Sweet Melodies

Chapter One

Kawaki

Love. It was the worst thing anyone could ever experience. Truthfully, it could bring about the happiest of times, but it could bring about so many nasty emotions as well. The way I looked at it, there were a lot more cons than pros, but some people were blissfully unaware of that. I'd learned the hard way…

There's that old saying, better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all… but that was nonsense, a rouse to make people believe it was worth a shot. As if being forced to love your family wasn't enough heartache, people should put themselves out there for a complete stranger, fall in love only to be left as half the person they were before.

Yeah… I learned the hard way and I knew I'd never be the same guy I used to be.

The only thing constant in my life was pain and then there was the fleeting but overwhelming guilt that consumed me on occasion. Once, there was a time when I was like everyone else, when I was blissfully unaware and happy. I loved. I loved so much… and then I lost. The grief I felt from the loss far exceeded any amount of joy I ever experienced. I regretted it. I wished from the bottom of my black heart that I'd never been foolish enough to give in to such idiotic feelings.

Some days I was numb. I didn't feel anything. But other days, the pain was brutal.

I was in my second year of college, a young man who truly had nothing to live for who, somehow, wasn't willing to throw his life away. I wanted to live… I didn't understand why, but that's just how I felt. I knew I didn't want to die… death was even emptier than I was, so it wasn't something I looked forward to. So, I kept myself going, attending my classes and living my life as I had before the worst of the pain wedged it's way into my soul.

Things had changed so much though. I distanced myself from everyone left in my life, erecting walls so strong that nobody dared to even think about approaching me. It was a dull life I was living… but I was here. I was alive. It wasn't fair. It wasn't just. But it was reality. My life had been spared—no, saved. Twice now. No matter what, I wasn't stupid enough to throw it away after coming so close to losing it.

Most of the time though, I didn't really feel like I was living. I was here… but nothing much more than that. The only thing I enjoyed doing, wasn't even enjoyable anymore. That didn't stop me from doing it though. Music was the only passion I had left and whether I felt passionate about it anymore or not wasn't the issue. It was just something I couldn't let go. My guitar was always on my person, even if I wasn't always playing. I recorded my own songs and when I was feeling particularly depressed, instead of playing, I listened to my playlist and sang along to it.

After lunch I had a free period before my next class and every day, I wandered outside away from everyone to my favorite hiding place. It was just under an old cherry blossom tree that was one of many in Japan, but it was the only one that meant anything to me. Because it was the only place of solace I'd found after everything went to hell. I dropped my bag and my guitar case and rested against the trunk of the tree as I dug my earbuds out of my vest pocket and slipped them in my ears. I started my playlist and closed my eyes, the music bringing me immediate peace and comfort.

Yes, this was all I had… this I couldn't let go.

As much as I loathed it, every song I wrote reflected my pain—a pain so agonizing not many could understand. A pain like carving out your own heart, piece by piece until there was nothing left. But I made it interesting, my faded passion not any less skillful than it ever had been. There were times when I surprisingly wanted to cry… I just wanted to let loose, I wanted to feel, to express myself through emotion. Instead, I always ended up with a new song. I didn't have it in me to form any tears.

I sighed to myself, moving to lay flat on the ground with my eyes still closed. I hummed along to the song for a bit before starting to sing the lyrics aloud. It was the softest song I'd ever composed… a song that I'd written before the worst of the pain arrived. It was my favorite song because it reminded me of the time I was blissfully unaware—the time when I could actually feel things. It had come to me so naturally and even now, it flowed off my tongue with ease.

Easy as it was… I wondered to myself why even this song couldn't bring about the tears. If only I could cry, even just one time… maybe I could let it all go. By the time I finished the first verse, I was completely engrossed, my hand laying over my heart as I harmonized with my recorded self. I didn't hold back, I never did. I just let it all out, pouring myself into the song and feeling the words resonate in my mind and soul.

So maybe I used to be a sap… and as much as I couldn't stand the thought of love, all of my songs were about just that. Most of them were about the bad side of the feeling, but this one in particular was about the good… that deceitful rapture that most people couldn't live without.

And yet here I was, wishing I'd never had to experience the mess. Yes… I was a man full of regrets.

Once I finished singing the song, I hummed along to the guitar's melody until it was finished and then slowly opened my eyes to stare up at the blossoming Sakura tree, but instead I found myself staring into the bluest eyes. I blinked, for a moment thinking I was seeing things, great now I'm having hallucinations. But no, there was a boy leaning over me, those blue eyes of his sparkling in amazement. He was close. Way too close.

I didn't avert my eyes, but I pulled the earbuds from my ears and yawned, suddenly sleepy. "Do you mind?" I didn't know who this guy was… but I'd been pretty sure that I'd frightened everyone away from me by now…

"I just can't believe it." The blonde said. "All this time I've been searching for the perfect voice and it was right under my nose . . . how long have you been on campus? Where have you been hiding? Hell, what's your name?"

So many questions… this guy was crazy and still too close. "Back up." I scoffed, pushing at his chest though gently. When he sat back, I sat up and sighed. So much for my hiding spot. "How did you find me?"

"Oh, I've been looking for awhile." The blonde smiled. "Those are some amazing vocal chords you have, I even got goosebumps!" He said and rolled up his sleeve to show me.

My brows twitched and I looked away with another sigh. "Shouldn't you be at lunch or something?" I didn't have time for people… and this guy… something about him set my nerves on edge.

"Eh, this is way more important than food. So what's your name? I'm Boruto." He introduced.

"I'm nobody. Forget you ever saw me." I grumbled and laid back down, rolling on my side away from him.

"You're so cool." The guy, Boruto, said excitedly. "A man with a killer voice who sings to no one, I love it. What was the song you were singing before? I've never heard it. Do you sing professionally, or-" He gasped. "Are you a music major too? That would be awesome! What if we have a lot in common, you know? We could be friends."

This amount of enthusiasm couldn't be healthy. "Forget the song. Forget me singing. Forget me. I'm not a music major and I don't want to be friends." In a matter of seconds, this guy had spoken more to me than anyone had in months. It was unsettling.

"Come on, don't be like that." Boruto said and leaned over me again. "This is one of those chance meetings. Fate. I can feel it in my gut, you're the one."

The one? The blood drained from my face and I rolled back onto my back to look at him. How could anyone be so happy when they were dealing with a guy like me? "There's no such thing as fate and I'm far from the one. Whatever the hell that means."

"The one I've been looking for!" Boruto exclaimed, not at all put off. "Haven't you been listening? Look, I'm in need of a vocalist and after hearing your voice I've got to have you. What do you say? I'm sure a badass like you would fit right in."

"I'm not your guy." I deadpanned. "Keep looking."

The blonde sighed and sat back up. "Well . . . I tried. Can I at least get your name now that you've utterly and completely rejected me?"

I frowned, not understanding why he wanted to know my name so badly. But if he asked around about me, that would only help keep him away. "Kawaki."

Boruto grinned brightly before he stood. "That wasn't so hard, right? See you tomorrow, Kawaki-kun!"

I jolted up, gaping at the back of the blonde as he ran off. What the hell did he call me… and I just know he didn't say he was coming back tomorrow… he obviously had a few loose screws under that messy hair. I sighed yet again, completely dejected. I didn't need anyone like him around me… he was way too happy.

The rest of my day was back in order, nothing strange or blonde happening—thankfully. After my classes, I walked home slowly, it taking the same half hour it always took to get to my apartment. I had a part time job at a local music store where I worked the afternoon shift, having just enough time to grab a bite to eat before heading in every other day. I really didn't like dealing with people at all, but thankfully I didn't have to do much of that with my job. And I did have to work, otherwise I would be homeless and starve.

My shift was the usual, uneventful. When I returned to my apartment, I cooked myself a simple dinner, showered and then sat on the floor with my guitar, playing until I finally found myself growing tired enough to sleep. I got into bed and laid on my side, knowing it was late. I was beat, but it still took me another hour or maybe longer before I fell asleep.

The next day came too quickly, but that's just how things went. Time was relentless, constant, annoying. My morning class was the same as always, boring, pointless. Afterwards, I grabbed a drink out of the vending machine and headed outside, my sights set on my hiding spot. I made my way there slowly, drank my drink and then pulled out my guitar. It was a nice day, such a shame it was so… lifeless. Or was it?

Shrugging off my wayward thoughts, I started playing and soon started singing my own song. Ever since I could write my own music, I never sang anyone else's. I loved what I created, even if I hated it at the same time and I never wanted to let it go. This was the only time I could lose myself… I could forget and pretend like I was moving past the past and looking towards the future. But really, I was just getting by. Today's song wasn't as light, it was dark actually, angry, a quick tempo with constant changing bars that I really enjoyed. I rested against the tree, closing my eyes as I succumbed to the music, forgetting everything else, if only for the time being.

However everything came crashing down after the last note sounded, a familiar voice making itself known. "You play guitar too, this just keeps getting better! Did you write that song too, Kawaki-kun?"

"What the hell?" I opened my eyes to glare at the intruder, trying to figure out why he thought he had the right to call me that—and why it made my ears burn. "Where did you come from?"

"Your dreams." Boruto winked and then laughed at the face I made. "I'm kidding, obviously. So how long have you been playing for? Can you play an electric guitar too?"

"Stop with the questions. None of it matters." I huffed, unbelievably embarrassed to have him coming at me like this. It had been a long time since anyone acted like I was something special. "You can go now."

Boruto got comfortable instead and dug into the bag he had with him. "Eh, why would I do that when you're here?" He pulled out two lunch boxes, one pink and one red. "Hungry? Can I bribe you with food?"

"Not a chance." I scoffed, though couldn't prevent my eyes from glancing at the boxes. I was a little hungry maybe. I scowled at the boxes before reaching over and snatching up the red one. "This doesn't mean anything."

"Of course not." Boruto smiled and opened up the pink one. "I'd like to say something moving like I made it for you myself, but I can't cook for shit."

I rolled my eyes as I opened the box now resting on my leg. I didn't give a damn who cooked it, as long as it tasted good. Without wasting any time, I grabbed the provided chopsticks and started eating. It was delicious and I assumed it showed on my face from the way Boruto was grinning at me, leaning far too close, eyes sparkling.

"Too close." I muttered, using my elbow to push him and put some distance between us.

"Oh, you're shy. I get it." Boruto nodded and had a few bites of his own food. "There's nothing wrong with saying you like it, though. I know how good it is and would only offer you the best."

"I'm not shy." I snapped. "I just don't like the way you stare at me all happy like. Stop it."

The blonde blinked at me before schooling his features. "I can be serious. See, look. No smiling. No laughing. Only . . ." The sides of his mouth twitched. "Only dark clouds and r-rain." Not a moment later he busted out laughing.

This guy… he was insane… and somehow… my lips were twitching. No way. I coughed to get myself together and shook my head at his antics before having some rice. I chewed, swallowed and then glanced back at him. "This was considerate of you, but it's not going to change my mind. I don't want to be your friend or anything else."

"How come?" He asked and pointed his thumb up at himself. "I'm a pretty good guy, you know? Trustworthy. Honest. Get to know me and you'll see. I would be a good friend."

"I'm a loner for a reason, okay? I don't like people. It doesn't matter who." I said and looked around at the bento full of goodies to decide what to go for next.

"But you like music and that's all that really matters."

"Maybe I do… maybe I don't. It doesn't matter." I shrugged. "I'm not going to change my mind. Period."

Boruto hummed and took a few more bites. "You're stubborn for sure, but I stand by what I said. This is fate. I'm going to get you to become my lead vocalist, believe it."

His determination was impressive. "You have a band?" I asked before I could stop myself.

"Yep and I'm the leader." He grinned proudly. "We're pretty cool too."

"What do you play?" Or better yet… why the hell was I asking?

"Curious?" He mused cheekily and leaned over again. "Come join and find out."

My face set in a scowl and I turned my nose up. "No thanks."

"Damn, thought I had you that time." Boruto said and sat back.

He most certainly didn't. I couldn't believe this guy, he was something else and I was done with having this useless conversation. Without another word, I started eating, faster. If he wouldn't leave, I would.

"Whoa, you really were hungry." Boruto observed and then held out his lunch box. "You can have mine too if you want."

My lips fell apart at the gesture and I stared at him, trying to understand him, but that didn't seem possible. He really was hard to read, or maybe I was just out of practice. Either way, I just couldn't… "Sorry, I almost wish I could help you. But I can't." I said as I put the chopsticks in the box and closed it. I sat it beside him and then got to my feet. "Thanks for the food."

"You're welcome . . ." Boruto trailed, looking at me carefully. "See you later, Kawaki-kun."

That honorific has me flinching yet again, but instead of commenting on it, I put away my guitar and gathered my things, hoping I wouldn't be seeing him again. I was going to have to find a new hiding place.