At the edges of the town of Howardsville, a small town that rests near misty pine forests and three snowy mountains, is a house belonging to 20 year-old Mark Sulenberg. In it are two 14 year old kids, one is a joyous chubby orange-haired girl named Hallie Johnson and a cynical and mean-spirited boy named Kamahele Bickerton.
Kama and Hallie don't do much around the house, Hallie usually watches cartoons, hang out with her nerdy older sister, Annie and try to bring joy to her friends, while Kama usually just researches conspiracy theories and paranormal stuff, reading horror novels, and mostly bullying Hallie and Mark in any way he can. Hallie always tries to tell Kama about the importance of making friends and being nice to them, because she always watches that cheesy show "My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic". Kama has always had a disliking for that show, not because it's girly, but because of its general message. Kama has always hated the message of "friendship good" or "friendship conquers all", he thought "the power of friendship" was a bunch of bullcrap, even to go as far as saying that it's just a "concept invented by lazy parents just so they can get their annoying kids to leave them alone". Hallie always tells Kama that him saying those things is just a way of him hiding his loneliness and the fact that he feels like doesn't have any friends despite him and Hallie being best friends, but Kama just brushed it off as Hallie watching to much of that show. Kama was a complete asshole of a child and he knew it, he hated every human on earth and loved nothing more than to piss off every ethnicity of people imaginable, he barely showed any compassion for his friends and just aims to help himself so often that it's a wonder Hallie still wants to be friends with him, she says that deep down he really does care for his friends but that's yet to be seen by others.
One day, Kama sees Hallie watching the show as always, usually he would just ignore it but this time something piques his interest. The creatures being shown weren't just ponies, there were griffins, hippogriffs, dragons, some weird bug horses and yaks. Kama always loved studying all sorts of mythologies, from religions to folklore and fairy tales, so this was something he wanted to see.
"The creatures in the show aren't just ponies?" Kama asks Hallie standing behind the couch.
"Oh no, there are all sorts of creatures. Dragons, griffins, changelings…I like the progress those three species go through from being mean and evil to accepting friendship and sharing friendship with the ponies and other species." Hallie explained happily.
"Wait, they didn't accept friendship before?"
"Yeah! Actually it was only the changelings that were evil, but that was only because they were under the rule of Queen Chrysalis."
"OK, I'm interested. What's the deal with these creatures? I'm not into the whole MLP lore so I have absolutely no idea." Kama says as he sits down on the couch next to Hallie.
Hallie puts on the wide grin that's always irritated Kama, he can tell she's been waiting for this day to finally come, he always babbles about the things he's obsessed with such as the lore of Harry Potter, Star Wars and the Cthulhu Mythos, and now she finally gets the chance to do the same to him. Hallie starts with explaining a bit of the main storyline of the show, talked a bit about one of her favorite characters: Spike the dragon and some of the other dragons, then explained the history of the griffins, then about the bug horses that were apparently called changelings before and after the "good" bug horse, Thorax replaced the "evil" bug horse, Chrysalis all the way to how all the species befriended the ponies and started spreading friendship to other species. Kama actually managed to listen to the whole thing without zoning out which surprised even him since he wasn't a very good listener. Hallie just sat there smiling and staring at him waiting for a response, the gears in Kama's head turned as he tries to process everything he just heard then after a few seconds he finally came up with a response.
"So basically from what you just told me, ponies are just like white people. They keep trying to fuck up cultures other than their own." Kama says in mix between a serious and mocking tone.
Hallie's grin fades. "What? No, they try to improve the lifestyle of every species by sharing their teachings." She answers in a shocked tone.
"Yeah, that's what the European colonizers said. Well the lifestyle did improve, but still." Kama loved making fun of every group of people, one of the ones he occasionally are white people and Americans. He loved offending people, and he thrives on making offensive jokes.
"That's not true! You're just being prejudistic as always, Kama!" Hallie yells in an angry yet desperate tone.
"C'mon, think about it Hallie. The ponies rule all of Equestria, yet other kingdoms of other species exist within the kingdom. Kind of similar to natives living in a European colonized land, doesn't it?" Kama answers in a cocky tone.
Hallie could put up with Kama's extremely dickish behavior, but she still gets annoyed whenever Kama starts bringing stuff like this up. "Nonsense! You're just looking for an excuse to make more offensive jokes!"
"It's not nonsense! There's a lot of evidence, one of them are the changelings."
"The changelings?"
"Yes, the changelings. They were once a fearsome species feared that sought to take over everything, but once the ponies got thrown into the mix a giant explosion happened which turned them into a bunch of colorful cute-obsessed hippies. Just look at Japan, it's the exact same thing!"
"No, Kama!" Hallie shouted.
"Spike: Is an innocent child who at the beginning was used for nothing more than a test for little Twinkle Sprinkle, then became an "adopted younger brother" that was treated like a servant for Twinkle, exactly like…uh I'll let you figure that out for yourself."
Hallie knew the answer, but didn't want to think about it.
"The ponies were the only ones able to build trains and built a railway across the land, exactly like the British when they colonised India." Kama explains starting to grin.
"Look at the villains: A lot of them are colored black, exactly what whites are afraid of. One of their enemies was a communist who was eventually told to accept their views, American 101!"
Hallie didn't know how much more of this she could take.
"The terrible trio, who's the racist one out of the three of them? Exactly, the pony."
"Uuurgghh…" Hallie groans.
"Look at Tirek, once a centaur of extremely high position of power, but after a dabble with ponies he was reduced to a starving walking skeleton in desperation for food but always gets it taken away…because he's African!"
"KAMA!" Hallie yells, outraged by what she just heard.
"What? I'm not wrong! Why, are you offended? Because if you are there's this painkilling cream you can put in your ass in case it hurts." Kama blurts out with the same grin he's been putting on.
"No, you're completely wrong! Just because it's similar to our history doesn't mean it's-"
"Wait! I'm not finished. Have you ever wondered why the griffins have the worst living condition?"
"Well it's like I told you, the lost treasure-"
"The griffins are generally disliked because of their arrogance, they have a history where they used to be rich and powerful with a mighty kingdom but now they're in a much lower position, and they're also said to be greedy as hell. Don't you see? The griffins are Jewish!"
"Stop it, Kama !" she stats to get irritated by this rant.
"See, Hallie? Ponies are racist white people." Kama says smugly.
"The ponies are not racist white people, Kama! They actually care a lot about other species. They even save the world and make it a better place by reforming their enemies and befriending them. Well, except for the four unreformed villains who were either banished to Tartarus, killed, or turned to stone but still!"
Listening to this, Kama tries to hold back laughter after a realization just popped in his head but fails.
"What's so funny?" Hallie asks, genuinely curious.
"C'mon, Hallie. "Reform", "befriending", " getting their rivals to join them", Tartarus or death for those who refused? Doesn't that sound a little bit suspicious to you?" Kama asks with a smile that just tells you something bad is gonna happen.
"Huh?"
"You know, something that happened around less than a century ago, something that people don't really like to talk about. Remember how I said the griffins have the worst living condition because they're Jewish? The fact that the ponies always try to spread their mindset to all the lands around them? And didn't you say something about how the enemies who refused to change were either put into a special prison or killed?" Kama asks in a tone that makes Hallie uncomfortable.
"What are you talking abou—Oh, no. Kama, don't…" Hallie says in a horrified tone knowing exactly what Kama was about to say.
"Did you figure it out?" Kama grins wider now.
"Don't say it, Kama." Hallie says in a warning tone.
"That's right…" his eyes widening with joy.
"Don't say it!"
"The ponies are Nazis!"
A loud explosion with a violet glow came from the front door, rubble and splinters flew everywhere.
"What the hell?!" Kama yelled.
Out of the smoke and dust, a small strangely shaped lavender colored horse with a single horn and a pair of wings wearing a gold necklace and gold shoes with a crown on its head. It took a few seconds, but Kama finally recognized who it was.
"Oh, shit! It's Bella Swan!" Kama says forcing in a joke into his scream.
"Princess Twilight?!" Hallie yelled in disbelief.
"Kamahele Bickerton, you have committed a hate speech against the good ponies of Equestria." Twinkly Horse said with a voice of authority.
"Good ponies?! HA! You mean the epileptic coloured homosexuals that spread a bullshit message to everyone and ruin the culture of every other species? Yeah, right!" Kama said in the arrogant tone he's known for using.
Twilight tries to give him one of her sappy speeches. "Kama, I know you're not fond of making friends. But if you just give friendship a chance, you might see that it's-"
"Blardy blardy blar blar! Who gives a shit, you geeky purple popsicle?!"
"If you refuse to work together, Kama. Things could end badly for both of us." Twilight says in a stern tone.
"You ain't gonna do shiiiit." Kama does a little dance just to taunt her.
"Very well then. Girls!"
Behind Twilight, five more horses appeared which Kama recognized from the show. He actually starts to feel scared now. The ponies all levitate off the ground in a bright sphere of energy, their eyes start to glow in a bright white light.
Kama gets on his knees and starts pleading. "Wait, please don't kill me with your gay lasers! It's more fun when you think both genders are sexy! Have mercy!"
A rainbow shoots out of the sphere of energy to the air and directs itself to Kama's direction. He closes his eyes as the rainbow nears him, when suddenly he has a bright idea. Kama jumps a few feet away from where he was standing, and the rainbow landed right beside him.
"Oh, well that was easy. Don't know why nobody did that before, maybe bad cartoons just need the villains to be stupid in order for the heroes to—" The rainbow moved to where Kama was standing and rained down on him, it felt like the Niagara Falls crashing down on his body. Before long, it stopped. Strangely enough, Kama didn't feel anything different at all, he slowly opened his eyes to see the ponies and Hallie gasping and staring at him with wide eyes. He was completely unscathed, not a single scratch on him. Kama began to laugh like a madman.
"The Magic of Friendship…failed?!" the one with the gay pride flag hair said.
"But…how can that be?!" Twilight said horrified.
Kama laughed maniacally louder this time, before finally stopping to say something. "Of course it didn't work! Because unlike the cheap-ass villains in your show, I am a force truly evil!" the middle-schooler said in the way one would only hear from a comic book supervillain.
"Now it's my turn." Kama whispered loudly.
Kama pulled out a rocket launcher out of nowhere and aimed it at the ponies levitating mid-air.
"FUCK YOU, TWINKLE SPRINKLE!" Kama yells with a grin as wide as the Joker. He fires the rocket launcher at the screaming ponies, and as soon as the rocket reaches them a huge explosion happens. Bits and pieces of pony flesh and blood fall everywhere.
"Wow, that actually worked?" Kama says, not actually expecting the rocket launcher to actually kill the ponies considering that in the season 9 premiere he saw with Hallie, the magical blast from the villain didn't penetrate the sphere.
There was only one pony not killed by the explosion, and that was the yellow hippie bitch he recognized as Fluttershy, Kama stands menacingly over the injured pegasus.
"Kama, please. You wouldn't hurt an injured pony, would you?" Fluttershy pleaded with a smile.
"Of course I won't." Kama smiles warmly as he extends his arm to help Fluttershy.
"Oh, thank you."
"Just kidding!" Kama pulls a shotgun out of nowhere and shoots the yellow pegasus's head off. Kama laughs maniacally as Hallie watches In horror of what her best friend has just done, after that Kama strikes a heroic pose.
"Well, the world has been rid from the plague of friendship. Remember readers reading this fanfic: If you continue to accept the teachings of My Little Pony, you're gonna end up just like these dead lesbian horses splattered on the ground. Hope the Great Kama has taught you a valuable lesson." Kama explains to nothing entirely. Another voice comes in which was obviously of the owner of the house, Mark Sulenberg.
"KAMA! WHAT THE FUCK HAVE YOU DONE TO MY HOUSE?!"
"Oops! Well see you next time!"