"Thank you."
The words came out of his mouth with the bite of a viper. Kylo's eyes pierced into his father's soul as the red crackle of his lightsaber illuminated them. Han stared back at the man, his eyes frantically searching for any inkling of his son still left inside. The pain of betrayal gripped at his heart, stinging worse than the hole that had been ripped through his chest just moments ago. The sounds of distant cries could be heard as their audience reacted to this turn of events, but neither Han nor Kylo could hear them. The two were locked in a deadly gaze as they both looked their last upon one another. Ren couldn't feel a thing, like his being was sentient without him as hatred and anger filled his eyes.
It felt like an eternity before Kylo ripped his lightsaber out of the body of his father, a gasp escaping Han as the corrupted blade found its way out. Han Solo felt the sting of tears in his eyes as he gazed at Kylo wishfully. Slowly, his hand raised to lay gently on the cheek of his son. He wished he could smile at the touch, wished Ben would accept this gesture, but Kylo held still as if Han wasn't even there. Losing himself, Han thought only of Leia and how he regretted spending so much time away from her. Maybe things could have been different if he hadn't. The false sense of hope Kylo had just instilled in him burned bitterly in his chest as he stared bewildered at the face of his son. Despite it being the same face, Ben wasn't there. Just as he predicted.
Slowly Han fell away, losing his sense of self as the world around him blurred. He couldn't stand anymore, and before he knew it, he was falling off the platform, just as fast as he was falling away from life. Kylo, who had been observing this seemingly unbothered, watched the body of his father slip away and fall. The farther Han moved out of sight, the more control Ren gained of his consciousness. Dread, pain, sorrow; all of this flooded his senses more and more with each passing second, his ears beginning to ring. He felt his breath hitch in his chest as he watched until he couldn't see Han anymore.
He couldn't help but wonder what the hell he had just done. Gulping the sting of tears and regret away, he looked up just in time to be blinded by the flash of a blaster. With a yelp of pain, Kylo was hit by Chewbacca's bowcaster. The violent weapon tore a hole in his side, causing him to collapse on his knees, his free hand flying to the wound. The pain seared and traveled through him, and his mind went to what his father must have felt just moments before. Quickly looking up, he managed to watch the scene before him. Blaster fire in every direction, even from above, as his stormtroopers and the three lone resistance members began attacking one another. His breaths were deep in his chest as he applied pressure onto his wound in an attempt to stop the bleeding.
Suddenly, Kylo Ren was blinded once more, but this time it wasn't from a blaster. Instead, a huge chain of explosions ran up the wall in front of him. Chewbacca had detonated the bombs he and Han had placed moments ago. The bridge he knelt on groaned and rocked at the blast, and his ears rang once more. Yet the ringing was somehow more violent this time. Finally, when the dust settled, he found himself eerily alone. The only sound he could hear now was the crackle of the fire the explosion had created, and the sparking of loose wires. A hole was bust through the wall and he could see the darkened sky above, no sunlight to be found.
Drawing in a deep breath and holding it, stifling a pained moan, Kylo pushed himself to his feet. Letting his held breath out and breathing deeply now, he extinguished his lightsaber, the blades retracting back into their hilt. Hooking the weapon back on his belt, he focused all his attention at pressing his clothing as tightly as he could to his wound. He needed to stop the bleeding before real damage was done, but he also needed to hurry. Trying to force his thoughts away from his wound, he attempted to focus on his next actions. He knew he had to get out of here and he had to find the girl. He had to leave, even though the back of his mind was still haunted at the image of his father slipping away.
After a few violent hits to his wound in an attempt to force his clothes to stay against it and disperse the stabbing pain, he was satisfied enough to keep moving. Huffing out a pained breath, he turned and started to move in the direction he was originally headed for. He needed to grab his ship to reach the girl and her friends in time.
"Ben."
A voice broke the silence and Kylo Ren froze exactly where he stood. It was an unfamiliar voice, yet comforting and known in an odd distant way. His eyes frantically searched the space in front of him for an answer though he knew the voice came from behind him. In an instinct of a decision, Kylo grabbed his lightsaber and whipped around, igniting it in the process. The crackling red glow filled his space as his eyes stared at where he had just come from.
There, on the bridge ahead of him, stood a blue translucent figure. It was of a man in his twenties with dark shaggy hair, a scar over his left eye, and Jedi robes draping over his broad frame. Clenching his lightsaber tightly with both hands, Kylo stared at it unknowingly and almost as if he were challenging it. The figure was unfamiliar to him, and he honestly had no idea what else to do except prepare for a fight. Was this supposed to be his punishment for murdering his father?
"Ben." The figure said again as it took a step forward. Despite this, the hollow sound of metal was not heard echoing through the chamber. This confirmed to Ren that this certainly wasn't a tangible being.
"Ben- is dead ." Kylo Ren hissed as he took his own step forward. Unlike this ghost, the sound of the step rang out clear as day. Simply hearing this being have the audacity to speak his name was enough to let anger rage in his chest.
"No…He is not... He's right in front of me." It retaliated as calmly as a peaceful day.
"I killed Ben Solo...I killed Han Solo...I-I'll kill you too-" Ren snapped, a wild look in his eyes. How dare this figure come in and tell him who he was. Kylo pushed his anger forward as he let it drive him, took power in it as best he could. However, his heart betrayed his mind as it ached with regret and longing.
"I think I would know my own grandson." The figure spoke softly. This caused Kylo's facade to falter as he felt his weight shift from his toes to his heels. His breath hitched as his eyes widened before suddenly it all returned to his persona.
"You are not Darth Vader-" Kylo barked back, the tip of his lightsaber suddenly pointing forward from outstretched arms as he threatened the man in front of him. His eyes stared over the crackling blade, watching the seemingly unfazed man with eyes like a hawk.
"No...no, I'm not…" the figure said, shaking his head a bit in response, "But I am your grandfather. Go on, Ben...search your feelings.." He encouraged, "You know it's true."
Ren pursed his lips as his brows furrowed in anger and confusion. While Kylo wanted to run away from this, to continue his mission, the force pulled him in. As much as he tried not to search his feelings, he had no choice. The pull he felt to this being was undeniable. This was his grandfather. This was Anakin Skywalker. Slowly, his lightsaber dropped from two hands to one as it rested at his side, as his anger drew back to make way for confusion.
"I...don't understand.." Kylo croaked out, feeling his throat tighten. Before now, he'd never seen his grandfather. Not like this. All he ever heard was the voice of Darth Vader in his mind, pushing him and encouraging him towards the dark side. But this man in front of him was young and sounded nothing like he knew.
"Ben...I couldn't get through to you until now," Anakin started, taking another step forward. This time Kylo did not step in any direction. "Palpatine had locked me out, kept you in darkness."
"Palpatine-?" Ren muttered quickly in a bewildered tone. It was an all too familiar name, despite not hearing it in ages.
"Yes, I'm afraid so. He is behind this, all of this. The first order, Snoke; it's all him."
"H-How-...I don't…" Ren's words barely found their way out. This was too much information to process at once. Palpatine was dead, he had been dead for years. If he was really behind all this, Kylo didn't understand how he hadn't heard about it until now.
"I understand this is a lot, but Ben, I need you to listen. He is using you, your father was right-"
"Don't!" Kylo snapped, feeling his throat tighten and his eyes sting. The quick movement of his body caused him to wince as pain shot through him. " Don't ." He warned. He didn't need to hear his absent grandfather lecture him about what he'd just done.
"I feel your pain. I feel your regret, your fear, your anger, your sorrow. I know that you thought killing Han was what you wanted," Anakin spoke softly as if Kylo's outburst didn't even happen. The words caused Kylo to wince and look away, fists clenching at his sides as he tried to hold back the anger Anakin's words brought him, "But it wasn't...It tore you apart, pulled you back to the light…..it let me come to you." He explained.
"You don't know- anything !" Ren snapped, turning back to look at Anakin once again as tears filled his eyes. Drawing in a few heavy breaths, something inside told him that, as much as he hated to admit it, Anakin was right. Despite wanting to continue to claim the other's ignorance, the knowledge and wisdom Anakin possessed surrounded him. He felt as though he were backed into a corner.
"But I do. I understand what you're going through more than you could ever know." Anakin assured, raising his brows as if trying to convince Kylo of this. Truly, he knew what the other was going through in this moment better than anyone else could. Kylo himself gulped back a lump in his throat. His grip tightened around his lightsaber as if he were using it to desperately cling to the dark side itself. The mere mention of Han was enough to send his emotions spiraling, and now to hear his grandfather truly connect to his pain made him weak in the legs. Suddenly, the sorrow he had been holding back filled him and he fell to his knees. Tears streamed from his eyes uncontrollably as he looked up at this ghostly figure of his grandfather.
"Ben..." Anakin tried softly, offering the boy a saddened look.
"It's too late..." Kylo whined softly, breath hitching from both the pain of loss and his wound. "I can't turn back now." He truly believed this, just as he had moments before, telling himself this as he plunged his weapon into his father. He had done too much, killed too many, hurt far more.
"You can." Anakin quickly encouraged, moving closer still until he stopped right in front of Ben. Slowly, he crouched so their gazes could meet on a level playing field. "I know your pain, I understand your pain...I felt it too. I thought it was too late, but like me, you can make things right.." He tried, mentioning his own life in an attempt to relate to Kylo, to show him that hope was never lost, no matter how far gone one thought they might be.
"I can't…" He mumbled as he tried desperately to hold back the flow of tears, to no avail. It was as if some part of him was trying to convince him he couldn't, to hold him back in the dark despite relating to everything Anakin said. It was almost like he was trying to justify Han's death this way. To stay in the agony of the First Order as punishment, instead of being free of this place.
"In every Jedi's life, there is a moment that will try to sway us to the dark side. Some take it, and others never understand how they could. You and I both were swayed by the power the dark side could offer us. But like me, you can still return to the light," Anakin spoke softly and calmingly as he attempted to soothe the aching Solo. "It took me many years to realize what I needed to do. It took Luke-" Ben grimaced and shook his head at this, the memory haunting him. The mere mention of his Uncle's name caused a bad taste in his mouth. "-saving me to make me realize what I had to do."
"Whichever Luke saved you is gone...he did this to me, grandfather…" Kylo urged, his heart aching from recollection. It was clear from his reaction and his words that he still fully believed this was all Luke's fault.
"Luke was caught in a moment of weakness, and he lives his life in regret of what he's done," Anakin explained, "But this is not about Luke. Let this be your turning point. The light needs you, Ben." He encouraged, trying to deflect the conversation away from Luke. It was something he could do nothing about at the moment, and it was better to focus on what needed to be done now. As Anakin spoke, Ren's head slowly began to hang as his mind tried to process this.
"I...I don't understand how this can be…." Kylo whimpered mostly to himself, "How can this be happening? How can it be truly you, and how can I be sure?" If he truly had been tricked this whole time, manipulated by forces he didn't understand, how could he be sure what was real and what was fake?
"It is me this time. Darth Vader is dead. He died a long time ago," Anakin began, reaching a hand out and resting it on Kylo's shoulder. Despite the hand visually being there, Ren didn't feel the heavy weight of a normal hand. Instead, he felt a sort of warm but distant pressure, this no doubt having to derive from the force itself. But this feeling filled him with an overwhelming sense of belonging, familiarity and emotion. It was as if Anakin was passing the light he felt onto his grandson, "Now, it's time for Kylo Ren to join him."
Gulping, Kylo Ren moved his head to look up at Anakin once more. The flow of tears hadn't stopped though, as he stared sadly at his grandfather. Perhaps he was right, perhaps it was time to go home.
"What would you have me do…?" He croaked out after a long moment, pursing his lips to stop potential sobs that he could feel rising in his chest. Anakin offered a weak smile at this.
"You must return to the light. You must make things right and end Palpatine's reign once and for all." He said simply. Kylo grimaced slightly at this. How was he to return home after what he had just done? How was he to face his mother, especially now?
"I….I'm afraid…" Ren admitted feebly, almost as if the words would make him weak.
"I was too… But it's okay to be afraid. You have to make things right." Anakin assured, smiling genuinely now to back up his words. Kylo drew in a deep breath, nodding a bit as he tried to comprehend everything. Slowly, his finger moved over the activation plate of his lightsaber and, in a matter of moments, the red glow disappeared back into its hilt. Nodding to himself now, Anakin stood back up and looked down at Ben.
"I am proud of you, Ben." He promised. Drawing in a deep breath, Ben put the saber back on his belt and moved to stand himself. He wrapped one arm around his wound while he used the other to help him up. In doing so, he let out a small yelp as the pain ran sharply through his body. "You must go now. But you need to know some things before you do."
"Okay…" Solo murmured, though his physical attention was on attempting to push his clothes into the wound to work on slowing the bleeding.
"Palpatine resides on an unknown planet called Exegol. Luke Skywalker is the last known person to have searched for it-" Anakin began.
"Of course he is..." Ben scoffed aside slightly, clearly not being able to let that whole thing go as easily.
"-Second is about the girl. Ben, the light needs you. She needs you. You see, her lineage is….well…" Anakin drew in a breath. This caused Ben to look up expectantly with a questioning gaze in his eyes, "Ben… She's a Palpatine.." At this, Ben's eyes widened and he took a small step back with one of his feet.
"Sh-...she's a what …?" He gasped out, looking almost horrified, though disbelief was his most prominent expression.
"Yes… She is the grandchild of the emperor. But she needs you, Ben." the elder Skywalker pressed forward, "No doubt once he realizes that he's lost you, Palpetine will turn to her to replace you. You must not let that come to pass, do you understand?"
"I...I understand but...There's no way she will believe me, no way I can speak to her." Ben blurted out, simply stunned by this information. He knew that the girl was talented and untrained, but he could have never suspected such a lineage to be the reason why.
"The path before you will not be easy, I won't pretend it is. But you must not let Palpatine sway her. It is critical. Now, you must hurry." Anakin stated as he glanced back for a moment.
"I- I don't feel ready- please, don't leave just yet-" Ben pleaded, taking a step forward this time, wincing as he did so. Fear and innocence filled his eyes at the prospect of having to continue on by himself, "-I can't do this alone."
"I cannot help you any further, though I will always be with you. You'll never be truly alone again. I promise you this," Anakin nodded with a warm smile before it all faded away, "Now you must go. There's little time left." And with that, Ben was left standing alone.
Drawing in a deep but pained breath, the young Solo regained his bearings. Eyes searching the area as if looking for some hidden mentor to guide him, he tried to comprehend that he was truly alone now. Gulping, he turned on his heels and marched towards the launch bay. As he moved, his mind raced for thoughts of what to do, of what to say when he found the girl. He knew that she had seen his murder, knew that this would be anything but easy.
As he moved through the cold hallways of Starkiller base, platoons of troopers and officers rushed to and fro, but none paid attention to Ben. This was something he was utterly grateful for. The last thing he wanted to do was pretend to be Kylo Ren in front of them, especially when he was having a hard time drawing the line between the two. While Anakin's words pushed him to the light, motivating his walk, he couldn't help but feel the pull back to the dark. It would almost be easier to remain as Kylo Ren. He wouldn't have to face the girl, he wouldn't have to face Chewbacca, and he most certainly wouldn't have to face his mother. But Anakin was right. Ben had wanted to finish what his grandfather started, it just took this long to realize it wasn't Darth Vader's path he was supposed to complete.
The familiarity of the base was enough to let him get lost in his thoughts. Ben's feet had carried him to the launch bay without him even realizing. TIE-Pilots were scrambling around as they rushed desperately to board their ships, and troopers hurried to help launch the fighters. After surveying the scene briefly, his eyes locked onto his personal ship, the TIE-Silencer; a sleek rounded rectangular black hold with wings shaped like daggers stretching ahead. Despite everything, it was a ship he had actually grown to enjoy flying; no doubt a trait from his father.
A stabbing pain shot through him from his wound, causing him to ram his fist into his wound to disperse it with a grunt, before walking with purpose towards his ship. The last thing he needed was to be stopped. Luckily for him, the panic of the troopers caused them to pay little to no mind to their supreme leader's apprentice. He managed to climb up and drop into his ship albeit with a bit of struggle and pain. Gulping softly, Ben powered up Kylo's TIE. Before he knew it, the vessel was whooshing out of the bay and headed towards redemption.