Chapter Summary: Kakyoin suspects that Jotaro might have been unfaithful.

Author's Note: So I like to do a little tarot reading here and there, right? And I pulled out the trusty old Language of Tarot book (by Jeannie Reed) for this chapter. Can you imagine my absolute delight when I found out that the Hierophant card literally symbolizes marriage (and the Star represents a person born under the Aquarius moon.) Like, y'all. Jotaro and Kakyoin were made for each other. At least in my headcanon.

Funny side note: Araki said that Jotaro is an Aquarius (which explains soooooooo much!) but never specified his birth date. I'm also an Aquarius born on January 21st, so in my mind, Jotaro's birthday is just going to be on January 21st, too.

And lastly! I could not in good conscience just pretend like Jolyne doesn't exist. I haven't read Stone Ocean yet, but I already know that Jolyne is one badass motherfucker who deserves recognition. So we're gonna confront the fact of her existence here and just...keep her in our peripherals until I'm really ready to incorporate her into the Kujo/Kakyoin story. Yeah? Yeah, baby.

Tags: SUPER long chapter (28 pages,) strong language, implied infidelity, angst, hurt/comfort, a lot of reflection/introspection, memories, Narcotics use, sexual themes implied, implied lies/deceit, Anne, and this chapter is ever so slightly self-aware/ironic in some scenarios.

X

He remembered the exact moment that he had fallen in love with Jotaro.

4:44 a.m., a small beach in India. Sitting with his legs crossed beneath a large blue tarp, sweating beneath the sweltering heat from the TIKI torches. Avdol in front of him with tarot cards spread out upon the grey plastic table, Polnareff causing a racket somewhere behind him.

4:44.

Three consecutive fours. He thought about that a lot.

In numerology, the number four signified movement, forward progress, advancement into uncharted territories with wisdom and rationality.

Or, in some cultures, it was simply bad luck. There was a name for it and everything: tetraphobia. Not that he subscribed to that sort of thinking. He was a rational man, sure, and a logical one. But there was something about it, the timing of the consecutive numbers. Maybe it was the universe telling him to pay attention. And he had.

God, he had.

Sometimes, if he tried hard enough, he could close his eyes and bring himself back to that space. Breathe in deep, feel it all over again. So many things came into hyper-focus when he tried, things that he wanted to hold onto forever: the sound of waves crashing and women singing, the red-white-yellow explosions of color in the sky, the cheap wooden fold-out seat cutting into his thigh. Children running past with fizzling sticks, watching them as he wrangled a kernel of popcorn from between his teeth with his tongue. But above all, he remembered the smell of things burning. It had been everywhere: fire in the large brick oven, fire wriggling from the torches, fire in the sky and casting its color along the water, spots of bonfires up and down the beach. The world had been on fire and he hadn't even been scared. It was poetic, he had to admit. Him, Jojo. A matchstick meeting red phosphorus. A purely chemical combustion. There, that was more logical. He liked it better that way.

But sometimes he felt like the memory was slipping away. He wished that he could bottle it in a glass jar, hide it somewhere safe and only take it out to relive the moment in selfish secrecy. He wasn't the type to dwell on regrets or dive too deep into the past, not if he could avoid it. But damn. If only someone could have offered him a cosmic replay button, he'd rewind back to that moment again and again and again. Despite everything - actually marrying Jotaro, adopting Jace, buying a house, defeating Dio - he just wanted to go back and live in the moment that he had fallen in love with Jotaro forever.

Heaven was a place on earth. It was hidden on a little beach in India, the time forever stuck on 4:44 a.m.

X

"Code CAMF. I repeat. Code CAMF, north hallway."

Nurse Akane froze and listened to the overhead speakers with interest. She couldn't remember what Code CAMF stood for. Actually, she was pretty sure that she had never come across it in the hospital manuals.

"Is there a fire?" Her patient asked as she pulled the tips of her stethoscope out of her ears. He gave a mighty sneeze and wiped his nose with the back of his wrist. She shook her head as he adjusted the flaps of the hospital gown over his bare chest.

"I'm sure everything's fine," she said in her most soothing voice. Her patient eyed her suspiciously.

"I don't believe you," he said in a whinny voice before sneezing again. "I used to work at Walmart, you know. We had all sorts of codes. CAMF stands for...for…" his face scrunched up and she winced. "Crazy Ass Massive Fire - AH-CHOO!"

"Lift your tongue," she said, pulling a tongue compressor from its crisp plastic wrapper. "Hmm...everything looks normal. What did you say happened, again?"

"I dunno, man," the man said miserably. "I was walking down the street minding my business when suddenly this guy jumped out from around the corner. Crazy lookin' sonofabitch, I'll tell you that. Had this super long name, too. Stood about four foot three, wearing a suit, talkin' something about some guy named Dio and this thing that he called a Stand. Anyway, he said his...his Stand thingy made people...ah...AH!"

She turned away just as he sprayed a new wave of snot across her uniform. "His...Stand? Made you sneeze?" She said dryly, wiping her face. "But what did he mean by Stand?" The speakers echoed out again, warning of the strange Code CAMF.

"Must be a new strain of Covid, you know, like, strand?" the man muttered, scrubbing away at his nose. "Shit, you think I got Covid, doc?"

"We'll run some tests and…" there was an audible giggle over the speaker as the mysterious code was called out again. "Sir, I'm going to have to ask you to hang tight for a minute."

"Yeah, alright. But hurry up with those tests, okay? Whoever that guy was, he said he was Dio's last living disciple. Huh. You think Dio's the name of one of them new killer variants? You know, like, from Japan or whatever?"

Akane said nothing to this. She rushed out of the door and started jogging through the hospital hallways. She had started to worry. Whatever CAMF was, it was obviously a big deal. She cut a right around the corner and walked up to the receptionist's desk where two women were busy fixing their hair and adjusting their makeup.

"What's going on?" Akane asked. One of the receptionists, a woman by the name of Darlene, lowered her compact mirror and gave Akane a pitying smirk.

"Didn't you hear, darling? We got a major code CAMF in the North Wing waiting room."

"I mean...yeah...I heard. But," she lowered her voice to a whisper so as not to alert the people sitting in the lobby, "what the hell is a CAMF?"

"She's new here," said the other receptionist, Maria. She had several safety pins in her mouth and was busy trying to wrangle her hair into a messy bun. "Poor thing's never experienced a CAMF before."

"I'm sure she has, darling, just not like this," Darlene whispered. The two women giggled.

"Can you two please tell me what the fu...what the fudge a CAMF is?!"

Maria looked at Darlene. Darlene looked at Maria. They burst out laughing and then squealed in sync, "Cute Ass Mother Fucker!"

"Wha-" Akane stopped. She thought about the letters in CAMF and realized that they did, in fact, spell out Cute Ass Mother Fucker. However, she had a hard time believing that the front desk would really put out a PA just because someone cute had walked through the door.

No, she had to be wrong. Maybe Cute Ass Mother Fucker was actually referencing something more sinister, like a contagious patient who was….cute? So busy was she thinking this over that she hadn't realized that the two women had begun to speak in low, excited voices.

"...although, maybe Cute Ass Daddy Fucker would be more appropriate," Darlene mouthed as she traced a tube of Peach Pink lipstick around her lips. Then, seeing Akane's confused look, added. "There's a man who's here to pick up his husband. We call him the Cute Ass Mother Fucker around here."

"You mean daddy fucker, Darlene."

"Oh, you're right, Maria. Jotaro sure is a daddy type isn't he?"

"Mm-hm! Finger-licking good."

This kind of talk made Akane supremely uncomfortable and she wasn't afraid to show it. "He's gay, right, whoever you're talking about?" She interjected heatedly. "If he's picking up his husband? So why bother getting all dolled up?"

Darlene blew herself a kiss in her compact mirror before snapping it shut. "Because maybe he just needs to meet the right woman!"

"Ignoring the fact that that's a supremely ignorant statement, what makes you think you're even a good candidate?" Akane pointed out. But the two women ignored her.

"Oh, Darlene, you're so gauche," Maria said.

"I know."

"Who do you think wears the pants in the relationship? Him? Or Jotaro?"

"He does, for sure. And he wears them so well! Fits snug as a dove in a glove, if you know what I mean. And that snatched waist-"

"I can't wait to see which pants he's wearing today. Ready to escort him upstairs?"

"After you-"

"Actually!" Akane swiped the clipboard out of Maria's hands just as she was about to stand up. "You guys seem like you're pretty busy with your weird armchair gossip. Why don't I go ahead and take one for the team?" And spare whoever this guy is the displeasure of your ogling, she thought to herself. She flipped through the papers on the clipboard until she found the page for patient Jotaro Kujo. Beneath the details of his surgery was a note stating that he was to have a designated driver due to the effects of anesthesia.

Designated Driver: Noriaki Kakyoin, she read as she began to walk away, huh. Where had she heard that name before? She heard one of the women snicker behind her.

"She probably just wants him all to herself," Maria hissed.

"Greedy little chicken…" Darlene said back, which Akane found extraordinarily and painfully ironic. She could have smacked the Peach Pink off of her lips.

It was only when Akane stepped into the elevator did she remember where she had seen Kakyoin's name before. There had been a video of him going around on the web. It was a short video, maybe about three seconds long. In it, he was leaning back in a chair and laughing. One hand had been pressed against his forehead and the other clutched a gaming controller on his lap. It had been taken from his Youtube gaming channel and turned into a meme by internet fans who had immediately been enthralled by his easy smile and fantastic hair. The meme was everywhere: circling through all of her social media accounts and even popping up on billboards around the city. In the beginning, she had been just as obsessed with the video of the handsome Japanese man until it occurred to her that maybe internet fame wasn't everybody's cup of tea. There was just something about the moment caught in the three-second video that seemed so innocent, and sentimental, like it was never meant to be devoured by the hungry masses.

Nonetheless, she couldn't help herself. She dug her phone out of her pocket and pulled up the video once again as she walked towards the waiting room. There he was: eyes squeezed shut, mouth opened wide, his chest jumping with laughter as tears streamed down his cheeks. Someone had left a comment beneath it three seconds ago. It simply read, how it feels to chew 5 Gum. Then another comment left an hour ago: me, when I take two Flintstone Gummies instead of one.

She cringed, pushed her phone back into the pocket of her nursing uniform, and pushed open the door to the waiting room. It was a small room lined with dusty black benches, a broken tv hanging in the corner, and a table with glossy magazines spread along the center. Then there, to her left, sat the man in question. His legs were crossed daintily at the knee as he perused the pages of an old magazine. She knew which one it was just by the faded color: Gamer's Weekly. His finger trailed down the page as he read, his eyes squinted ever so slightly. She had never seen someone so intrigued by the decade's old magazines before. She cleared her throat gently and smiled.

"Noriaki Kakyoin, sir?"

He looked up at her and immediately trapped her with a sharp set of violet eyes. "That's me!" He said and stood up, unveiling a bouquet of yellow tulips by his side. His tone was supremely friendly. Boyish, even. But there was something about his eyes that didn't quite fit his voice. They were ever so slightly cold and calculating. Watching for a threat, it seemed. She wondered what had happened in his life to make him look at the world in such a way. Such an expression didn't seem to fit in with the rest of his face.

Sensing her unease, he stopped a few feet away with a surprised expression. Then a warm smile spread across his lips and he held the bouquet out to her. "For the staff. Thanks for taking care of Jo," he said as she wrapped her arms around the still dewy stems. "Did he give you guys any trouble?"

"Uh…" she shifted the bouquet and ruffled through the pages on the clipboard until she found Jotaro's file again. "There's a note here...says that he...woke up out of anesthesia and...immediately punched Doctor Bryant in the face...because he thought that he was trying to steal his watch…and then…" her eyebrows twitched as she read, but otherwise she tried her best to hide her amusement, "...it says that he had to be sedated again because he threatened to, and I quote, 'kick the ass of every gaping moron staring at him.' "

"I see…" Kakyoin said slowly, his eyes wandering away from her. It was obvious that his husband's abrasive behavior was nothing new. "Well, my apologies. I know Jotaro can be a bit of a handful. Although I would've thought that the after-effects of anesthesia would have had a more calming effect on him."

"To be honest, sir, I'd probably be upset too if I woke up from anesthesia and thought the doc was reaching for my watch."

"He is particular about his Tag Heuer."

"All the more reason! Right this way, sir."

She led him down the hall and past the receptionist's office. Maria and Darlene positively swooned when they saw him. They began to fan themselves and whisper behind their hands. Kakyoin reached up and touched his face subconsciously and she noticed, for the first time, the faint pink scars lining both of his eyes. Once again, she was inclined to wonder what had happened to him.

"Is there something on my face?" He asked as they passed the giggling receptionists.

"Uh...n-no," she said, casting the two women a warning glance. "Ignore them. They have too much time on their hands. Here we are!"

She pushed open the door and stepped back as he entered the room. The patient, Jotaro, was sitting up in his bed and munching thoughtfully on a spoonful of jello. The left side of his face was slightly swollen and his knee was propped up on a set of pillows. He stopped his chewing just long enough to give Kakyoin a thoughtful stare.

"Hey, champ," Kakyoin said. He seemed to be flooded with relief as he rushed to his husband's side and pulled out a chair.

"Who the hell're you?" Jotaro asked, a slight slur in his voice. It was obvious that the anesthesia hadn't completely worn off yet. Kakyoin laughed and rested his arms on the bed.

"He's going to be a little bit confused and dazed for a while," she quickly offered up. "Give him some time, he'll come around."

"Right!" Kakyoin said with another amused laugh and then turned to his husband. "Jojo! You really don't know who I am? Come on, don't I look at least a little bit familiar?"

Jotaro gave a one-sided grin and closed his eyes. "I think I'd remember meeting a guy like you."

Kakyoin blushed as she stifled a giggle. She knew that she should have left the room by that point - she did have a patient waiting, after all - but watching the two men interact was somehow enthralling. And cute. "What's that supposed to mean?" Kakyoin asked.

"It means that you've got a pretty set of eyes that'd be hard to forget," Jotaro said. "You're lucky I'm married, or else I might've just asked you out on a date."

"Oh, you're married, are you?" Kakyoin teased. Jotaro held up his hand and spun his wedding ring around his finger.

"Good grief, don't tell me you're jealous."

"What if I am?"

"You'd be wasting your time. The guy I married would knock the socks right off you."

"Interesting," Kakyoin said, slipping her a surreptitious glance. "So what's his name, this lucky guy that you married?"

"Uh…" Jotaro hesitated. "Polnareff?"

This sent Kakyoin into a fit of raucous laughter that almost made him fall out of his chair. She didn't know what was so funny, but the sight of him rocking back and forth and holding his sides made her giggle and soon they were both laughing like a couple of hyenas drunk off of gin.

"Oh man, I wish I caught that on camera," Kakyoin wheezed, wiping the tears from his eyes with both hands. "You think you're married to Polnareff, of all people? I'm never going to let you live that down."

"Who's Polnareff," she managed to choke out before giving a weak round of coughs.

"I'll tell you one thing, it's definitely not his husband," this, for whatever reason, made Kakyoin howl again and he fell against the wall with one hand braced against his forehead. She was reminded of the laughing meme again and thought that this is how it should have been: him, his husband, a tender moment passed in the privacy of a small room. Jotaro was glaring at them both in a way that showed that he was very much unamused by their laughter.

"You wanna tell me what's so funny, wiseguy?" He growled. The slur in his voice made him seem only comically menacing and this made them both laugh again.

"Ah, Jojo," Kakyoin croaked. He reached down and brushed Jotaro's hair away from his forehead. "If only you knew…"

Her phone suddenly rang, frightening her terribly. She jumped and hurriedly dug it out of her pocket. Her ringtone had been set to the song Jolene and the sudden high wailing of Dolly Parton was awkward. She was so embarrassed that she lost grip of her phone multiple times before finally silencing it with an angry tap.

"Jolene? By Dolly Parton?" Kakyoin asked, looking back at her. He was still running his hand back and forth across Jotaro's forehead. There was something possessive and yet warm about the gesture.

"Yeah, sorry, I just-"

"Jolyne, huh? I got a little girl named Jolyne," Jotaro said lazily, sticking the plastic spoon of jello back in his mouth. Kakyoin sighed and shook his head.

"You must be really out of it," he said. "Come on, let's get you home-"

"You calling me a liar?" Jotaro said back, his eyes narrowed ever so slightly. Kakyoin's hand froze mid-stroke as he looked back down at his husband.

"Jo…" Kakyoin said slowly, carefully. All traces of laughter had evaporated from his face. "You have a son, Jace. You don't have a daughter."

"I know I have a son!" Jotaro said. He was getting angry, it was unmistakable. She wondered if now was a good time for her to go and maybe ask Doctor Bryant to sedate him again. "Didn't hear me? I just told you that I have a little girl, too!"

"Jotaro," Kakyoin's eyes went dark and his voice dropped an octave. "Look at me."

Jotaro held his husband's eye, his expression cool and unyielding. She had that feeling again, like Kakyoin was calculating him. Appraising. Assessing a threat. But what the threat was, she didn't know. She gulped and took a step back, feeling very much like she was the spectator to some inner drama that she shouldn't've been privy to. Was it possible that the raven-haired man had a child that his husband didn't know about? She put her hand on the door.

"You don't have a daughter…do you?" Kakyoin asked, slowly.

Jotaro was grinding his teeth, she could tell by the way that his jaw jumped. His grip on the jello cup tightened, harder and harder until the thin blue plastic gave an audible crumple. His wedding ring was splattered with red jello. She watched as rivers of red slithered from between his fingers, looking very much like blood.

Then suddenly his grip relaxed. The tension left his face. He crossed his arms, threw one leg over the other, and looked away as if already bored by the whole thing.

"Who the hell're you," he asked Kakyoin again.

Right, she thought as she awkwardly slipped out of the door, the anesthesia.

Jotaro obviously didn't know what he was talking about.

X

"That boy's like hard candy. He looks sweet, until you bite down and realize that you've cracked your teeth on a marble."

That's what one of his mother's friends had said about him, back in Japan during one of her many tea parties. He couldn't've been more than five.

He remembered that day vividly. They had all gathered outside in the garden. Kakyoin hadn't wanted to be there, but his mother had insisted that he take a break from his video games and say hello. He had come downstairs to find his mother cradling her friend's daughter in her lap, one hand resting on the girl's tiny waist and the other fiddling with the yellow bows in her hair. And he had been jealous then. So terribly and awfully jealous. Because there they all were: a mother, a doting young girl in a yellow dress, a group of perfumed women decked in Sunday pastels in the garden. By that point, he knew that none of them - not a single damn one of them - knew what it was like to be haunted by a literal monster (which he later came to realize was his Stand.) The various tests performed by doctors and shrinks and worried teachers alike hadn't exactly made things clearer at the time.

He had looked at the giggling girl on his mother's lap and wondered, with a child's vehemence, if she had ever been made to look at weird black pictures and tell the doctors what she saw.

It was at that moment that the lady had chosen to make the hard candy comment. Now that he was an adult, he could look back and see why. He must've seemed so standoffish, standing there on the edge of everything with a glare on his face. It didn't help that by that time he had stopped speaking altogether. Selective mutism. The appearance of Hierophant when he was so young was a traumatic burden that only he carried.

But the comment stuck with him. He thought about it now as he sped through the streets of San Francisco in a fast car. Rain pelted the window and spread in quivering ripples along the glass. But inside the car, it was warm, cozy, and heady with the smell of Jotaro's cologne. Like he was in a completely different world. The radio was playing softly, some late-night commercial for a fast-food restaurant.

"That boy's like hard candy. He looks sweet, until you bite down and realize that you've cracked your teeth on a marble."

Out of the corner of his eye, he watched the waves of Ocean Beach rush at the shore. Somewhere beyond was the Golden Gate Bridge. He could just barely make out the skeletal structure rising from the electric grey fog. The comment had stuck with him, often replaying in his mind at the most random times. He didn't know how he felt about it. It was true, to a point, he guessed. He was fully aware of the first impression that he gave off: sweet, polite, put together, cool-headed Kakyoin. But hard, like a marble? He wondered…

He had asked Joseph his opinion on the statement. The older man had taken on a faraway look and scratched his chin, avoiding eye contact. Kakyoin could tell that he was trying to find the right words to phrase something that he thought Kakyoin might find offensive.

"Well," Joseph had finally said after a few more seconds had passed. "You've got an edge."

"You mean like a ruler," Kakyoin had asked, thinking that Joseph had implied that he was straight edge. Jotaro had found this exceedingly funny for some reason.

"More like a razor dipped in chocolate," was his response.

Straight edge, hard marble. Kakyoin just didn't get it. He thought that he hid that side of himself pretty well. After all, he had been raised to be the perfect gentleman, so much so that it sometimes annoyed the hell out of Jotaro. Immovable, polite, pretty Kakyoin who barely raised his voice or his fists if he could avoid it. Kakyoin, who knew the proper placement for every piece of cutlery at the dinner table. Kakyoin, who helped old ladies step over rain puddles and lent them his expensive jackets.

Kakyoin, who had also elbowed Polnareff in the nose and made him bleed just to teach him a lesson.

But there was something about the marble metaphor that he couldn't let go of. He could see himself as a marble: a hardened resin encasing a glittering green cosmos. But no, that wasn't right. Dio had blown a hole right through his center, sucked the cosmos right out of him, made it spill out onto the streets of Cairo right in front of his very eyes. And then, later on in the hospital, they had filled the emptied space with intricate silicone tubing and artificial patchwork that he still didn't understand. So what did that make him now? Hardened resin with fake, plastic innards. Deceptively unassuming. A pretty, polite hard edge with nothing inside.

He hated thoughts like these. They drove him crazy, made him feel untethered when he lost control over them. Some mornings he woke up and wondered just who the hell he even was anymore. Dealing with his Stand at such a young age had been confusing enough. And then the crusade just made things worse.

Identity crisis, his therapist had said.

Shut up, had been his uncharacteristically venomous response. After that, he had decided to find a new therapist, number fourteen

He yanked the wheel around and sent the car skidding diagonally across a crosswalk. A wave of muddied water rose behind his tires and sprayed the pedestrians waiting at the corner of the street. They raised their fists and cried out behind him, but were soon lost in the neon mishmash of the San Francisco city lights. The car gave an angry mechanical purr as he slid around another corner, this time hard enough to throw his passenger into the door. Jotaro reached up and grabbed the handle above the door, holding on for dear life. Usually, Kakyoin was a mild-tempered and patient driver. But not tonight. Tonight, he drove like a bat fresh out of Hell.

"You trying to kill us?" Jotaro asked above the sound of the whirring engine. "Good grief."

"If I wanted to kill you, you'd already be dead, Jojo," Kakyoin responded simply, one hand on the wheel and the other placed behind Jotaro's headrest. There was no mistaking the menacing ring in his voice.

For a brief moment, Jotaro wondered whether or not he was joking.

"What's your deal?" He asked as Kakyoin took another hard turn.

"I don't have one!"

"Ah, come on. Don't get all coy on me. There's something on your mind, I can tell by the way that you're driving. Also, your eyebrows are doing that thing again."

"Is that so," Kakyoin said slowly, raising his eyes to peer at a flashing billboard above them. Though the window was blurry beneath the onslaught of rain, he could still make out the pixelated image of his own face way up in the sky. He sighed, wishing he had never granted various sponsors permission to use his popular laughing video in their advertisements. But there he was: immovable, polite, pretty Kakyoin up there for the world to see and fawn over. He looked away, feeling suddenly very irritable. Maybe it was time to shave off his eyebrows. He was tired of Jotaro reading them like some kind of book. "If you can read me so well then why don't you tell me what's on my mind?"

"I'm guessing that it has to do with my trip to the hospital. You've been acting weird ever since we got back."

"Uh-huh…" Kakyoin said tepidly, not particularly willing to dive any deeper into this conversation.

"So?"

"So?!"

"Spit it out already!"

"It's nothing, I guess, but…" Kakyoin's eyes met Jotaro's in the rearview mirror. "Jotaro," he said in a firm voice. There was no turning back, not now. "You'd never cheat on me...would you?"

Jotaro said nothing to this. The silence that spanned between them filled Kakyoin with anxiety. Though he wasn't looking at him, he could feel the heat of Jotaro's gaze along the side of his face. He saw his hand tighten on the handle from the corner of his eye and then fall suddenly limp. Jotaro let go, crossed his arms in front of his chest, and looked away.

"Seriously?" Was all that he said.

"Yeah, seriously," Kakyoin answered back, tilting his wheel again and shoving his palm against the horn as a car slowed down in front of them. "Will you just answer the damn question?"

"Don't need to. It's stupid."

Kakyoin balked at his husband's sudden bluntness. "Look who's being coy now. And don't call my questions stupid."

"Wouldn't have to if they weren't, wiseguy."

Kakyoin slammed his hand on the horn, less out of irritation at the other driver and more out of plain, old frustration. "Why is it so goddamn hard for you to answer?!"

"Because maybe I don't wanna! Don't you realize that asking questions like that is insulting?!"

"Then just tell me 'no' and we'll be done with the matter!"

"Are you possessed by an enemy Stand or something? What the hell would make you ask me that?"

Kakyoin tightened his hands on the wheel, refusing to look at Jotaro. "You said something in the hospital, something that was very concerning."

"What, when I was coming out of anesthesia?" Jotaro gave a derisive laugh. "If I had said that I was a sparkly pink dolphin, would you have believed that, too?"

"Glad to see that your humor is improving," Kakyoin said in a low, tight voice. "But I'm not in the mood." They were stopped at a red light, both of them watching the windshield wipers swiping back and forth across the window. "Jotaro. All I need is for you to say 'no' and we can drop this whole thing. We'll forget all about it. Hell, I'll even apologize for asking. So. I'm going to ask you one...last...time." The light turned green, but Kakyoin ignored it. Instead, he turned his head and fixed Jotaro with a disconcertingly stormy glare as the cars behind them honked their horns. "You'd never cheat on me...would you?"

Jotaro stared back at him, his eyes angry and dark. There was a pandemonium of cars honking and people yelling out of their windows all around them. But, in the small space of the car, wedged so tightly next to each other, music playing softly, cologne heavy in the air, their gazes remained locked. Kakyoin felt as if he were back in the hospital, trying to comprehend the words that had come out of Jotaro's mouth.

I know I have a son! Didn't hear me? I just told you that I have a little girl, too!

It couldn't be. Jotaro would never. The idea was too far-fetched, laughable, even. He knew that. But still. All that he needed at that moment was for Jotaro to say 'no' and he'd be willing to let it all go. A new billboard was flashing above them, this one a CocaCola ad featuring his own laughing face. The light of it washed over them, flooding the car with irony. The fake, pretty, unassuming Kakyoin of the world's dream laughing at the hardened, questioning Kakyoin sitting in the car. Jotaro was the first to break eye contact.

"Cheating's not in my blood," he said to the window before him.

That was it.

That was fucking it.

Kakyoin threw his door open and shoved himself out of the car. A gust of rain blasted him across the face but he didn't care. The cars behind them were still honking, enraged at being trapped behind a car stopped at a green light. He whirled around and slammed the door shut before Jotaro could say another word. It didn't matter, he knew what his husband would say. You're being a diva, good grief, is this really necessary, etc. The usual whenever Kakyoin got heated. He slipped his scarf over his head and began to walk away. He heard the window to the car give a quiet hiss as Jotaro rolled it down.

"Tenmei!" He shouted over the sounds of the city and the rain. "What the hell do you think you're doing?!"

Kakyoin had reached the middle of the street. His body was quickly becoming drenched. He spun around, bathed in the glow from the headlights surrounding him, and stuck his arms out. "I just needed a simple answer, Jo," he called out as he walked backward, away from the car. "You could've just told me 'no!'"

"Good grief, is this really necessary?! You're standing in the middle of the damn street, Kakyoin!" A car sped around him and Jotaro punched the horn. "You're being a-"

"Diva? I know. As the kids say: TTYL, Jotaro!" Kakyoin flashed the peace sign over his shoulder, stepped onto the sidewalk, and began to walk away. He heard Jotaro rev the engine and he began to run. Feeling silly, he ducked beneath the overhang of a nearby building and watched as Jotaro sped past, no doubt searching for him. He giggled, feeling maniacal and hurt and crazy and lost beneath the San Francisco city lights.

X

4:44.

A small beach in India.

It had been a rare sort of day for the crusade. They hadn't encountered any enemy Stand users for a while and thus were able to pass from one destination to another without any trouble. Mr. Joestar had booked rooms in a hostel on the edge of the city. It was a small establishment (if it could even be called that) run by a kind woman who cooked meals for her guests out of her tiny kitchen while at the same time tending to her own family's needs. Kakyoin remembered her well: she had been surprisingly young and achingly beautiful, her pastel yellow sari bunched around her hip where a baby usually sat in a swaddling of crisscrossing cloths. Laughter was always tumbling from her upturned lips, even as the sweat trickled down her face and melted into her clothes while she cooked. The sound of it had rung out across the beach, through time and space, forever etched into his memory.

None of them had been able to sleep that night. Maybe it was the sound of the crashing waves, or the children chasing each other back and forth across the sand. Kakyoin had wandered out of the cramped room sometime around four in the morning, unable to sleep due to the motor-like snoring of the room's occupants. Polnareff had been against rooming with strangers and Mr. Joestar had immediately called him a spoiled princess because of it ("what, did you expect to spend every night out here in a five-star luxury hotel? There's a such thing as laying low, you know!") It was an odd feeling for Kakyoin, being surrounded by so many strangers at such a pivotal point in their journey, but Mr. Joestar had a point. Besides, they'd only be staying a single night in the hostel, anyway.

Out of habit, his slippers had been stowed away neatly on a shelf pushed up against the wall of the porch. He had let his feet down gently, cherishing the feeling of the still-warm sand beneath his toes. Before him lay the ocean, black at this time of night, and to the left a crescent of tall trees interspersed with bonfires. A sort of makeshift dining area had been set up behind the hostel, complete with old plastic tables and wooden fold-out seats scattered in front of a brick oven. TIKI torches stood like many crooked sentries around the tables, giving the air a suffocating, sweltering feel. A few people sat in groups around the area, leaning in close to each other and chattering excitedly. He had been surprised to see his friends among them at such a late hour: there was Mr. Joestar talking to a woman with short black hair at a far table, Jotaro with his elbows on another table and smirking as he watched Polnareff gesture emphatically to a group of amused young Indian women, and Avdol sitting alone with his arms crossed, gazing into the fire of the brick oven with a thoughtful frown on his face

Kakyoin didn't know why, but it had been Avdol's presence that he desired more than anyone else's. They had always had a mutual respect for one another. Kakyoin had always thought that Avdol was the ideal version of a true gentleman: gracious, strong, and subtle to a point. His parents would have loved him.

A group of kids had run past him then, throwing poppers at his feet and cackling as he hurriedly stepped back. As he watched in nostalgic amusement, they had lit several fizzling sticks and ran whooping into the night.

"Pardon me, ma'am, but is there a celebration going on tonight?" He had asked the matron. She had laughed a musical, full-bodied laugh at this and wiped the sweat from her brow. The baby on her hip hiccoughed and nestled its head against her waist.

"Ev'ry day is a cel'bration when you are one of God's cre-ations," she had sung in beautiful, broken English as she lifted a wooden bowl full of heavily glazed popcorn from one of her shelves. "For you," she added, pressing it into his arms. "Hurry, eat it now before the kids ask for it."

"Domou arigatou," he had said out of sheer habit before realizing that he was speaking his native tongue. "I mean, dhanyvaad."

"You are welcome! Aapka swagat hai! Dou itashimasite! Bye!" She had given another robust laugh, before turning the music up on her old stereo. The Caves of Altimira, Steely Dan. The people in the dining area gave a cheer and began to rise from their seats, swaying in time to the groovy American music. Kakyoin weaved his way between them, stopping once to place a gentle pat on Jotaro's shoulder before settling himself down in front of Avdol. The older man looked up at him and gave him a half-smile.

"Kakyoin. I had a feeling that you would come."

"Said the fortune teller."

Avdol had sucked his teeth, wagged his finger at him. "That's not the only reason."

"Really?" Kakyoin couldn't help it. Screw the calories. Screw his perfect waistline. The popcorn just looked so damn good. "What's the other reason?"

Avdol grinned, closed his eyes. "Jotaro," he said. "If he's here, I knew you wouldn't be far behind."

"Huh," Kakyoin said, throwing a glance Jotaro's way. At the time, there wasn't much reason for him to think too hard on Avdol's speculation. Of course, by that time, he and Jotaro had shared a few rather interesting nights together in the hotels but Avdol couldn't have known that. A firework exploded in the night sky and the guests of the hostel screamed in response.

"I've been meaning to ask you," Kakyoin started slowly, watching the slivers of blue light unfold in the sky. "Your tarot deck...how exactly does it work?"

"I'd be happy to show you. We'll start with a simple Celtic Cross. In order to do this, you must first choose ten cards."

Avdol reached beneath his coat and pulled out an old deck ruffled by repeated use. The music was blasting now. Fireworks were going off one after another with no discretion, lighting their world in fiery hues of orange, blue, and green. The matron gave a whoop and began to sing as she danced around the brick oven. Kakyoin leaned over the table and pulled ten cards from the deck, which Avdol then arranged into a cross alongside a single row of four cards. From the corner of his eye, Kakyoin saw Mr. Joestar pull in closer to the black-haired woman, a look of mutual interest upon their faces.

"Tarot reading is a form of divination," Avdol was saying and Kakyoin struggled to hear him. "Divination works as a sort of compass, if you will. Different things come into play when you're considering the magnetic force exerting its power upon the compass, like the person receiving the reading and certain factors in their life." He began to flip the cards over, one by one as the fireworks continued to go off in the sky. Somewhere behind him, Jotaro was laughing. "This, in turn, creates likely conclusions to any questions the receiver may pose based on variables present in the moment."

"Interesting. So there are multiple conclusions to a reading?"

"Precisely. But, like I said, Kakyoin, due to variables present at the moment of the reading, some conclusions are more likely to come to fruition than others. Like a powerful storm brewing on the horizon, we are able to predict the weather with only a certain percentage of certainty."

"I think I understand…" he was beginning to sweat. The old wooden seat was cutting into his thigh and he shifted uncomfortably as he surveyed the cards on the table, trying his best to surreptitiously maneuver a kernel of popcorn around his teeth. "So give it to me straight, Avdol. Are there any storms brewing in my future?"

"Let's see…" Avdol crossed his arms again and considered the cards, a frown forming on his face.

"The answer's 'yes,' isn't it?"

Avdol smirked. "Perhaps I should make you my prodigy. You're already one hell of a fortune teller, Kakyoin. But this card here, number six...it concerns me. It speaks to the immediate future."

Kakyoin peered at the card, a handsome Egyptian soldier with his weapon raised, riding upon a horse breathing fire.

"The Knight of...Swords?" he said carefully. "I've heard of that card. It symbolizes violence, destruction...a sudden attack, if I remember correctly. And…" death.

Avdol nodded, slowly, avoiding his eye as he turned the card over. It was obviously bothering him, more than he was willing to admit to Kakyoin. There was tension in the moment and Kakyoin didn't like it at all so he quickly changed the subject.

"That card there, number seven," he said, pointing. "I've noticed you looking at it. What does it mean?"

"So I have. Card number seven represents the subconscious or something that's been on your mind that you haven't been aware of. That there is the Star, card number seventeen in the Major Arcana. It represents Aquarius. Do you know anyone born between January 20th and February 18th?"

"I don't think so…" Kakyoin said, his eyebrows creasing as he thought. The music playing from the stereo was so loud, everybody was screaming in jubilation. Fireworks were exploding all around him. The waves were roaring as they crashed upon the shore. He couldn't think straight, not with the heat and the sound of the world around him. Friends and family of the hostel matron were dancing around the tables, tapping their feet and swishing past him with ecstatic, drunken smiles on their faces. By chance - by some strange prickling at the back of his neck - he looked up at the clock hanging from the outside of the hostel, looked down, and caught Jotaro's eye. 4:44 am. The singer on the stereo was wailing:

"Before the fall, when they wrote it on the wall

When there wasn't even any Hollywood

They heard the call

And they wrote it on the wall

For you and me, and we understood."

That was it.

That was the moment that he had fallen in love, with Steely Dan's voice in his ear and fireworks in the sky. He had immediately recognized the magnanimity of the moment. For, with all the chaos and the sounds and the lights in the sky, Jotaro was there, staring at him through it all with his cool blue eyes. The residue of a smile on his lips. His expression watchful beneath the brim of his hat, his elbow on the table, cigarette smoke swirling around the edges of his face. So far away and yet made so close by the look in his eye, one that colloquially translated to come hither.

Kakyoin saw him then and realized that he wanted to see him like that for the rest of his life.

"There's another thing-" Avdol was saying.

"What's that," Kakyoin said distractedly, unable to break away from Jotaro's gaze.

"Card number ten. It signifies the outcome of all variables considered. The horizon at the end of a journey, if you will."

"Uh-huh..." Kakyoin said, standing up.

"You pulled Hierophant."

"What does that mean?"

"Tradition. Orthodoxy. Social institutions." Avdol laughed. "To put it simply: marriage. Kakyoin. Card number seven told me that there is a person born under the Aquarius moon who is on your mind. And now card number ten, Hierophant, has told me that you will marry that person. Are you sure you don't know who that is?"

"Actually," Kakyoin said as he began to walk away. He remembered, now. There was one amongst them who had been born on January 21st, exactly. Jotaro's eyebrow had raised as he watched Kakyoin approach. "I think I do."

4:44 a.m.., a little beach in India. A magnetic intensity had spanned between him and Jotaro, nudging his compass, influencing his mind, and pushing him towards Jotaro.

X

Kakyoin walked the streets of San Francisco for a long time, his head nestled beneath his scarf as he trudged along through the rain. He was thinking of his mansion, back home in Japan. Already, he was beginning to miss his cherry grove, his arcade room, and his son. Californian weather was just so tempestuous and angsty, and he didn't know many people in California anyway. But Jotaro was obsessed with the idea of living in San Francisco. He had grown up on images of the fantastic city with its endless towers and infinite possibilities. So they had cut a deal: an Americanized mansion in Japan and a Japanese-inspired dwelling in America, complete with movable panel doors and wooden-floored passages. The house in San Francisco was still in the process of being built, but they had decided to come out and spend a few nights in it anyway. Kakyoin's sudden rise to fame due to his laughing meme had created an aura of celebritydom in Japan that made him uncomfortable.

But he wasn't sure that he wanted to be in San Francisco with Jotaro anymore. Not after what he thought he had heard Jotaro admit to in the hospital. He just wanted to go back home to his mansion in the hills of Japan, pull Jace into his arms, and drink hot chocolate in his pajamas in front of the fireplace.

Suddenly, a man jumped out in front of him. He was short, maybe four feet to Kakyoin's five-ten, and decked out in a baby blue pinstripe suit that was several sizes too large for him. In one hand he held a large black suitcase that he dropped loudly on the ground between them.

"Alas!" The man cried out in a triumphant, nasally voice. "I am Aurora Borealis St. Whodunnit the Third, aka Saint Johnson et Johnson of the Queen But Heretofore Known As Your Eternal Demise! Alas! I am DIO's Last Living Disciple! I have followed you on your trek through Egypt and to Japan and now here, to the Sunshine State! And I shall make you pay for what you've done, Nokia Kakyoin! Now, alas, I know what you're thinking. Where was I when DIO fell? Why have I chosen now, of all times, to make my grand appearance? Well, alas, I'll tell you: it was because I was too scared to take you on when Lord DIO died. I ran away and hid! But I am stronger now and ready to take you on! Alas! Nokia!" The man pulled a handkerchief from his front pocket and dabbed at his sweaty forehead. "I, Aurora Borealis St. Whodunnit the Third aka Saint Johnson et Johnson of the Queen But Heretofore Known As Your Eternal Demise shall preface your Damnation! Behold my Stand: the harbinger of aaa-choos, the god of bless you's, a Stand that will make you sneeze-"

Kakyoin's nose crinkled. He threw his head back and then gave a dainty sneeze that whipped his head forward. He reached out, plucked the handkerchief from the man's hand, and blew his nose with it.

"Arigatou," he said politely as he handed the handkerchief back and began to walk away. Aurora Borealis St. Whodunnit the Third, aka Saint Johnson et Johnson of the Queen But Heretofore Known As Your Eternal Demise watched him walk away with a surprised look on his face.

Alas! See how he walks away with such confidence, he thought, quivering in his overly large shoes as Kakyoin walked down the street with his back to him, he did not even flinch at the mighty power of my Stand! Such a courageous young fellow! So bold and mighty! Not a frightened bone in his body! I see now why my Lord DIO was chopped down by his might! Truly, he is a worthy adversary but not one that I am able to face yet! Alas. One day, soon, Nokia Kakyoin, I shall find you again when I am stronger and can wield my Stand with an even mightier precision! And then….I will drive you mad with the power of my Sneeze-Inducing Stand!

With that, Aurora Borealis St. Whodunnit the Third, aka Saint Johnson et Johnson of the Queen But Heretofore Known As Your Eternal Demise picked up his briefcase and slunk back to wherever the hell he had come from.

Kakyoin had barely noticed any of this. If he had, he wouldn't have particularly cared. His mind was still on Jotaro. He was trying to take a calculating approach to the entire situation. He had always found comfort in mathematical equations. They were concrete, resolute, and clean-cut if you knew what you were doing. It was the very reason why he had taken over the sole responsibility of the Kujo-Kakyoin finances, much to their butler's amusement. But there was nothing concrete, resolute, or clean-cut about the possibility of Jotaro's infidelity. Every time that he thought of Jotaro in bed with a woman, he wanted to scream and slam his fist in the wall. Jotaro had been spending more and more time away from Japan during the past few years and Kakyoin hadn't had reason to suspect anything. He had just assumed that Jotaro was busy at the Research Facility.

But it was one thing to have an affair and a completely other thing to have a child because of it.

There was a nauseating heat rising in his belly. He stopped and braced his forehead against a random wall, feeling dizzy and stupid and desperate. He had been raised a Buddhist and thus didn't believe in God in the traditional sense. But just then he prayed with everything in him that Jotaro hadn't...that he couldn't have cheated on him. That would have been a blow worse than the one that DIO had dealt him.

He wrenched himself away from the wall and continued to stumble down the street until he entered the San Francisco equivalent of the Red Light District. Here, was an avenue decked out in neon signs boasting nudity, bars, and excitement. Everywhere he looked, sparkly silhouettes of women kicked their legs out of martini glasses and swung LED lassos around their heads. Men and women alike stumbled out of bars dressed in risque finery. The smell of alcohol and marijuana was everywhere. Drunken laughter rang out up and down the street.

Slightly ahead of him was a three-story concrete building with disco lights spilling out of the windows. An old-fashioned parlor sign bore the word 'MONEY' lit up by green, flashing bulbs. This was his destination, as odd as it may have seemed for a man like him. As he approached, he noticed a man with his legs wrapped around the top of a STOP sign with three ecstatic Rottweilers barking beneath him. The crowd surrounding the man gasped and laughed as he slid a few inches down, the bottom of his trousers split and revealing a rather unsightly set of heart-checkered boxers.

"KAAAAA-CUTIE!" A loud voice boomed. Kakyoin turned with a smile to face the woman in the doorway of the strip club. She was a sight to behold sitting, as she was, in an old golden chair fashioned into a makeshift throne. An albino python sat nestled across her shimmery shoulders and at her feet stood a taxidermied body of an alligator which she had been running her bare toes across.

"Come 'ere, baby! Give this old lady a goddamn hug!" She threw her heavily bangled arms out and he rushed to embrace her.

"Careful, careful," she squealed as he was enveloped in the smell of cheap Macy's perfume and vodka. "Watch the balloons!"

"You sized up, I see," he said, pulling back and bashfully averting his eyes from her powdery breasts which were spilling rather recklessly out of her tank top.

"800 ccs of the good stuff, babe." She pulled her fur coat aside and adjusted her breasts gratuitously, making them jiggle in a very obscene way. The man on the STOP sign began to cry as the dogs jumped up at him. "Soon I'll have more silicone in me than you. I'll call you Barbie if you call me Ken, doll. We'll both be made of plastic."

He laughed heartily at this. This was Kitty Galore: an old friend that he had met in a strip club whilst on the crusade. It was no exaggeration to say that she had been the indirect cause of one of his and Jotaro's more exciting nights on the crusade. He had maintained a close friendship with her over the years, despite her taking up residence in California and him living in Japan. In fact, Kakyoin had come to realize, aside from the rest of the Crusaders, she was one of his closest living friends and the only person that he'd allow to poke fun at the fact that his abdomen had been partially reconstructed with silicone after DIO had blown a hole through it.

She held her martini up to the python draped across her neck and watched with a dreamy expression as it lapped at the surface. "No, really, but what do you think? About the boob job, I mean? Oh, don't look at me like that! I know you're gayer than a rainbow trout at the discotheque. I want your objective opinion, honey bun."

Kakyoin thought for a moment, rubbed his chin. "I think next time we go bowling, you can tell the attendants that you brought your own balls."

"BAAA! You hear that, Fenty?" She said, wriggling her finger beneath the python's broad head. "I told you they could be used as more than weapons. BENTLEY! MERCEDES! LAMBO!" She called out to the barking Rottweilers. "Aim higher, for the balls, if you want a light treat! Caught him taking an upskirt photo of one of my girls," Kitty said in a low voice, tilting her chin at the crying man atop the STOP sign.

"They're not gonna bite him, are they?" Kakyoin asked as he watched spittle fly from the mouths of the three dogs. Kitty pursed her lips, shrugged.

"I haven't decided yet. But hey. Speaking of violence, terror, horror…how's it hanging in room forty-three?"

Room forty-three was their codename for Jotaro. Upon their first meeting, Kitty had given him a spare key to Jotaro's hotel room, number forty-three. It was funny, in a way. Back then, Kakyoin had suspected that Jotaro had been spending a rather raunchy night with an American tourist by the name of Emmett. It hadn't really mattered. They hadn't been an official couple back then and Jotaro had only been showing Emmett a card trick. But here he was once again, questioning Jotaro's private life. Full circle.

He avoided Kitty's heavily made-up green eyes and shrugged delicately. "He's fine," was all that he said. Kitty gasped and pointed at him.

"Oh shit! Powder my nose and call me Mia Wallace! There's trouble in paradise!"

"Not really. I mean-"

"-you are mean," she said, thrusting her finger in his chest, "because you're lying to me, Ka-cutie. I can tell because your eyebrows are doing that thing."

Okay, that was it. He was definitely going to shave his eyebrows now. He sighed and ran his hand curiously along the snake's back. There was no use in lying to Kitty. She was like a bloodhound when it came to sniffing out deceit. "I think Jotaro might have...cheated on me," he finally said. Cheated. God, he hated that word. It sounded like something that happened to everybody else, something that should have never been able to touch him in his perfect, fantasy world.

Kitty dug the tip of her pinky around in her ears and leaned in closer. "Eh? What was that, honey? I don't speak bullshit." Then, seeing his annoyed expression, she leaned back. "What in the world makes you say that?" She began to rub her toes along the back of her taxidermied alligator again, her curiosity piqued. Whilst alive, the alligator had been a cherished family pet rescued from an illegal exotic animal show. It had passed happily from generation to generation before finally passing away in her father's care. Unable to part ways with it, Kitty had had it taxidermied and chose to keep it by her side 24/7. Kakyoin remembered coming upon it by surprise many years ago in the bathtub of her new house. He had never lived down the shock. He rubbed his neck absentmindedly, staring into its tiny beaded eyes.

"He woke up out of anesthesia and said some pretty weird things," he finally said.

"Anesthesia, smanesthesia. Everybody says weird shit when they come out of it. Trust me, I would know. I use that shit recreationally. But see here, hun. If he had said that he was a sparkly pink dolphin, would you have believed it?"

"That's exactly what he said!"

"So you get the point," she rolled the tip of her tongue around the martini glass and watched her dogs. There was a new expression on her face, a thoughtfulness mixed with pity that she was trying to hide. "But...if you think it's true, then I'm inclined to believe you, I guess. You know him better than I do anyway. So. Who's the fella that he cheated on you with anyway?"

"Not a fella. A lady."

Kitty spat her martini out and stared at him in shock. "Fuck, man!"

"That's exactly what he didn't do!"

"You know what I mean! Jesus, Tenmei. Well, I mean, look, at least he didn't get her pregnant, right? Haha...right?" The look on his face told her all that she needed to know and she dropped her arms in surrender. She quickly dug around in her bra, retrieved a pack of cigarettes, and smoked one down in a single puff. "Do you want me to kill him?" She said, her eyes going dark. "I know a guy who knows a guy who can do it."

"No, Kitty." He said quickly, knowing damn well that she was being serious. He took the cigarette from her and held it indecisively before him. "Jotaro and I have a kid, remember?"

"Two of them, apparently," she ignored his surprised hacking and dug around in her bra again. She pulled out a crumpled twenty-dollar bill, a tube of mascara, a bunch of receipts, a phone charger, a set of car keys, two bottles of pepper spray, a pair of brass knuckles, a broken spork, several nuclear codes, and a map of Calcutta before finding what she was looking for. "I know what you need, honey. You need to stop being Kakyoin for a while. Kakyoin's been through enough, he's seen too much and now this...you're too far deep in insanity territory, you need a break. I saw that video of you laughing. Went viral, didn't it? All my girls loved it but me...I knew as soon as I saw it that it would drive you mad. Here," she held out her palm, in the middle of which sat a tiny white pill.

"What is that," he asked suspiciously, leaning away.

"It's what's gonna help you stop being Kakyoin for the next few hours."

"Thanks, Kitty, but I don't think-"

"Don't think, daddy. Do."

He looked down at it, and then up into her frowning face. Again, the image of Jotaro in the bedroom of some unnamed woman crossed his mind, followed closely by his viral video. God, he hated pills. But he hated even more the reality that he had suddenly found himself in. What the hell, he thought, taking it from her. He popped it in his mouth, grabbed the martini, and chased the pill down with several swallows of lukewarm vodka.

"At ease, Captain," Kitty said in a somber voice. He put his hand to his head and gave her a questioning look.

"So now what's going to happen?"

"What's going to happen is I'm gonna put this martini down and go see about a man on top of a STOP sign. You are going to go inside and meet one of my new lady friends. She's a cool kid, been coming here with her band and stirring things up for all of my guests. A little blooming punk rock star, calls herself Half Pint. But don't be deceived. She may be small, but that girl packs one hell of a punch. Just ask the guy who tried to grab her ass the other night. I want your appraisal, Tenny," she said, standing up and adjusting the python around her neck. "You've always had a head for numbers and whatnot. I want you to let me know if you think she'd be a good investment. Lord knows this old hag's got more than enough mula-ski to throw around. Dig it?"

"You're just trying to keep me busy and distracted."

"I'm just trying to keep a solid head on my best friend's shoulders, babe. Forget about this Jojo business. I have a feeling things might just turn out okay." She burped and quickly covered her mouth. "Ooop! Maybe that feeling's just the vodka trying to come back up. Down the stairs, to the left, conference room. I'll see you in a minute, homeboy. BENTLEY! MERCEDES! LAMBO! Higher! Get 'em in the almond sack!"

X

Kakyoin had been waiting in the empty conference room for quite a while. He was beginning to feel the effects of whatever Kitty had given him. It was a nice feeling: gentle and subtle, but strong enough to shift his perspective. It was a relief, not having to feel like Kakyoin anymore. He felt as if all of the drama and confusion and craziness of the past few days had been shed away at the door, like the skin of the python that graced Kitty's shoulders. One of Kitty's dancers had brought Kakyoin a cocktail with a gracious helping of cherries floating at the bottom. He had devoured all but one, which he now rolled along his tongue as he stared at the whiteboard next to the table. In his new state of mind, he was beginning to think that maybe he had been wrong about the whole Jotaro thing. His thought process was now this: Jotaro could be an asshole from time to time but he was an asshole with a strong moral compass. And that's why Kakyoin loved him. Plus, Jotaro was an awful communicator. He often said and did things that confused the hell out of Kakyoin, but never with malicious intent. For all he knew, Jotaro could have been kidding about the whole daughter thing. It wouldn't be the first time that Kakyoin misinterpreted Jotaro's exceedingly dry humor.

The door creaked open but he barely noticed. He was too busy wrangling the cherry on his tongue and thinking pleasing, self-soothing thoughts. The young woman stood in the doorway for a moment, simply staring at him in surprise. Then his eyes found her and he gasped.

"No way! Anne! Is it really you-"

The woman launched herself at him with a scream. He barely had time to process what was happening before she wrung her arm around his neck and pulled him to the floor. He landed on his stomach with a pained 'oof' and she quickly straddled his back.

"WHAT THE-"

"It's you again!" She grabbed his head with both hands and ground his nose into the floor. "You may have escaped last time but I got you now, sucker! You better believe I'm gonna kick your ass until it's dust!"

"Anne, what in the world are you-"

She lifted his head by tuftfulls of hair and then slammed it back down, over and over again. "What are you doing here?!" She demanded in a high-pitched voice. "Come to get your revenge?! Well, you're out of luck, buster! I'm all grown up now and you don't frighten me anymore! DIE, jerk, DIE!"

Every word was punctuated by her shoving his head to the ground. He grit his teeth, closed one eye, and summoned Hierophant Green. The young woman's body was lifted from his back and suspended in the air a few feet away. He stood up slowly and then brushed the wrinkles out of his shirt, all the while eyeing her with contempt.

"I'm happy to see you, too," he said sarcastically as he pulled a comb out of his pocket and brushed his hair out of his face. "Next time don't bother messing up the hair. I just got it dyed, you know."

"An enemy with a fashion sense? Please, don't waste my time with your stupid little lies." She squirmed in Hierophant's hold but otherwise remained locked in place. He walked up to her, observing her with curiosity. She was older now, for sure, but the baby fat hadn't yet begun to melt from her cheeks and he recognized her all the same. This was Anne: the snarky runaway that he had encountered during the crusade. Aside from her sharp black leather suit and short haircut she still looked quite the same. He'd recognize that fiery glint in her eyes anywhere.

"What in the world made you think that it'd be a good idea to attack me, kid?"

She glared, clenched her fists. Hierophant's tentacles were wrapped tight around her wrists. "Cuz you're the bad guy, dummy, that's why."

"What makes you think that?!"

"Cuz last time I saw you, you ate a beetle. And then you did that weird cherry thing with your mouth. And then you pushed Jotaro off a balcony and your face melted."

"Huh." He hadn't been there for that part of the journey. He had been back at the hotel pool, sunbathing in his school uniform. He had only heard about Yellow Temperance taking on his form after the fact. He suddenly chuckled. She must've thought that he was Yellow Temperance, come back to haunt her.

"Really now, Anne. You think I'm the bad guy? If I was, surely I wouldn't have been sitting around in a conference room juggling cherries on my tongue. If I was really evil, I would have attacked you first."

"How do I know that you won't, tough guy?"

Kakyoin looked up at the clock, then back down at her with a warm smile. "Well. I must be the worst evil Stand user in the world for leaving you alive this long. Here, look." Hierophant disappeared and she fell to the ground on all fours. He opened his arms out wide and cast her a dashing smile. "Well. I'm vulnerable. Go on, give me all you got."

She watched him suspiciously, panting lightly. A guitar pick was strung on a frayed cord around her neck. So this was the bandleader that Kitty was talking about, he thought to himself. Of course, it just had to have been Anne. This thought was so funny that he laughed again. The pill really was working wonders. She rubbed her neck thoughtfully, gazing at him.

"Are you really the real Kakyoin?"

"Plain as can be!"

"Prove it. What happened in Singapore?"

"Well, we put you on a plane back to Hong Kong where your father lived. If I remember correctly, Mr. Joestar told you about our plight to save Holly, Jotaro's mom. You cheered us on before boarding the plane," he laughed again. "I saw you watching Jotaro out the window. You had a lovesick look on your face that I'd never forget."

She blushed deeply at this and looked away. "Yeah, yeah, you're right. Only the real Kakyoin would know that, I guess. Well...come here, then!" She opened her arms and pulled him into a tight hug. She smelled heavily of sweat. He realized that she must have just gotten back from performing on stage.

"What're you doing here, anyway?" She said, looking up at him from beneath the folds of his coat.

"I'm close friends with the woman who owns this club. Just decided I'd pay her a visit, that's all. Lucky chance that I ran into you here."

"How's Mr. Joestar? And Polnareff? And Avdol? And…" she blushed again and looked away, whispering the name, "Jotaro?"

Kakyoin chuckled again. He was correct in assuming that she still had a wicked crush on his now-husband. If only she knew… "They're all fine," he said carefully. He wasn't sure why he felt the need to lie about Avdol. The timing wasn't right and for one selfish moment, he wanted to pretend that Avdol was still alive.

"Is Jotaro…" she started and then tried again. "I mean is he...you know...still single?

"Well, about that…"

Right at that moment, the door to the conference room burst open. A young woman in a similar black suit tumbled in, bringing with her the sound of the party downstairs.

"I've just received word that the bird has flown the coop! I repeat: the bird has flown the coop! Can we go do the raid now?" She stopped and looked at Kakyoin with wide eyes. "Hey, I know you! You're that dude from the-"

"Can it, kid," he said quickly.

"Oooh, Anne, can I kick his ass?" She whined. Anne frowned deeply and shook her head.

"Already beat you to it, Alice. And besides. What did I tell you about busting into rooms and announcing our missions? He could have been an undercover agent, you know!"

"Sorry!" The girl said with a sloppy salute. "I just thought you'd want to know that the house that we were planning on robbing is now emp-"

"GET OUT!" Anne grabbed the girl by her shoulders and ushered her out of the room. She and Kakyoin stood for a while in awkward silence before Kakyoin crossed his arms and leaned against the wall.

"Burglary, Anne? Really?" He said, peering at her with a smirk on his lips and narrowed eyes. "And here I thought you'd grow up and stay out of trouble."

"What's it to you what I do," she asked heatedly, still facing the door. "I'm doing the world a favor."

"Oh yeah? And how's that?"

"Because!" She said, swinging around. "I run a highly important operation. Ever heard of Punch Like a Girl? It's a club I built myself to teach girls how to fight and take back what the world took from them. Yeah, so, we go around robbing the houses of rich, no-good punks. But we redistribute the wealth to charities and fighting clubs like the one I own. Don't bother asking me why, the answer is simple. There's a glaring wage gap in this rigged economy! The richer get richer off of the pennies scraped up by families who can barely get by! And I'm sick of it! We are the 99% and we will loot, burn, and burgle until everyone stands on fair ground! Viva la finance-so-lution! Down with financial discrepancies! Down with the 1%!"

Anne had become quite animated during her speech. She was sweating terribly as she pumped her tiny fists in the air. Kakyoin was moved, he really was. But not enough to tell her that he was, actually, insanely rich.

"Hey, hey, calm down, will you? No need to get upset, alright?" He said, reaching out to put his hands on her shoulders. She glared at him and wriggled away. "I respect that a lot, actually. I really do!"

"You...you do?" She said sweetly before her eyes went hard again. "And don't tell me to calm down. I'll take you down again, buster."

"No need," he said quickly, shaking his head. A rather wicked idea was starting to form in his admittedly addled mind. "Is this...organization...only open to girls or can a man join as well?"

"Not just any man, per se," she said slowly. "He'd have to be cool. And willing to work hard. And maybe handsome." Suddenly she perked up. "Why? Do you want to join?"

"Well, let's see. Cool, willing to work hard, handsome," he ticked the reasons off on his fingers. "I got two of the three qualities that you guys...or shall I say gals...are looking for."

"I don't know," she said, tugging indecisively at her ear. "I'm still not one hundred percent convinced that you're not, you know, made of weird yellow goo."

"What if I told you I know of a place that would be highly beneficial for your crew to rob? I'm talking thousands of dollars worth of luxury items just laying around for the taking."

Her hand froze. "But you...you're so...perfect." It wasn't a compliment. It was an accusation. "Jotaro's moresoe the type who would rob a house. Or maybe that weird French guy, Polnareff. But not you. How do you know about this place, anyway?"

"I'm a real estate agent," Kakyoin said quickly, putting a gracious hand to his chest. It was a bald-faced lie that she wouldn't know to question. "One of my clients owns a house in Nob Hill. He moved in and started renovating the place immediately. Thing is...he disappeared on me a couple of weeks ago and hasn't been back since. I would be worried for him except..." his eyes slid away momentarily and a dark cloud passed over his face. "He's a bit of a jerk. You know, they type with a punchable face"

"Oh," Anne said with a nod, her interest piqued. "I do know the type. That's the kinda guy that my team robs."

"Exactly! I still have his key and everything. If we go now, I'm sure that we could get our hands on a couple of his more expensive watches. I heard that he's a big fan of Tag Heure. Trust me, Anne, this is not an opportunity that you want to miss out on."

"You're saying you want to go with me? Nuh-uh, that's not how this works. You give me the information, I go with one of my girls, and you get a teensy itty bitty share of the reward. Got it?"

Kakyoin tsked and pulled a key out of his pocket. He began to spin it around lazily and her eyes widened at the sight of it. "Not so fast, little lady. We do this on my terms or no key. Deal?"

She thought for a moment, tugged at her ear some more, and then nodded. "Okay. When do we go?"

He grinned, his violet eyes flashing mischievously at her. "Right now. I'll call the cab."

X

Anne had never particularly liked Kakyoin. Seeing him eat a beetle and then watching his face erupt into yellow goo had traumatized her. Even now, years later, she often woke with a fright having seen his eyes roll back in his head and his tongue loll about in her dreams.

But not only that. Kakyoin had always struck her as odd. Pristine. Too perfect. Like an old, polished vase at the top of a shelf, he had given her 'too good to be touched' vibes during the crusade. With his thin waist, freshly ironed uniform, and obsession with his perfect hair he could have easily fit in with the popular kids at her old school, the same ones who had made fun of her height and would have gotten beaten to shit if only she had had more friends. But she hadn't, not back then. Anne had always been a troublemaking outcast. Which was why she despised merry do-gooders like Kakyoin and preferred up-front bad boys like Jotaro.

But on the note of Jotaro…

If she were honest with herself, he was the final and most pressing reason why she didn't like Kakyoin. He and Jotaro had been inseparable during the journey, so much so that she had wondered if maybe they were related. There was simply no other reason (in her mind) as to why they seemed to gravitate toward each other like celestial bodies in a slow, easy orbit. They didn't have anything in common as far as Anne could tell. And she had observed them like a hawk. Jotaro had 'drip'. He smoked cigarettes, sipped cocktails, and knew how to be abrasive with his speech. But Kakyoin was nothing like this. He never smoked, barely drank during their journey, chewed with his mouth closed, and tended to go on and on and on and on with his neat, enunciated English about 'being a student' and other hoity-toity weird shit that was not amusing to her in the slightest. Sometimes, she wanted to punch him. She almost had, in fact.

It had happened when they were waiting around in a hotel lobby, so many years ago. Kakyoin had been sitting in a lounge chair, running his finger along a dog-eared book while they waited to be checked into their rooms. The funny French guy, Polnareff, had been bored enough to ask what he was reading.

"It's a book of poetry by William B. Yeats," Kakyoin had responded. Polnareff had yawned.

"Sounds boring to me."

Kakyoin had given a gentle laugh. "Maybe. But I'm trying to stay up to date on my schoolwork. If what I'm thinking is correct, my English class should be on chapter seven of his collected works. It's important that I maintain my status as a student, you know, even though we-"

Anne hadn't been able to take it anymore. "Will you shut up about being a student, already?" She had demanded. "It's always 'student' this and 'student' that with you! Some of us are trying to enjoy our youth, you know!"

For some reason, Jotaro, who had been sitting next to Kakyoin at the time, had found this extraordinarily funny. "Yakamashi. Urusai, Kakyoin," he had said with a giggle.

She didn't know what the hell yakamashi or urusai had meant but whatever it was, Kakyoin hadn't liked it. His violet eyes had slid over to Jotaro and in the same second the water bottle in Jotaro's hand had exploded.

That night she had retreated to her hotel room with a guilty sense of satisfaction in knowing that she had caused a rift between the two men. But she was wrong. Their hotel room had been directly next to hers. She had heard them talking late into the night, easily past two in the morning. They had been speaking quietly in their native tongue, their voices low and at ease. Kakyoin had laughed a lot and she had wondered just what it was that the two men shared to make them talk like that for so long.

Now, years later, she had encountered Kakyoin again, in a strip club of all places! But something had changed. There was still that air about him, like he was perfect and untouchable. But there was also something slightly unhinged. She couldn't put her finger on it. Mentally, it was like he was somewhere else completely.

"Like a house with too many lights on," is how her father would have described Kakyoin. She had watched him in the rearview mirror of the taxi, scrunched over his seat with his leg propped up behind the passenger seat, one hand braced against his forehead and the other resting in his lap. His eyes had been closed and his jaw had been clenched tight as if he had been thinking about something that upset him. But what, though?

The taxi cab had stopped at the end of the street as per his instructions. He had told her to go through the front while he went around the back, just to make sure everything was clear. She hunched her narrow shoulders beneath her jacket and braced herself against the whistling wind. The house that they were to rob sat atop of a hill, cut off from the rest of the street by a black iron gate and commanding a pretty impressive view of the ocean below. She recognized it as a Japanese style of some sort.

There was something weird about the whole scenario, she reflected as she walked up to the house. But there were a lot of weird things that had fallen into place, the main thing being that good ol' holier-than-thou Kakyoin had actually agreed to rob a house with her. Maybe he had 'come around,' as her father would have also put it, now that he was older. Or maybe Kitty Galore had given him something. She found the latter to be more likely judging by his odd demeanor in the car. Kitty had a habit of making it rain Norco in her club like it was a Halloween treat.

Anne peeked through the darkened windows of the house, still thinking. If that were the case, then what the hell would make Kakyoin do drugs? And for that matter, what had he been doing in Kitty's strip club? Something must have happened to make him act so recklessly that night.

She inserted the key, pushed the door open. The house was drafty and dark. She could barely make out the inside as she closed the door behind her. There was a clock ticking from somewhere within but otherwise, all was silent, and still. She turned her phone's flashlight on and tiptoed across the cold wooden floors. She wasn't used to houses of this design. Each room was separated with paper panels which she pushed open quietly. Most of the furniture was situated at floor level, with a grounded bed in one room and a pile of straw mats stacked haphazardly in another. There was a tea set spread out across the floor of one room. The kettle was still full along with the small, ceramic bottles surrounding it. A bottle of sake sat half-empty in the middle. The owner of the house must have left in quite a hurry.

She wandered into the maze of outdoor hallways decorated with fountains and potted plants until she found herself back inside again. Her explorations brought her to another room, this one larger and filled with moving boxes. She brushed her hands against the walls for stability until she came across a large coat hanging on the wall. It was of good quality and quite expensive, judging by its weight. She pulled it over her shoulders and held the collar up to her nose. It smelled good, like it belonged to a man with fine taste in cologne. Her flashlight shined across the neat, inky handwriting on the boxes. Dishes, clothes, Jace's Toys, Watches. This last box piqued her interest. She bent down, flipped the top aside, and gasped. Inside were several neat rows of luxury watches. She picked several up and slipped them over her thin wrist. Tag Heuers, Rolexes, Breitlings, Patek Phillips. The cheapest one could fetch her four thousand at any of the many pawnshops in the city.

"Jesus, I've hit the motherload," she said out loud to herself as she gave her wrist a gleeful shake. The watches jingled beautifully. "But why would the owner of the house just leave all these expensive watches just lying around?"

"My guess is that they weren't expecting anybody to drop by. And by they, I mean me," a sudden voice said from behind her. There was a sigh and a creak as whomever it was stood up and began to walk towards her. "So. You somehow got your hands on my key and thought you'd go rooting around in my belongings for something to steal. Gotta say, whoever you are, your efforts are impressive. Just for that, I'm going to give you two point five seconds to enjoy your little fashion show before I beat you to smithereens. And don't even think about getting sweat on my jacket."

Anne clenched her teeth. The voice sounded familiar, but she couldn't place where, exactly, she had heard it before. So this is a setup, she thought to herself as sweat dripped down the side of her face, I should have known that rat bastard Kakyoin would sell me out!

"What, you think if you stand still I won't be able to see you?" The voice was getting closer now as the person behind her took slow, easy strides towards her. "It's too late for that. Whoever you are, you may be short but I can see you just fine. Even if it is dark in here."

She took a deep breath in, counted to three, and then spun around. She launched herself at the dark figure with a war cry and wrung her arms around his neck.

"DIE, YOU FBI AGENT MOTHERFUCKER!" She screamed as she clambered around the person's back and threw her weight back. But something was wrong. The person wasn't going down as easily as she had hoped. She laced her fingers along his neck and pulled backward again, but the man remained standing still.

"I said die, you FBI…agent...mother…" she was panting now, struggling to catch her breath between every word. Her legs were still wrapped around the person's lower back. Quite against herself, she gave a final huff and dropped her head against his shoulder. Then she breathed in deep. And then breathed in again. And again.

"Hey, wait a minute. I know that cologne." She sniffed the person's neck and they cringed. "Wait a minute, are you…"

The man suddenly reached back, grabbed her beneath the armpits, and swung her over his head. They were face to face as he held her aloft. She shined her phone light in his face and he looked away, but not before she could see the bright blue eyes and stormy countenance of the one and only-

"JOOOOOTARRRROOOO!" She squealed and wrapped her arms around his broad neck again.

"Oh my god," she continued to squeal as she kicked her feet back and forth in excitement. "It really is you, isn't it? After all these years?! I missed you so much! How's it going?! Did you miss me? Did ya? Did ya? Did ya?!" She pursed her lips and gave him a big, wet kiss on his cheek. "Why aren't you saying anything? Did you forget all about me?!"

Jotaro was still cringing. He closed one eye and held her at an arm's length lest she tried to give him another kiss. Then he turned to look her full in the face. Seeing him all grown up was so weird to her. For the most part, he looked the same. There was the messy crop of black hair, the gold stud earrings, the signature scowl. But he had developed a bit of a tan over the years and there were a few wrinkles etched along his eyes that hadn't been there years ago. He looked exactly like the sort of man who modeled barrel-aged whiskey in the television commercials. She didn't know whether or not he had a kid, but either way, she was inclined to think of him as a DILF. She blushed heavily at the thought and his face took on a look of surprise.

"Hold on," he said, "I'd recognize that awkward little blush anywhere. Half-pint?"

"It's me!" She proclaimed loudly, throwing her tiny arms in the air. He pulled her into a swift hug and then set her down. He was so tall that she had to stumble back and crane her head to get a good look at his smiling face.

"I had a feeling that you'd show up again," he said as he ruffled her hair. "You got a habit of popping up at the most random times, kid."

"What can I say? I can't stay away. How's your mom? Were you guys able to save her? I remember last time I saw you, Mr. Joestar said she was sick."

He closed his eyes and revealed a loving smile at the thought of his mother. "She's fine. She'd love to meet you. Told her all about you."

"Y-you did?" She said, feeling the blush creep into her cheeks again. So he hadn't forgotten about her. This put a funny feeling in her stomach as she looked up at him again. God, he had aged like fine wine. But she was older now, too, and no longer afraid to shoot her shot. She had always been sweet on Jotaro. He was like a Japanese Clint Eastwood, Hollywood-cute and Greaser bad. The type that her daddy had always warned her against. She began to tug at her ear as she thought of ways to ask if he wanted to come to one of her shows. But his face had changed. He was looking down at her, curiously now.

"Not to say I'm not happy to see you, kid, but...how the hell did you get into my house?"

"Huh?" She said, snapping back into reality. "Uh...Kakyoin-"

"Kakyoin!?" He said.

"Kakyoin-"

"KAKYOIN!" The lights flared on and simultaneously the door panel behind them slammed open. Kakyoin stood framed in the light, his arms spread out with a wild grin on his face. Jotaro turned towards him in surprise.

"Kakyoin!" He exclaimed. She gasped and pointed.

"Kakyoin!"

"Kakyoin," Kakyoin said again, before putting his hand to his chest and giving another chuckle. "It's me! Now that we all know my name-"

"What the hell are you doing here," Jotaro growled.

"My thoughts exactly," she said before folding her arms. Then she unfolded them again and looked at Jotaro. "W-wait," she said, her head whipping back and forth between them. "Jotaro's your client?!"

"Client?" Jotaro said in some confusion before looking over at the red-haired man. "Good grief, I'm your client now?"

"You've been demoted," Kakyoin said, his hands in his pockets as he walked towards them. The two men were sharing a look that she didn't quite understand. It wasn't quite friendly but it wasn't exactly unfamiliar, either. What the hell had transpired between them? Kakyoin stopped right in front of her and gave her a polite bow.

"Anne, I'm sorry, but I'm afraid I've been a bit dishonest with you. Jotaro and I own this house. I knew he'd be here and I thought it'd be funny if you came upon him by surprise."

"Ha ha ha, very funny," she said dryly. But she was still confused. She found the fact that Jotaro and Kakyoin owned a house together very odd. Maybe they were still really good friends and had decided to become roommates?

But it didn't matter. She had made up her mind about asking Jotaro out and wanted to do it sooner rather than later. After all, she did have a show coming up later on that night.

"Uh...Jojo…" she started, twirling her hair around her finger. "There's something I want to ask you…"

He put his hand up to silence her. He was still staring at Kakyoin, who by that time was wearing a smile on his face that didn't exactly reach his eyes. She had that feeling again, that Kakyoin was a house with too many lights on and he was thinking about something far away from the matter at hand.

"Good grief, are you high?" Jotaro asked him.

"What's it matter to you? Shouldn't you be busy worrying about your mysterious daughter?"

Now that was really weird. She looked up at Jotaro and then back at Kakyoin again. She had no idea what was going on. Did Jotaro have a kid? And if so, why the heck did Kakyoin seem so bitter about it? Jotaro dropped his hand, sighed deeply.

"I knew I shouldn't have let you run out in the rain like that. Let me guess. You ended up at that Kitty Galore's place, didn't you? That stupid bitch…"

"Uh, Jo…" Anne started but she was cut off by Kakyoin.

"Watch your mouth, Jojo. Kitty's a good friend of mine," he said. "Besides, what else was I supposed to do? Just wander around until I ended back up here, with you and all of your lies? I had to get my mind off of everything somehow."

"So you decided that popping pills with a washed-out stripper was a good idea?" Jotaro's voice had become dangerously stormy but he seemed to catch himself quickly. He looked away, thought about something, and then looked back at Kakyoin. "So I guess it's my fault, isn't it? I should have told you earlier."

Kakyoin jumped. His eyes widened and he took a hurried step back. "So it's true?" He said in a strained voice. Anne's head was whipping back and forth so fast that she could have generated a tornado. She wished she could have had a bucket of popcorn to go along with this mysterious drama.

"Guys…?" she tried timidly and was promptly ignored again. Jotaro stuffed his hands in his pockets and began to walk towards Kakyoin.

"I'll tell you what's true, Tenmei: I care about you and I'd never do anything to hurt you. Got that? I never want to see you run away from me again. I don't want to see you like this, losing your damn head to speculations and driving yourself crazy in strip clubs around the city. That ring on your finger was supposed to make things easier, not harder. You get where I'm coming from?"

Kakyoin's face had softened. Jotaro stopped right in front of him and allowed Kakyoin to place his hands on his shoulders. Anne watched all of this in surprise.

Maybe they were really, really good friends?

"That question that I asked you in the car," Kakyoin said. "The one you wouldn't give me a straight answer to. Jotaro. I hear what you're saying but I still need you to give me a response. Even if it's not true, I gotta hear you say it."

"Don't be ridiculous," Jotaro said with a dark snicker. "The answer is 'no.' Always has been, always will be."

Kakyoin jumped up and wrapped his legs around Jotaro's waist. Jotaro caught him and pulled him in close.

Okay...Anne thought.

Maybe they were...really, really, really good friends?

"You know I love you, right?" Jotaro asked as he began to carry him away.

"I'll admit. You make it easy to forget sometimes."

"You askin' me to prove it?"

"That would imply that I was being polite about the matter."

"Alright, Mister Tough Guy."

Jotaro carried Kakyoin into the room and kicked the door shut behind them. And Anne was left standing there thinking.

Jotaro and Kakyoin weren't just really, really, really, really good friends.

They were-

"Oh," she said slowly, fanning herself. She should have known. Their relationship during the crusade suddenly made that much more sense. She remembered a conversation that she had heard between Mr. Joestar, Avdol, and Polnareff years ago. They had been walking along the street, with Jotaro and Kakyoin taking the lead a few paces ahead.

"Those two have grown really close," Avdol had noted. "Odd, considering how they first met."

"Inseparable," Mr. Joestar had responded. "Attached at the hip, as my mom would say. Do you think maybe…" the two men had glanced at her, looked at each other, and looked away.

"What?!" She had demanded, woefully oblivious to what they had been on the verge of implying. "Do you think that they're what?!"

"Ah...wouldn't want to break your heart, little lady," Avdol had responded in kind. Polnareff had suddenly laughed, making them all jump.

"Were you about to ask what I think you were gonna ask?!" He had wheezed. "You already answered your own question! Attached at the hip in more ways than one, if you ask me!"

"That's the thing. Nobody asked you, Polnareff," Mr. Joestar had snapped back before burying his head in his hands with a sigh. "Who in the hell made you so vulgar?"

Now, years later, standing in a Japanese-inspired house on a cliff above the Pacific Ocean, she had finally figured out what Polnareff meant.

She was still wearing the jacket that she had found hanging from the wall. She sighed, fished around in the pockets until she found a packet of cigarettes, and lit one. She was going to walk out of the door - jacket, cigarettes, and all - when she suddenly remembered the watches in the cardboard box. She reached in, retrieved the most expensive-looking one, and slid it inside her pocket. She'd take it as a little souvenir of her reconnaissance with the two men. Not that they would notice anytime soon, she thought as she walked out the door, lit cigarette in hand.

They seemed a bit preoccupied anyway.

X

Jotaro: Cheating's not in my blood.

Joseph: *moves out of frame*

This is not the end of Aurora Borealis St. Whodunnit the Third, aka Saint Johnson et Johnson of the Queen But Heretofore Known As Your Eternal Demise. He shall be back. But right now, I feel like writing another comedy chapter. Like Jotaro takes on a job at Freddy Fazbears at Holly's insistence, if that idea hasn't been taken already….or a crossover with the Attack on Titan universe because I want Kakyoin to rock that ODM gear like the badass that he is or a one-shot fluffy chapter with Jotaro just being a great dad to Jace. The opportunities are endless, I tell you, endless!