Author's Note:

Some of you may or may not remember a version of this fic floating around a few years ago. I was only 16 when I started writing it, and I didn't think it was very good anymore. I wasn't proud of what I'd posted, which is why I deleted it. I forgot about it for a long time. I recently rediscovered it when I was going through some of my old files. I haven't done a ton of writing in between now and then, but I thought it would be nice to finally give it a proper ending. I also wanted to rework some of the older scenes, clean it up, and, in general, make it a more enjoyable experience to read. I hope people like it.

Haru xx

"I hate this..." Nico complained to himself. He was referring to a lot of things: the fact that he was back in school, the fact that it was 7th period and he hadn't eaten anything yet, the fact that he hadn't turned in his homework from before break, the fact that he had no friends, but mostly because he was stuck in gym class. Nico was not a fan of gym class. Nico was not a fan of anything that required more than minimal effort.

When he saw that the school offered a course called "Self-Defense" for the second semester, he hadn't been too interested. That was before reading a quick summary of the class and realizing that every Friday was a relaxation day which just meant sleeping in class. Nico had the summary from a pile of small pamphlets stacked on a folding table in the gym. Nico had immediately signed up. If it meant he could sleep in class one a week and get points for it, he sure as hell wasn't going to say no!

Now Nico wasn't as sure. Most of the class was girls, which Nico wasn't too happy about. They'd all formed little circles of twos and threes, making him feel very isolated. Nico nervously began twisting the ring on his finger as sat against the wall, arms crossed over his knees.

He put his head on his knees and closed his eyes. He must have nodded off, because the next thing he knew, a very short man was shaking his shoulder yelling something about cupcakes.

"…cupcake!" The man, who Nico guessed was the teacher, finished. "You don't have time for that! An attack could come from anywhere! How can you defend yourself if you're asleep?"

Nico glared at him, annoyed by the tiny man. He half expected him to take out a megaphone and start yelling in his face again.

The teacher did not look pleased.

"Go sit in your attendance line!"

Nico sighed heavily, disappointed that he couldn't just keep sleeping all period; he would have to wait until Friday. Because of his last name, di Angelo, he wound up sitting right in the front of the second line, right in front of the teacher. Great.

The teacher passed the length of the gym as he gave his introductory speech. "So, you took this class 'cause you thought it'd be the easy option, did you, cupcakes? Well, think again! This will be hard. You will be expected to work. Work just as hard as any of the football players. Now they're athletes…" the teacher tailed off wistfully and his eyes got misty. Nico suspected that he'd rather be working with them. "Points will be given every day for participation! No dress, no points! So don't forget!"

The teacher seemed to be done talking.

Nico felt a tap on his shoulder. He turned to find a tall, bespectacled boy in a purple shirt.

"What?" he snapped.

"Did he say his name?" the boy asked.

Nico shrugged. "I guess he didn't find it important."

"I hope I'm wrong about this."

The kid frowned and raised his hand.

"Yes! Grace! I had your sister, you know. Now she was an athlete…" The teacher said.

"You're Coach Hedge, right?" The boy asked.

The teacher looked a bit miffed. "Yes, I am Coach Hedge. Now, if there aren't any more questions…" He narrowed his eyes, as if daring anyone to raise their hand. No one did.

"Alright," Coach said. "You first assignment." He looked at his clipboard and frowned for a minute. "Get in small groups and list all the qualities in an ideal dating partner."

The coach turned around, a confused expression on his face. He mumbled something that, to Nico, sounded like "Really? …curriculum…so stupid...baseball…won't help..."

"What the hell," Nico whispered to himself just as annoyed as the coach. Had he accidentally signed up for dating 101? If this was the first day, what was going to come next? He looked at Grace who looked almost as confused as him.

"So…is your name really Grace?" Nico finally asked.

Grace shook his head.

"It's Jason. Grace is my last name."

"Oh." Nico didn't know what else to say. Fortunately, he didn't have to. Before either of them could try any more awkward conversation, they were interrupted by a pretty girl. Her long, brown hair was tied up in a braid. Nico couldn't tell what color her eyes were. They seemed to shift from blue, to brown, to green like a kaleidoscope.

Jason's face instantly lit up. "Hey, Pipes!"

She smiled. "Hello, who's this?"

"I, uh…"

The girl rolled her eyes.

"He's so rude." She extended her hand. "I'm Piper. He's Jason."

Nico reluctantly took her hand and shook it. "Nico."

"So, guys," Jason interrupted. "Coach Hedge is looking at us. At least look like we're doing the assignment."

Nico glanced over at coach Hedge who, so far, was the only person shorter than him.

"Well, I like glasses," Piper started. "And blondes."

Jason blushed.

Nico said nothing.

"I think you're supposed to be talking about personality traits," said a voice behind Nico. He jumped to find another boy behind him. So, roughly three fourths of the male population was in Nico's group now.

"Hey, Jason. Mind if I join in?"

Jason shrugged. "Sure."

The boy moved to the side.

"Hey, Piper. Had a good Christmas?"

She nodded. "Oh my God, yes! My dad took me and Jason skiing. He was terrible at it."

"I was not!"

"It's ok. It was cute," Piper smiled. "Oh, this is Nico."

"Hey," the other boy said. "I'm Will. You a freshman then?"

Nico shook his head. "Sophomore."

"Cool."

"Will tries to get to know everyone every year," Jason said. "He's pissed he missed you until now."

"Not at all," Will said. "Do you know how many kids go here? I couldn't meet everyone if I tried."

"Well, you seem to be doing a pretty good job," Jason said.

Will grinned.

"What can I say? I like people."

"Grace! I can hear your conversation from here!" yelled Coach Hedge from across the gym. "You can socialize in your free time!"

Jason groaned. "Thalia said to avoid him. He's not gonna leave me alone all year. This is your fault, Pipes. You convincing me to take this stupid course-"

"Wait," Nico interrupted. "Your sister's name is Thalia?"

That was funny because Jason didn't look anything like Thalia. Then again, Nico realized he didn't look anything like his sister, Hazel.

Jason nodded. "You know her?"

"Yeah. She graduated last year, right?"

"I didn't know you knew her," Jason said.

Nico suddenly felt three pairs of eyes on him.

"She, uh, was my senior advisor last year," Nico explained. In all honesty, he and Thalia had hit it off pretty well. They'd liked a lot of the same things, and Thalia had been so laid back, she seemed to get along with everyone. They had had a few texted conversations over the summer, but Thalia had started college. Nico wasn't sure if she just had less time, or if she had other friends, but the two didn't talk as much anymore.

"So, um, back to the project…" he offered, trying to get attention off of him.

"Ok, I want someone I can trust," Will offered.

"I want him to have a sense of humor," Piper said.

"I'm cool with Piper," Jason stated.

Piper hit his shoulder. "Do the assignment, dummy!"

Jason frowned.

"Fine, I want her to be nice!"

Piper scoffed.

Jason turned expectantly to Nico.

"This assignment is stupid."

"Yeah, I know," Jason said.

"Ok, we'll skip you," Piper cut in before Jason could say anything else.

And they did. Nico stood there listening to the other three people talk, feeling extremely isolated. He wasn't sure why he didn't want to talk. He wanted friends, but talking to people…it was different. It felt like he had been pushed onto a stage, but he hadn't learned any of the lines.

"Ok, you can't just stand there all period," Will finally said after he, Jason, and Piper had exhausted the list of completely adjectives for an imagined partner. "Just say something."

Nico decided he didn't like Will. He took this class to sleep, dammit!

"Fine," he finally said. "I want someone who loves me."

It was the most generic answer ever.

"Yay!" Piper said. "Now we can all get participation points!"

Nico raised an eyebrow. "Seriously?"

"Hey, an A's an A. I've got dyslexia and ADHD. It's hard for me."

Nico glanced at the clock. "We have five minutes left."

"Ok, go around one more time then," Will said.

"I want her to be a good singer," Jason started.

"I want him to like video games," Piper said.

"I want them to want to be a doctor," Will finished. He turned to Nico.

Nico shrugged. "I, um, I guess I'd like it if they played Magic…the Gathering…it's a card game…" he trailed off awkwardly.

"Ok, get out of here!" Coach Hedge yelled from where he'd been sitting. A magazine covered in different guns was resting next to him on the floor. Nico was sure that kind of thing wasn't allowed in a school. "See all of you cupcakes tomorrow!"

Nico didn't need to be told twice. He often wondered why he was always in a hurry to get to his next class. He never liked it anyway. He changed quickly and left the locker room to find himself face to face with Will.

"Oh, hi again," Nico said. "Are you waiting for someone?"

Will shook his head. "Not really. I kinda wanted to talk to you."

Nico eyed him suspiciously.

"About?"

"Hey, sorry if this sounds weird, but were you that cyborg on Halloween?" Will asked.

Nico faltered.

"You remember that?"

It had been a minor thing in his mind. It was the one day, people didn't find his darkness creepy. In short, Nico's favorite day. Over the years, his costumes had gotten more and more elaborate, until it could have been called an obsession. But he couldn't believe that anyone still remembered his costume, much less him, months later.

"Are you kidding? It was fucking awesome! I knew it was you. How'd you get bones to look real? And was that actually metal?"

"I, uh, used liquid latex and built it up on my face with Kleenex for the bones. And no, I used craft foam and painted it with silver paint. Do you know how heavy metal is?"

"Damn, I understood only about half of that," Will said. "So did you have to, like, follow a pattern?"

"No," Nico answered. "I just kind of made it up."

"And did you, like, sew the whole thing too?"

"Of course not. I can't sew at all. I just bought it at the store."

"Man," Will exhaled. "Still though. That's epic."

Nico found himself smiling too and shook his head.

"I can believe you remember that."

Will stopped at the entrance to the B hallway.

"Ok, I have American studies here," Will said and stopped at a classroom. "See you around."

"Bye."

The di Angelo's large, black dog was a little too excited to see Nico when he got home.

"Hey, girl," Nico said scratching her ears. "Yeah, yeah, I missed you too, Mrs. O'Leary. Get off me." With great difficulty, Nico managed to push her large body off of him and went into the kitchen.

His sister, Hazel, was already there eating an apple and working on her math homework. Because Nico's school was so big they had two busses for every stop. He and Hazel never rode the same one. Nico wasn't really sure why, but he had never complained about having extra space on the ride home.

Nico flopped down next to her. "Can you not?" he asked. "We've been home less than 10 minutes."

Hazel shook her head. "I'm trying to actually get good grades this semester."

Nico snorted.

"You always get good grades, every semester."

"And I need to keep it up."

Nico snorted again, more exaggeratedly.

"No one is going to look at your Freshman year grades."

"Nico, my grades are always important," Hazel said. Nico felt as if he was being lectured. He guessed she was used to his abysmal grades.

Nico sat in silence for a while listening to her pencil scratch on the page.

"I'm going up to my room," he decided.

"Bye! Do your homework!" Hazel called after him.

Nico walked up the stairs, entered his room, and closed his door. "Caution! Zombies inside! Enter at the risk of infection!" read the sign he'd put up a few years ago. He slumped his shoulders, no longer needing to keep his body upright. Any sort of composure he had melted away. He was extremely tired and went to take a nap. There was little else worth doing.

It was eight o'clock before he woke up to his phone vibration.

Dad: I'm working late tonight. Make dinner for your sister.

Nico sighed. His dad was often absent. Nico wasn't really sure what he did, not that he really cared. To the best of his knowledge, they were rich, but his dad was often gone on business trips, leaving only Nico and Hazel in the large house. Occasionally, Jules-Albert, a family friend checked up on them.

Nico wished, as he often did, that Bianca was there. Bianca was Nico's older sister. When they were little, they used to run around the house together for hours when their dad was gone and their mom was either sleeping or out. It usually ended when one of them broke something. It then turned into a game of "let's see how well we can hide [insert item] without mom or dad noticing."

Six years ago, Bianca and Nico's mother, Maria, had left to drive Bianca to her archery lesson. Nico's dad hadn't gotten home yet. Maria had told Nico to watch the house for her. That she'd be gone for fifteen minutes. Lock the door and stay with Mrs. O'Leary.

When she didn't come home in half an hour, Nico had gotten slightly worried. He had watched sheets of rain pelt the sidewalk as thunder cracked overhead. No one had ever come back.

That had been when the phone had rung.

"Mr. di Angelo?" a voice had asked.

"Yes?" Nico asked. That was him.

"Kid, is your dad home?" the voice said.

"He's at work," Nico answered.

"Alright, is there anyone home with you?"

"I can't tell you that!"

"Kid, if your dad gets home tell him to call me back. It's important."

"Ok," Nico had said. He hung up the phone. A few minutes later Jules-Albert had come over. He looked very upset.

"Nico, come one," he said. "We're going to the hospital."

Bianca and Maria had been in a car accident. Maria had lost control of the car and it had skidded out of control in the rain. She had been killed on impact. Bianca had been left in critical condition. She'd been transferred to the local hospital but had died less than an hour after her admittance.

Nico had never seen his dad cry before. He'd hugged Nico so tightly Nico was sure he'd be crushed. His dad didn't let go of him for what felt like ages. Nico had wrapped his arms around his dad as far he could and stood there, crying into his chest. Jules-Albert put a hand on his shoulder.

"Hades—"

Nico's dad looked up at him.

"Yeah, I know," he said.

The funeral had been the following week. Bianca was buried in her white party dress. Nico had crept up to the coffin and looked down at her face. It was almost like she could have been sleeping, but she lay far too still. As she was lowered into the ground and buried, Nico felt a part of himself stuck down with her, covered in the dirt, never to rise again. He felt like he'd never be whole again.

Life had been very hard for both Nico and his dad the next couple years. Nico had spent weeks cursing life for being so unfair. It took years but, eventually, very gradually, Nico had begun to feel ever so slightly better. He wasn't over it by any means, but he's stopped feeling absolutely terrible every day.

Over the years, Nico's memories had begun to grow fuzzy around the edges. He started to forget more and more little moments. He clung on as hard to what he could, but he remembered very little about his mother now. Bianca stood out more clearly in his mind, but still most of what he had left of her was the last few years of her life. Nico knew his father remembered more. He also knew he was never going to ask him about it. His dad hated talking about it.

Two years ago, Hades had come into Nico's room.

"How do you feel about getting a new sibling?"

Nico frowned. "I don't want a replacement."

Hades shook his head.

"No, not a replacement. A new sibling."

Nico shrugged.

"I don't know."

"I've been thinking of adopting," Hades said.

"And if I say no, you'll forget about it?" Nico asked.

"No. I do want your input though."

Nico shrugged again. He had felt empty inside.

"I don't care."

Several months later Nico had met Hazel. A few more months after that, it was official and Hazel moved in. Nico tried to think of her as a separate person, but it was easy to compare her to the sister he'd lost. Hazel looked and acted nothing like Bianca, but Nico still occasionally slipped up and called her the wrong name.

Despite that Nico had grown to really love Hazel. She was always so upbeat about life and seemed so innocent. She had cute, little mannerisms that made Nico think she was from a far older time than the 2000s. But then she pulled out her smartphone and ruined the image.

In an effort to take his mind off the past, Nico went over the events of the day.

He took his phone and scrolled through his contacts.

Nico: I met your brother today.

It took a few seconds before he got a reply.

Thalia: Heeeeyyy

Thalia: Yep. That's Jason

Nico: Why didn't you ever tell me?

Thalia: :/ I must have

Thalia: At some point

Thalia: So that means ur back then

Nico: Yes. Back and miserable.

Thalia: Awww :(

Thalia: At least try to make some friends

Nico thought back to the day. Of how Will had talked to him about his Halloween costume, and how it had seemed to make the walk down the hall so much shorter.

Nico: I did talk to people today

Thalia: … it's a start I guess

Nico: How is college?

Thalia: Nah. That's boring

Thalia: But guess what is actually exciting?

Nico: You finally learned how to drive.

Thalia: I did! But its not that

Thalia: I'm starting a band

Nico: oh no

Thalia: Its so great :D

Thalia: I will take u to a show once we get some gigs

The news wasn't nearly as interesting as Thalia seemed to think it was. Nico remembered every time Thalia had ever put any music on, it had always been loud, almost indistinguishable from noise. He really wasn't looking forward to hearing more of it.

Nico listened to Thalia talk about her new band for a few more minutes before saying he had too much homework to keep talking.

Upon putting his phone down, Nico realized he'd left his backpack downstairs. It was too much work to retrieve. Besides, it wasn't like he understood how to do most of his homework anyway. Nico grabbed his "at home sketchbook" and drew a few, not very good, pictures in it before deciding he wasn't in a creative mood and throwing it back down on this floor in frustration.

Unsure what to do with the rest of his day, Nico went back to bed. It wasn't a very interesting or fulfilling life, Nico mused as he stared at the ceiling, but he had no idea how to make it any better.