If I am being completely honest, the rest of the night was a blur, both from stress and alcohol. The night, as relayed to me by Dave, was told the morning after as I awoke groggily on my couch. After helping me up from the bathroom floor, he hastily laid me down to rest and then put my smurfs to bed. The hour was late and they were exhausted, so they happily went with him. He made sure that the stove and any electricity was off before leaving for the night. Dave had awoken the next morning and planned to come over immediately to check up on me. Not soon after he arrived, did I awake. As we sat down at the table in the wee hours of the early morning, I pulled out some paper and the two of us began to work out a plan.
With circumstances as dire as they were, I had no choice but to take a mental inventory. Corporate downsizing, that was the reason for all this mess. I had some savings, but I lived paycheck to paycheck for most of my life. My own lifestyle was pretty sparse, with only real expense in the last year being my smurfs. The thought hurt, but I knew it was the truth. It had taken me a while to accept that my little cuties had been such a costly endeavor yet I was still determined to take care of them. I couldn't bear them to end up in someone else's hands. They were so attached to me now; I don't think their little hearts could take being given to a new owner. With my heart now resolute, I knew I needed to clean up and start job hunting.
Dave put the word out to his network of friends and within a couple days I had received both job offers and some supplies to get through the time being. Though I was happy for the groceries, I was unable to accept many of the jobs. They were far away and the price of gas would make most of the income negligible. I loved the simplicity of my office job, but with it gone and most prospects in my city filled, I decided to go with something in the service industry. After some cursory looking, I ended up flipping a coin between food and retail. However, after a couple coin flips, I realized that I might be limiting myself so it would be instead better to put out as many as I could and see what stuck. After all, I did not really have much of a choice at this point. Who knows, maybe this could be rewarding and lead to some new experiences or maybe even friends?
Being on a tight budget was rough but I managed to make my food and money last as long as I could. I am honest when I say I missed the big breakfasts I used to share between my smurfs and I. Instead, I ate some small amount of oatmeal with a black coffee while my darlings had their morning smurfberry juice. I did my best to hide my inner turmoil from them, smiling when I was sad and cuddling with them when I felt like crying but I knew they could tell something was wrong. There was a time when Daisy came up to me and she laid down upon my sternum and looked up at me while she purred. She tucked her arms and legs in and kneaded her little hands into the fabric of my shirt. I had to hold back a tear as I held my head back and scratched her little head with my index finger. I had to be strong, not just for myself but for them. Each night, as I laid them down one by one next to each other, I kissed their foreheads and told them how grateful I was to have them. Those sweet little innocent souls, unaffected by the world and its troubles, merely soaked up the love I gave them and then drifted off to sleep in each other's arms. What I would give to have them stay peaceful like this forever more.
After a couple weeks, I heard back from some jobs. Granted, I was unused to being a more public type of position like the ones I applied towards, however I was desperate and had no real choice. I weighed my options and decided to work at a nearby postal store. I already had the required computer skills they asked for but would have to work at my customer service skills. Still, no matter how uncomfortable I felt, I knew I had a responsibility. I set the date to come in for an interview and made sure that I had some clothing cleaned beforehand. I told Dave the good news and he congratulated me over the phone. Despite our bromance starting off a shared interest in smurfs, we really had become quite close. Still, he had helped me when I needed him the most and for that I owed him.
With days to go, all I needed to do was make sure everything went perfect for my interview. The household was healthy now but it was only a matter of time before a random medical bill or something worse took out when I had left to take care of us. I eagerly spent the last couple days being extra careful and watching my smurf babies more than ever before. Not that they minded the attention after all, Leo would probably be fine if I kept him in a sling on my chest for the rest of his life. The night before, I left everything I would need for the next day on the counter and had a nice meal with the family. I had some spare meat that I had put away and had saved all this time. This was served with some hand cut fries while I made a salad for my smurfs. We ate happily and before long it was time for all of us to go to bed. I performed their nightly routine and laid down beside their cage as they fell asleep. They lay in their bundle of blankets, as the picture of innocence. Leo and Daisy cuddled together while their big brother Gus and big sister Lucy surrounded them in a protective huddle. I watched them sleep for a minute before I left them to my room.
I sat down at my bedside and turned on the light before slumping back, hands over my eyes. After several minutes I pulled myself up and opened up the bedside table. From inside, I pulled out a bottle of whiskey and took a couple sips before returning it. I then got undressed and tried my best to fall asleep. I was trying my best but it was hard. I didn't want to worry anyone, let alone have my issues affect the ones I love most but it was getting more difficult as the days went on. I needed this interview to go well but I knew that I was a hard pill to swallow. Still, despite my imperfections, I knew that I had no choice but to continue forward, regardless of whatever happened. It wasn't confidence nor was its courage, heaven knows that if it were me alone, I would probably be content to starve alone. Yet my need to carry on for my family was what was driving me now. As the sleep took hold of me, I let the dark wash over my body and take me from my troubles.