After the demise of his parents, Bruce found out there is a particular loneliness he had not been aware before when he was someone's son. A weird sensation of not belonging, of being redundant, as much as most people didn't dislike him, and we way most used to be adulated than repelled, there was nowhere he felt expected, needed. As much as Alfred tried to do a good job raising him, a butler and an orphan aren't exactly the trademark Tradition American Family. They weren't even a family in a way they used to be when his parents were alive and Alfred was like the extra parents Bruce was so very lucky to have. There was so much hurt and grief, and sometimes he even wondered if they might have been feeding back each other's pain this whole time. With Selina, that hole wasn't exactly supplied. But the way she created in him a whole new nameless crave helped somehow. If his grief felt like a black hole eating every chance of joy he might stumble upon; Selina was a supernova of chaos, love, desire and mystery distracting him, worse, proving to him that it was possible to find beauty and meaning emerged the darkest of nights.

He never thought he'd fell dislocated beside her, she who had even less of a place in the world. Well, he was wrong.

"I'm making tea, do you want tea?"

Bruce tried to follow the three Siren's owners but each one of them behaved more chaotically as they entered the kitchenette of the bar's mezzanine apartment. Barbara who was surprisingly agile for a woman so far off, seemed unable to be stopped as she turned the stove on and rummaged around the cupboards pulling containers, china, whatists, god-knows-whats. Bruce could swear he even smelt coffee, a luxury they haven't been able to afford in ages since the lockdown. Tabitha followed her trying to make her partner stop, but having little success.

"Barbara, just sit down."

"But I want tea, and Selina wants too, don't you?"

"I'll have my tea if there's still any," said Selina climbing on the counter and sitting on her folded leg.

"I've already told you I didn't drink your stupid tea," snapped Tabitha.

"Yeah, right, and it just disappeared in thin air."

"No, it didn't, you just don't remember where you hid it."

"I'd not have to hide it if you didn't drink it all without concern for others."

"Girls, girls, no reason to fight over tea. Mr Wayne," and Bruce jumped when he heard his name, he had been half-sure to be in a weird random dream, "how do you take your tea?"

"He doesn't drink tea, only coffee," said Selina before he could answer.

"Barbara, for fuck's sake," complained Tabitha, "forget the damn tea, we have something more urgent to discuss!"

"A teenage pregnancy is hardly something urgent, my dear, one can do very little about it after it already happened. I'm more amazed that, this is the normal irresponsible teenage thing this one," she nodded to Selina, "decided to pick to act out. Now, if I'm been pulled from bed I'm having tea."

"There is no pregnancy," protested Selina through her teeth.

"Fine!" Tabitha shouted exasperated. "I'll make the damn coffee, tea, whatever, just sit the fucking down."

"Why my love, when you offer so kindly," Barbara answered back in a sardonic tone that clashed not only with her choice of words but also with the lovingly way she caressed Tabitha's face before crossing paths with her to reach the small table and sitting. "Come sit with me."

Bruce, who had been standing awkwardly in the corner, searched nervously for Selina's eyes as if asking permission, and when she ignored him, he obeyed Barbara, feeling even more weird as he pulled a chair to sit by her. He stared at his own bobbing knee as Selina ignored Barbara, still perched on the counter and looking at her nails as if they were very interesting, the only sound now was from Tabitha preparing tea.

"Selina, sit down here."

"I'm not a dog!"

"Oh dear, a dog is far more reliable and easy to deal with."

"Jesus, Barbara." But she did jump from the counter and pulled a chair, rotated it and sat backwards.

"So, how far along you are," Barbara asked.

"I'm not fucking pregnant."

"That's not what your beau said, honey."

"Selina…" Bruce tried, but she cut him out.

"He's very stupid, you see. I know I'm not pregnant because I had my period," and she said that last sentence giving Bruce a condescending look.

That broke the spell of awkwardness binding Bruce and he turned to Selina, brows frowned in incredulity.

"When? I didn't see it."

"Despite you deep wishes, you don't actually live in my panties, Bruce, and despite of what your delusions, you don't know everything there is to know about me."

Barbara sighed deeply.

"I think I'll have my wine glass now, Tabby."

"Here's your mint tea," said Tabitha putting a mug in front of Barbara, she somehow seemed more calm now, her lips were pressed as she was holding a laugh. She also served tea to Selina and brought a coffee to herself, and to Bruce's surprise, to him too. Then, she sat beside Barbara and looked over the rim of her fuming cup as Selina and Bruce fought silently.

"So, Mr Wayne," continued Barbara, "she says she had her period. All solved."

Bruce sighed.

"She didn't."

"Yes, I did! It just wasn't a lot, happens when I'm not eating properly."

Barbara exchanged a look with Tabitha.

"Selina, you might have some spotting, normal in pregnancies, any other symptom?"

"No."

Bruce rolled his eyes.

"She drank oil in a mug the other day, and has been feeling ill sometimes."

"You don't know that!"

"You never take breakfast anymore."

"I might be tired of baked beans, have you thought about that?"

"Please, Selina, you never rejected food before, and you actually threw up the other day."

"After that meatloaf used my head as a stress ball!"

"Okay, okay, stop, you both are giving me a headache," sighed Tabitha. "There is something wrong with your tea, Selina?"

"No," she attempted to sip, but her face turned green and she pushed the mug away so abruptly a pool of tea formed on the table, "what is this crap?"

"Mint tea," answered Tabitha exchanging another nervous look with Barbara.

"It's smelling funny."

"Tabby," sighed Barbara, "do you remember where I put the unopened pregnancy tests?"

ooo

A few minutes after, Bruce found himself queuing in front of the bathroom beside Barbara and Tabitha and witnessing the most outlandish conversation he had ever not been exactly part of.

"I just can't believe this," muttered Tabitha passing, "twice in a roll? Am I cursed?"

Barbara rolled her eyes.

"This is not about you, Tabby."

"Trust me, I know it isn't, soon I'll be the only non-pregnant woman in this godforsaken city."

Barbara snorted and turned to Bruce.

"Ignore her, Bruce, she's grumpy when she doesn't have her beauty sleep," she battered her eyelids, her expression morphing in that sweet one that made Bruce's back hair stand. "But tell me, dear, how are things in Heaven?"

Tabitha's appalled face moved from her partner do look angrily at Bruce.

"This irresponsible idiot got Selina pregnant and you want to chitchat with him?"

"Please don't tell me you'll play the angry dad role, Tabs, it's very antifeminist of you."

"Oh my god," moaned Tabitha in a suffering tone, but before they could keep their bizarre conversation going, the bathroom door opened ajar. Selina came out from it, her face inscrutable, she ignored the older women's questioning looks and grabbed Bruce's wrist, dragging him inside the bathroom and closing the door shut.

"Selina…"

She wordlessly pushed the stick on his chest and fell seated on the toilet lid.

His hands were shaking when he looked down to the two blue lines. Bruce swallowed down hard. His head felt light, as if it was full of cotton balls.

He kneeled in front of her. Selina had her face covered with her hands.

"Hey," Bruce tried, he put the pregnancy test on the floor and caressed Selina's forearms, "Selina, look at me."

"I am so fucking stupid, Bruce," she finally said, her voice trembling.

"You are not, be we, both of us, might be."

Her shoulders shook and for a horrible moment he thought she was sobbing, but when her hands feel, she was laughing. Granted, it was a very maniac laugh, but still took him by surprise.

"We are fucked."

I'm sorry for my lengthy absence, I was ill after the second shot and a lot of crap happened in my personal life lately giving me a creative block, but I feel fine now. I hope you enjoyed this chapter, I love writing banter. Please tell me your thoughts, I love chatting with you all.