"But then they bring up my past."

-Hotel Books

Yoongi

I was sitting on his front porch step with my head buried in my knees when he found me. He didn't say a word, but I knew who it was when he walked up and sat down beside me with a sigh. We sat in silence for several minutes before he spoke.

"So, you punched the cotton candy kid, huh?"

"Uugh…" I groaned as I covered my face with my hands. "I can't believe I did that."

"Yeah, me neither." Namjoon laughed lightly though I could still hear the concern laced in his voice. "How's your hand?"

I flexed my hurt hand, testing it. "It's sore, but I didn't break anything. How's Taehyung?"

"Pissed." That makes sense. Now for the question I was really scared of.

"And Jimin?"

"Confused," he hesitated for a second and then continued, "... and guilty."

My head shot up at that. I looked over at Namjoon who was staring up at the stars. "Guilty? Why is he guilty? He didn't do anything. I'm the one who shoved him and hit his best friend."

Namjoon's eyes fell from the sky as he looked down at the ground. He paused. "I uh, might have let it slip that you get...upset...when you feel trapped. He feels like he forced himself on you."

"You said what?! Joon! That-That's none of their business. I don't want him to know that!" My heartbeat picked up once again. He's gonna think I'm a freak. He's going to ask what happened and I'm gonna have to lie to him...I don't want to lie to him...

"I know, Yoon. I know. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to. It's just that blue head kid was being such a snot. He kept acting like you were some kind of monster who just hit him out of nowhere for no reason and it made me mad, okay? I don't know why you let everyone think of you this way, man. It's not right."

"Joon, stop. It's for the best. I don't have to explain myself. I don't want other people knowing my business. Please, man, don't make me feel like I can't talk to you."

"I'm sorry. I-I just don't see why you stay there. Why don't you tell the school, or hell, tell the police-" The thought of the police made my chest constrict again. Namjoon didn't even know half of what was happening inside my house and he still wouldn't drop it. Once again, I realized why I could never tell him everything.

"No! Just stop! Stop it. I am not having this conversation again. I thought you of all people would understand!" Namjoon sighed and dropped his hands to the side in resignation.

"Fine. Let's just go inside. You can stay here tonight. There's no way I'm letting you go back there right now."

We made our way to Namjoon's room where he crashed pretty quickly. I, on the other hand, laid awake for a while thinking over everything that had happened today. It was an entire day with Jimin and he was...amazing.

I kept going over his smile, his laugh, and most of all the feeling of his lips on mine. Before everything turned it to a mess, there was a moment where it was all perfect. A smile tugged at my lips as I pictured it again. The stars were shining in the sky casting a glow around him as he leaned over. His honey brown eyes made me want to melt as he gazed back at me. The way he looked at me. When he kissed me. I had felt the electricity even if it was just for a moment.

Just thinking about it made my face flush and my heart race. It made me want to giggle and squeal like a little school girl, but I just laid there and stared at the ceiling with a smile on my face. Eventually, I drifted off with thoughts of Jimin in my head.

The next morning, I awoke before Namjoon and crawled out of bed. As much as I was dreading it, I had to go back to my house. I would need to face the music for this weekend at some point and the longer I was away the worse it would be.

I wasn't allowed out on weekends, and I had snuck away and been gone for a whole day. There was no way that would go unpunished. There would be hell to pay.

It had been worth it though. Even with how everything had turned out, those few hours with Jimin were worth everything coming my way. I just hoped I would be able to go to school tomorrow.

TW: Abuse

The house was dark and quiet when I unlocked the door. It was still early, so most likely Dad was still sleeping. Silently, I crept up the stairs skipping the squeaky fourth step. Dad's door was closed, and I breathed a sigh of relief. Maybe he passed out, and he wouldn't notice that I didn't come back last night. I slipped into my room closing the door quietly behind me as I leaned against it.

The sound of my desk chair squeaking alerted me to his presence. Oh shit! Shitshitshitshitshit.

He was waiting for me. He hated waiting, and who knows how long he had been sitting there fuming and waiting for me to return. So much for school tomorrow. The best I could hope for was that I would be able to walk after this.

I closed my eyes and listened to his heavy boots stomping across the floor towards me as I pressed my back into the door.

"Open your eyes, boy. Don't be a p***** and take your punishment like a man." My eyes peeled open and I stared at the ground as I started to shake when he came to stand directly in front of me. A hand reached out and forcefully gripped my chin making me look up into his angry eyes.

"Do you have any idea how much trouble you caused me this weekend, boy? I lost so much money because of you. And you are going to earn me every penny back plus interest. Do you understand?" I tried to nod my head, but the vice like grip on my chin made it impossible.

"Yes sir."

"Good. Now, I was able to reschedule all your appointments and get you a few more. It's gonna be a busy week. And if I hear one - just one - complaint about you, I'll make you regret ever being born."

"Yes sir."

"Now, strip. Face down on the bed, you know the drill." My hands instantly started moving, pulling my hoodie and shirt over my head and unbuttoning my pants as quickly as I could. I knew better than to disobey or keep him waiting. That would only make this worse. He looked away in disgust as my pale skin came into view littered with hickies, bite marks, bruises, and scars.

Naked, I crawled onto the bed laying face down trembling from head to toe. I knew what was coming. He reserved this punishment for special occasions when I really screwed up. I heard him undoing his belt, and a small whimper accidentally escaped my lips.

He lunged forward and grabbed my hair pulling my head back. "Listen here you little bitch, I don't want to hear a single sound from you. Grow some balls and take your punishment like a man. You did this to yourself. Don't go crying about it now."

He released my hair, and I turned my head away so he wouldn't see my tears.

"Count."

The leather belt snapped loudly as it lashed across my back. I bit my lip and clenched my hands to keep from crying out. The edges of the belt cut into my skin slightly and I knew that a welt was already forming.

Still, I managed to choke out a strained, "One." The belt came down again spreading fire across my shoulder blades. "Two." He brought the belt down again, and again, and again.

The stinging pain that ran from my shoulders to my calves was almost unbearable. My mouth tasted of blood from me biting my lip to control my cries. The haze in my head was so thick. What comes after twenty three? He was waiting for the number, but I didn't know what it was. All I could think about was the pain.

"Count! If I have to hit you again, it won't count to your total."

The belt fell across me again, and a small cry fell from my mouth. I hadn't expected it, and it was a free hit because I hadn't counted. The number jumped to my mind, and I spit it out as fast as I could. "T-twenty four."

The belt snapped across my thighs. "Twenty-five." I mumbled through my tears. At least it was over now. Twenty-five was the most he had ever done. Slowly, my muscles began to relax and I waited to hear him leave so I could cry out loud.

But he didn't leave.

The next sting of the belt was even sharper than the others had been and this time a scream ripped from my throat. Warm blood trickled down my skin. "What? You thought we were done?" My father hissed.

The tears ran down my eyes and I no longer had any control over my whimpers and cries. I couldn't count, so I have no idea how many times that belt came down. All sense of the world was gone. All that was left was pain. Eventually, even that was gone as I slipped from consciousness and fell into the dark.

COLD! I jolted awake. Cold water cascaded down my face and body from the shower head above me. I sputtered and tried to breathe as the water washed over me and then, tinged red from my blood, slid down the drain. My hand reached for the facet, but the slightest movement sent fire wracking through me. The entire back side of my body throbbed and stung where it was touching the cold tub.

The water was shut off and my father threw a towel at me as I lay there shivering. "You're awake. Good. You have a guest coming soon." No matter how I tried to stand, I wasn't able to manage it.

After watching me struggle for a few minutes, my father reached down and threw me over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes. He carried me back to my room and tossed me on the bed causing me to cry out once again as my back touched the covers. Without a word, he turned and left me lying on the bed to wait for some unknown guest to arrive.

Had I known who was coming, I'm not sure if I could have done anything other than lie there, but maybe I would have tried to run.