October 29th: the scariest day of my life. After getting checked into the hospital on the previous night, it became uneventful. I had tons of doctors in my room all morning who ran a bunch of tests and gave me medication to help with the pain. Although my brain was a bit foggy, I can remember one big thing. Grace was there with me the whole time, being the biggest supporter and the best sister figure that I ever could've asked for.

It didn't even take a day before I met baby Meylor. So much pain, so much fear. It felt like it took so long, but I know that it was only a few minutes. What a terrifying moment, the doctors taking her away without letting me know if she's alright. Grace is right beside me to assure me that she was taken straight to the NICU since she was born early. Just a few months ago, I wanted nothing to do with her, but she's the only true part of Pete I have left and I'm all she has. As I start to recover, all that I want to do is see her, because that's the only way I can know if she's ok. Grace eventually leaves to go back home to her family, and I'm alone. I finally fall asleep and dream about what my daughter looks like and how happy she will be once I bring Michaela and Zeke back together and solve this time loop so she can have a future. After a few hours, I'm finally allowed to go see her. She's so tiny, much smaller than babies I usually saw from angels' headquarters. I stare at the baby girl in front of me. She's so fragile, and in that moment, all I want to do is wrap her up and shield her from the world. The doctor that I assume helps to take care of her walks up to me.

"Is she yours?"

I nod.

"What a beautiful baby girl. Congratulations."

"Thank you. She's a fighter already, just like her dad." The doctor looks at me, waiting for more information. I respond, "Her father isn't on this Earth anymore. He always, from the very beginning, was willing to fight and sacrifice anything for us. He passed a few weeks ago because we were trying to save up for her and he didn't want to dip into our savings for her just so he could go to the hospital." I start to tear up just thinking about Pete in so much pain. The doctor changes the subject.

"Do you have a name picked out for her?"

"No. My boyfriend and I brought up a few ideas but I haven't even begun to think about names since he died. I thought I had more time." The doctor gives me a sympathetic look, then she kneels next to the wheelchair I'm sat in.

"Well, for a start, maybe look at names that mean something significant to you, him, or maybe something that you hope that she will become."

"Thank you."

I am wheeled back to my room, and pull out my phone to Google names for baby Meylor. For a while, I am ready to name her Baylor after Pete's last name, but then Grace comes back to visit me and points out a beautiful name. The meaning of the name Payden is: 'home of the warrior' or 'from the fighter's farm'. She certainly is a fighter. I ponder on the name for a bit more, but I need to fill out her birth certificate before I am discharged.

I wait until the last minute, but I eventually fill out the certificate.

Baby Meylor's name is Peyden Mavis Dawn Meyer. I changed the 'a' in Payden to an 'e' to honor her father, Pete, and picked the names Mavis and Dawn as her middle names because Mavis was Pete's favorite and Dawn represents us watching the sun rise every morning since our first date. What I would give to do it just one more time…

Going home without Peyden feels odd, like a part of me is missing. I spend most of my time at home resting or watching movies with Olive and Cal, but Grace and I go to the hospital every day to see her. One day, I'm finally able to hold her. It's a feeling that is indescribable. I have never held a baby until now, and it feels like one wrong move will shatter her. After a few minutes of just sitting there holding my daughter, she starts to cry. I have heard about what people do to calm babies, so I decide to lightly rock her back and forth and lightly sing Adele's "Sweetest Devotion" to her. It was sang to her while I was tearing up and most definitely off key, but she stops crying and falls asleep in my arms. Grace was watching Peyden and I from afar, and after I reluctantly gave her back to the doctors, she came over to me.

"Angelina, that seriously may have been the sweetest thing I've ever seen."

"I can't wait to do that more often."

"Don't worry, it'll happen before you know it. Olive and Cal were born early too, so I know that it's hard to leave the hospital without Peyden, but she's getting stronger every day."

In the end, Grace was right. Just a few weeks after Peyden was born, she was allowed to come home.

"Angelina, do you have an outfit to bring her home in?"

Ben is just about to drive me to the hospital to get Peyden, and I know exactly what dress to bring for her. I run back down to my room, go to her drawers, and grab the purple sun dress that Pete insisted we buy for her. After we go to the hospital and put her in the dress, I realize that Pete was so right. The dress was perfect on her. I also put a white headband with a purple bow on her head, and I'm finally able to take her home.

"Hey, Eyden!" Grace says extatically as I walk in the car seat with baby Peyden in it. Eyden has been the Stones' choice of nickname for her, although I usually prefer to call her Pey. When Olive and Cal woke up from their nap, they came over to me and Peyden on the couch and Ben and Grace started talking to them.

"Olly, Cal, this is baby Peyden. Can you say, 'Hi, Eyden'?"

Olive speaks up, "Hi, Eden."

No amount of correction would dissuade them. From that moment on, everyone calls her Eden. It takes a bit of getting used to, but having Eden around becomes our new normal.

One night, Ben and Grace offered to hang out with baby Eden while I take a shower. I take my time showering and getting ready for bed, but when I'm done, I see them holding her while sitting on the couch. They are talking and singing to her, and she looks happy in Grace's arms. I know that I must resume my position once the time loop is solved, and Eden can't come with me. When I first found out that I was having a baby, I planned that Pete would take care of her and raise her, but now he's gone. Ben and Grace love her, and she loves them too. Grace was there when she was born, and their house and income has the room for her.

I know that the right decision is to give Eden up to them, a happy, stable couple with a great house, family, and capacity for love after losing a baby girl of their own. Eden deserves all that and so much more. I take Eden back and bring her downstairs to flip through Pete's photo album. Except, there are new photos. Grace has added a bunch of new photos of me in the hospital, her in the NICU, me holding her for the first time, and a bunch more. I start to cry. I am so happy that there is a loving family for her when I can't be here anymore, but until then, I can't bear to give her up. More than anything, I wish that her father could be here or that we could just be an official part of the Stone family, but she doesn't need to have their last name for Mick and I to be her aunts, for Olive, Cal, and Bonnie to be her siblings, and for Ben and Grace to be her parents. They can be her chosen family, just as they are mine, and she can choose the family who will be able to love her much more than I can and I will be her fun 'auntie Lili'. Peyden deserves the world, and I'm hoping that Ben and Grace can give her all that and so much more.

That next morning, before the sun comes up, I call a cab, grab Eden's diaper bag, and take her to the hill that Pete and I always went to. The short walk to the top was a bit different than it used to be, but it didn't feel lonely. How could it feel lonely if Peyden was with me? I lay the small blanket I brought with me on the ground, and we sit just in time to watch the sun peak over the horizon. I start talking to her.

"Hey, Pey. This is something your daddy and I used to do every morning. He loved you so much, baby girl. I know that this world is a scary place, but I'm gonna fix it for you so Grace can be your mama. I promise to protect you for as long as I can, and I promise that we will do this again every week."

I haven't watched the sunrise since Pete's death. It used to be too much for me, but I have a new purpose and a new reason to be strong.

"I love you so much, baby-who-will-one-day-become Eden Stone. I am a guardian angel to the world, but you are mine here on Earth. You saved my life, Eden, and I promise to save yours."

The sun casts a lavender hue along the clouds, the same color of Eden's dress. Lavender: the color of devotion and love. It is very fitting for a moment like this, remembering Pete, and looking forward to Eden's future.