Commander Shepard Normandy Commander Quarters
Blood pooled in a crimson puddle, still dripping from my face as I kneeled in pain, gasping for petty breaths. I just got the living shit kicked out of me. I crawled towards the door of the shanty hideaway me and all the other orphans called home. What we had made of the place; makeshift decorations and hand me down furniture now reduced to a mound of black char. The bodies of my closest friends; my only family, turned into dust and ashes. Unrecognizable. As the dark figure closed in on me, her blue features became more prominent.
'Tell me what you know Earth child and I will leave you alone, you could be spared. If you do not, I will be forced to take it from you. I do not wish to do that.' Her face was lit clearly by the moons gaze as she stared down on me with a sinister sear. The confusion was palpable on my face, but I refused to waiver, thinking about how much worse giving out the information would be for me. 'Take it from me?' Before I could settle my mind and the wicked scenarios that materialized and actually comprehend what she meant, she grabbed my face with her long, limber alien fingers and pulled me into an aggressive hold as her eyes turned a cavernous black.
For a moment, the sensation felt like pins and needles pinging on different parts of my brain. My eyesight diminished and I reached out for anything that could save me before my ribs tightened around my lungs, threatening to crush them. Then came a flare of painful explosions that forced the information the asari had been so fixated on getting to the forefront of my mind. She dropped me back into that now dark crimson puddle, the pain and trauma from the probing leaving me too weak to fight or move.
I woke up from the hellish memory, sheathed in sweat with a migraine tearing at the fibers of my mind. Their was an unwelcome but familiar pang of pins and needles; a fresh wave of anxiety rushing in right behind it. The only thing I was able to do was grab at my chest before my mind's frenzy heightened, causing me to kick off the blanket that smothered me and crash off the bed into my nightstand. Unfortunately for me, my eyesight became a blur of dark shadows and halo lights. I was taken back to the memory I had just relieved. Only this time, I was awake and unable to escape the nightmare episode.
Liara Medbay Storage
It was about two thirty AM and usually, I would have been tucked away, resting peacefully in my Alliance issued bunk. After the not so revealing conversation with Joker though, I spent hours digging up whatever I could about Shepard, the thought of being a stalker so far out of my mind's sight. Moat of the searches brought up recounts of Shepard's part in the Skyllian Blitz and not long after, The Battle of Torfan. Alongside those were numerous commendation ceremony videos and fan pages dedicated to fantasies and speculations surrounding the mysterious woman. I was not the only one obsessed.
Hour after hour, I hit the same wall of basic information again and again. Not even Shepard's birthday was broadcasted, luckily I had convinced Joker to tell me before I retreated from the pilots desk. Right before I was finally about to give up though, I stumbled upon a small forum that appeared to be ran from someone that grew up in the same area as Shepard, not Vancouver like my initial findings had led me to believe, but somewhere in the southern regions of the Northern collective states. The writer was also about the same age as Shepard, going by simply 'Ru'.
Their were a few different tabs on the homepage that led to different things, all associated with Shepard. I clicked on the first tab and a flood of photos poured into my vision. Some were of paintings; dark and obscure in nature, others were photos taken in different places. All of them were beautiful and captured the emotion of the creator. That of which appeared to be Shepard herself. I lingered on the paintings a bit more, the dark themes and surrealism encapturing me, evoking feelings not even prothean art had from me. For a moment, I questioned the authenticity. 'Shepard surely does not have time to partake in the arts, she is a warrior of her people.' A closer inspection of the painting said otherwise though. At the bottom corner of each painting was a small signature. 'M.R.S '. I recognized the handwriting, I had watched Shepard sign off on mission reports time and time again. The scribbling was unmistakable. Part of me wanted to ask Shepard, but their lied the cost of my searching, I did not know or want to tell her that I stayed up all night to stalk and learn anything about her instead of just asking. A mortifying thought of her rejection made sure I would not say anything. I settled on holding it to myself until one day where I felt comfortable enough in asking. For now I would just have to enjoy this secret me and her shared separately.
'3:45 Great.' The words echoed through my empty room as I stood up from the extranet terminal. I could not stay up the entire night however restless I felt, and so, I decided on a cup of tea before lying down. I made my way through the med bay where Shiala slept peacefully under sedatives. Once I made it to the galley, I started up the refreshment machine, going through a few options before I found a tea with a sleep aid infused in it. As soon as I went to press the button, I heard a series of thumps followed by a crashing noise. I surveyed the galley, realizing the noise could only have come from one place. I rushed over to the door and froze before opening it. Their was no lock on Shepard's door, but my body produced a lock of its own as my hands warmed up past their normal cold temperatures, causing my hands to become uncontrollably moist. The points of my crest softened, lowering themselves down as a show of my timidness. That all reverted after yet another series of thuds followed by grunts. I opened the door in haste, stunned by the sight in front of me.
Shepard
I grabbed at my chest once again, pulling away the tight fabric of my duty uniform shirt, trying my hardest to pick myself off of the ground. The results were unsuccessful, as my arm lost its strength, taking everything off of my desk I had managed to crawl over to. I fell back to the ground, grunting out my disdain. Betrayed by my body once again, I heaved through the madness that floated through my mind. A small wisping noise came from somewhere ahead of me, but I could barely focus on it until I saw a shadowy figure produce itself. I could only make out a blue silhouette. My heart dropped at the blurred sight and my biotics began to flare uncontrollably. Charged up and ready to strike, my vision began to become clear as the new wave of adrenaline shocked my system.
"Commander? Shepard? It is me, what is wrong?" Liara kneeled next to me, her beautiful voice feeling my hollow spirit, shaking away the nightmares and anxiety. I took a much needed deep breath before trying to speaking, getting my answer together. "I just had a nightmare that's all. Nothing serious." She looked at me raising the markings on her face akin to eyebrows, I could tell she was unconvinced. "Shepard, surely you do not think of me as a fool. You are lying on the ground suffocating, and your room is a mess. This was more than just a nightmare."
Of course she saw right through me, I was more surprised that she was willing to challenge me. I should've known better than to undermine the situation to her, after Feros, I realized she had a supernatural power over me. My hardwired paranoia still got the better of me though. I sat there for a second, as she looked onto me with worry and care in her eyes, knowing she could see the desperate battle playing across my face. I felt her hand raise to the back of my neck as she toyed with the hair on the nape of my neck. I gave in as she held her gaze with those beautiful blue ocean eyes.
"You're right. When I was younger, before the Alliance recruited me, I was just an orphan growing up on the streets of New Atlanta. I ran with a gang during that time, it's how I kept my self paid and alive. I did what I had to in order to survive. The gang I ran with were called the tenth street reds, a pretty brutal gang in the southern parts of the Northern collective states. I had just got promoted from street runner to information carrier. The older members would use us as spies to get info and send us off to give info in places they were too known in. There was an asari on the run from another asari, and I had relayed the info that got her off world. It was pretty much all word of mouth, she was pretty clear she didn't want a paper trail. The other orphans had made it back to the hideout before me. When I made it back it was completely burned down with exception of the support beams. All of them were dead because of me, The asari who had been in pursuit caught a glimpse of me and I knew she was about to come after me. I tried using my biotics, but she was too strong, she threw me around for a while, trying to get the info out of me and when she realized I wouldn't, she grabbed me and forced her way through my mind, leaving me for dead."
The look of horror on Liara's face said it all and it made me regret telling her for a moment. Still, I had never shared it with anyone. Their was a peace I hadn't felt in years that washed over me. She pulled me into the tightest embrace i'd ever felt. I didn't flinch or try to run away, although every muscle in my body wanted to. Instead I hooked my arms around her, pulling her body deeper into mine, letting her gentle, sweet scent fill my nostrils. " I am so sorry Shepard. I did not realize or know of the trauma you had to endure in your childhood. I did not pick up any of it through the meld."
"Yea well after that incident, I worked on closing off parts of my mind. The tenth street reds didn't let me just retire after that. So I just got better." I decided to omit all of the asari I slept with to get to that point.
"That would explain why melding with you is such a tiring process, your mental resolve is so much more fortified than most. You never let that guard down. I wish you would have had someone to protect you." I could hear the sincerity in her voice and feel it in the way she wrapped her body into mine even tighter than I thought possible before letting go to look into my eyes. More importantly though, I could feel the hardness I instilled in myself begin to chip away. She was the first to have this affect on me; and the feeling had start to become intoxicating. A level of safety and vulnerability I had never found in myself or anyone else; I didn't want it to end, and from the look on her face, neither did she.
"Liara, i'm not one for romantic sentiments, but I need this. I need you. I can't explain it, but it's almost as if destiny brought us together. I just feel this strong need to keep you close to me and never let you go. And not because of the beacon and whatever connection it's giving us, it's deeper than that." She got more and more misty eyed as I rambled on. "Shepard, I feel it to. As if we were here before, as if we have done this, and been here before." I nodded my agreement as we looked into each other's eyes. Not wanting to lose the momentum of this moment, I pulled her into a deep kiss, with a passion completely foreign to me and my inner being. I was rewarded with a sigh of longing as I pulled us out of the entrancing moment; the only witness to it the dark expanse of space from the window in my cabin.
"I would like to help you with some of those scars Shepard, if... you would allow me to." I looked at her confused for a moment before she carried on, rubbing her hands together in a nervous spell. "Like I have said before, the meld is so much more than just a tool for reproduction, we asari use it for times of hardships, in tender moments, and even to help consolidate memories." I nodded my head, understanding where this was going. "You should be at your most comfortable Shepard, and in a position to receive the help I am offering. It would also help if you did not keep up so many mental barriers for me to work against."
"Well then maybe we should lay in my bed then." I watched over my shoulder as the suggestion made the young asari blush and turn a purple hue. Once she realized I was serious, the purple in her face got even deeper. I motioned her to lay next to me and she sat down nervously, scooting her body up, resting her head in the crook of my neck. She stuttered her words as she spoke to me, and I could feel her heart beat become faster and faster. "Okay Shepard just try to relax."
"Maybe I should be saying that to you." She laughed and I felt some of the tension she was feeling subside. "Embrace eternity." I felt the gentle nudge of her mind, waiting for an invitation into my own, and I let her in. I let down a few more barriers and she did the same, pouring in an intense amount of love and care I wasn't equipped for, forcing her mind slightly back. I caught myself before pushing her out completely, speaking through the meld.
'Sorry Liara, i'm not used to this.'
'There is no need to apologize, just try and focus on relaxing, I promise not to go too far.' She let herself back in, probing through gently. The Cipher Shiala imparted to me found its way between us in an effortless transaction as she traversed through my memories. She crossed a few more of my childhood; days where me and the other kids would go off to this lake near the hideout we stayed in and swim for hours, enjoying each others company. Another memory of us having our own version of thanksgiving dinner surfaced. Some of the reds had invited us to eat and spend time together somewhere nice.
'What is thanksgiving Shepard?'
' It's a human holiday. The original meaning is kinda lost, but families spend the day together, being thankful for each other and expressing that. There's usually a feast of some sorts.'
'Interesting. Asari have a similar holiday, although it is not celebrated as much as it once was.'
She kept going, getting deeper and more personal this time, and I tried my hardest to relax but the further she went, the harder it got.
She poured in more love as she linked to another memory. 'If it becomes too much Shepard, I can stop.'
'No Liara, it's okay.'
This one more in depth.
'Shepard are you coming? There's a spot we're about to go hit, we sure could use your combat expertise.' I sat in front of a canvas, brush darting intensely back and forth. 'You guys go ahead, i'm gonna finish this.' The boy in ragged, tattered clothing rolled his eyes as he turned for the exit. Another orphan, no more than two years older than I was stepped up, wrapping her arms around me, kissing the side of my head before walking out.
Liara could sense the tension rising and spread her affection over me like a blanket. I relaxed again, allowing my mind to speak. 'That feels like an entirely different lifetime ago. I was too young to really know what love was, but back then you took what you got. That was when I was 14, right before the Alliance took me to vancouver.' I saw a flash of one of her memories and my instinct reached out for it before she could withdraw it. 'Shepard I-'
'Was this earlier? You looked me up?'
'I am sorry Shepard I just wanted to know more about you, but I did not want to burden you or make you uncomfortable.' I could feel Liara's mind retreating back, and I reached out in an attempt to show her it was okay. To no avail, breaking the meld.
"Its ok Liara really, i'm not mad. You could have asked me though, I would have told you anything you wanted to know." I felt the smile on her face as she looked up into my eyes to meet my gaze. "That is a relief, I was for sure if you found out, you would reject me." I grabbed her face gently, pulling her into a slow passionate kiss. "Never T'soni. What did you find? I can't imagine there's much, I make sure of it."
"Well at first that is how it seemed, but then I found a website, a forum of sorts. It was filled with obscure info about you. I did not get through much of it, just a few paintings and photos that say they were taken or created by you. I was not sure of the credibility of the artwork, the sites only source was the site's owner, a human named 'Ru'." I laughed and for a moment I could see the confusion on the woman's face. "That is my creator page, that's my middle name. There's a website that allows people who create to post their work with little to no connection to themselves. I don't really want to be recognized for my art, or have anyone else recognize me."
"I suppose that makes sense. You are truly a great artist though Shepard, your work could hang in galleries."
"Actually it's funny you say that, back in my hometown there was a small art gallery near my neighborhood. I submitted a couple of pieces before I left for Vancouver, I can't imagine they're still hanging but i'm pretty sure they still have them. Maybe one day i'll get the chance to take you." Liara smiled into my neck as she snuggled closer into me, her eyes fluttering close. I could tell she was exhausted from the meld, and I had no intention of letting her out of my bed. I closed my arms around her in a tight embrace, finding a peaceful sleep.