll still be awhile before she should be riding. It'll give us enough time to find one suitable for a young lady.'

'I wonder if there's any chance of us finding her step-fathers horses, I think it would mean a lot to her if we could.'

'We've tried but I guess keeping an eye out wouldn't hurt.' He thought for a moment. 'Maybe we could get her help, now that she's doing better. I wonder if she might be able to draw the brand and give accurate descriptions of the horses we might have a chance.'

'I'll talk to her later about it. How'd the doc say she was going?'

'Better. She's healed up better then he expected though she still has to take it easy.'

'What about her mental state? What'd he think about that?'

'He thinks there's slight improvement, he's hoping as am I now that she'll be able to do things for herself it'll help. He did suggest looking into an mental institution-'

'Your not thinking of sending her away are you?'

Ben shook his head. 'Of course not Adam, I said as much to him at his suggestion also. The last thing she needs is for us to send her to a bunch of strangers. No, I was mearily thinking of writing to a few and see if they've got any books or anything else that might help her. I heard her screaming again last night.'

'She had a worse nightmare then usual.' Adam replied after a moment. 'I am worried about her Pa, I remember Joe used to have nightmares when you went away but these are something different from those. I'm just not sure what to do.'

'You'll figure it out son, it's plain to anyone that Missie's grown quite attached to you.'

'The feelings mutual, it's nice having her around instead of me having to keep Little Joe out of trouble all the time.' Missie finished grooming the horse, leading her over to join the other one and his father stepped forward to go harness the horses. He stopped him though, nodding at the girl. 'I want to see how she goes picking the harness for the job.'

Ben frowned slightly, thinking it unusual but didn't question him. 'She did a good job grooming them.'

'I had a feeling she would, Missie doesn't strike me as a shrinking violet when there's work to be done.'

'Hey Adam-' Missie looked over in his direction. 'What kind of vehicle will the team be pulling?'

'We'll be using the light buckboard.' The girl nodded then went over to the harnesses. 'Might be a good idea to see if we've got an old side saddle hanging around once she's able to ride.'

Ben nodded, he'd been thinking the same thing. 'Marie's saddle is in a box in the loft, it should on need an oil.'

'Are you sure Pa? I mean, that was your anniversary present-'

'I'm sure Adam.' He interrupted softly. 'It's only gathering dust up there and I was hoping that giving her something special might help her some.'

'You've thought it through then. I'm sure she'll like it.'

'It'd seem I'm not the only one she's got wrapped around her finger then hey.'

Ben chuckled, watching as the girl confidently harnessed up the team. 'It's daunting I'd admit, I've raised three of you boys but I've never had to raise a daughter. At least you'll only be a brother, you won't have to concern yourself with the raising part.'

'So you are seriously thinking adoption then?'

'If Missie agrees to it. I've been thinking it might help her realise we really do want her, that we do care for her. I would speak to your brothers first but you'd be alright with it, wouldn't you?'

'Of course Pa. You'd be giving her the Cartwright name too?'

'If she wishes so, I really want her to feel like she belongs here, like she is part of the family. Heavens knows she deserves one.'

'Teams ready.' The girl exclaimed, leading them towards the door and she handed the reins to Ben. 'I'll help you get your horse ready Adam.'

'Alright then young lady, I'd appreciate the help.'

She smiled as they walked over to the other stalls, Adam going to the chestnut. 'He's gorgeous. What's his name?'

'Sport.' He rubbed the geldings nose then picked up his saddle blanket to tack the horse up. 'He's one of the fastest horses we've got.'

'He's got spirit, I can tell he'd be a good runner. He's a head shaker too, isn't he?'

'How'd you know that?'

She motioned to the gelding stamping his front hoof. 'He's impatient. He can be slightly skittish, he's not one for the faint of heart to ride. He needs a strong, firm hand but not a person who'll be heavy handed. He's intelligent and with that intelligence he sometimes will question what his rider wants. He's honest, he's got heart and stamina. He's a good match for you.'

Adam looked at her in amazement. She'd been with the horse for less then five minutes and had yet accurately described his disposition. 'Your right, how'd you figure him out?'

'The whorls here on his forehead.' She referred to the two whorls side by side between the horse's eyes. 'Pa taught me to read what they meant, it's a general guide so you have to take the horse as a whole. You observe the horses behaviour, it's attitude and how it's put together.'

'He taught you well then.' The saddle was next, Adam doing the cinch up as the girl bridled the gelding. 'What's your thoughts on the buckskin.'

'Calm, dependable but with heart and spirit. He's your fathers horse.' She frowned, looking at the bridle. 'Adam, I think you need a slightly bigger bridle for him. It's just a tad tight behind his ears, an extra half an inch or so might help his head shaking a little.'

A slight smile of amusement crossed his face. The girl certainly had an air of confidence about her when it concerned working with horses. 'I'll take a look around later and see what I can find. Right now though it's time for us to go, Pa's waiting for us.

Virgina City was just like any other western town the girl had frequented in her travels with her family, the girl looking around as Ben drove the team down main street. She took more notice then she had last time, obviously this time the intent of her visit was a considerably better one then the previous. The street was busy, thick with people and horses and she shuddered a little as Ben stopped the team outside the store. She hated crowds.

'I've got some business to take care of.' Adam exclaimed, stopping his horse next to the buckboard to speak with his father. 'Meet back here in a couple hours?'

'That should be enough time but we'll say noon instead and go for lunch at the hotel.'

'Sounds good. Enjoy your shopping Missie.'

'See you Adam.' She replied as he rode away, Ben stepping down and coming around to give her a hand down. In one fluid motion she was on her feet, smoothing her dress out from sitting on the seat for so long. 'Thank you for letting me drive some Mr. Cartwright, I thoroughly enjoyed it.'

'Your welcome my dear, you certainly handle a team well.'

Missie's cheeks went a tinge of red at the compliment. 'Pa taught me good.'

'I can see he did.' He offered her his arm and they stepped onto the boardwalk and entered the store. There were a few customers inside, Will Cass speaking with a couple while his daughter tidied up one of the displays. 'Morning Sally.'

'Mr. Cartwright.' She smiled. 'Always nice to see you. What can I do for you?'

'Well, we were hoping to get young Missie here some new dresses.'

Sally looked the girl up and down, guessing her to be the one there'd been talk of lately. She looked half terrified, poor thing and she smiled warmly. 'I'm sure we can find you something my dear. Anything in particular you're looking for?'

'I don't want anything too fancy.' She looked up at Ben then back at the woman. 'I'll need boots too.'

'Alright, this way then.' She led them across to where the dresses were, the girl going over to the rack to look while she stayed back to speak with Ben. 'Who is she?'

'Missie Denning, she's been staying with us at the Ponderosa for sometime.'

'Out there on the ranch alone with you boys?'

'There a problem with that?'

'No, no.' She shook her head. 'Just curious is all. How long is she staying?'

'Hopefully permanently, the boys have really taken her under their wing, especially Adam.'

'Where's her family?'

'Missie's an orphan I'm afraid.'

'Mr. Cartwright, what do you think of this one?' Missie questioned, holding up a light yellow dress infront of her.

'I'm not really the best person to be asking I think. Why don't you get Miss Sally's opinion?'

'Miss Sally?'

'I think the colour suits you but there's a lot nicer ones then that one to choose from.'

She shrugged, turning back to the rack. 'The horses don't care if there's ribbons or lace.'

Ben chuckled hearing what she mumbled under her breath. 'Thank you for your help Sally, we'll let you know when we're ready to purchase.'

'Alright, I'll be around if you need me.'

The lady left and he went over to the girl, Missie looking over the rack once again. 'What's the problem?'

'They're all too fancy for someone like me.' She replied, turning away from the rack. 'I'm not good enough to wear those dresses.'

He frowned. 'Who told you that?'

'My Ma. She said that fancy clothes weren't good for a young lady, it'd go to my head.'

Why would she say a thing like that? He wondered then turned his attention back to the girl. 'Well I think you are more then deserving of at least a couple nice dresses, besides, I can't have people thinking I'm not looking after you. You'll need at least three good dresses to keep for special occasions, one for Sunday and a couple extras so you have something else to wear for parties and such.'

'But that's too expensive, I can't expect you to pay for that much for me.'

Ben placed his hand on the girl's shoulder. 'Missie, my dear, I know you're worried about how much it'll cost but you don't need to be concerned. I want to buy you these clothes as a present, you need to have clothes to wear and that's part of my duty as your custodian to make sure your clothed properly. I want you to choose as many dresses and things as you want, you need to have a proper wardrobe. You're starting from scratch, don't forget.'

She sighed heavily then gave in. 'Alright Mr. Cartwright. What about work clothes though? I'll need some for doing stuff around the ranch.'

'I'm sure you know what you need, you just choose what you'd like and I'll pay for it.'

'Thank you.' She turned back to the rack. 'I might be a little while, I'm sure you've probably got other things to do while your here.'

'I do need to order some supplies so I'll leave you to it then.'

Missie nodded and he walked away, the girl turning back to the dresses. She felt a little overwhelmed, she'd never had free rein to choose anything as extravagant as an entire wardrobe of clothes. Not even when her Ma had married had they had the luxury of being able to buy so many clothes. Money had been tight, even with how well her Pa had been with managing it. Having the money to buy whatever she wanted was definitely a new feeling.

'Oh look, it's the orphan girl.'

She could hear a couple of girls giggling behind her, glancing around at them. They didn't appear to be much older then she was but they certainly had an attitude about them she knew all too well. Nope, they weren't even worth it. She turned back to the dresses, deciding to ignore them and figure out which dresses to choose.

'Think you're too good for us hey?' The elder girl gouded, her sister egging her on. 'Why don't you go to an orphanage where you belong?'

Missie kept ignoring them, hoping they'd leave her alone if she didn't retaliate and finally they did in disgust. She smiled smugly as they walked away, long ago she'd learnt ignoring was the best thing to do. If it turned into fistacuffs, well, she didn't start them but she sure could finish them.

Finally she'd picked four dresses from the rack then had a look at the rest of the clothing. She needed underthings too but there wasn't much available in the way of that except for corsets. She chose a couple that'd fit her and added it to the bundle across her arm. She'd sew the rest of what she needed and so she went to choose some material.

'How's it going?'

'Well, I've got these four and a couple corsets.' She replied, glancing up at Ben. 'Now I'm choosing some material for petticoats and such. I'll have something to do in the evening now, I'll be able to do sewing.'

'How about I take these over to the counter for you then?'

'That'd be great, thank you.'

She turned back to the shelf, her fingers lingering over a light lavender print. Lavender was her favourite colour, she'd had a dress her Ma had made her for her eleventh birthday that had been lavender. Little flowers were embroidered through the material and she ran her fingers over it again. The material looked expensive but it was pretty and she really wanted it. It'd be perfect for a church or dance dress depending on what she chose. Finally the longing wore out and she added it to the plain calico she needed for her undergarments. It'd been almost an hour already and yet she had only just started choosing what she needed.

'How'd it go?'

'Well, we finally got her everything she needed.' Ben replied as Adam got up to pull out Missie's seat for her. 'I hope we didn't keep you waiting too long.'

'No, I just got here myself. I was worried you'd have been here waiting for me. What'd you choose Missie?'

'Mostly practical but a few pretty dresses.' She smiled as he pushed her seat in for her. 'Your father was very generous.'

'Well you needed clothes and I was happy to purchase them for you.' A lady came over to take their order and after a short conversation their meals had been ordered. 'How'd it go with the contract Adam?'

'Good, I'll have to go to the logging camps for a few days and see how the work is going.'

'When will that be?'

'I thought I'd leave tomorrow, there's a mountain of work to be done.'

Missie was a little apprehensive at that news. 'How long will you be gone?'

'A week, maybe a little longer.'

'Oh. I see.'

'I thought I saw you folks come in.' Roy exclaimed as he walked over, motioning to an empty chair. 'Mind if I join you?'

'Not at all.' Ben replied. 'We'd be glad to have you.'

'Thank you Ben. How have you been Missie?'

'Better Sheriff, thank you for asking.'

'The docs real happy how she's doing.' Adam added, noticing the emotionless look on the girls face. He could take a guess she wasn't happy he'd be going but he didn't get much choice in the matter. Work had been piling up as of late, the timber contract was very important though. If they didn't get the timber cut in time they wouldn't meet the deadline and there would be an expensive penalty. 'Still has to take it easy but she's back on her feet.'

'That's good, real good.' He nodded at her. 'I came over to give you back something that I believe belongs to you.' The girl raised an eyebrow as he pulled a wrapped up item from his jacket pocket. 'I thought you might want it back.'

Missie was silent as he placed the item on the table, a shiver running down her spine as she recognised the shape under the cloth. Slowly she reached for it and unfolded the cloth from around it. Tears came to her eyes as she picked up her pistol, rubbing her thumb over the engraving then held it against her. The only item left of a life past was her pistol from her tenth birthday. A life far from the one she had now, a chapter of her life forever closed. 'Thank you.'