very brief explanation of the premise for this: i'm taking a look at the aftermath of key events within the series and how they affect certain cats. so far, i'm planning to do this with brambleclaw, ravenpaw and whitestorm. please feel free to suggest more!
The first few nights of their journey, Crowpaw's dreams are normal.
They usually go the same way: him, alone on the moorland, hunting for rabbits. Racing along, the wind in his fur. Normal, and peaceful, and uninterrupted by certain Riverclan warriors.
After a few nights, he's joined with his fellow travelling cats. He figures it's because he's actually started talking to some of them, even if it's just to exchange insults. The dreams are still similar, but there are other cats with him. Brambleclaw staring dumbly at an escaping rabbit. Squirrelpaw laughing at him. Stormfur and Feathertail hunting quietly, talking to each other. Tawnypelt watching on.
This isn't so bad. He can just tune them out, focus on the territory. However, as they get further and further away from the clans, the moorland gets blurry. He can scent the rabbits less and less, and he can't quite smell the heather. The breeze in his fur seems calmer, until eventually it's not there. He can't really see the moor anymore, just his travelling companions. It's like he's watching his dream through a clouded puddle - everything is there, but not quite. The moor seems fairly normal, just not all the way there.
For once, Crowpaw doesn't want to be so alone. He wants to race back to the camp, see if Tallstar is still there, lounging in his den. He wants to make sure Barkface is still sorting the herbs in that stuffy den. Most of all, he wants to ensure that Ashfoot is safe, far away from this Starclan prophesied danger.
He doesn't get that. He just has these weird, fuzzy, in-between dreams. Nothing but the whistling of the wind in the long moorland grass, and half-heard conversations between his fellow travellers.
It takes a few more nights for his fellow journey cats to fade out. All but one. In every dream he has, from twolegplace to the mountains, Feathertail is there. At first, she's far away. He sees her as he races by after a rabbit, and can do nothing but yowl out a greeting. He doesn't know why he does it. It's not like Feathertail can hear him, she's little more than a figment of his imagination. An echo of the real Feathertail.
As the days drag on, every night Feathertail grows closer and closer to him in his dreams. And in real life, he supposes. He starts sharing tongues with her. They go hunting together in real life, and that night they do the same in his dreams. She grows closer in his dreams, as well. Her features are clearer. Her fur is as glossy as it is in real life, shining silver. He runs alongside her each night, instead of past her.
During the day, he pads alongside her. When they reach the sundrown place, he stares at her with wonderment in his blue eyes, and realises that he loves her. He doesn't know how it took him so long to realise, and he knows immediately it's foolish. He's a Windclan apprentice, and she's a Riverclan warrior. But… things seem different on this journey. Surely the clans could understand that?
In the mountains, on the night before the plan to kill Sharptooth commences, he doesn't dream of Feathertail. He's with her, curled up besides her in one of the tribe's nests, but he doesn't see her in his dreams. He's in Riverclan territory, at nighttime, looking at the stars in the sky. He sees three stars, alongside each other, and feels for some reason like he should know what they mean. He doesn't work it out, and wakes up, feeling lonely. Lonely for some unknown reason, despite the fact Feathertail was alongside him.
Some time later, he thinks grimly that his dream was preparing him for his future. Because Feathertail isn't alongside him that next night, or any night after that.
He still sees her in his dreams, but it's not the peaceful wander through the moors he's used to. Instead, he sees Feathertail's death in slow motion. Her jump from the cliff. Sharptooth falling to the ground. And her, locking eyes with him.
When he asks for his name to reflect Feathertail, he knows that his clan judges him. He doesn't care. It's more than a symbol of love - it shows respect. Admiration. Feathertail gave her life to save the tribe, who in turn saved the clans when they came through the mountains. It's nothing less than what she deserves. He'll wear her name like a badge of honour.
When they arrive in the new territories, the dreams quiet down. In a sick way, Crowfeather feels guilty. As heartbreaking as it is, to see her last moments again and again and not be able to stop it, it feels like he's abandoning her.
He isn't. He's promised himself that he'll never stop loving her. He murmured those exact words to her grave besides the waterfall.
So when a Thunderclan medicine cat apprentice starts showing up in his dreams, he feels like he's betrayed Feathertail. Leafpaw's sudden presence on that moorland feels like he's casted away everything him and Feathertail ever built up. He doesn't let himself feel, he doesn't let himself grow truly attached to the she-cat until he saves her during Mudclaw's rebellion.
After that, the newly named Leafpool's face is the one he has to say goodbye to every night. She's the cat who saved the tribes. She's replaced Feathertail.
Crowfeather realises that he's done it again. He's let himself care too much, and there's no going back now. When they run away together, he tells himself that he's going to do it properly this time. This time, it will not end in heartbreak. This time, it will not end with the life draining out of his love's eyes.
He was wrong on one count. It did end in heartbreak. For both him and Leafpool. For Leafpool, when she returned to Thunderclan to find her mentor dead. For him, when he realised he could never see her again.
From then on, Feathertail and Leafpool are both in his dreams. The one he lost, and the one who got away. They watch over him, as he runs through the moorland. He lunges for both of them, and they disappear into dust. Just out of reach.
Crowfeather doesn't dream about Nightcloud. He supposes it's safer that way.
i haven't written about canon characters in ages but i hope i did crowfeather justice.
(also if the timeline is off i am sorry.)