Thank you to those who have come around for this wild ride with us but sadly it is now coming to a close. I'll try and have a small epilogue up for ya'll when I can but for now this is the end of this fic, though may have a possible sequel come along at some point when things get less hectic for myself.
It was a pleasure working with Kat throughout this fic, if it wasn't for her it wouldn't have gone anywhere. Again, thank you to our readers and followers we appreciate every one of you.
Take care and till next time!
Waiting outside the apartment block in his car, Kai sat staring right at the entrance door, arm up rested by the window seemingly relaxed but his fingers were drumming restlessly to show his nerves.
Why he was so apprehensive he wasn't entirely sure. He was simply taking Thomas out presumably for pizza or whatever else he fancied, so long as he could dunk it in ketchup, and more than likely a bowl of ice cream for afterwards.
He'd done it a whole bunch of times, but it wasn't that that was the problem, it was more so the fact he'd had to drive somewhere to come and get him in the first place. Like he was some weekend dad picking up his son from his ex-partner's house.
The whole notion hadn't sat right with him, he was a little ashamed if he was honest, but with everything going on it really was for the best at the moment. Even if deep down all he wanted was for both Thomas and Ray to be at home with him, where they belonged.
Ray had seemed fine with him on the phone, Kai thought anyways. Whether that was due to hearing from him or because now he was actually happy to not be under his roof anymore he wasn't sure of either. He guessed Friday would tell all, since the two hadn't really spoken all that much since... He went and fucked up again.
It's like he couldn't go a few weeks without royally screwing up things. Finally had something good in his life but his inner saboteur clearly thinks he doesn't deserve it so causes him to act out.
He just needed some calm, and stability. Hell, they all did.
He was dragged from his musings when the car door opened and in jumped the chirpy bundle. That deep in his thoughts Kai hadn't even realised Thomas and Ray had come out of the building and walked along right in front of him.
"Hiiii uncle Kai!"
"Hey buddy." He sent to the rear view mirror before turning over his shoulder to see Ray strapping him in his seat.
"Hey..."
Throwing a smile over his shoulder at the clear surprised expression sitting on Kai's face, finishing up Thomas's harness for his seat, Ray sent a simple 'hey' back at him before turning right back to Thomas.
"Remember what I said, okay? You be good and I'll see you later tonight." He instructed while ruffling Thomas's hair, shutting the door behind him and taking the two steps to the side to Kai's window that was promptly rolled down for him.
"It looks like Tala and I might be heading out later with Julia, too. So when you're ready to bring him back just call me and we'll make sure to be here for you. His stuff is in the back, right?"
Kai didn't know which statement to address first so just provided a dumb nod to cover them both which had Ray sending him another smile before swiftly taking himself to retrieve the packed duffel bag from the trunk.
He took in a breath, shooting Thomas a glance through the rear view mirror as he entertained himself with an action figure and used the opportunity Ray was gone to collect himself.
Why he was so damn nervous he wasn't sure. He felt like he had so much to say but couldn't get none of it out.
When Ray was back at his window, bag in hand, Kai cleared his throat and tried to appear as nonchalant as he always was as he spoke.
"So, how have you been?"
Ray's shoulders went up some, on the verge of complaining how sleeping on the couch was giving him more back pain than twirling around poles ever did. That Tala was an earlier bird than even he and Thomas were and he enjoyed his mornings loud with his music nearly at full blast and always woke them both up.
That trying to share one bathroom between three people was actually fixing to drive him insane, and how he couldn't stand another pizza night.
He bit his tongue on all of that though. He didn't want the simple 'well come home then' thrown at him, nor did he want to sound ungrateful for Tala letting him and Thomas stay.
"I'm here. Are you doing okay, after today?" He asked.
Kai let his gaze break off and lower some at all that being brought up again and sitting unwelcome at the forefront of his mind. Not that he ever would forget the events of today, but he'd give it one hell of a good go.
"I'm here." He copied, tone seeming defeated and over the subject before it had even really started.
Ray recognized the look and the tone, it wasn't a good one but with Thomas sat behind Kai he probably wasn't going to say much more on the matter.
"Okay, well I'll let you two head off. Sure you're hungry too." He gave, shifting the bag on his shoulder a little and felt a weird twist in his stomach at his own words.
He shook it off. Wasn't like he hadn't wanted this in a way. This distance to collect themselves some. Didn't mean it didn't hurt all the same.
"And eat, please." Not that he was in much of a position to demand that of Kai right now but seeing as how they were both still wearing their rings maybe he did.
"And be careful. And call if you need anything, okay?" He spewed more.
It was only faint but a corner of Kai's mouth lifted at the clear concern radiating from the other. Almost seemed like Ray actually cared with the way he was mothering him right now.
"I will." He simply said, once again covering everything that had been sent his way like a whirlwind.
"I'll let you know when we're heading back, kay?"
"Okay." Ray sent, checking Thomas in the back with his action figure. "Bye Thomas, see you soon." He got a quick wave through the window and turned back to Kai.
"I love you. Have a good time."
Three words that had been exchanged between them countless times actually caused Kai to pause for a moment as he reached for the hand break. The same swirl within his stomach coming to light again like the first time the two uttered the simple phrase.
"I love you too..." He almost assured, eyes locking back on Ray's like it would cement it in further just in case he had any doubt.
An actual smile settled over Ray's face as he backed away so the two could leave, waving them off as Kai pulled out of the spot and were on their way. He shifted the bag on his shoulder again as the car pulled out onto the main street, disappearing with the rest of the light evening traffic before taking himself back up to Tala's apartment.
Back in the car, Thomas kicked his legs a little now that they were on the move.
"Where we going?" He asked with his usual childlike wonder.
Keeping his eyes ahead on the road it was a few moments before Kai answered him.
"Wherever you wanna go kid." He contently sighed some, tone chirpy and somewhat dreamlike now as he held on to the imagery of Ray's smile. All of the day's events and upset now slowly melting away at the reassurance there was at least one aspect of his life that was going to be absolutely fine.
His new found family.
Thomas kicked his legs harder, tiny mind trying to scramble for what he wanted. "Pizza. No! Chicken nuggets! No! Ummmmm." He couldn't just pick one!
Kai chuckled to himself, bringing his eyes up to the rear view mirror and seeing the small face scrunch up in tiny fluster. Ming would be so proud of him.
"How about pizza and chicken nuggets?" He suggested, completely expecting the reaction that then came from the back seat.
Thomas's face lit up like it was Christmas morning all over again. "We can do that?!" His tiny voice pitched higher.
Kai smirked as he shrugged his shoulders, demeanor adopting more of a cool older brother figure than the usual stern father position he found himself in most of the time. He knew that discipline was important, but perhaps too much was actually the root cause of all that had happened today.
Keeping kids too in line only leads to rebellion later on, that much was clear, not just from Johnny but Kai himself was his fair share of asshole teenager. Not that Thomas was anywhere near that stage yet but if he could avoid such completely by not being as strict with him then he'd grab at that chance with both hands.
"Course we can. We can do whatever we want."
Thomas bounced in his seat, "Can we get some ice cream too?! Lots of chocolate and sprinkles?!"
"Allll the chocolate and sprinkles." He sent quickly back over his shoulder with a grin that had another excited squeal erupt from behind.
Continuing with his bouncing like he'd already been plied with all the sugar, Thomas didn't stop the rest of the way to whatever magical land Kai was taking them to. His own excitement getting the better of him as he started the long tale of his days since he'd been away from Kai, mouth moving at hyper speed and stumbling over his own words as they poured out of him.
He had to tell his Uncle Kai everything, down to the very last detail from school to his TV shows, to how he didn't know Uncle Ray snored until now after sleeping in the living room with one another like they had been the past week.
Going on about how Ms. Julia had taken him out on their own little trip to the store and how she said he was very well behaved and she gave him candy for being her 'good little helper'.
"Is that right?" Kai humored the little one as they walked hand in hand across the carpark and into the restaurant.
"Well I'm glad you've had a good time buddy."
He knew he owed that to Ray, Tala, and Julia mostly, all of them assisting in making a shitty situation appear like a fun sleepover whilst he had another crisis.
Though Kai wasn't sure how much longer they could all keep up the facade. He hoped come Friday they wouldn't need to and everyone would be back sleeping in their own beds. He could only imagine how cramped it was in a one bed apartment.
Having being led over to a booth, Thomas scrambling up onto the seat and once again struggling to make a decision between the menu or some coloring, Kai lazily let his eyes trail over the food choices, remembering Ray's earlier words telling him to eat. Was probably a good thing really as he hadn't had anything since yesterday lunchtime. His appetite truly shot with the apprehension of the trial.
Choosing to do two things at once, Thomas colored while eyeing the options between a cheese pizza or chicken nuggets until he remembered what his Uncle Kai had said and that he could have both!
His big amber eyes looked up, arm still going with his green crayon, "Can I still have a pizza and nuggets?!"
Glancing up from his menu, Kai smiled down at him. He knew Thomas would never eat it all but he was a man of his word.
"Sure can. You sure you'll have room for chocolate ice cream and sprinkles after though?"
Thomas gave him a look like he'd just asked if the sky was really blue. "Yeahhhhh." He sent in a drone.
Kai lightly chuckled to himself. He figured that would've been a stupid question but he'd believe it when he saw it.
Having ordered the requested pizza and nuggets with a complimentary helping of questioning side eye from the waitress, she left the two of them to it after she brought over their drinks. Thomas concentrating intently on the dragon he was coloring in and Kai watching over him as he absentmindedly swirled the straw around in his drink; the ice quietly clinking against the glass.
It had only been several days since he saw the kid last but, as dramatic as it sounded, it seemed like a lifetime had passed. The deafening silence of the house, once blissful to him, now apparently a sound he couldn't stand. Never did he imagine he'd actually miss the excited squeals and laughter that came with a child, along with the tiny feet that could somehow sound like an elephant bounding around his house.
"So what else have you been up to?" Kai suddenly pressed for more. He wasn't sure how much else Thomas could give him considering the amount he spewed on the way over but he just wanted to hear him ramble on in all honesty. Fill the damned silence that had plagued him for days.
Thomas kicked his legs a little, arm still going and sipping at his drink at the same time.
"I got to go to Harley and Caden's... Butttt... We didn't listen to Aunt Hilary and broke Uncle Tyson's XBox. We had to sit on the couch till he came home to see what we did. He wasn't happy. Aunt Hilary told Uncle Ray and he took my TV away, but he said I could have it back in a few more days.
"When he's gone to the store Uncle Tala lets me watch it though. Oh! And Lisa got her tonsils removed, she got to eat ice cream for a week!" He rambled, looking between his coloring and Kai across from him.
"And on Friday we get to have a pajama party in class because we filled our marble jar!"
In all honesty Kai didn't care for Tyson's fallen electrical comrade nor did he have the slightest clue on who Lisa was but his over exaggerated facial expressions would have anyone thinking he was following the young boys tales. His excitement contagious which had a stupid smile sitting on his face as he listened.
"Wow, you've been really busy then huh?" He chuckled, taking a sip of his drink when the waitress interrupted with their plates of food.
"Uhuh." Thomas mumbled around his first bite of food in his mouth.
"Wad boutchu?" He asked with bits of food spewing out.
Kai took in a breath, the question simple and innocent enough yet his truth was far from so. Thomas was still far too young anyway to really understand so he figured he'd just do what he did best in these situations and use that to his advantage.
"Just boring grown up stuff." He glossed over, sending a small smile down before plucking up some fries.
"Gotta say I have missed you though."
At Kai's words, a wide, smashed up chicken nugget smile was sent his way.
"I mished you toof."
The rest of their dinner was just as peaceful and full of bounce, Thomas talking to the point Kai's ears could have bled but in all honesty he wouldn't have traded it for anything.
Stocked up on chicken nuggets, two slices of pizza, and half a bowl of ice cream later, Kai messaged Ray to let him know that the two were on their way back to Tala's so he could drop Thomas back off with them for the time being. Getting the okay in response he buckled the little guy in his seat before easing his way into the driver's seat and getting the heat going before one of them froze.
All the while Kai's stomach tightened on him as he waited for the car to heat up, several different thoughts running through his head about the situation he'd gone and put them all in again and how awful he felt for it being the way it was now.
Not that he wanted what he did to be just brushed under the rug, he did hope that Friday they would be able to get back on even ground and he could have his family back home with him. He wasn't sure if he could do this weekend dad thing more than once already.
Ten minutes before they pulled into the parking lot to Tala's apartment complex, Thomas finally passed out after having talked Kai's ears off the entire ride back, Kai enjoying the slight peace but prayed for the other's sakes that Thomas' little power nap wasn't going to keep him up the rest of the night.
Like promised, Ray was down there to get Thomas from Kai, bundled up in his jacket due to the temperature dropping with the sun.
Getting himself out of the car and unclipping Thomas from his seat for Ray as the other made it across the lot to where Kai had parked, the little boy's eyes fluttered open only to close shortly after as Kai pulled him into his arms. Thomas' cheek smooshed against Kai's shoulder as he laid against him, KO'd to the rest of the world.
"Hey, looks like you really wore him out." Ray chuckled, heart fluttering at the sight he never could or would ever tire of seeing.
"Do… Do you want me to carry him in for you?" Kai asked with clear hesitance.
"If you don't mind, I already set his bed up on the couch for him." Ray answered, shutting the car doors for him since Kai's hands were full.
Following Ray up the stairs, being extra careful with each step he took, holding onto Thomas tighter and felt his breath catch in his throat like Thomas was an infant again and it was his first time holding him all over again they finally made it to the second landing and Ray opened the door for the three of them.
Though, when they got into the apartment and Kai stopped in front of the couch he found himself not wanting to let go of Thomas who had barely flinched the entire way against his chest, eyes on the bedding and the Spiderman blanket laid out waiting for him.
In the back of his head, he knew he had to put Thomas down, get back to his own home and the silence that awaited him, but he wouldn't deny that it was hard.
Still fighting with himself yet relenting at the same time, he carefully laid Thomas down on the couch, pulling the blanket over him and felt his mouth slowly curl up into a small smile as the little boy rolled onto his side and buried himself under the blanket more till all that was poking out were strands of his blue hair.
Brushing the bit of hair that he could still see before standing upright again, Kai turned back to Ray and gave him a small nod while a lump was caught in the back of his throat preventing him from saying anything to him. Forcing his legs to move him back to the door, eyes going down and watching his steps, he made it past the couch and loveseat only for his head to come back up when he heard Ray following behind him to the door.
Made sense though since Ray was probably going to lock it behind him, so kept quiet even when he pulled the door back open only to stop when Ray tapped him on the shoulder.
"Hey, you okay?" Ray asked quietly in fear of waking Thomas up.
"Yeah, why wouldn't I be?" Kai shrugged off, head turned over his shoulder to look back at him and his hand gripping the handle of the door he'd opened tighter.
"Because I know this is hard, especially for you." Ray answered without missing a beat, nor missing the slight bite Kai had in his tone towards him.
"It's not really for you to worry about right now." Kai responded with a small shake of his head yet couldn't ignore the small flutter of his heart at the clear concern the other was still sporting for him.
He really didn't deserve it but it still felt nice to have.
Ray let out a sigh, not really understanding why Kai was pushing back at the moment but figured it wasn't anything to really do with him but more of what had happened at the courthouse earlier that day. Or, he reasoned, it could be both things weighing him down so was best to just let him go.
"Alright. We still on for Friday though?"
"Yeah, whenever you want." Kai replied without hesitation.
"Okay, I'll call you then. Drive safe, okay?"
"I will. Have a good night."
"You too." Ray offered a smile, Kai returning it before he forced himself to leave and shut the door to Tala's apartment behind him. Waiting outside for a minute till he could hear the deadbolt lock behind him, carrying himself down the stairs back to the car in the parking lot.
With Kai now gone, Ray took in another deep breath and let it out slowly through his nose, heading around the apartment to tidy up before he too joined Thomas in dream land since Tala had decided to stay over at Julia's for the night.
Coming out of the bathroom after his shower, towel drying his hair and flicking the lights off in the small apartment, Ray paused by Tala's bedroom door and glanced at it for a moment and getting taken back to that night a month ago when he and Kai desecrated their friends bed in a drunken stupor.
While it'd only been a month it almost felt like a lifetime ago that it had happened, their lives having gone up and down and then sideways and through all sorts of loops to the point he was surprised they hadn't just completely crashed and burned just yet.
He knew Kai was doing all he could to keep standing, not that he wasn't doing his best to do the same after everything but he couldn't think of a time when his life had become so chaotic and so quickly too.
Thinking back on it all, the good and the bad, he knew without a doubt he wouldn't have really traded any of it though. There was nothing he could do to change the past, as desperately as he wanted to for Kai and Thomas' sakes, the least he could do then was move forward beside them, help them when one or the other stumbled like he had been.
What Kai had done was a mistake, one he knew Kai regretted deeply and one he probably was still beating himself up over since it happened. As scared as Ray had been at the time as well as angry and frustrated with himself over it, he knew Kai was doing his best to make amends for it and he himself was getting tired of the distance he'd put up between them.
He just hoped, come Friday, their relationship wasn't unsalvageable this time around.
Pulling into the drive of his empty home, cutting the engine and the lights to the car off, Kai pulled himself out after having sat in the drivers seat for a few more minutes, replaying the entire day and night in his head and all that had happened.
There was nothing he could do for Johnny anymore, that much he knew and something he should have come to realize much sooner before it took everything else he had away with him.
What was done was done, there was no bringing him back from this and while a part of him was relieved to see Johnny put behind bars the other hated it at the same time. Probably always would, too.
They really weren't all that different, having dug themselves a hole too big to climb out of this time, yet unlike Johnny he was being given a rope to hold onto to get himself out of his own hole and unlike Johnny he was going to take it and get out of the hole before it could swallow him up again.
Unlike the nights before, since Ray had left with Thomas, he decided to go upstairs to his room and sleep in his bed. Too tired to properly undress he flopped down onto the mattress after having dumped his pillow and blanket that he'd dragged up the stairs from the couch, though the blanket remained bunched up by his feet as he lay there on his back staring in the darkness of his room.
With his hands laying on his stomach, he fiddled with the ring around his finger, spinning it round till his eyes got too heavy to keep open any longer and eventually succumbed to his own exhaustion.
When his eyes opened again it was already almost ten in the morning, plenty of time to do nothing till work but with the house being so silent like it had been the past week he stayed in bed for a bit longer until he got too tired of just laying there like a log and forced himself to get a shower and dressed.
By now Thomas would be in school since it was only Wednesday, hopefully he hadn't gotten him to Tala's too late and the boy was able to get a restful sleep. Since he hadn't seen Tala when he dropped Thomas off he could only assume he'd been down the hall at Julia's which left Ray on his own in Tala's apartment till the other decided to head back home himself.
He often wondered what it was those two got up to when it was just them in the apartment alone. If they were swapping secrets of the trade or just telling stories of their pasts, or if they just sat and stared at the TV all day till Thomas got home from school. It wasn't like he himself did much during the day until he had to go to work, not until the other two had moved in at least and then it was like he never had time to breathe without sharing the same air as someone else.
As odd as it was, as well as a hard adjustment at first, he did miss it now. He only had to wait two more days but he wasn't so sure if he could do that.
He knew what Tala had said about letting Ray be the one to approach him, but now with the case being closed on Johnny he dashed Tala's words from his mind and grabbed his phone up off the side table by the bed where he had left it once he came back out from his shower, going to Ray's number and hitting the call button.
Staying in his towel he sat on the side of his bed as the dial tone rang in his ear, holding his breath without even realizing he was and only letting it out when the other line was finally picked up on the fifth ring.
"Hey, morning. You okay?"
At hearing Ray's voice, despite having heard it the day before, Kai's breath hitched in his throat once more till he could clear it. Knowing this could go one of two ways but had already pretty much bitten the bullet by calling Ray up to start with.
"Yeah, yeah I'm alright. But, I can't do Friday." He stated quickly, almost tripping over his own words.
"Oh…. Okay…" Ray's voice dropped, it clear he was cut by Kai's words.
"I just. I mean I can't do Friday, but if you're free now?-Or later tonight!" Kai spewed out again, trying hard not to fumble the ball this time around.
There was a short pause on the other end of the line, and Kai was sure that the ball he was gripping onto so tightly was fixing to slip from his hold any moment as the silence creeped in thicker.
"I'm not doing anything, so if you're free we can get some lunch." Ray finally responded, his tone having picked up again.
"Yeah, I'm free. I can come pick you up in about thirty."
"Okay, that works. Tala'll be here to get Thomas when he gets out of school and all."
"Frankie's still good?" Kai asked, heart beating faster like he was fixing to go on his first ever date.
"Yup. See you soon then?" Ray pitched.
"Yeah, see you soon." Kai smiled even if Ray couldn't see, letting the other hang up before he did and jumped off the side of his bed as quick as he could to his closet to get dressed.
He really didn't care what he looked like, was just going to a pizza parlor and all, and threw on a simple dark sweater and some jeans, managing to run a comb through his damp locks before dashing out the door only to come back in and grab his jacket, keys, and wallet he'd left by the door.
Although he had promised thirty minutes he was there in twenty, sending Ray a text to let him know he was down in the parking lot waiting for him in the Corvette.
The moment the passenger door was opened it was like all the air in the car was sucked out into the world around them, Kai's breath leaving with it for a moment as Ray slipped into the leather beside him and only being divided by the center console sat between them. When the door was shut once more Kai's breath shot back down his throat along with his heart rising into it at the same time.
"Are you sure this is okay?" He spewed randomly, having yet to put the car in drive till he got another verbal confirmation.
Ray gave him a curious look for a second as the question seemed to process in his own head.
"If I didn't want to come I wouldn't have agreed to come." He answered simply, throwing in a small smile at him just to help ease the nerves he could see coming from him.
"I just… Tala had said to let you come to me, but-" "Kai, really it's fine. I wanted to come, I don't mind that you called and asked first."
A small sort of smile tried to creep up Kai's face though he forced it down quickly which made it look like he had a twitch.
"Well technically you did ask first, but not for today." He said a bit cheekily as the tension he'd caused in the air seemed to dissipate around them just as quickly as it had appeared.
"So are we gonna go anytime soon or just sit here?" Ray asked with his own cheeky smile coming over his face once he'd seen Kai relax finally.
"Y-yeah." Kai stuttered, turning back around in his seat and throwing the car in drive before taking it slow out of the parking lot.
"Thomas get to school okay this morning for you?" He asked as they made it out onto the main road just to keep the air from going stale around them.
"Yeah, we got him up on time. Though lately he's been protesting a lot just getting up and ready, been kind of a handful lately."
"Sure sleeping on the couch isn't helping him any."
"It's not, not like it's helping me either." Ray slipped, closing his mouth and shifting in his seat some like he'd gone and said something he really shouldn't have.
Although he was fine with Kai suggesting they meet up and go out now instead of waiting another two days, he also didn't want to just have Kai throw out him and Thomas coming home; not so soon at least.
He did want to come home, had been wanting to since he left it behind, but like he and Tala had been discussing and something he even knew long before was that he and Kai needed to talk some things out.
As much as he was anticipating being able to go home, there was a small part of him that was just as anxious about going back altogether.
He could only assume that now with Johnny finally out of their lives things would look up and get better for all of them involved, Kai more so than any of them, yet he still had his reservations because he knew how much Kai loved Johnny despite all he'd ever done to him and those around him. If things were going to work for them then he was going to have to put his foot down, harder this time, and he wasn't so sure how well that was going to go just yet since the last time he had tried Kai just did what he wanted anyways and it hadn't worked out for any of them.
Letting Ray's words be the last ones to have been spoken the car went silent aside from the engine's purr, though every now and then the two occupants glanced at one another as Kai continued to drive them through the early afternoon traffic at the designated speed limit for once.
It wasn't long before they pulled into Frankie's, Kai cutting the engine as Ray got out of his seat belt and the two met at the front of the car before walking into the small pizza parlor together, it taking them both back to the first time they had gone which was one of the reason's Ray had suggested it in the first place. Wanting to have that same feeling he had back then and that same sense of calm and normalcy.
With it being so early in the afternoon the lunch rush had yet to show up and they were seated in seconds of walking in, the place filled with the usual heavenly smells of freshly baked pizza.
Getting their order in for a large pepperoni, like last time though exchanging the beers since it was still early in the day for some soda, they watched their waitress head off to the back to put in the order before they both faced each other over the table and went silent again.
Kai held down the urge to pull at the collar of his shirt, instead putting his hands on the top of the table and cleared his throat some feeling like he needed to say something first even though he was sure Ray had more to say than he did.
"So um… What've you been up to?" He managed to force out.
Ray shifted in his seat a little, feeling the slightly tense atmosphere sitting on his shoulders like a heavy blanket.
"Oh, not much really." He waved it off like it didn't mean much, "Just looking after Thomas, helping him with his homework and what not. I sometimes help out Tala around the house as a thank you for letting us stay."
Ray chuckled slightly, "Although he always tells me off for it. How about you?"
"Since you been gone, nothing. Isn't much to do with the house so empty." Kai answered and almost regretted it instantly as it sounded like he was putting blame on Ray for leaving.
"I mean... Dealing with Johnny's shit kept me somewhat occupied, but now that's over..." And with that his own mood shot back down again.
Sighing through his nose, Ray rested his elbows on the table and leaned forward on them as he stared into Kai's eyes, not missing the comment about him leaving; he'd get to that in a moment.
"So, what happened at the hearing then?" He asked, his curiosity getting the better of him.
Kai fiddled with the ring around his finger almost subconsciously, though did his best to keep his eye contact with Ray for as long as he could.
"He um... He got thirteen years... Even with the plea deal." He answered, finding another hard lump stuck in the back of his throat.
"Holy shit..." Ray's eyes widened as he sat back in his seat, staring at the table and quietly processing this new information.
His eyes flicked back to Kai after a moment and sighed again. "I'm sorry that he got so long but..." He paused to swallow, his throat drying out on him.
"Look, I know you two were close but you do know that he deserves this right?"
Kai's head hung a little, while he'd said it to himself so many times as well as everyone else around him saying the same thing for years, it wasn't any easier having to hear it even if he knew it was the truth.
"I do. I know that.. And maybe it will be better for him. Hell knows it'll be better for us." He stopped to look back up at Ray, feeling smaller than he actually was when their eyes connected again.
There was nothing he could do for Johnny, and nothing he wanted to do there either even if given the chance. That door, finally, had been shut and he intended to keep it shut this time around.
"If there even is an 'us' anymore?" He asked more carefully.
At hearing those words his heart picked up the pace and his palms began to sweat, however Ray told himself to keep his nerve as he needed to set the record straight. As much as he ached to tell him yes, he didn't want to answer his question right away.
"Kai... Do you understand why I left in the first place?" Ray asked, glad that his voice managed to keep steady. "You really hurt me... And I was scared that it would happen again, so I had to get out of there along with Thomas..."
If he hadn't felt small before, he really felt it this time as Ray's words pierced right through him yet gave him the dignity of looking him in the eye despite the sting.
As badly as he felt humiliated by his own doing he was somewhat glad to see the bruising he'd left behind had finally vanished off Ray's skin. He'd been so preoccupied last time they saw one another he hadn't really gotten a proper look, but with Ray's hair up even with it being winter and the collar of his jacket open, he could see his skin was once again flawless.
He gave a slow nod in answer, and while he knew the reason part of him didn't want to hear it out loud but couldn't sit there silently either.
His mouth opened though closed when the waitress came bringing their food and drinks over, slotting the pizza between them on the table before walking away. Kai couldn't find it in himself to smile back at her before she left, though managed to thank her all the same.
"I'm so sorry..." He breathed out almost painfully, that lump being even more stubborn than it was before as it tightened inside his throat.
"I know my excuses aren't good enough, and I don't expect them to be either... I just need you to know that I am so sorry, Ray." He sent, his tone wobbling and even with his eyes beginning to brim he kept them on Ray's.
Ray's nose began to twitch as he began to choke up himself at seeing the love of his life well up.
"I know you are, I don't doubt it even for a second." He assured him.
"But it happened and there's no forgetting it ever occurred, so we need to work together to come up with something to prevent it happening again." He reached forward over their pizza's to touch Kai's hand gently, almost like he was throwing him a lifeline.
Kai grabbed onto it the second he could, holding onto it like his life did depend on it.
Of course he wanted this, the forgiveness and for Ray and Thomas to come home, but deep down he knew he didn't deserve it, never deserved Ray and all the things he'd ever done not just for him but for Thomas too, but he would be a fool not to take it.
"I-I'll do anything." He once more forced out through his ever closing throat.
"I don't want to be like this, and I'm sorry I am... I never wanted to hurt you, ever, especially not like this." He got out, the first of his tears spilling out in his remorse.
With his own tears falling down his cheeks, Ray tightened his grip on Kai's hand and stared at him like he was the only thing that mattered to him. He knew how sorry he was and he was willing to forgive him for it, but there was a long road ahead of them when he felt they were truly out of the woods.
He cleared his throat of the tightness that had taken over. "Have you thought about seeing someone professionally?" He asked gently, knowing how proud the other could be.
"Over about a dozen times in my life... Clearly nothing they ever said or suggested has sunk in." Kai answered, shaking his head some before wiping at his eyes.
"I know that I've taken on too much recently, and again I'm not asking for excuses for what happened, but that night Tala had said something needs to give and of course I know that, have known that for a while now...
"With Johnny gone it should make it easier, I want it to be easier but at the same time I don't think I can promise that I still won't keep in contact with him even locked up even if it is the right thing." He said, quickly holding a hand up to Ray as he saw his mouth open to speak.
"Past actions would suggest that there's ways he can still get under my skin, so I can't even say that it won't happen again but with everything now out in the open, knowing what he did and didn't do..." He stopped again to take in a heavy ragged breath, fighting back more tears at the mere thought of Johnny having been there where Ming was and not doing anything to help her while Robert did whatever he wanted to her.
Collecting himself he let out the breath he'd taken in, it coming out shakily. "I don't think I really have to worry too much about him setting me off anymore, but again I can't fully promise that. I can promise though to handle my anger better, especially around you and Thomas. Neither of you have deserved this, or what I did to you because of Johnny."
Ray stared at Kai whilst his words ran through his head, the sincerity was clear upon the others face; he knew that he meant every word of it and he wasn't afraid to admit that it wouldn't be easy. But at the end of the day Kai was willing to try for him, to handle his anger in more positive ways and just generally do better. He wanted to give Ray and Thomas a better life together, as a family, and that was all Ray could ever ask for.
A small smile spread across his face as he continued to look into Kai's desperate eyes.
"Alright." He finally said, "I trust you."
Albeit a wobbly one, a smile finally made its way upon Kai's lips, going back to grabbing at Ray's hand he'd left between them on the table, his thumb brushing against his tan skin.
He took in another deep breath, gearing up for what else he'd come to conclude in his seclusion that Ray needed to hear from him.
"With things that need to be let go, on my end at least, I've been giving it a lot of thought since that night and I think it's best that I step down from the club altogether."
"What?!" Ray gasped. "The club has been a part of your life for such a long time, you have so many memories there..."
His brows furrowed together, worried that Kai was making too many changes in such a short amount of time.
"I think you should think about it first, don't go rushing into changing things you might regret later on." He offered him another smile, enjoying the fuzzy feeling he was getting from Kai's thumb rubbing his hand
Kai shook his head again at him at the spew of words, and while he knew Ray was coming from a good place he felt, knew, this was a long time coming.
"It is something I've thought about, have thought about for almost two years now actually. I never wanted it to start with, it was Johnny's idea and I was just lumbered with everything. Don't get me wrong, I did enjoy it at times but for this, us, to work and be a better father figure to Thomas I feel this is better.
"The late hours never bothered me before, but with Thomas now one of us really needs to be able to function during the day and we both can't do that after working during the night.
"I've already discussed it with Tala, he thinks it's a good idea to step down from it even and then he can run the place how he wants. And it's not like I need the money either."
Ray slumped back in his seat as Kai explained his reasons... He had a perfectly good point and deep down he knew it would be better for all of them in the long run; that and he just didn't have any more reasons to argue over it.
"Okay, but only if that's what you truly want." He let out a small sigh, "I just want you to be happy and free from all this drama with Johnny."
He was suddenly reminded of something. "Speaking of; what's going to happen with Nicole?"
At that Kai sat up some more in the booth, not even caring that the pizza was going cold and neither had so much as looked at their drinks, yet that didn't really matter as this time he had some good news for once.
"Actually, last Friday on the 11th she called and said that her lawyer finally got the divorce papers in from Johnny. So it's done, she's free to do what she wants now and said she managed to find an apartment on the other side of the city about an hour away and has a few job interviews lined up now. I offered to help if she needed it but she declined it, again." He explained, looking torn between excited and disappointed at the same time.
"How did her lawyer get the papers though, I thought you had them?"
Kai's shoulders went up a little, "I took them with me that last time when I went to see him, they must have gotten left behind and he took them and signed them. Which, to be honest, surprised me even just as much as Nicole but I guess he finally realized he didn't have much of a choice."
"Oh wow... As much of a dick the guy is, kudos to him for taking some responsibility." Ray remarked, noticing that Kai's demeanor had changed towards a more positive direction.
"I think if she keeps declining your offers of help though, you should respect her wishes. As much as you want to help her, she does need to figure some things out on her own and find her place back in the world." He offered some advice to him, hoping it would remove yet more weight off of Kai's shoulders.
His smile grew, "I do find your willingness to help her admirable though, you're such a people pleaser." Ray teased with a cheeky grin.
Kai returned the grin, the air feeling much lighter than what it had been previously which he was more than thankful for.
"I try. But yeah, if she feels it's better to go on her own from now on there's not much else I can really do." He sighed out himself.
"Though she did ask I be present at the birth, and I told her I'd try and be there so she isn't alone."
Ray's eyes widened for what felt like the hundredth time. "Oooh! You should absolutely try to be there, it would do you both a world of good to have something positive happen, and you can't get more positive than the birth of a baby!"
Ray glanced down at their nearly cold pizzas. "I guess we should eat these before they are beyond saving." He giggled.
Kai chuckled a little under his breath, nodding some in agreement but gestured for Ray to go first while he sipped at his drink after talking so much.
Ray didn't hesitate to dig into the food, taking a slice and biting into it like he was starving, all the while Kai was still stuck in his own head after everything they had talked about.
Sure, breaking the news of Johnny going to prison for a long while had been one of the things Ray needed to know about, maybe even Nicole and what her future was going to look like was somewhat needed, and he knew discussing leaving the club was also a priority he was still left with the one thing he really needed and that was whether or not Ray was actually going to come home now or not.
He hesitated from openly asking or bringing it up, last time he'd jumped the gun on something as delicate as such it hadn't gone well for him and he figured at some point Ray would have just outright said his own peace on it yet maybe he was actually waiting for Kai to do it.
This though, he wasn't wanting to be the one to dictate or push for it. For once he wanted to be told what to do because truth be told he'd slowly come to realize he didn't have all the answers everyone expected him to have, and at the end of the day it was Ray who had gotten the shit end of the stick on more than one occasion since being with him.
As Ray ate, he looked up briefly at Kai and noticed that he still hadn't touched his food. Frowning a little he slowed down and took the opportunity of the quiet time to really think over what had happened between them. Even though he was still anxious about what had happened that night, he couldn't help but feel partly to blame as he could have easily put a stop to it sooner; he'd just let it happen in the hopes that Kai would have come to his senses and stopped, but that didn't happen and now here they were.
Kai had apologized profusely about it and had sworn to never allow himself to get so out of control again, and Ray was ready to forgive him for it. But it still seemed there was an obstacle in their way and it just wasn't sitting right with him, he felt he needed to be the one to overcome it in order for their relationship to move forward again...
Ray swallowed his mouthful and cleared his throat. "So er... I've been doing some thinking over what happened that night..." He shuffled in his seat as nerves began to kick in a little.
"I wanted you to know you weren't solely to blame for it, I should have put a stop to it sooner before things... Got out of control." He avoided looking at Kai in the eyes, the guilty feeling washing over him like a surge of water.
The bit of soda that had slipped down Kai's throat made him choke at the words that had just passed over the table at him, forcing him to cough and spit and sputter for a few minutes till it seemed to pass but not without leaving him red in the face and tears in his eyes again.
"W-what?! Ray, that... What happened was not your fault, why would you even think that?"
Ray's heart lurched at Kai's near choking experience. "B-but I could have stopped you! We wouldn't be in this mess if I had actually been a man about it... But I didn't!"
He leaned over to rub Kai's hand as he coughed again. "I just feel like I owe you an apology too... You know what they say? Takes two to tango..." He gave an awkward smile.
Kai shook his head furiously at him, he hadn't expected an apology from Ray over what he did much less expect him to blame himself for it either.
"Ray, please. You have nothing to apologize for, it wasn't your fault. Yes, if you had said to stop I would have but I shouldn't have gone after you like that to start with and that's on me not you. And it doesn't matter why you didn't say to stop either, this wasn't your doing."
After giving him a long and hard stare, Ray realized that Kai wasn't going to give him this one and so he decided to go ahead with his next hurdle that he felt he needed to go over.
"Okay, it won't change how I feel about it but I don't want to fight with you about it so..." He took in a deep breath and steadied himself. "Would it be okay if Thomas and I moved back in with you? Sleeping on Tala's couches just isn't doing us any good and I am tired of this just as much as you are. I know you know why I left, and I believe you that you won't do it again, and maybe with you stepping back from the club you won't feel so weighted down anymore which would help not just you, but us too."
Kai's brain stopped for a minute at the question being sent his way. Of course it was okay, it was more than okay for them to come home, it was the only thing Kai had wanted since they left but the way Ray had asked him it felt odd.
"Do you want to come back?"
Ray stopped his rambling over his reasons for wanting to move back in with Kai and stared at him. He absolutely wanted to come back, even though the space had been good for him, and probably good for Kai too, he still missed him incredibly and just desperately wanted to come home and live a normal life with his family.
Ray's face broke out into a warm smile. "Of course I do."
Kai felt his eyes well up again, "That's all I want..." He choked out.
At seeing tears brimming in the other's eyes Ray's own filled up like a swimming pool and spilled over.
"Oh jeez..." He grinned a wet grin. "Come here you!"
He stood up from his chair and walked around the table to where Kai sat, wrapping his arms around the other's shoulders; finally feeling like things were moving in the right direction for them, and also feeling free of most of their troubles.
The moment the others arms wrapped around him, Kai nearly broke down all over again and slumped into him. The heavy weight of guilt that had been resting on his shoulders for the past two weeks lifting with just the simple action but it meant more to him than Ray probably knew.
After a few moments of quiet in the calming embrace they finally pulled apart enough they could look at one another.
"Whenever you're ready the door is always open for you, you know that."
Ray let out a laugh, like fuck was he going to wait any longer. "How about tonight?" He smirked as he gave him a subtle wink.
"If that's what you want." Kai smiled back, "Are you going to tell Thomas or surprise him?"
"I think surprising him would be good. If you want we can finish here and head back to Tala's and I can get our stuff all packed up and take it back to the house before he gets out of school. Take him right over then. It might be another adjustment moving back in for him."
"Okay, the house is pretty clean already so I don't think I have anything I need to do there. Haven't really been living in it so to speak." Kai said with a crooked grin yet it fell when Ray rolled his eyes at him with a sigh.
"C'mon, you have to take better care of yourself." He pleaded in a slight whine.
"I do. I showered before I picked you up."
"Uhuh… And when was the last time you actually had a decent meal?"
The crooked grin came back over Kai's face, "Last night. But only because you told me to."
Ray let out a small chuckle, shaking his head in jest at him. "You're hopeless sometimes, you know that?"
Kai just grinned at him, "I try."
"Okay, fine. Since you want to be such a good listener, eat." Ray said, reaching across the table and taking a slice of cold pizza from it's pan and placed it on Kai's plate in front of him.
The grin on Kai's face stayed as he watched him, taking up the pizza he'd been given like he were a child and did as Ray commanded without hesitation.
Satisfied with Kai eating for once, Ray picked himself up from the booth he slid in beside Kai and went back to his own to finish his own slice of pizza. The two of them ate in more of a calming atmosphere, both the happiest they'd been since that night two weeks ago and with the promise of having both of them back home Kai felt like he was on the moon.
Things were once more good and this time he was more determined than ever to keep it that way.
As promised, once the two had their fill on the pizza they'd ordered, Kai took Ray back over to Tala's apartment so they could pack up his and Thomas' things; Tala seemingly nowhere to be seen at the moment but neither really cared all that much since he'd been spending more and more time over at Julia's place.
With the bags repacked of clothes and bedding and whatever else was brought over Kai took the bags to his car to take them home as it made more sense for Ray to wait for Thomas at Tala's place than go to Kai's to drop everything off only to come back in an hour for when the boy got off the bus.
Having gone down to the parking lot with Kai and waving him off with the promise of seeing each other soon, Ray made his way back up to Tala's only to cross paths with him once he got on the landing as Tala was coming out of Julia's apartment.
"Hey, how'd it go?"
"Went great." Ray answered, having adopted a permanent smile of his own on his face though noticed Tala was looking down himself.
"You okay though?"
Tala offered a lopsided shrug along with a forced grin, "Yeah, no I'm fine. Great in fact." He answered with a small chuckle leaving him, shaking his head a little though Ray wasn't sure if it was at him or for himself.
"Then what's with the face?" Ray pried.
"Well… Ya know… Still kind of in shock."
"About Kai and I getting back together?" Ray questioned, brow raising as Tala kept speaking in riddles at him.
"Noooo, no I'm not shocked about that. Knew that was going to happen." Tala laughed, "But um… Yeah, Julia's pregnant." He finally spit out.
If Tala had been shocked at the news himself then Ray was just as shocked, if not more probably by the way he just stood there, mouth having dropped open at the news as it trickled in like a slow drip of water on top of his head only to snap out of it when Tala clicked his fingers in Ray's face.
"You still on Earth with us space cadet?"
"Are you serious?!" Ray blurted out finally.
"Yeah, not something I would lie about." Tala laughed.
Ray's face lit up in a way Tala was sure he'd only ever seen Thomas do. "Tala! That's great! I'm so happy for you two! When did she find out?!"
Tala gestured to Julia's door, unable to contain his own smile. He almost forgot that Ray was somewhat obsessed with kids.
"Just now."
"Oh my God, that's amazing." Ray welled up, "Anything you need, don't hesitate to ask. Okay?"
"Yeah, I appreciate it." Tala grinned, clapping a hand on Ray's shoulder as the other male started to have a break down like he was the expecting father.
"But c'mon, tell me what happened with you an Kai." He coaxed, pulling Ray along to his apartment and instantly regretting it since he couldn't get him to shut up once the door was closed behind them.
"Well, I'm glad everything's worked out. Then again I never doubted it would. You two just need to give your heads a good shake every once in a while."
"Yeah, and really, I do appreciate everything you and Julia have done to help Thomas and me." Ray said.
Tala flicked his wrist at him, having lounged back on his loveseat as he'd gone to listening of Ray's time out with Kai.
"Don't worry about it."
"Are you really okay with him leaving the club to you though?" Ray questioned before he cut himself off from Tala answering him, "And why didn't you tell me he talked to you about it?!"
"Cus he asked me not to." Tala answered with a shrug, "But yeah, I'm fine with him stepping down. His reasons were good enough and I wasn't about to pick another fight with him. If this is what he feels is best for himself and you and Thomas then I'm not going to stop him."
Ray gave a nod in understanding, "Still would have been nice to know before he just dropped that on me." He muttered with a put on pout.
"Oh get over it you big baby." Tala laughed, "That's his thing, just drops shit on you."
"I've noticed." Ray laughed back, "But this will be good for you too, especially now- Oh my god! Kai doesn't know!" He blurted out at his own revelation, almost shooting up from the couch he was sitting on.
Tala smirked a little, "Yeahhhh, I'll tell him when I'm ready."
"My lips are sealed then." Ray grinned and pretending to zip his mouth shut.
"What about you two, ya know, tying the knot and all?" Tala asked, nodding towards the ring on Ray's finger he'd not taken off even after he'd left.
"I'm not sure… I haven't really been given much time to think about it, but I think maybe after a year we can start planning it. Give us some more time together and with Thomas, see where we are then and go from there."
"Sounds like a good idea." Tala agreed with his own small nod, his attention getting torn away from Ray when the other's phone alarm started to go off.
"Oh, guess I need to go down and pick Thomas up from the bus stop." Ray said, fishing his phone from his back pocket to turn off the alarm and peek at the time.
"You sure ya got everything?" Tala asked, easing himself up from his seat to walk Ray to the door as the other got himself up from the couch.
"Yeah, I did. And again, thank you so much." Ray said, stopping just shy of the door and throwing his arms around Tala's neck who threw his arms around his back.
"Really, it's fine." Tala laughed, giving him a tight squeeze. "Does this mean I'll have my bar buddy back with me tonight?" He asked, not letting Ray go just yet.
"Yessss, I'll be there. Scouts honor." Ray grinned, letting Tala go as Tala let go of him once he had his answer.
"If you could let Julia know too, that way we can bring Thomas over."
"What for?" Tala questioned.
"Well, if Kai and I are going to be at work together then we need her to watch Thomas." Ray answered, looking dumbfounded for a minute.
"Ray… Kai isn't going back, he resigned three nights ago."
Standing shell shocked once more, mouth dropping open, Ray managed to snap out of it before Tala could click his fingers in his face again yet ended up getting slapped in the arm.
"WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME?!" He shouted.
Tala flinched yet laughed at it all the same, "Because he asked me not to!"
"Ughhhh, no wonder you two get along so well, just drop shit on everyone without warning." Ray groaned with an eye roll.
"Sorry." Tala chuckled which meant he wasn't all that sorry.
"Whatever, I can't deal with you sometimes." Ray playfully bit before pulling Tala into another hug.
"But I love ya anyways."
"Love ya too." Tala grinned as he hugged him once more before making sure Ray finally made it out the door to pick Thomas up, waving at him until he couldn't see Ray on the stairs anymore.
Making it to the bus stop just around the corner of the apartment complex, Ray greeted Thomas as he came off the bus and ushered him back to the parking lot to where his Jeep had been sat the past two weeks.
"Where we goin?" Thomas asked as Ray opened the door for him, taking his backpack from him as well.
"It's a surprise." Ray answered, helping him into his seat before buckling him in and slipping into the driver's seat himself, plopping Thomas' backpack on the floorboard on the passengers side.
"Did you have a good day at school?"
"YEAH! We learned about starfish today!" Thomas blurted out, feet kicking some behind Ray's seat.
"Oh, that's cool. We saw some of those at the aquarium, remember?"
"Mhmmm!" Thomas hummed back in answer, too busy watching them pull away from Tala's apartment complex.
"Can you tell me where we're going now?" He pried.
"But it'll ruin the surprise." Ray laughed.
"I'll still act surprised."
Ray shook his head at him, keeping his mouth sealed about where they were going but it didn't take long before Thomas realized himself where it was they were going the closer they got to Kai's house.
Ray was sure that if Thomas hadn't been strapped into his seat he would have blasted himself through the roof of the SUV as the familiar houses rolled by along Kai's street, and even more sure that the boy would have thrown himself from the moving vehicle if given the chance as he pulled up into the driveway and parked behind Kai's Corvette.
"Hold your horses, he's not going anywhere." Ray chuckled as he threw the Jeep into park and cut the engine, seeing Thomas jumping in his seat through the rear view mirror.
"I wanna see him! I wanna see him!" Thomas squealed, trying to fight his way out of his seat on his own.
"Well hold on, stop your wiggling for a second." Ray fussed at him as he tried to get at the buttons of the straps around him, somehow managing to get them undone and Thomas free finally and let the boy throw himself out on his own, surprised he landed on his feet instead of face planting on the concrete of the driveway.
Having been waiting for the two inside his office, looking out the window and seeing Ray drive up, Kai was already at the door with it open as Thomas jumped out of the Jeep and running at him like he hadn't seen him in years.
The sight was just as heartwarming as it was funny to see the little boy in his over excitement, arms out wide and legs going nuts to get to him as he ran up the path to the front door.
"Dad!"
And just like that it felt like his entire world suddenly stopped as the one simple word shot right through him, not even registering Thomas' body colliding into his legs once the boy had reached him and buried his face in Kai's jeans, arms held around him tightly.
In his shock he managed to put a hand down on Thomas' back, not able to take his eyes off Ray's who had went around to the passenger side of the Jeep to get Thomas' backpack though was sure Ray had heard what Thomas had just called him; the entire block had heard it!
When their eyes met, Kai's holding a questioning look as if he wasn't sure if Thomas had actually called him that or not while Ray's had a wet film over them because Thomas had called him that.
That alone gave both of them the reassurance they needed that things would be okay more than anything.
"H-hey squirt, have a good day at school?" Kai asked, finally snapping out of his stupor as his own eyes began to brim.
"I did! We learned about starfish!"
"That right? Well come in, can tell me all about it." Kai smiled down at him before picking the boy up, bringing him to his hip.
Ray joined them at the front door where the three of them walked inside as Thomas began to tell his tale about his school day, the boy going a mile a minute about everything he did and learned down to every detail, his words getting cut off by the front door closing behind the family of three who missed the small snowflake drifting down from the sky till it touched the ground.