π°πππ·πΎπ'π π½πΎππ΄
Thank you for the reviews! You guys review fast, I love it. Also, sorry for the errors last chapter. There were only 2 but it still bothered me. I really need to stop writing when I'm half asleep. Maybe I should get my editor to proof read these before I publish lol
ππ°ππ½πΈπ½πΆ
This chapter contains blood, abuse, and self harm. It isn't in too much detail and the scenes aren't long.
π²ππππππ π·πΈ
Today was Trixie's mother's last day staying in New York. It was short, but not sweet. Trixie felt bad for feeling this way, but the girl was happy her mom was finally leaving. All she did was hurt her daughter's feelings. If she wasn't doing that, she was out. Occasionally, she would catch her mom drinking, but she'd shoo her out before she could see what it was.
That morning Trixie ate a hot pocket she found in the freezer for breakfast. Jake didn't come, which she expected. She didn't really want to talk to him now, anyway. To Trixie, nothing felt real. Nothing felt exciting. She figured that feeling would go away once she woke up a bit more.
Her mom wobbled down the stairs, reeking of alcohol. She looked as if she received no sleep and her hair wasn't even brushed. That made Trixie upset. She never knew her mom to let herself go like that.
"It's 6AM, why are you drunk?" Trixie asked.
Her mom took a seat. "I'm not drunk, just a hang over," her words slurred.
Trixie shook her head. "Sure it is."
"Are you getting fresh with me?"
She took a bite of her hot pocket. "No," she replied, mouth full.
"God, you're just like your father." Dorothy took Trixie's hot pocket. "And eating this shit. Who knows how much sodium is in it?"
"What does Daddy have to do with any of this?" Trixie grabbed her breakfast back. "And maybe I wouldn't have to eat this shit if you bought groceries! Maybe if you lived here and never left me in the first place I'd be your little perfect daughter!"
Suddenly, Dorothy slapped her across the face. Trixie gasped, speechless. "Don't you ever speak to me like that!"
Tears ran down Trixie's face as a hand print began to appear. "I hate you!" she yelled, standing up. "I'm glad you're leaving, I hate you!"
Dorothy stood, too, pushing Trixie into the cabinet. Her back hit the corner, making it hard to breathe. The pain shot through her body. "You think I like being here?" her mom yelled back.
Trixie made her cried audible. She cried louder and louder. She managed to say, "What did I ever do to you?"
"Shut up before the neighbors hear. Get your ass ready for school, see if you can learn something for once." Her mom started to make her way back upstairs.
"I do learn things," Trixie collapsed on her hands and knees, "I'm smart. But you wouldn't know that since you're never here!"
"I said shut up!" Dorothy threw her shoe, aiming right at her head. She missed but the shock caused Trixie to inhale too hard, too quickly. She heaved and coughed up some blood as her mom walked up the rest of the stairs.
Jake walked to school alone after being lectured by his parents once they found out he had been "absent" for a few extra days than the spell was supposed to last. He was just glad it was Friday; he couldn't deny he was a little depressed. Okay, very depressed. There seemed to be no way he could make it up to poor Rose now.
Trixie saw her friend walking a small distance ahead. Her solid black hoodie was pulled over head. The anger for Jake subsided and in the moment, she was so happy to see her best friend.
It hurt to run, so she tried to walk her fastest while calling out weakly, "Jake, Jake!"
Jake turned around. "Trixie?" She almost looked unrecognizable.
She finally caught up to him. "Jake, hi."
He furrowed his eyebrows. "I took your advice."
"You did?"
"Yeah, thanks to you she's pissed at me! I should've never listened and took my own pace."
Trixie was crestfallen. "Jakey . . ."
"Save it, okay? I got my own shit to deal with, bother someone else." He walked away, faster this time.
She was left there to stand in shock. Trixie decided to walk to school another way.
Rose didn't talk to Jake all day, which anyone could expect. She looked extra beautiful that day in a black dress layered over a grey turtleneck. He couldn't take his eyes off her, daydreaming of a world where they could be together. Where none of this happened. He didn't even notice Trixie was gone.
She was at the skatepark, skipping school. She sat alone against the rock where Jake sat when she found out him and Rose broke up. She wanted to tell someone what happened between her and her mom. Jake was the perfect person. They told each other every for the longest time. Guess it didn't matter.
Trixie wanted to cry, but couldn't. Tears threatened to fall, yet never came out. Her hand slowly rubbed the spot her mom slapped. It still stung.
"Trixie?" a voice said. Trixie turned around to see Brad. She gave him a disgusted look and turned back around. "Damn," he said, "kinda rude."
"Good," she replied, "I meant it to be that way."
"What'd I do to you?" She didn't answer. Anyone an enemy of her friends is an enemy of her's. Brad sat on top of the rock and looked down at her. "Didn't take you as the kind to skip school."
"Fuck off. Mind your business."
He held his chest dramatically. "That hurt."
"Good. Now leave me alone."
He ignored her response. "Where's your weird friends?"
"Up your ass," she scoffed.
"Hey, that's a privilege and an honor."
She looked up at him. "Gross."
"Like your outfit." Brad pulled down her hoodie. "What're you wearing?"
Trixie quickly put her hood back over her head. She looked at her sleeves. Paint was on the hoodie and some holes were, too. "Can you leave?"
"No. I'm bored."
"Then go to school."
"What about you?"
Trixie sighed, "I am really not in the mood right now."
He joked immaturely, "That's not what you're mom said last night."
Trixie stood up in anger. The last thing she wanted to hear was the word "mom". "Brad, do you not know when to stop? No wonder Jake can't stand you, you ought to be the most annoying motherfucker out here!"
Brad was taken aback. No one ever stood up to him like this. Some of his humanity returned to him when he saw Trixie's sad expression replace her angry one. She looked lost. "Trixie, I didn't mean to make you so mad."
She yelled, "Well, what'd you expect when you won't leave someone alone? They get angry!"
"Yeah, yeah. I get it." He stood up as well, putting his hands in his pockets. "Wanna tell me what's up?"
"Yeah, right." Trixie stormed off back home. She prayed her mom wouldn't be home.
Trixie unlocked her house with her keys. She called out to see if anyone was home. No answer. She ran up the stairs into her grandmother's room. The door was slightly opened. Her grandmother was asleep without her hearing aids.
Tears rolled down Trixie's cheeks. She just wanted to talk to someone. No one called to see why she wasn't at school. Did anyone even care?
She ran back down the stairs to the kitchen to get something, then ran in her room and shut the door. She held a kitchen knife in front of her face. It was small, but sharp. Her hands trembled, bringing it closer to her wrist. She was scared. Still, she really wanted to do this.
She hated everyone in the moment: her friends for not calling, her mom for hurting her, Brad for teasing. Doom was in the pit of her stomach. Like no one cared. Not even herself cared for herself.
Swiftly, the knife ran across her wrist, barely breaking the skin. Her hand lowered to do it again, that's when her phone rang.
The girl dropped the knife, staring at it with her eyes wide. As if she was finally realizing and questioning what she was doing. She backed up and picked up her phone. It was Spud! Spud called. He actually cared.
She wiped her tears and answered, "Hello?"
"Hey, Trix."
"Hi, Spud!" she said cheerfully.
"You know our psychology class we have together?" he whispered.
She sniffed, "Yeah." Expecting him to ask where she was.
"I didn't know we had homework. Can you slip me the answers real quick? She's about to collect papers."
Trixie's smile flipped upside down. "Spudinski, fuck you." She hung up the phone. Trixie ran to her bed and covered her body up to her face with her blankets.
After school Jake tried to talk to Rose. He saw her talking to Lilly outside. She had a smile on her face as she held her books to her chest, chatting. Jake walked to them with confidence. "Hey, Lilly. Hey, Rose."
Rose looked at him then back at Lilly, not saying a word. Lilly tilted her head. "Who are you?"
"Remember me? I saw you in the locker room."
Lilly blushed. "Locker room?!" She threw her pencil at him.
Jake tried to block it with his forearms. "What'd you do that for-" She threw another, then another. Where was she getting all these pencils from? Jake finally got the message and walked away. He wondered what was her problem then realized she doesn't know that he was Jackie. Jake slid his hands down his face. Now she thinks he's some creep.
Jake walked up to Spud and Alicia. Spud waved, "What's up, Jake."
"Jake, you'll never believe this," Alicia began, "I got an A on my algebra test!"
"That's great." He fake smiled.
"You wanna walk Alicia home with me?" Spud asked him.
More than ever Jake just wanted to be alone but in order to not give away that he's sad, he agreed. The three walked away from the school in silence. No one really had much to say. It was like starting a conversation was impossible, but why? That barely happens.
"I feel like we're missing something," Alicia stated.
"I'm missing food," Spud said. "I'm hungry."
"I'll see if my mom cooked something," Alicia suggested. "You can come, too, Jake. If you're not still mad at her."
"I can come, we're on good terms. But I'm not eating anything she gives me again."
She agreed, "Understandable." Alicia turned to Spud. "Should I take AP Psychology next year? I heard it's fun."
"It sucks for me. I forgot there was homework and Trixie wouldn't even give me the-"
"Trixie!" Alicia yelled. "We're missing Trixie!"
"How could we forget?" Spud rhetorically asked.
"Oh," Jake muttered, remembering what he said to her earlier. He felt bad but shoved it down with anger. That's when he remembered the state she was in earlier when he saw her. She didn't look so good.
"Do you know why she's not here?" Alicia asked them. Spud shrugged.
Jake answered, "No, but I saw her earlier on my way to school."
"Is she sick or something?" she asked.
He replied, "I'm not sure."
"We should check on her," Alicia mentioned.
Jake wanted to make sure she was okay but the other half of him felt to guilty to face her. Jake knew all Trixie wanted was the best for him. All his life she's been preaching what's right and wrong to Jake even if no one else wanted to tell him. Deep down, he knew Trixie was right and telling Rose the truth was the right thing to do even if it had a bad outcome. A bad outcome was inevitable in a situation such as this.
"Yeah. We should," Jake agreed. Seeing Trixie was the right thing to do, despite how he felt.
After a short walk, the three knocked on her door. Trixie and her grandmother were sleeping deeply. Jake opened their mailbox. Alicia asked, "what are you doing?"
Jake smirked and held up an object. "Spare key," he said. "Always keeps it here."
"Wow, you must know her pretty well," she said.
Spud added, "Yeah. I didn't even know that was there."
Jake thought about how they were right as he jiggled the key into the lock. Trixie was his good friend. He definitely had to apologize the second he saw her.
The three quietly stepped in and closed the door behind them, like they were robbing the place. They tip toed upstairs. Trixie's door was closed. They opened it slowly, it let out a large squeak. They froze. Trixie didn't wake up. They sighed in unison and walked in.
"Aww, she's sleeping," Alicia cooed.
"Aww?" Spud questioned while trying not to laugh. "She's drooling."
"Okay? Still cute."
Jake exhaled, relieved she was alright. Just sleeping soundly, sprawled on the bed with the sheets over her. Only her head and some limbs poled out from the blanket.
Her right arm hung off the bed, limp. He looked closer. Her wrist had an open wound with a bit of dried up blood. More dried blood was on the floor, leading a trail. Jake followed the trail to the corner of the room. There laid a kitchen knife.
Jake covered his mouth with a shaking hand. Alicia and Spud looked at him weird, soon after noticing what he was looking at. Spud was speechless. Alicia ran over to the knife and examined it.
"Where did this blood come from?" she asked.
Jake silently pointed to their friend's wrist, who was now waking up due to Alicia speaking in a normal tone instead of a whisper. Trixie gasped instead of a scream. Disoriented, she yelled, "Who are you?!"
Jake knelt by her bedside. "It's me, Jake! It's just me." He tried to breathe along with her, slowing his breaths so she'd follow.
"Why are you here?" She hid her wrist under her bed.
"To check on you," Spud said.
"Listen, Trix," Jake began, blaming himself for her cutting. "I'm so sorry for what I said this morning. I was mad. Mad because you were right. Telling the truth was a good thing. You had nothing to do with the outcome, the outcome was my fault. I shouldn't have done what I've done to Rose." Jake never liked to cry in front of people, like any other teenage boy, but he couldn't help it. "You were right, Trix. You're one of the bestest friend I would've asked for. Please, never hurt yourself like this because of an idiot like me."
Trixie didn't know how to react when he hugged her, crying on her shoulder. He wasn't crying hard, but it was still the most she's seen him cry in a long time. He held on tight.
Alicia teared up. "Trixie, we care about you so much. I'm sorry we were being bad friends. We should have checked up on you, that's our fault, not yours."
Spud stared at his feet, also feeling immense guilt. "Trixie, I should have called you for a better reason. Not some stupid homework. I'm not good with apologies, but I really am sorry."
Trixie didn't know how to react once again. No one has given her this much attention. Sure, what they did hurt and did contribute, but the main factor was her mother. She didn't want to tell them what happened, though. Her mother was gone, so in her eyes there was no reason to bring it up.
"Thanks, guys," she said. "Thank you so much." Jake was hugging the bruise on her back too tight. She winced, "Jake!"
"Sorry!" He pulled back.
All four stayed at her home for the next hour, ordering some pizza and watched a movie. It helped Trixie forget about her mom for awhile. It helped Jake forget about Rose for awhile.
Jake looked at his friends in appreciation. He could always learn something from them and even when he screwed up, they always found a way to forgive him.
Hope that wasn't too intense for anyone, I apologize if it was. On a more positive note: my consistency is immaculate. It's a day later and I have out the next chapter! I'm amazing. Pats on the back for me. I try to keep these chapters 3k to 4k words. If you want longer or shorter let me know. Also, if there's errors, I apologize. I reread these so many times yet there's still errors. So annoying.