"Everytime I find a new light."

-Hotel Books

Jimin

Yoongi shoved past me and ran from the house leaving me hurt and confused. What did I do wrong? I thought he liked me.

I went to Tae and helped him off the floor and started leading him to the kitchen for some ice.

"What just happened?" I asked as I wiped the tears from my face.

"Well, your dick of a crush just punched me. So, there's that." Tae was practically spitting venom.

"I can't believe he would do that." I mumbled quietly.

"Oh yeah? Well, believe it, Jimin. Did I or did I not tell you the boy can't be trusted? What did ALL of us say? Huh?" I shrunk a bit at his words and harsh tone while tears started to fall once again.

"I'm sorry." I whispered through my tears. "I really thought it would be okay."

Tae stopped short in the middle of the living room and grabbed my shoulders with a deep sigh. "No, Jimin. I'm sorry. I shouldn't be yelling at you. You're obviously upset, and I know you always just want to see the best in people. I'm just upset and that punch hurt a lot." He bent down a bit to catch my eye and gave me a small smile. "I love you, Chim. It's gonna be okay."

I threw my arms around him and burst into tears on his shoulder. He held me tight and patted my head gently.

We were interrupted by someone nearby clearing their throat. "Umm..Sorry, but you're Jimin right?" I looked up to see a tall brunette guy standing next to us looking confused and concerned.

I sniffed and nodded unsure of what was happening?

"Uh, did something happen with Yoongi just now?" He furrowed his eyebrows and leaned in a bit closer.

"Why the hell does that have anything to do with you?" Tae answered for me. He was a bit harsher than I would have been, but it was pretty close to what I was thinking.

"Oh, uh...I'm Namjoon. Yoongi is my best friend. I just saw him run out but he isn't answering my calls or my texts about what happened...And with you over here crying...I thought you might know."

Now that he mentioned it, I realized he looked familiar. Between the alcohol and the tears and the dim lights, it was hard to tell before, but I usually saw him sitting next to Yoongi at lunch. Usually his back was to me, but I could tell it was him.

"Well, let's see. Your friend punched me, and he made Jimin cry. So, yeah...I'm gonna go with something happened with Yoongi." Once again, Tae spoke up keeping his arm firmly wrapped around me.

Namjoon looked shocked. "Wait, what? He punched you?!"

"Yeah. Shocker I'm sure."

Namjoon's eyes narrowed. "What did you do to him?"

"ME?!" Now Tae had the shocked expression. "I didn't do a damn thing? We were just talking and he punched me."

Suddenly, Namjoon stood up a bit taller, and I realized that he was a lot bigger than either Tae or me. I found myself shrinking a bit, but Namjoon wasn't looking at me. His eyes were locked on Taehyung.

"Yoongi would never punch someone without a good reason. If he kicked you or stabbed you… I might be persuaded, but even if you royally pissed him off, he just wouldn't do that."

"Oh, and you're so sure?" Tae said with a ton of sass.

"He'd never risk his hands on someone like you." Namjoon responded matter-of-factly.

Then it clicked. "The piano…" I mumbled under my breath. Yoongi plays the piano; he wouldn't risk breaking his fingers if it wasn't a big deal.

Namjoon whipped his head in my direction and smiled slightly. "Exactly."

He turned back to Taehyung, " So, what did you do? Did you say something? Did you grab him, corner him, or hold him down? He'd only do something like that out of self defense, or if he felt trapped." I had a sudden flash of Yoongi being underneath me, and then shoving me away.

"I was just trying to talk to him about something. I may have grabbed his arm to get his attention, but that's it."

Namjoon crossed his arms and looked down his nose, "Really? So he didn't tell you to get off? How many times did he tell you to let go?"

Tae shrugged, rolling his eyes towards the ground.

"How many times?!"

"I don't know! Two...maybe three…But he just wasn't listening to me."

Namjoon ran his hand over his face in frustration. "You can't do that to him! You can't…He'll have a panic attack if he's trapped like that."

Wait, what? A wave of guilt washed over me as I thought about our kiss.

I remembered the way he froze when our lips met. How he had tried to say something and I had shushed him. I thought of his hands on my chest when I climbed on top of him. His small whimper was ringing in my ear.

Shit, I had misread all the signs. I thought he was into it, but really he was trying to push me off. Here I am, telling him how thankful I am that he protected me and then I...Oh fuck.

I snapped out of it to see Namjoon and Tae glaring at each other. "Well, how the fuck was I supposed to know that? I needed to talk to him and he wasn't listening to me!"

"Well, you're not listening to me!" Namjoon said back, "What was sooo important that you had to trap him to talk about?"

Taehyung's eyes shot over to me and then down at the ground, "It's none of your business."

"Oh, really?"

"I was just trying to look out for my best friend! Is that a problem?"

"Well, that's all I'm trying to do! Apparently, your friend's issue is your business, but my friend's isn't mine. Seems fair."

A new voice interrupted the tense interaction as Jin stepped between Namjoon and his brother.

"What's going on here?"

Namjoon paused as his eyes traveled up to meet Jin's. He was now looking at someone his own age and size. "Nothing. We are just having a discussion. It really doesn't concern you."

Jin scoffed and crossed his arms, "Well, my brother is holding his face like someone hit him, and his best friend is crying. So, I'm gonna say that something's happening, and I'm pretty damn sure it's my business since it's my brother, my party, and my house. So, either you tell me what's going on, or you get out."

Namjoon huffed. "Fine, whatever. I'm out then. I need to go find my friend anyway." With that, he turned to leave.

"Wait!" I called out.

Namjoon paused and turned to look at me with a raised eyebrow. I turned to Jin, "Can you take Tae to put some ice on his face? I need to ask him something." Jin nodded and threw his arm around his little brother leading towards the kitchen.

As Tae and Jin walked off, I grabbed Namjoon's jacket sleeve and tugged him out the front door.

"What is it Jimin? I need to go find Yoongi." He sounded more confused than annoyed.

"Umm.." Unconsciously, I started rubbing my hands up and down my arms, "What you said earlier, about him having a panic attack? Is that true?"

Namjoon looked down sheepishly, "I, uh, probably shouldn't have told you that... But yeah, it's true."

"Why is that? Did something happen?" I knew that there was probably some reason that Yoongi would have such a strong reaction.

"That's not my place to say. Only Yoongi can tell you about that if he wants to. All you need to know is that Yoongs has had a rough go of things, but he really is a good guy. I'm not just saying that because I'm his friend." I knew that. Even though I had just met Yoongi, I could tell. Guilt swept through me. He was a good person, and I had acted scared of him. I had treated the same way everyone else did when I had put him in the situation to begin with.

"It was my fault." I whispered.

"What was your fault?"

"It wasn't Tae that upset him. That happened after. It was me…" I could feel pricking at the corners of my eyes again.

Namjoon cocked his head to the side and something about it reminded me of a golden retriever. He simply asked, "What did you do?" The answer was embarrassing, but I knew he needed to know in order to help his friend.

"I-I kissed him." I hung my head. "I thought...that he liked me back. And I kind of pinned him down, and then he shoved me off and ran away…"

"Well, shit." Namjoon sighed and ran his hands through his hair.

I sniffed, "He hates me now."

"No, Jimin, don't cry. Trust me, he doesn't hate you. It will be okay." He rested a hand on my shoulder, and gave me a gentle smile. "I'll go find him. He probably was just overwhelmed with everything. I don't know if you noticed, but he doesn't get out much."

I sniffed again, balling my fists in my sleeves. "I can go with you. I need to apologize."

"Not tonight. Give him a minute. Call him tomorrow, or talk to him on Monday. It will all be okay."

He patted my shoulder once again and gave me another small smile. Then he headed off into the night to go and fix my mistake.

Will Yoongi forgive me?