This one is really painful, suspenseful, and a bit of a cliffhanger. Sorry for the drama. Enjoy! Review with your thoughts.
Alec giggled again. Drunk as a mundie. He'd be disgusted with himself once the hangover was gone. But after Magnus...well, Alec preferred no to think about that. After Magnus, Alec had night terrors, until falling asleep became something he talked to the Silent Brothers about. They told him to just let the past go. He had started screaming at them, shouting obscenities, until he knocked himself out with his own flailing fist.
Then he turned to drink. At least now, when his mind was muddled by alcohol, the fog in his head was too thick for the dreams to get through. He had cut ties with all but one Shadowhunter. Clary. It hurt too much to look at Jace, or Simon, or even his own sister. But Clary kept being there, even when he hit her.
He had never done it again. He had started to cry, highly intoxicated, after he did it. Then she slapped him right back. And that was what made him let her in. She never gave up on him. When he wouldn't leave Magnus's apartment, she gave him drugged wine, and then dragged him away and had Catarina spell the door closed permanently.
But now Alec couldn't stop. And Clary had become, um, distracted with Jace, who he couldn't see. So he wallowed among the mundanes, letting the occasional girl kiss him. He had tried to see if boys still held his heart. But every time he kissed one, Magnus filled his head. And that was far too painful. So he had stopped looking.
But on this particular night, Alec had no money for the drinks he usually had. Nothing. So he went to sleep, sober for the first time in a year and a half. "Three nights." He mumbled to himself. "Three nights to be sober. Unbelievable." But as he laid his head down on the pillow, with no strength to go to a bar and be miserable, a vision flashed across his eyes.
Magnus laughed, his eyes alight with love. Alec had returned the easy, truly joyful laugh. Max had grinned, confused but happy. Rafe, little grump that he was, had rolled his eyes, but Alec saw the smirk that crawled onto his face. Alec bit his lip, and leaned forward. Magnus met his lips with a careful ease. Alec had drifted to someplace amazing, but he was already there. That place was anywhere Magnus was.
Alec's eyes snapped open, tears already sliding down his filthy cheeks. He didn't want to go back to sleep, but the exhaustion quickly claimed him. Unwillingly, Alec closed his eyes.
"Alexander, let me tell you something." Magnus had said, and Alec grinned.
"Sure." He said, then kissed his husband as Magnus's mouth opened to continue speaking. When Alec let him continue, the mood was light and happy. "Being human is hard, but the immortal life is harder. So much to see, so much to do, way to much time to do it. Way to many people to love. Way to many ways to get hurt. But with you, Alexander, I feel free. That immortalily is suddenly worth it. As a mundane, I never would have met you." A smile had crossed Alec's face at that. Again, he leaned in…
And so it went on, dreams that were causing him pain. His only love… so far away. To far. He would always be too far. But the next day, Alec got some money, bought some drinks, and got drunk again, trying to drown the painful memories. But they were like tape. They stuck. And it hurt to much to bear. So Alec had to find the only person who wouldn't be mad at him for abandoning him for so long. "Time to face your fears, Alec." He muttered to himself. Off to Jace's, then.