Thanks so much to Alice Ann-Wonderland ("Baddest bitch in Hyrule," I like that! XD), NerdAngel410 (Thank you so much! The Yiga really didn't think things through when they decided to go to Mount Lanayru XD), Guest, and MexicAmerichick6 (We'll just have to see! :) for reviewing! I hope you all continue to enjoy!
With that, on with the chapter!
~ Chapter 20 ~
Link stared at the screen of the Sheikah slate, unblinking as the device's front-facing camera took in his own image and displayed it back to him. It was the first time he had really bothered to check his own appearance since before the Yiga had gotten ahold of him. Not that he had ever put a significant amount of thought into his looks (Zelda had often admonished him for looking "literally feral" whenever he let his hair get too out of control), but he had still begun to wonder what he had ended up looking like after all of this recent suffering and strife.
In short, he looked awful.
His long, honey-blond hair, which Zelda had been meticulously brushing when she had been by his bedside every day, now hung tangled and matted about his shoulders, all but plastered to his skin with the sweat that practically drenched him due to the Malice's heat. The dark rings around his eyes reached nearly to his cheekbones, which were also particularly accentuated thanks to the new gauntness of his face. He was unusually pale, too, having been kept in darkness and then bedridden for so long.
And then there were the scars.
True, even before his capture, he had been no stranger to wounds bad enough to scar. His body was a veritable collection of them, ranging from lynel claw slashes on his side to a jagged cut across his forehead from the time he had fallen out of a tree and scraped a sharp branch on the way down. Not to mention the sprawling burn scar on his back that had come from a Guardian's laser one hundred years ago.
Link's new scars, however, somehow carried more weight. The pinprick marks where the Malice had been forced into his bloodstream. The Yiga eye carved into his chest, almost as a taunt, to show that that damned clan had finally gotten the best of him for once. The Malice burns stretching from just beneath his eyes down to his jawline, resembling six wide tear streaks down his face. It was practically poetic, in some sickening way.
"You know, all things considered, the scarring could be worse," Purah was rambling from where she stood beside him, wringing her hands and bouncing on her heels with nervous energy. "Malice burns like hell, sure, but it actually does take a while to fully corrode organic material! We got the Malice off of you, we cleaned the wounds, we took care of them best we could...you'll probably always have those marks there, admittedly, but they'll still fade a decent amount!"
Link didn't bother speaking. He knew that the Sheikah scientist was more so continuing to babble for her own benefit rather than his. She hid it well, but it was clear that everything that had just happened had left her somewhat shaken. Her scarlet eyes flitted back and forth behind her glasses and she kept subconsciously adjusting her sleeves while she talked.
Which was she more worried about, he wondered? His injuries and sickness, or the fact that it was possible that, should Zelda's connection with him break again, he could be completely possessed by Malice?
He wasn't sure about Purah, but he was personally more concerned with the latter. His eyes flicked over to Riju, still lying exhausted up against the wall. If he was taken over again, who would he attack? Who would he injure this time?
Who would he potentially kill?
He shuddered and shook his head to clear it, turning off the Sheikah Slate's camera and lowering the device to his lap. If he voiced any of those thoughts aloud, he knew everyone else would tell him not to blame himself, to not let himself fall into a cycle of brooding and agonizing over his possessed self's actions.
Logically, Link understood their sentiments, to some extent. If Malice was controlling him, anything it forced him to do obviously wasn't his fault. But it was one thing to say such things, and another to know that it was his own hands that had very nearly snuffed out the life of one of his close friends.
If the Malice ever succeeded in forcing him to murder someone, he didn't know if he could ever forgive himself for not being strong enough to resist.
"Hey," Purah cut into his thoughts, nudging his arm lightly. "Linky? You doing okay?"
Link lowered his head with a heavy sigh. "...not really," he admitted quietly.
Purah's eyebrows lifted, and he couldn't blame her for being surprised. Him opening up, even that miniscule amount, to anyone aside from Zelda was rare. It wasn't that he didn't trust anyone else, of course. His status as a hero had simply dictated that he was to be strong, stoic, and silent, always there for people to rely on and never daring to rely on others. That was how he had always interpreted it, anyway.
Maybe now, however, that didn't have to be the case.
The Sheikah woman heaved a sigh and sat down on the table beside him, patting his shoulder lightly. "Alright, kid," she told him. "Tell Auntie Purah what's on your mind."
He shot her a dull look.
"What?" she snapped. "I'm trying to be empathetic here! Just...talk to me, okay? Zee's not here, so...you'll just have to settle for me."
Link couldn't help but give a small smile, though his face stung, even at the slight movement. "Alright…" he said softly, moving his lips as little as possible. He released a long sigh and lifted his head to look at the ceiling, allowing his dampened bangs to fall across his eyes.
"...it's just...a lot," he finally said, a bit lamely. "I mean...so much has been happening lately. I thought, after we got rid of Ganon, that things could calm down, but...they haven't. And maybe that was naive? The Yiga Clan didn't go away, the Malice didn't completely go away...and now I'm paying the price for letting my guard down."
"Snap, there it is," Purah groaned, eyes rolling behind her lenses. "That whole, 'I let my guard down, I'm to blame, I deserve all these bad things happening to me because I messed up.' For the love of Hylia, Linky, not everything needs to rest on your shoulders! We all let our guards down. And you going down to the beach one time without a weapon does not mean you deserved to be captured and tortured! Honestly, you and Zelda both need to stop beating yourselves up over things you can't control!"
Link could only stare at her, mouth slightly agape as she scolded him. If there was one thing Purah was an expert at, it was getting straight to the point and cutting deep in the process.
"Do you even realize that Zee blames herself for the exact same things you blame yourself for? What am I saying, of course you do - and you probably tell her off for it, don't you? Does the hypocrisy escape you, Linky? Or are you fully aware that you two dorks never take your own advice?"
"I...I-I don't…"
"And another thing! Do either of you realize that you're the only ones who actually put any blame on you when these things happen? I'm not telling you all this just to listen to my own voice, you know! All of the people right here in this room are your friends. When something bad happens, we're here to support you, not accuse you of causing it! I mean...look at Riju! She could have died today, and yet she knows that it wasn't you who attacked her. She held that sword up to your face until she was literally seconds away from passing out because she didn't want that damned sludge to hurt you. I've seen you looking at those bruises on her neck and getting all broody over it, but she doesn't blame you, Link! You're the only one working yourself up, and it's obvious that it's just making you feel even worse! Goddess above...you and Zelda need to learn to give yourselves a break! Sure, sure, 'hero complex' and all that, but you're not perfect! Neither of you are! And you know what? We all still love you two all the same!"
The young knight blinked, mouth still slightly open. He tried to think of something, anything to say, but couldn't manage even a syllable. Purah's crimson gaze bored into him, daring him to argue with her.
He didn't.
"Link," she spoke again, her voice lower and more serious. "I mean it. I know you've got it in your head that you're supposed to be some...some perfect hero. You were like that one hundred years ago too. And I know it freaks you out, makes you want to close off and bear everything by yourself. You think you'll be a burden to us if you don't, right?"
He didn't answer, but then, he didn't really have to.
"Yeah. I know you do. But Link, I'm begging you - you've gotta let yourself rely on other people for a change. On Zelda, on Impa, on me, on any one of us. Because you know what? I can't directly speak for anyone else, but for me at least, watching you sit here and agonize about everything you think you could've done to prevent this is so much worse than if you would just talk to us about it. Seriously, it's painful to watch."
Link winced, the tips of his ears dropping a bit in embarrassment. "...I'm sorry," he whispered, averting his eyes from the scientist beside him. "I'm...not great with words...or emotions...or putting emotions into words…"
Purah's eyes rolled once more. "And why should that matter?" she asked with a scoff. "It's not a competition here! No one's gonna give you a score for expressing yourself, Linky, you just do it. And anyone who refuses to be patient with you through that isn't your friend. Luckily for you, you've got a lot of people who'd be more than willing to listen. Zelda might be your favorite, I get that, but she's not the only one available to hear you out. And hey - talking it over might help you get better at describing how you're feeling. That'd be helpful, right?"
"I...I guess so," he admitted. "It's just...unfamiliar. I think maybe I...get too caught up in what other people expect of me. And then I forget how to figure out what I'm actually feeling…"
"Well, from that, I'd say that you're starting to figure yourself out already," Purah pointed out with a smirk. "Listen, I know it's gonna take time. But snap, that's okay! You're reticent during the best of times, Linky, I'd never expect you to instantly spill your guts to me while all this Malice nonsense is happening. But I'm seriously suggesting that you work on it. Trust me, bottling up emotions can only take you so far. One day, that bottle's gonna get way too full, then the glass'll crack. And once the glass cracks, it won't be long 'til the entire bottle bursts, and then jagged, broken glass ends up everywhere, which can hurt both you and everyone else around you. We definitely don't want that happening, so please, empty out that bottle every now and then!"
Link blinked. "That's...a surprisingly good metaphor."
"Thanks! Just came up with it now." Purah slid off of the table and stood in front of him. She placed both hands on his shoulders and looked him in the eye, head tilted and eyebrows raised. "Just...keep what I've said in mind, okay? That's all I ask."
Her eyes flicked over to where Riju, Sidon, Paya, and Symin still rested, then back to Link. "And between you and me…" she whispered pointedly. "I think one of the first things you should do is talk to a certain little Gerudo girl once she wakes up. I guarantee, it'll help ease your mind a bit, okay?"
Truthfully, just the thought of speaking to Riju after what he had nearly done to her terrified him. How could he look into her eyes again after having seen them staring up at him in horror? How could he hold a conversation with her while the bruises on her neck glared back at him? How could he ever apologize for coming inches away from crushing her windpipe?
He envisioned a tiny crack spidering across a glass bottle.
Link closed his eyes and took several deep breaths. He must have done so for an embarrassingly long time, but when his eyes opened, Purah was still there in front of him, watching his face expectantly.
"Well?" she prompted. "What do you say?"
He took one final deep breath.
"...okay," he murmured finally. "I'll talk to her."