He watched as she practiced, because as much as Selina pretended she was way too cool to train, that was exactly what she was doing decapitating all those poor mannequins. Although he couldn't say he liked her new alliances, especially considering how much trouble Tabitha Galavan's brother created, he couldn't exactly pretend that the choice of weapon Selina adopted under her mentorship wasn't alluring. He could argue to himself that the bullwhip had noting to with it. That is was all Selina. He had been enamoured with her since day one with little choice on the matter. But he didn't believe that. Not really, or at least not all the time. He could go back in his memories and find many moments in which he could just let go of her hand forever without looking back. And as much as he consistently found himself seeking her company, friendship, comradery,… love; it had always being a choice. A choice that had not been always the best one, but had always one he took willingly, and that he never once regretted making. Yet.

But as he watched she do a somersault that ended with her skipping rope using the bullwhip, her eyes closed in evident joy, he wondered… Last time he chose to keep her close it had almost at the cost her life. Would he be willing to do that same choice again? Would he bet her life for his own selfish weaknesses one more time? Yes, she begged him to stay, but it still was irresponsible. And next time they might not be as lucky. Next time, instead of miraculously find a way to save her, maybe all that remained to him was watch her die as he did with his parents before.

"You've been looking at me for the past five minutes with the dumbest look on your face."

He felt his expression relax and uncrossed his arms, putting his hands on his hips.

"Is that true? Come wipe it out, then."

She snorted but jumped off one of the piles of boxes she had climbed before, and walked towards him with her hips swinging, he swallowed hard when she hooked her bullwhip around his neck and pulled him close for a kiss.

With his eyes still closed, Bruce patted the bed beside him, his stomach dropped when he found it cold and empty. Still, her scent lingered, mixed with his own, and sex. They needed new sheets. He was still getting used to it, to do his own mundane chores. He had never been a messy person per se, but new crispy sheets used to appear on his bed like magic back when he had a home. But there were no maids in Heaven, and Alfred was too busy trying to help Jim Gordon to save Gotham than clean up after Bruce.

He willed himself to push his upper body upwards, looking around the room, the tightness in his stomach remained, since he held Selina's bleeding body he had constant nightmares in which she had died there. That every moment they had after had been a delusion, lies he had been telling himself in his grief. He knew that constant second-guessing of reality was not normal, and was driving him crazy little by little. The only moment he found true peace was when he was inside her. The night before they barely made into their room, sometimes they didn't. She never complained, and could be even more eager than him at times. But sometimes he felt ashamed of how much he needed her. And he knew it probably would pass, they would get comfortable or used to it, but right now he felt every moment he wasn't touching her was a moment lost.

Bruce sighed and rose from the bed completely, Alfred would be knocking soon, they had promised to join Lucius that day, and he could ask the butler about Selina too, although Bruce doubted she gave notice to anyone of her whereabouts. It was a battle long lost, and he was well aware that he was not much better, maybe even worse in many aspects, but he hated when she went AWOL without telling him before. And every time he complained they fought, and she called him a controlling jerk despite of his best arguments about safety.

He was bent down, scavenging he floor for his underwear when the door swung open loudly and Bruce let out a whelp and tried to hide himself.

Selina giggled and kicked the door back with her heel.

"Oh my! I have never seen the moon up so early," she commented cheekily.

"Ha ha," he said sardonically, "can you please not come in unannounced like that? It could had been anyone."

She rolled her eyes and took a sip of whatever she was dinking from a mug.

"It could have been me or Alfred, and we both have seen your pale ass plenty of times before."

"Selina…" he sighed shaking his head as he finished dressing his trousers.

He walked towards her and pretended he was about to kiss her but instead held her wrist and took a sip of her drink before choking and spitting on the floor in disgust.

"Hey!"

"What the hell you're drinking?!"

She blushed a little, but tried to keep a straight dignified face crossing away from him and jumping on her favourite place perched on the window, her legs swinging. She took another sip and licked her lips.

"Dunno. But it smelled good. I find it tasty."

He just stared at her with incredulity.

"This is gross. It's greasy. Is it oil?"

"Might be."

"I can't wait to be able to take you out to an actual dinner date, with actual food."

She turned her shoulders, but he saw a little smile behind her mug as she took another sip of the offending witch's concoction.

The night they faced Bane was one of the worst of Bruce's life. And they walked back to Heaven in silence, or at least that's how he perceived it. Maybe Selina said something, maybe there was other sounds from animals scavenging for food, muffled screams of unseen horrors, or even the ocean, before the fall of the bridges Bruce never noticed how could it be so loud. But that night, not even their boots on the pavement were making sounds. All Bruce could hear was white noise, a high pitch rigging not unlike the one that brought the bats to attack Bane. And all Bruce could see was Selina's head trapped by the large grotesque hands of the monster that wanted to kill her just to teach him a lesson. Like she was just some collateral damage, with no value of her own but to be the easier way to get to him.

And it worked. Because yes, she was alive, but he had almost lost her, again.

And it sickened him how cliché that statement was becoming, and he was well aware of how natural it became to her, to risk her life for him or because of him, and that thought, that horrible notion of her thinking her life was so unprecious scared him more than any crazy clown, than any doomsday event coming next. How could she be so careless? How could she still make him feel like that same cowardly little boy that did nothing as he watched his mother and father die? And it almost happened exactly the same. Because, again, she was completely useless, and there is no guarantee that next time she would be as fast or lucky and she would die.

Every day that he selfishly insisted in keeping her close to him and to the huge target he had on his back, it made the day of her death to come faster and faster. It was driving him crazy, because he refused to just accept the possibility that she could be taken from him even if he also knew it was crazy to feel like that, arrogant even. To think he was entitled to some sort of immunity, that past suffering made him the exception to the curse of loving something death could touch. Hadn't his parents taught him humility? Hadn't their death put him in his rightful place? Showed him he could have all the world's riches, and yet be as vulnerable to losing everything just like the poorest of man?

She said something, and the white noise subdued. She sounded urgent and grabbed his wrist, obligating him to stop. Bruce shut his eyes, trying to emerge from his silent spiral of despair and reach out to her.

"Selina? What is it?"

"IthinkI'mgonnabesick," she managed in a fast strangled voice before emptying her stomach on his shoes.

Bruce watched his hand shake as he held her hair back.

Cold fear turning his insides into ice.

Maybe the plant was really poisonous, maybe she had been living in stolen time, maybe she was dying after all, and again, there was nothing he could do to stop it.

I'm not dead, I just have been sick as a dog thanks to the first dose of the vaccine. As much as I appreciate being able to take the shot, especially considering I'm currently residing in the worst country on this planet during this plague (I am Brazilian, if you didn't know it yet), but it's still frustrating because I have bronchitis and asthma. So, of course, I got pretty bad reaction. Same as when I took the H1N1 vaccine back on the day, and I'll probably get sick again when I take the second shot. Life is endless misery and I pray for the sweet release of death. But I'm grateful, I promise, I just take a lot of joy in complaining.

ANYWAY, enough of that. I hope you are enjoying Bruce in his full doomer mode. I think he's kinda funny.