Disclaimer: I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh. But I do own the word psychosia. I made it up. Several seasons ago.
A/N: I want to apologize in advance for this. I just graduated with no job and 3 months before college. The very first thing I must do is release my psychosia on the masses. So this story should serve as an example of the reason fangirls should not be left alone with a computer when they have zero schoolwork. Enjoy this psychotic use of my time!
Reader's Note: Yami Marik = Melvin (because 'Mariku' is too much like 'Marik' and also I am psychotic)
It was a day of no consequence, so I decided to write about it.
"Who said that?" Marik asked, searching the skies for the answer. "Oh, frick! Is it those Big 5 losers again? We aren't even a part of their subplot."
"No, Marik. I think that was the narrator," Bakura explained, putting aside his book since he knew he would be expected to do something soon.
"Since when do we have a narrator?" Marik asked.
"Since Bob the Flying Monkey decided to write you," the narrator explain, munching noisily on a carrot.
"I thought narrators didn't talk to the characters," Marik said.
"Normal narrators don't. But I'm lonely, and my alter ego usually speaks in her fanfics, so I thought I'd give it a try."
"Speaking of alter egos," Melvin began as he walked on scene.
"What the EFF is going on? How do you have your own body when I'm still in control of mine?" Marik exclaimed.
The narrator shrugged, "I don't normally believe in this set-up, but as I said, I'm lonely. The more the merrier, right? Besides, if other fangirls can do it, why shouldn't I?"
"Perhaps because you are actually a good writer," Ryou said, coming up bedside Melvin.
"Don't feed her ego, Ryou," Bakura warned, "You'll be the first to go."
"No, I don't think I'm going to kill anyone this time," the narrator said, "I only kill people when I'm happy. Right now I'm bored, so you should all live. Also, I actually like you people. What good would killing you do? But I might kill other characters. Just not you four."
"That's very comforting," Bakura huffed, "I suppose you have a plot for us."
"Not yet, but we'll get there. Eventually. I hope. Right now, I just want to get the preliminary jazz out of the way. Introduce everything so we don't waste time in later chapters with me explaining stuff to you."
"Oh great. There are multiple chapters," Bakura sighed.
"Three months to kill before I abandon fanfiction for a while. College crap and all. What do you want to do first?"
"We get an opinion?" Marik asked.
"As I said, I'm not great today. My creativity is numbed as of tonight, but I'm sure I'll be right as a square come Monday. So let's figure out something amusing or at the very least sexy. Readers like that junk, right?"
"I vote against the sexy," Ryou said timidly.
"What's the matter, little Ryou?" Melvin teased, "You afraid you'll do someone you like?"
"Mummy," Ryou cried.
"Melvin, quit," Bakura sighed, "For the last time, just because Marik and I are an item doesn't mean you and Ryou should be, too."
"Yeah!" Marik said, then repented, "Wait, what? I told you, I'm not gay!"
"You are in this fanfic," the narrator declared.
"But I don't want to be gay!" Marik protested.
"I don't either," Ryou agreed.
"Well, I don't want to remain human for the rest of my life, but we all have to do things we don't want to," the narrator reasoned.
"Not human? What else would you be?" Marik asked.
"Hmm, let's see. My name is Bob the Flying Monkey, so I probably want to be a polar bear. That seems logical, right?"
"This fanfic is going downhill really fast," Bakura said.
"Yeah, I noticed. Let's pick it up tomorrow, same spot. Maybe I'll have my awesomeness back by then. Goodnight, boys."
"Goodnight, evil overlord."
A/N: So yes, the first chapter is the crummiest, but it's just a minor error I can fix with a good night's sleep. Tomorrow I shall try again, and it will be an improvement. Promise. It couldn't get much worse.