Yui Hirasawa couldn't sleep. She had been trying to fall asleep for what felt like hours, wrapped in blankets under the silent darkness of her home, but the events earlier in the day wouldn't stop racing through her mind. Every time she closed her eyes, she saw herself, standing on stage with the rest of Ho-kago Tea Time, giving their final performance to a packed auditorium filled with cheering fans. With the lack of stimulation her room provided, it was too easy to hear the sounds of her bandmates like they were right next to her once more.
Ritsu's drumming provided the necessary baseline for their performance. While the eager girl normally got excited and rushed too quickly through her parts, today she had kept perfect time with everyone. Tsumugi's nimble fingers danced over the keyboard, her unique sound a perfect counterbalance to the guitars and bass in front of her. Whenever it felt like the song needed something extra, Tsumugi was there, filling in the gaps with the skill of a trained professional. Mio owned the bassline with her bass guitar, smiling and playing with all the confidence she was unable to muster off the stage. Yui smiled to herself, recalling the feeling of her and Mio's voices harmonizing as they sang their first song, Fuwa Fuwa Time, together. Despite their differences, when they both sang, Yui only ever heard one voice. Yui herself stood fearlessly at the front of the group, playing her guitar Giita and singing with everything she had. There was no longer a need to worry about forgetting lyrics or notes for the band's songs. Every movement had become tightly tied to who she was, a part of her that refused to be ignored. Playing and singing for HTT was as natural as breathing, and Yui loved it. Rounding out their band was Azusa, playing the rhythm guitar part with the serious, yet content look on her face that she reserved for performances. Yui's thoughts stuttered when Azusa popped into her mind.
Azu-nyan…
Time advanced, and Yui was remembering waking up earlier that evening, having fallen asleep next to her friends in the Light Music Club's clubroom following their performance. It had been there that reality had caught up to the five of them, that the wonderful flower they had worked so hard to grow and cultivate was beginning to wilt. The tears that stained Yui's cheeks in those moments threated to spill out once more in the present, but the senior held back. If she started crying now, she'd only upset her sister Ui. The real reason her mind had flashed forwards was Azusa.
Out of the five of them, Azusa was the only one who hadn't started crying as the truth bared its fangs. Yui hadn't thought much of it in the moment, with her own concerns distracting her, but it struck her as wildly out of place now. Worse still, when she had woken up first after the five of them had fallen asleep together in their clubroom, she had noticed clear tear stains on Azusa's sleeping face. The younger girl had quickly wiped them away when she woke up. The senior kicked herself for not putting the pieces together in the moment.
Why did you try to hide your tears, Azu-nyan? I wish you'd open up a bit more to the rest of us. To me.
Yui's affection for her kouhai was no secret, least of all to Azusa. Despite the younger girl's resistance to Yui's advances on the surface, the bond between them was just as tight as it was with the other girls, if not tighter. Something about Azusa made Yui feel different, and while she couldn't describe it with her own words, the fact that Azusa felt the need to hide her sadness from Yui ate away at her almost as badly as it did when something was upsetting Ui.
The phone on Yui's night stand started vibrating angrily, causing the girl's eyes to snap open and remind her that she was being a hypocrite. She checked the name on the blindingly bright screen to confirm that it was her parents again before placing the phone back on the night stand. The insistent vibrations sputtered and died out, adding another missed call to the growing pile. Yui wasn't in the mood to talk to her parents, a decision she'd probably pay for when they stopped by the house in a few weeks, but she had good reason to ignore them. For all they knew, she was asleep.
I guess we're both hiding things Azu-nyan, ne?
A frustrated sigh escaped Yui's lips. Things used to be simple, just as the name Light Music Club implied. She closed her eyes again, reaching out for the sounds of her band. Though the music returned, it was distinctly fainter. The more Yui tried to focus on it, the more elusive it became. Soon, the only thing Yui could hear was her own guitar, aimlessly wandering around with its playing. Her song was grasping, searching desperately for the four missing parts that it needed to complete itself, but nothing answered. Anxiety crept up on the brown-haired girl, and she bit back the urge to call out for her friends. She settled for pulling the covers of her bed more tightly around herself, shivering despite the room's warmth.
Calm down, Yui. You'll see them tomorrow. They aren't gone. Everything will be just like normal, you'll see. Ui said so.
Mercifully, Yui could feel herself beginning to drift off into sleep. However worried she was, the day's stimulations and their repetition in her head had worn her down. Yui almost chuckled to herself. Overthinking things like this wasn't like her. There was only one absolute truth Yui chose to focus on as she slipped into a dreamless sleep.
We'll stay together. Even if it's only for a little while longer…
November 1st, 2009, 9 Days Later
The door to the clubroom gave way solemnly. Azusa Nakano stepped into the sunlit room, her halfhearted paces barely even disturbing the suffocating calm as it enveloped her. Only when the 2nd-year placed her guitar case on the wooden ground with a gentle thud did the abnormal quiet catch up to her. The girl blinked, downcast eyes taking in her surroundings for the first time that day. She was the first person there. That was unusual. She was used to her senpais assembling and slacking off long before she ever set foot in the clubroom every day after school. The promise of Tsumugi's tea and desserts seemed to motivate some members to arrive early more than playing music ever did. Azusa sighed. I might have to get used to this.
Like a wild haymaker, the idea struck the girl at a blind spot in her memory, sending her mind reeling. Shut up shut up shut up, brain. It's November now. November! She reasoned with herself furiously, denying her wayward thought with all mental ability available to her.
Seeking distraction, she practically sprinted over to feed the Light Music Club's pet turtle, Ton, all while fighting to ignore the thoughts in her head. They're leaving soon. That culture festival performance was our last concert. I'm going to be alone. I'll never see them again.
Every flake of food in Ton's tank seemed to drag another unpleasant thought to the surface. Azusa frowned. She had to be thinking about this the wrong way. She'd certainly see the others again, even after they went to college. There was no way Yui would leave her alone for such a long time, no matter how much she wanted her to. No sooner was the cap on Ton's food dispenser returned than the clubroom doors burst open, revealing the ecstatic Yui Hirasawa in question. "Hello, November clubroom!" the brown-haired girl announced dramatically, taking in the room with a 360-degree spin like she hadn't seen it almost every day for the past three years.
Behind the cheerful lead guitarist of their band, the other 3 club members filed in calmly. Childhood friends Mio Akiyama and Ritsu Tainaka were lost in discussion about the day's classes, while Tsumugi Kotobuki moved gracefully past them and the still spinning Yui. With a friendly nod to Azusa, the blonde heiress retreated to the back of the room to prepare the afternoon's tea. Azusa greeted her senpais courteously, which caught Yui's wildly roving attention. "Azu-nyan!" She exclaimed, rushing towards the smaller girl, arms wide open. "You beat us here!"
Though Yui's charge was devastatingly swift, Azusa was more than prepared for the challenge. Acting on years of muscle memory, Azusa dodged right out of the way at the last possible moment, leaving Yui to stumble forwards and swerve violently into a seated position at her spot at the club's dining table, made of four desks. The girl took no notice of her new position, all of her focus devoted to giving Azusa a genuinely hurt stare. "Azu-nyan hates me…" she muttered, holding back a sniffle of despair.
Mio rolled her eyes while Ritsu chuckled. "Yui-chan, nobody enjoys getting tackled, no matter how much affection you put behind it," the dark-haired bassist explained for the umpteenth time.
"Yeah," Ritsu chimed in. "You need to make sure to do it when she isn't expecting it," the club president explained with a devilish smirk.
Yui's eyes widened in rare understanding, much to Azusa's chagrin, while Mio smacked Ritsu on the back of the head for her comment. "You know that's not what I meant," she scolded before turning to face Azusa and smiling apologetically. "Sorry to keep you waiting. Sawako-sensei wanted to talk to us about our college applications again. Were you here long?"
Azusa ignored the tightening in her chest that came with hearing the band's future mentioned. "No, I just got here myself," she responded simply. "Are we going to pract-"
"Mugiiii," Yui whined from behind Azusa, interrupting her. "How long until the tea is ready?"
All the energy the girl exuded not one minute ago had completely abandoned her. If a deflated balloon could take a human form, Azusa was looking at it. It would have been cute, if it wasn't somewhat pathetic. "Just a few minutes!" came Tsumugi's voice from the far side of the clubroom. "It'll be ready before you know it!"
With Tsumugi's promise in mind, Yui held herself back from completely falling apart while the other members took their respective seats at the table, Ritsu seated between Yui and Azusa with Mio across from her. While light conversation was made and Azusa forced herself not to think about her troubles, the club's advisor and teacher to the 4 seniors, Sawako Yamanaka, joined them. Ritsu was mostly interested in bragging about their performance at the cultural festival, a topic that had frequently dominated their conversation. Even this idle chatter faded away, however, when Tsumugi appeared with cupcakes and hot tea for everyone.
Azusa drank from her unique cat-shaped mug, the tea as fulfilling as any other day. Life slowly seeped back into Yui as she filled herself with tea and cupcake power. Ritsu devoured a cupcake and reached for another when she thought nobody was looking. Mio and Tsumugi drank serenely, enjoying each sip with far more reverence than Azusa had ever been able to show for her food. Sawako simply seemed grateful for the break from her job, nibbling on a cupcake absentmindedly without acknowledging anyone.
An inward sigh echoed in Azusa's mind. It didn't look like Ho-kago Tea Time would be practicing today either, or any time soon. While the thought disappointed her, it wasn't nearly as unsettling as the silence that had snuck up on the table.
It's happening again.
Ever since the festival, something malicious had taken hold of the group. Azusa looked around. Everyone appeared to be focused on what was left on their plates rather than each other, the relaxed atmosphere of the group's arrival shattered. Days of bubbly conversation over Tsumugi's sweets or rare practices where the group managed to perform in sync for a brilliant moment of perfect understanding between players had disappeared. Their dazzling performance in the cultural festival a week or so ago had evidently drained something vital from the group. At first, Azusa had written it off as a passing issue, lingering sadness over the bitter reality that was the impending end of the school year. When air-headed Yui started to be affected, however, Azusa realized that the problem wasn't just going to go away. The days would start normally, but by the time everyone finished their tea and snacks, it was as if they had forgotten why they came to the clubroom in the first place. Eventually, everyone just sort of decided to go home rather than sit in awkward silence, and that had been the club's life since the festival.
The only person not looking down or away besides Azusa was Sawako, who had taken up a contemplative stare that swept with clearly forced control over the five club members. When the two made eye contact, Azusa looked away quickly. She couldn't bring herself to meet the intense gaze of the teacher. As the quiet stretched into nearly unbearable territory, Azusa mentally prepared herself to try breaking the silence. She knew her band mates had to deal with everyone going their separate ways next year too. The idea of bringing up her concerns was daunting, but even the worst reprimand for letting her emotions out haphazardly like this was better than the silence they were enduring. Just as she was about to speak, a familiar interruption stopped her. "Your cupcakes are delicious, Mugi-chan!" Yui praised wholeheartedly.
Tsumugi started, as if coming out of a trance. She recovered rapidly and smiled gratefully at Yui. "Thank you, Yui-chan. I have a few extras if you're still hungry." Knowing what Yui's response would be, Tsumugi moved to retrieve more treats from her bag, allowing her blush at the praise to be hidden.
Yui's shining eyes tracked Tsumugi's movements with a hawk's precision while Azusa watched on. When Tsumugi revealed another set of cupcakes, Yui squealed with such innocent joy that even Mio couldn't keep a small grin off her face. Azusa could feel a soft smile slinking onto her own countenance, despite herself.
At least one of us seems to be able to conduct business as usual. Yui-senpai always seems to know what to say. I should just leave these things to her.
The rest of the day passed like a dream. Azusa could recall an argument between Ritsu and Yui over the merits of cupcakes versus cake, as well as Sawako berating Tsumugi for some incident involving passing notes that had occurred during classes that day, but that was all that stood out. Perhaps I'm overreacting, she posited to herself as she retrieved her untouched guitar. We're still just a little sad that the cultural festival is over. There's a bunch of months before graduation. We'll be practicing again when I least expect it. We always pull through when it counts, somehow. I have to believe in my senpais.
Thoughts of reassurance gave Azusa the determination to push aside her concerns for the day. She followed her retreating club mates, too lost in her own thoughts to notice that Sawako had stayed behind. The teacher watched her students as they left the clubroom, chatting about nothing after accomplishing nothing. That's par for the course for them though, her logical side pointed out. They probably didn't even notice something was wrong. Well, Azusa's definitely noticed. And Yui's known since the festival ended. I suppose I'll give the others another day or two to catch up.
The teacher closed the room's windows for the night. She had known for a while that this would happen. "I've been there before," she whispered in confidence to the slowly dying sunlight. "I know how much the thought of separation hurts." She cast a glance to the empty chairs around an empty table, and smirked, placing her hands on her hips.
"Don't you worry, girls," Sawako declared proudly, her almost ominous tone filling the empty room.
With that announcement hanging unfinished in the air, Sawako strutted out the door, allowing silence to claim the clubroom once more.